35. Rider

CHAPTER 35

Rider

Fear swept over the rage in Sawyer’s eyes, and he bolted for the mouth of the running trail as my wolf strained to take control and chase after him. What the fuck had possessed the boy? He’d threatened the lives of his fellow novices and then broken Ambrose’s nose. And while I was sure they deserved it, Sawyer had attacked a fellow Guardsman in front of me, which meant he was the one I had to punish.

“Enough,” I snarled at the other novices. “You haven’t put the boy in his place. All you’ve shown him is that he can’t trust you. Right now, if you face a shadow with him, he’s going to stand back and let it tear you to shreds?—”

Mikel opened his mouth to say something, and I snapped my attention to him, my wolf curling my lips back and releasing a snarl, silencing whatever idiotic defense he was going to make.

“And I’d be standing right beside him watching. That isn’t special treatment?—”

My claws and canines extended, and I didn’t bother to fight it. Let them see just how pissed off I was. It was about fucking time.

“That’s survival. If he can’t trust you, I can’t trust you. If you want to compete for a place on an elite team, you better show me that your fellow Guardsmen trust you and you can follow fucking orders!”

I raked my glare over them, watching both the human and fae novices shrink back from my beast’s fury.

Quill and Talon stepped up beside me, adding their glare to mine. Not that it was necessary or intimidating, but they were making it clear that on this, we, the leaders of the Black Guard, were a united front.

I was actually thoroughly impressed with Talon for not completely losing his shit. I had no doubt it was taking everything for him to hold his shadow at bay. Sawyer had looked furious and shocked and terrified and was sporting a new bright red bruise on his cheek. Whatever they’d done, it had crossed a line.

One more fuck up and I was done playing nice. I didn’t care how much I needed Guardsmen or if I had to have proof. If I and the other Guardsmen couldn’t trust these novices, they didn’t belong in the Guard, and since I couldn’t send the humans back, they were going to have the most menial service positions I could give them for the rest of their lives.

“I punished Sawyer for coming through the ring after dark, and you thought it wasn’t enough. You think you know better?” I leveled my gaze on Mikel. “Then you should be Lord Commander. Come and take it from me.”

Mikel glanced at Durand, then Bramwell, Hamelin, and Ambrose — whose hands were still clamped over his nose, blood oozing between his fingers.

“Don’t look at them.” I flexed my fingers, my claws getting even bigger, almost too big for my hands, and fur swept up over my forearms. “You took Sawyer’s discipline into your own hands, so you must want to challenge me for leadership of the Guard.”

“It wasn’t— I didn’t—” Mikel stammered.

“What about you?” I glared at Durand, who inched away, then at Hamelin and Bramwell, who hung their heads, scared and ashamed. “How about you?” I snarled, leveling my gaze on Ambrose.

“The Lord Commander asked you a question,” Quill barked, making the novices jump. “Are you challenging him for leadership?”

“No, my lord,” Ambrose gasped and Bramwell bobbed his head in agreement.

“I can’t hear you.” Quill set his hand on the hilt of his sword.

“No, my lord,” they all called back, louder this time, their voices edged with fear.

“Good,” Quill said. “The men are yours, Lord Commander.”

My wolf huffed at him. It wanted to hunt, to tear something to pieces, and was pissed that no one had accepted my challenge.

“Ambrose,” I snarled, my wolf darkening my voice, making the man’s breath pick up and his eyes widen with fear. “Go to the infirmary and get that fixed. Everyone else, grab a practice sword, pair up, and start sparring.”

The men all scrambled to obey me as I watched, seething that it had come to this.

I let Talon and Quill handle the afternoon’s sparring, watching from the corner of my eye as Sawyer came down the final hill on the trail and went back up the first, going around and around, his laps getting slower and slower. I wanted to calm down before dealing with the boy, but every time I saw him stagger down that hill, I heard his threat.

I will slit your throats while you sleep.

Sawyer wasn’t the risk for suicide that Ash and Talon had first thought. He was at risk for murder.

The boy who understood Talon’s condition, who Kit had said was smart and thoughtful and had come through the ring after dark because he’d been getting his sister to safety, had been pushed to the very edge and was about to snap.

And that continued to inflame my wolf’s rage. Ash had said he’d taken whatever Mikel and friends had thrown at him without complaint for the last few days — he even seemed to be using it to better his reflexes and learn to anticipate attacks. He wouldn’t have just snapped over that or over the blow to his face. It had to have been?—

The boy stumbled down the last hill, lost his balance and skidded the last few feet on his knees, ripping his pants.

Damn it. I should have stopped him sooner. He shouldn’t have done the last couple?—

Fuck, how many laps had he done?

The seventh bell rang, ending the afternoon’s training session, and my stomach bottomed out. I’d made him run for the entire session. Even if it had been at the beginning of a rotation that would have been too much for a novice, and Sawyer had been working hard for days. It was actually a miracle he’d run for as long as he had.

With a groan, he shoved himself to his feet and staggered toward the trail’s first hill… because I hadn’t told him to stop yet and when I’d yelled at him he’d had that same look in his eyes when we’d first squared off in the sparring ring, the one that told me he’d been beaten frequently by someone before he’d come to the Tower.

“Enough,” I barked, striding toward him, unable to keep my and my wolf’s anger from my tone.

Goddess I was so angry. Angry that Sawyer was about to snap, angry that the humans would send me a child, angry that other humans couldn’t behave themselves, and angry at letting my anger overwhelm me enough to lose track of how many laps Sawyer had run.

He stumbled to a stop then valiantly, foolishly, fought to keep standing before collapsing to his hands and knees, gasping for breath. With a groan, his back heaved, and he threw up, not even trying to avoid his hands let alone get off the trail.

I was a monster. I should have paid more attention— hell, I shouldn’t have punished him in the first place because it was obvious he’d been defending himself. But there were some lines that couldn’t be crossed and attacking a fellow Guardsman in front of the Lord Commander or the captains outside of a sparring ring was one of them.

“You never attack another Guardsman,” I snarled. I never wanted to make him run like that again.

His back heaved again and he gasped something that might have been the start of an acknowledgement but ended in him puking again.

“You’re relieved from stable duty this evening.” Because I doubted he’d be able to stand, let alone handle all but the most placid nags we used for supply runs.

Talon and Quill watched with wary eyes, knowing one small thing could set off my wolf.

“And you’re restricted to the Tower for your lieu days. I expect to see better self control when the new rotation starts.” I forced myself to turn away, fighting the urge to tell him a part of me was actually proud of him for standing up to the others. I couldn’t condone what he’d done or show him mercy. That would only make the matter worse.

Talon opened his mouth to say something and took a hesitant step toward Sawyer, but my wolf snarled at him. “You have to leave him.”

“I hate this,” he murmured back, his body tense and half of his skin black with his shadow.

“So do I,” I huffed, “but he broke Ambrose’s nose in front of everyone.”

“Knowing Sawyer, the man probably deserved it,” Quill said, grabbing Talon’s hand and tugging him after me.

Talon pulled out of Quill’s grasp but didn’t turn back to help the boy. “I wonder which one of those assholes is Ash.”

“Best guess, Hamelin or Bramwell,” I said, yanking open the pasture gate and storming inside the Tower’ s bailey.

“I really hope it’s Ambrose,” Talon huffed. “Would serve him right for letting it go as far as it did. Did you see how scared he was?”

“Did you see how angry?” Quill added. “He was already hesitant with… well, with everyone. It’s going to be that much harder to earn his trust now.”

“I know.” I ran my hands through my hair, pulling out my topknot and not giving a fuck that I didn’t look like the in-control-lord-commander I was supposed to be. “But he trusts Kit, Payne, and Lewin. We should build on that.”

“How are we going to do that without it looking like one of us is giving him special treatment?” Quill asked.

“I don’t know,” I snarled.

“We could move the advanced novices’ rotation to the second shift, then at least his mealtime would line up with theirs,” Talon suggested.

“Except the other Guardsmen would know we were making a concession for him because novice training is always the first shift,” Quill said.

“At the very least, find Kit and tell him the boy is stuck in the Tower for the next two days and isn’t restricted to a specific mealtime,” I said, reaching a door near the great hall and yanking it open. “He can at least eat with them during his lieu time.”

“If he’s up to getting down to the great hall,” Talon replied, reminding me that I was the reason he was probably still on his hands and knees on the running trail dry heaving.

Fuck!

My wolf’s ferocious nature flared, and I seized the front of Talon’s jerkin and shoved him into the wall with more force than I wanted.

“Tell them to bring the boy food or carry him down, or whatever,” I growled in his face. “I don’t care what, but we can’t completely lose his trust.”

I didn’t know why it was suddenly so important, but the thought of him hating me or despising his life here in the Tower squeezed my chest so tight I could barely breathe and made my bones ache with my wolf’s need to shift.

He was a promising fighter. Even if he never had a growth spurt and stayed his pathetically small size, he was already close to being as good as a regular Guardsman with the potential of becoming great.