5. Sage

CHAPTER 5

Sage

I sagged forward and pressed my cheek against the soft seat cushion, gasping for breath. I didn’t care that my butt was in the air or that Fantasy Man was still buried inside me. In fact, I loved that he was still there, his cock pulsing with his heartbeat, the heat from his body somehow still blazing against my bare skin even though my insides had been flooded with warmth. His touch still sent whispers of lightning tickling through my skin and his hot breath washed warm and sensual over my back.

“And you managed to stay this time.” He slid himself out of me and before I could figure out what I was supposed to do with a stranger who’d just brought me the most incredible pleasure of my life, he wrapped his arms around me, laid back against the bench’s arm, and held me against his chest .

“I managed to stay?” He was still dressed, but his jerkin was made of a soft dark material, so I rested my cheek over his heart, listening to it race, still pounding from what we’d done, and melted into his embrace.

It should have been strange letting him hold me. It should have been really strange letting him touch and enter me. I still had no idea what his name was or even what he looked like. But when I went to raise my head, he stroked his fingers through my hair, urging me to stay resting against him.

“Just stay like this,” he murmured, a wistful, yearning sadness edging his tone. “Please. Just for a moment.”

There was something so broken, so resigned about his tone, as if he had a fate he didn’t want but had accepted it.

It made my heart hitch and I relaxed against his touch, willing to give him this comfort even though I didn’t know what I was comforting him from. I didn’t feel uncomfortable with him despite knowing nothing about him. In fact, I felt safe, safer than I’d ever felt before, and staying wrapped in his arms, drifting in this moment of peace, my worries momentarily forgotten, was a comfort for me, too.

It didn’t make sense, especially since I knew this wasn’t a dream, but I supposed if he’d wanted to hurt me, he’d had plenty of opportunities to do so already .

“What did you mean by I managed to stay this time?” I asked, snuggling into his embrace.

“Last night you lost control of your spirit form when you came.” His fingers continued to stroke gentle lines across my temple and through my hair, relaxing me even more. “You almost lost it tonight, but managed to hold on.”

The image of Rider turning to smoke and vanishing popped into my mind’s eye.

Fantasy Man had still been going when I’d come, so… “If I hadn’t managed to stay, that would have left you…” I wasn’t sure how to finish that sentence.

“A very unhappy man,” he chuckled. “So I’m glad you stayed.”

“Me too. And I’m glad you found me tonight.” I hadn’t necessarily been looking for him, but a part of me had really hoped to see him again this evening.

“Oh, I’m pretty sure you would have been just fine on your own,” he replied.

“Fine, sure. But not great.” I released a satisfied sigh, drawing another soft laugh. “Thank you. I didn’t know sex could feel that way.”

“If it doesn’t, you’re doing it wrong.” He pressed his lips against the top of my head and tightened his grip around my waist as if he couldn’t get me close enough. “You should probably go.”

His grip belied his words, but still something in me fluttered in disappointment.

I didn’t want this moment to end. I’d thought coming to the fae’s Garden last night had been a mistake and even though I’d shown up tonight, it still could be a mistake.

One of these nights I might go to bed and not wake up in the Garden, and I didn’t think I’d ever feel this good again. I certainly didn’t know if I’d ever feel this safe or comfortable in a man’s arms.

I hadn’t even felt this way with Royston. Having sex with him had been a way to get back at Edred, not because we’d been in love, but because I wanted control over something, anything.

As a nobleman’s daughter, Edred controlled my entire life and I’d been determined not to let him have control of my first sexual experience. Of course that quick encounter had been a huge disappointment compared to my second and third experiences.

I released another satisfied sigh and turned my attention to the patch of stars above me, visible through a large break in the leafy canopy that covered this magical grove.

“Do you have somewhere you have to be?” I asked.

His fingers in my hair stilled. “I don’t.”

“Then let’s stay like this for a bit and look at the stars. They’re beautiful tonight.”

His fingers resumed their mesmerizing strokes, lulling my already relaxed body even more. “Not as beautiful as you. ”

“Oh, you don’t know I’m beautiful,” I replied. “I could be really ugly on the inside.”

“But someone ugly on the inside wouldn’t have pointed that out.”

“Unless I’m trying to trick you into thinking I’m beautiful,” I shot back, making him chuckle. Great Father I loved that sound. Rich and masculine and sensual. “I don’t understand how this isn’t a dream. I don’t know you, don’t know your name, don’t even know what you look like, but I feel safe. I wish I didn’t have to go back.”

I didn’t know if fae women had more freedom than human women, but it wouldn’t matter if I could just stay like this with him forever.

Except what would happen to Sawyer if I didn’t return? I had no idea what my body was doing while I was here in the Garden. If I stayed, I probably wouldn’t wake up and then I’d be discovered and?—

Crap. I had to get back. Giving in to this desire, this comfort, was a mistake. I’d almost forgotten my purpose and endangered my brother’s life. I couldn’t have Fantasy Man and Sawyer’s safety. It was one or the other, and Sawyer’s life was more important than my happiness.

Besides, I wasn’t fae and I didn’t want to see Fantasy Man’s disappointment when he learned the truth.

“You were right,” I said, my throat and chest tightening. I didn’t want to leave him. It didn’t make sense. I didn’t know him, but my soul hurt thinking this could be the last time I saw him… and knowing it should be the last time I saw him. “I have to go.”

“I know, Red. It’s okay.” He pressed his lips against the top of my head and I drifted away, my consciousness sinking into darkness and my soul tight with grief.