19. Talon

CHAPTER 19

Talon

I paced the sitting room of my suite, stomping between the wooden door leading to the balcony and the large table on the other side of the room that was covered with reports along with my jerkin and sword belt.

My mind whirled and my shoulder throbbed where Rider had stabbed me. Flint had stitched me up and added enough magic to speed up my natural healing but hadn’t done much more, saving his magic in the event other Guardsmen ran into real trouble while on patrol.

I jerked away from the table back toward the door, rubbing my face as if that would help me think straight.

I had no idea what had happened. My eyes had landed on Sawyer and my shadow had just exploded from my body, its hunger overwhelming and ferocious .

Goddess, it was still ferocious, writhing under my skin and straining to break free and take over again.

It twisted around the spark in the core of my being that let me control the shadows around me and strained to get back to Sawyer. It was still hungry for whatever it was that it consumed, and it had taken more from Sawyer than anyone before. It should have been satisfied.

I’d thought when I’d told Rider that it was satisfied that it had been.

But really it had just been shocked and scared. Just like I’d been.

It had desired Sawyer from the moment it had sensed him in the bathing room beneath the barracks, and its hunger had only grown stronger each time our paths crossed.

Then I’d crested the final hill on the running trail and Sawyer’s gaze had leaped to mine. I’d gone instantly hard, my cock straining against the front of my pants, and my shadow had jerked me forward and seized hold of the boy before I could even think of fighting it.

The sudden explosion of desire had shocked me… but it had also shocked my shadow and now both of us were confused as hell.

There was something about Sawyer Herstind that it craved, that made it ravenous, and we both knew if we didn’t figure out how to control ourselves, we could kill the boy.

Goddess, we might have already permanently hurt him.

My shadow had never drained anyone so deeply, never left a person weak and shaking and yet still fully affected by its allure. The rush from Sawyer had been powerful and breathtaking and so strong neither of us had realized he’d actually come, and coming should have burned off all of my shadow’s seductive magic from his body.

Except it hadn’t. The boy had been desperate for more and, from the way he’d looked at Rider, he hadn’t cared if his release had come from me or Rider, which was another thing that had never happened before.

And damn if I hadn’t wanted to give him more. I’d wanted to wrap my hand around his cock, push my own cock into him, and make him see stars.

My cheeks heated with embarrassment. I couldn’t believe I’d offered to make him come again. It had been highly inappropriate. And if Sawyer hadn’t fully accepted that he was attracted to men, it was something that could make him withdraw further into his shell. I could only pray I hadn’t done serious emotional or physical damage to him.

A sense of agreement and worry from my shadow swept through me. It didn’t want to hurt Sawyer either and knew it needed to be more careful next time.

There might not be a next time, I thought at it even though we didn’t communicate with words but with feelings and intentions.

It responded with a sense of certainty that there would be a next time. But not for a while. Not until Sawyer had recovered.

Except just thinking about Sawyer reminded it of its hunger and how delicious he’d tasted.

Someone knocked on my door. I prayed it was Quill with an update on Sawyer’s condition, but feared it was Rider, ready to reprimand me for losing control.

With my stomach churning, I opened it.

Quill stood in the hall. Relief flickered in my chest, but it only lasted a moment. Quill’s expression was tight with concern and my thoughts instantly jumped to Sawyer and the condition he’d been in when Rider had sent me to the infirmary.

Oh, Goddess. Had I permanently hurt him? Had I killed him?

“Is he all right?” I asked even as the urge to go to him swelled inside me.

“Shaken and drained,” Quill said as he entered.

I forced myself to close the door and not check on Sawyer myself. I doubted he’d want to see me, especially if he hadn’t managed to alleviate the rest of my shadow’s allure.

That, and I didn’t know if my shadow could contain its allure in Sawyer’s presence yet. It was somehow still hungry, wanting me to drive into him and feed it properly with sex not just desire. Which meant I would still be radiating its allure whether either of us wanted it to or not.

Quill reached the middle of the room then glared at me still standing with my hand on the latch. “What happened?”

I heaved myself away from the door and sagged onto the nearby couch.

“I have no idea.” And that was one of the things that terrified me. “The shadow just took over and fed off him like he was fae. He tastes like he’s fae.”

A shudder swept through me with a mix of satisfaction and hunger. Whatever the shadow craved, Sawyer had it in abundance, and I had no idea how long I, or my shadow, would be able to resist its urges.

Quill unbuckled his sword belt and set it on the table beside mine then eased onto the couch beside me. I shifted, putting my legs on either side of him, so I could wrap my arms around him and hold him against my chest, taking comfort in his body and praying his calm nature would help steady me and my shadow.

“But he’s clearly human,” Quill replied, leaning into me.

“Maybe his spark is strong.” Except that didn’t make sense because fae had stronger sparks than humans and my shadow had never reacted to them like it had Sawyer.

“Strong enough to taste like a fae?” Quill frowned. “Have you fed on a fae-touched human before? Maybe that’s the difference.”

“Once, but it wasn’t anything like with Sawyer. The shadow wanted Sawyer— still wants him.”

It churned within me, its allure radiating from my body and making Quill’s eyes roll back even though it was Sawyer it really wanted.

Damn it. You’re fine. You’ve just had the biggest fucking meal you’ve ever had .

“How is it still hungry?” Quill breathed.

Its allure surged stronger and Quill shivered, the movement of his body turning me instantly hard. Again. Fuck. I’d thought the shadow and I had come to an understanding. It wasn’t evil. It was trapped inside me and it understood that we couldn’t draw attention to ourselves.

“I’ve had a few days rest. I can give it another feeding,” Quill said, his words slurred with his desire.

Stop it, I thought at it even as my hands slid down to the laces on Quill’s pants. But a new emotion billowed within me in response.

It didn’t really want to feed. It wanted… comfort. Something within Sawyer comforted it and Quill was willing to offer a little bit of that comfort as well.

Quill shifted, giving me better access down the front of his pants, the movement grinding his back against my cock and making my breath hitch .

Goddess be damned, I needed comfort as well.

“It really wants Sawyer again,” I groaned, sliding my hand into Quill’s pants.

“Sawyer—” he started.

I brushed my thumb over his tip, sliding through the precum already beaded there, and made his breath hitch.

My shadow shuddered with pleasure.

We loved that sound, loved the look of bliss on Quill’s face, and hated how it broke my heart a little more each time we made love to him. Because if he was truly going to be mine, he’d have to abandon his dream of being mated to a woman.

“Sawyer can’t take another feeding like that anytime soon,” he said on a soft moan.

“The shadow agrees.” It— I pushed my hand deeper in his pants and wrapped my fingers around the base of his cock. I wanted this as much as my shadow did, needed the comfort Quill was offering with his body. “What happened shocked it as much as it shocked the rest of us. It’ll be more cautious next time.”

“You honestly think Sawyer will let there be a next time?” he asked as I drew my hand up his length. “You have to ask permission for anything more. You can’t just attack him again.”

“I think he’ll let it feed.” I pressed my lips against his jaw and pumped my hand down, drawing another soft moan that made my shadow shiver with pleasure. “When the shadow overwhelmed him, he felt it like I do, felt its hunger and loneliness. But I doubt Rider will let it happen even if Sawyer agrees. And I shouldn’t let it happen, either, no matter what my shadow wants. I could have seriously hurt the boy. I still might have.”

And the shadow could have hurt more than just his body. For all I knew he was in the middle of a crisis, fully realizing that he desired men when all his life he’d probably been told women were the only ones he was supposed to desire.

“I thought I had everything under control,” I murmured more to myself then Quill.

But my shadow had possessed me in a way he’d never possessed me before and I hadn’t realized just how hungry he’d been… still was.