15. Sage

CHAPTER 15

Sage

“I what?” I squeaked.

“Go down the trail to the trees, find yourself some privacy, and deal with that.” He gave a pointed look at my crotch that made my breath hitch.

“I’m not going into the forest and—” Great Father, how would a guy put it? “I’m not taking it out and—” Shadows, I couldn’t even say it. “I’m not even sure I can stand.” Maybe if I pointed out that I was weak from Talon’s feeding Rider would take pity on me.

Except I had no idea what “take pity on me” looked like. Send me back to my room? If I couldn’t walk how the hell could I get there?

“This is my fault, I can finish you off,” Talon offered, drawing closer to me.

“No! I’m not— I can’t— I?—”

Oh Father, yes yes yes .

No!

“Not appropriate!” Rider snarled, the sound more animal than human… or rather fae. He yanked his blade from Talon’s shoulder and shoved him toward the Tower. “He’s human and barely a man. Leave before I stab you again.”

“Ah… right.” Talon looked stunned for a second as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just offered then shot me another apologetic look and ran back to the Tower.

“If you want to press charges against him, I’ll support you,” Rider said, his tone dark, his gaze locked on Talon. “It’s well within your right even though you’re no longer a lord. He’s a captain so I won’t be the judge. It has to go to the human-fae council in the Gold Tower. You’ll be assured a fair hearing.”

“I could press charges?” I had no idea I had those kind of rights. I’d never had those kind of rights before. But of course now I could press charges against Talon because they thought I was a man. If they knew I was a woman they’d probably laugh and shrug it off?—

Except maybe not. The fae seemed to look at women differently than humans. Attacking a woman might be even worse in their culture than attacking a man.

“He shouldn’t have lost control like that.” Rider wiped his bloody dagger on his pant leg and shoved the weapon back into its sheath with more force than necessary .

His body was tight and I didn’t need to see his face to tell he was furious. And while I could guess he was angry at Talon, I couldn’t be sure that he also wasn’t angry with me.

“I have no clue why he lost control like that. I’ve never seen his shadow do that before.” He jerked a dark glare to me, his eyes narrowed, studying me, making the cold and need inside me swell. “His magic is darkness, so no one else knows that there’s actually an entity inside him.”

And really, if people did know, they’d be terrified of him. They’d probably lock him up, not caring that the shadow wasn’t evil.

“No one else would understand,” I said. I was kind of surprised Rider wasn’t afraid of Talon’s shadow since Talon had indicated no one else had seen or experienced the same heartbreaking loneliness I had. “It was an accident.”

I knew that in my heart. His shadow had been starving and desperate and I had what it needed. I didn’t know why it hadn’t gone after Rider or why Talon hadn’t been feeding it properly, but it hadn’t meant to hurt me. That, and even if I did want to press charges, that would just draw more attention to me.

Movement drew my gaze to the pasture gate as the other novices, along with Lord Quill, jogged into the pasture and headed our way.

My attention locked on Quill’s golden hair, somehow catching sunlight that wasn’t shining anywhere else in the Gray, and my pulse stuttered like it always did when I saw him. Except now my need was so much stronger than before, fueled by Talon’s magic.

Crap. I had to get a hold of myself. I couldn’t let the other novices see me making eyes at Lord Quill or Lord Rider for that matter. Without a doubt that would just be another thing they could use against me.

If they didn’t give me trouble for being attracted to men — something that humans were taught was disgusting — then they’d accuse me of trying to get special attention, whether I was given special attention or not.

And as much as I wanted to run — or rather stagger — back to my room, wrap myself in all the blankets I had, and make myself come again, the others would see getting out of today’s training as special attention.

I heaved myself to my feet, sending a wave of dizziness sweeping over me, and staggered to the closest boulder marking the running trail to keep my balance.

“Sit back down,” Rider commanded.

“I’m all right. I just need a moment and then I need to get into the brushes so I can—” Another, stronger, wave of dizziness crashed over me.

“You’ve just gone white as a sheet. Sit down before you pass out and crack your skull open.”

“I’m— ”

“Sit.” He grabbed the front of my jerkin, heaved me forward, making need blaze through me and the world lurch. Then he kicked my feet out from under me, and sat me back on the ground. “If you can’t stand by the time they’ve run the trail, I’m sending you back to your room.”

“What happened to running into the bushes to jerk off?” I groaned, the words slipping out before I could stop them.

“That was before you looked like you were going to puke and pass out… ah fuck,” he swore. “He said you tasted like a fae. He must have fed on you like you were fae. Quill!”

Lord Quill’s attention jumped to us, and he dropped the bag he’d been carrying and broke out into a full run.

“What’s wrong?” He crouched in front of me and captured my chin, sending that shock of something I always felt when I made even the briefest of contact with Lord Quill zing through me.

I bit back a groan, determined to not fall in his emerald gaze like I had when I’d first met him in Herstind March. But with firm fingers, he forced me to raise my head to meet his eyes, and when I tried to squeeze my eyes shut, he forced my lids open and stared at me, making my body ache with need.

Oh Father! They were going to be the end of me. I wanted him, Talon, Fantasy Man, even Lord Rider so badly. Now now now.

“Head injury?” Lord Quill turned my head, abruptly releasing me from his gaze and looking for blood while I strained against his grip to look back at him and maintain eye contact. I couldn’t look away, I needed him to?—

I reached to cup his cheeks, the urge to kiss him, take pleasure from him, was overwhelming.

No. Stop. Just stop. I wrenched my hands back and an all-too-feminine whimper escaped my lips, sending a feminine blush of embarrassment burning over my face.

Shit shit shit. I squeezed my eyes shut. “Please stop touching me.”

“Talon injury,” Rider replied, his voice grim.

Quill jerked his hand away. “Shit. But he dealt with it last night.”

“Apparently not, and his allure seems to have a stronger affect on the boy than others,” Lord Rider said.

The footsteps of the other novices drew closer, but I kept my eyes shut. I was already on the ground looking weak. I wasn’t going to let them see my need for Lord Quill and Lord Rider, too.

“Looks like his lordship tripped,” someone whispered, drawing snickers from the group.

“What an idiot,” someone else whispered back .

“Two times around the trail. Now!” Rider barked. “Last one has to run it again with this bag of rocks after training is done.”

The snickers stopped and their footsteps pounded away.

“I have to run too.”

I rolled forward onto my hands and knees so I could stand, but Lord Rider grabbed the back of my jerkin and yanked me off the ground as if I didn’t weigh anything.

I tried to glare at him, but that only made me more aware of how ruggedly beautiful he was. “They’ll accuse me of getting special treatment.”

“Talon just attacked you and I doubt you can stand let alone run or fight. You are getting special treatment.” He shoved me into Quill’s arms. “Get him to his room. You’re excused from training this afternoon as well as your half shift of stable duty after the evening meal. I don’t want to see you or hear of you leaving your room until the morning meal. Someone will bring you dinner.”