2. Sage

CHAPTER 2

Sage

“I didn’t think I’d return, either,” I replied.

A warm breeze sighed through the grass, rippling the water between us and teasing a lock of hair at his temple.

Lord Rider wasn’t as beautiful as Talon or Lord Quill, but he was still ruggedly handsome, and unlike me, who’d transformed into a fae with long hair and a red dress, he looked like he had at the Black Tower.

He wore his black clothes and armor and his weapons — or at least half of his weapons since he only had three or four daggers on him here in the Garden. His shoulder-length black hair with its silver streak was half pulled back in a topknot and half loose, and he still had those three thin silver scars slicing over the bridge of his nose and across his left cheek. And while he might have left the Gray before nightfall and been in the Garden in person, I suspected he’d manifested his spirit into the Garden like I had, which meant what I was looking at now was how his spirit actually appeared.

His eyes searched mine as if he was looking for something but I couldn’t figure out what. “You look less stunned this time.”

“You only think that because you’re sitting over there and it’s dark out.”

I straightened, sending a whisper of pain thrumming through me. Except it was a ghost of what it had been moments ago in my room in the Black Tower, and I didn’t know if that was because this wasn’t really my body or because of something else.

The breeze sighed again, carrying with it deep, masculine laughter, drawing my attention to the courtyard behind Lord Rider. Inside, beyond the large statues of beautiful fae women and the green gauzy curtains, were a whole bunch of men far too eager for my attention.

Lord Rider glanced behind him, following my gaze up the path to the courtyard then turned back to me. “I’ll stay until you get your bearings.”

“Why would you do that?”

“My sister,” he replied.

Right. He’d said last night that she’d been stunned the first time she’d manifested and he understood how disorienting it could be. Of course, then Talon had shown up, snapped at me, given Lord Rider a hard time about being with a woman, and then Lord Rider had made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with me.

“You sure you want to be seen with me?”

The laugh came again and two beautiful fae men stepped out of the courtyard onto the path. Their gazes jumped to me as if I were a magnet, compelling them to look at me, and their expressions brightened with hope and desire. Lord Rider shifted on the bench, glared at them, and they hurried away without approaching me.

“You sure you want me to leave?” he replied.

He had a point. I wasn’t ready to deal with the other men and their hungry need for me.

A shiver rushed over me. Well, I was certainly interested in one man’s hungry need for me: my fantasy man. Except now that I knew this wasn’t a dream, I was confused as hell as to why Fantasy Man’s desire hadn’t scared me like the other men’s desire.

It had felt similar even though I’d never looked in his eyes and actually seen it. But somehow it had been different, like he was supposed to desire me like that.

I stood and Lord Rider — no, here he was just Rider — moved to the edge of the stone bench, offering me as much space on the small seat as possible which wasn’t much given how big and bulky he was.

But that only reminded me that he was the gruff Lord Commander of the Black Guard who didn’t like me. Was his change in behavior toward me because I was a woman here and he was kind to women?

No, it was probably because in the Gray he thought I was an idiot and didn’t have the patience for idiots regardless of their gender and here he’d yet to form an opinion on me.

“I don’t know how much you remember from last night,” he said as I sat. “I’m Rider.”

My shoulder accidentally brushed his as I settled and more need thrummed through me, making me tremble.

Swell.

Thanks to Talon, I was desiring not just Fantasy Man, but the Lord Commander as well and that just had trouble written all over it.

“Sage,” I replied, my voice breathy. “Are you meeting the same men tonight?”

“You mean is Talon going to show up and be an asshole?” Rider growled. “No. We’ve already met this evening. He’s off fucking someone. Or he better be.”

I raised my eyebrows at that.

“Fuck, sorry,” he said, his gaze turning apologetic then slipping away from me as if he were embarrassed to maintain eye contact. “Guess that was crude. I’m not used to female company.”

He worked entirely with men and had been doing it long enough to become the Lord Commander of the Black Guard. ‘Not used to female company’ was an understatement.

I snorted a quick laugh then realized how rude that was and tensed, ready to be admonished for my unfeminine behavior.

“My sister doesn’t count,” he added, as if he hadn’t noticed my unladylike snort and needed to offer more of an explanation. “I’m a Guardsman at the Black Tower. I don’t have contact with a lot of women.”

Just a Guardsman. Not the Lord Commander. This was becoming a really weird conversation. Rider was confident and gruff at the Tower. Here he was almost awkward, as if he were afraid or didn’t know how to be in a woman’s company. If I hadn’t known without a doubt this was real, I’d have said this was my weirdest dream yet.

“You know your sister might be upset that she doesn’t count as a woman.”

“Nope. She knows I’m a disaster around women.” He huffed his own quick laugh. “Pretty sure I’ve said more to you in this conversation than I have to any woman since…” His expression darkened. “Why didn’t you think you’d be returning?”

“I—” Well that was a sudden change of conversation. “I just didn’t.”

I shrugged and left it at that since I couldn’t say I hadn’t thought I’d return because I was really a human and shouldn’t have been here in the first place.

“Is your sister here?” I asked, making my own sharp turn in our conversation.

“She’s with her mates. She only has a few more days left in her conception cycle and…” His expression grew even darker.

That look had flickered across his face last night as well when she’d pressed her hands to her belly and her eyes had filled with the obvious hope that she’d become pregnant.

“You’re worried about her.”

“She wants a child so much, but she’s been trying for a long time with no success. One of these cycles she’s going to realize it isn’t possible and it’s going to break her heart,” he said, his voice gruff.

“That’s terrible.” I didn’t know what else to say to that. No one should have to deal with the pain of realizing they’d never have their heart’s desire.

Except that thought made me wonder what my heart’s desire was and my thoughts instantly jumped to Fantasy Man. I wanted to see him again and have him bring me pleasure again and again.

And while yes, I desperately wanted that, I also wanted to be free, to make my own choices, and not have to obey someone else’s whims.

“Her mates will get her through it.” He shrugged and glanced back in the direction Lark had gone last night. The direction that I now knew led to the maze-like grove with all the bedrooms and nooks and soft, magical glowing flowers, and where Fantasy Man had made me?—

My breath picked up, and that need Talon had awakened flared stronger, hot and achy within me.

“They’re good men. But…” he said.

“But you’re her brother and you’d do anything to protect her,” I finished for him, trying to focus on the conversation and not my body’s growing desires.

Except Rider’s silver gaze slid back to me and captured my soul, adding to the heat in my marks and around my heart and between my thighs. Then laugher in the courtyard behind us drew his attention away, and I was released once again.

“I’d do anything for her,” he replied.

“I know how you feel. I have a brother I’d do anything for.” That I was already doing everything for and was facing certain death if I didn’t figure out how to defend myself or stop whatever was coming.

Except— oh crap. I’d taken on Sawyer’s binding spell. Rider had looked at my forearm where the spell had sank into me when I’d first arrived and I could only assume he’d been able to tell I’d been enspelled. Could he see it now?

No, that was silly. I didn’t know him very well, but he struck me as an observant man, which meant he would have noticed the binding spell by now.

“I take it your brother isn’t of age,” Rider said, making me frown in confusion. “If he was, even if you’d manifested by accident last night, he would have been here to show you the Garden tonight. Unless you haven’t told your family you’re manifesting.”

“My brother had to leave home and I have no other family,” I said, the truth slipping from my tongue.

“So there’s no one here for you?” Now it was Rider’s turn to frown. “How do you not have any other family? Where’s your mother and her mates and their families.”

“I—” Because they were dead. And even though Edred was technically now the man in charge of my life, he didn’t count as family.

Except from Rider’s response, it sounded like even if my mother and father had died there’d be other family members to take care of me. Lark had four mates. Did all fae woman have multiple mates? And if that was the case, all those men likely had brothers and sisters and mothers and multiple fathers as well. With that many people connected to each other, I doubted fae children were ever abandoned like human children.

“Why don’t you show me the Garden.” It was another obvious change in subject and I prayed Rider wouldn’t push me for details.

I didn’t know if coming to the Garden a second time was another accident or not, but if it wasn’t and I was going to keep showing up here every time I fell asleep, I couldn’t risk anyone finding out I wasn’t who I seemed to be. I didn’t know if that would affect what happened at the Black Tower or not, but it was a chance I didn’t want to take.

That, and I didn’t want to push Rider away. Here I could actually talk to him, be near him, stare at him as much as I wanted, something I couldn’t do in the Gray despite the aching need that compelled me to stare every time he or Talon or Lord Quill were near.

Maybe if I got my fill of looking at him here, I’d be able to stop looking at him when I was supposed to be Sawyer.

Except Rider jerked to his feet as if I’d burned him, his expression suddenly hard. “No. I— I’ve forgotten myself. Ask someone else.”