13. Sage

CHAPTER 13

Sage

I found a seat at the end of the table in the corner, as far away from the other men as I could get, and tried to look like I didn’t care… which I knew made me look more like the haughty noble they thought I was. Now that I knew this was the way things were going to go, I’d make sandwiches and eat in my room. Maybe if I stayed out of sight, they’d get bored with me.

I ate as quickly as I could and got out of the great hall long before the fifth bell rang, desperate to get away from the dirty looks and sneered comments. It was still early but there wasn’t any point in returning to my room in the barracks wing of the castle before the next bell rang, so I went out the pasture gate — avoiding the main gate and the men stationed there — and headed to the practice area where all the Black Guard novices were to meet for our afternoon training .

The Gray’s perpetual mist curled around my feet and ankles, thicker today than the previous two days, and I stood, just to the right of the gate, staring at the jagged, rocky landscape stretched before me.

Today the fog was too thick, and I couldn’t see the massive Shadow Gate towering in the distance, but I knew it was there, could somehow sense it this afternoon, with its ominous presence and threat of consuming darkness, when I hadn’t been able to sense it the previous days.

Ahead, swathed in rolls of undulating mist, was the pasture, a great patch of dark green grass kept alive by fae magic so the horses could graze, and to my right was the laundry building with whisps of smoke curling from its chimneys that melted into the fog.

Beyond lay the practice area where men on the night shift or those on lieu time and not restricted to a schedule practiced with each other or at the archery range or the tiltyard on horseback.

The men laughed and called out to each other, a boisterous reminder that they were a team, a family of sorts, something I ached for.

Before Edred had manipulated the lottery, my family had become small. Just me and Sawyer. Our parents and middle brother were dead and we were strangers in our own home, living with a stepfather who saw Sawyer as a weak, sickly stepson who he didn’t want to have as his heir, and me as a means of gaining money to fund his lavish lifestyle and a way of securing more political strength by marrying me off.

But the men at lunch had made it clear that I wasn’t one of them even though — if I’d actually been Sawyer — I’d have had no choice in staying because once someone was bound to the Black Tower, the only way to leave was through death.

And I needed to remember that I never would belong.

Eventually they’d discover the truth and that would be that. I wouldn’t be able to keep up the disguise of being a boy forever.

The pasture door swung open, startling me, and Lord Rider, the Lord Commander of the Black Guard, strode out with two rucksacks slung over his shoulder.

“You’re early,” he said, his voice edged with a chilling hardness that made my chest ache even as I fell into his stunning silver eyes, hoping to see a glimmer of the kindness I’d seen when he’d met me in the Garden the other night.

“Here.” He held out one of the bags. “Be useful.”

I took it, staggered a bit under it’s weight — what the hell is in here? Rocks? — and scrambled to catch up to him.

“You disappointed me yesterday,” he said without looking back at me as he strode to the practice area and the two jagged boulders marking the entrance to the running trail. “I’d thought, being a lord and all, you’d be better at fighting from horseback.”

And from the way everyone had laughed at me, I was sure they’d all expected me to excel at fighting from horseback, too.

Thankfully, very few of the human novices had done well at it. Even Hamelin and Ambrose who’d been soldiers before their names had been drawn, had done badly.

“You should have at least managed to hit the target with your arrow,” he said.

“Yes, my lord,” I murmured, my cheeks heating with shame that I’d instinctually fallen back on my old, feminine habits and that I’d missed the target yesterday.

I should have made that shot, but I hadn’t timed my release properly or compensated for how my body moved when the horse was cantering. I also hadn’t wanted to take a long time setting up my shot like I had during my archery test.

As a result. I’d completely missed the target. Didn’t even hit the hay and made everyone howl with laughter.

Lord Rider reached the boulders and dropped his bag. It hit the ground with a heavy thud that sounded an awful lot like rocks.

He leveled his silver glare on me, sending a shiver of unwanted desire rushing down my spine and making my thoughts stutter in shock.

Yes he was beautiful, but I wasn’t under the influence of Talon’s magic anymore. I shouldn’t have had that reaction to him.

But as much as I’d hoped that was true, there was something about him that drew my attention whether I wanted to look at him or not. Just like there was something about Lord Quill.

I heaved my gaze away from him, dropping it to my feet, then jerking it to the mouth of the running trail — because I had to stop looking at my feet!

But Talon crested the rise as I heaved my attention up and my pulse stalled completely.

Shadows he was breathtaking!

His long, white hair swished behind him with his movement, a shock of light against his all-black Guardsman uniform — a uniform that covered what I knew was a stunning, sculpted body.

The memory of him naked, droplets of water sliding over those perfect muscles, drawing my attention down down down to his large cock, swept through me, and the ache between my thighs, that I’d thought had eased, surged back to life.

Heat raced up my neck and across my face with desire and embarrassment, and I fought the urge to throw myself at him.

Great Father. I wished I’d never stumbled across him in the bath, never saw his incredible body, and never felt the power of his magic that ignited a desire I hadn’t even known I had.

I’d thought a day of him ignoring me would have been enough. I hadn’t felt this way when he’d been standing on the other side of the practice yard avoiding me.

But it was once again like it had been two days ago after I’d lost my fight with Lord Rider. Talon had turned his mesmerizing gaze on me, his eyes a captivating swirl of pink, purple, blue, and gold, and my whole body had throbbed with desire for him.

He’d known it and he’d used it to try to get me to take my shirt off to prove I wasn’t seriously injured. And while a part of me had screamed in panic, the rest of me had begged to let him touch me, satisfy me, fill me like Fantasy Man had filled me.

Talon stumbled to a halt, just before crossing the threshold from the trail to the practice yard, his attention frozen on me and my flaming-red face.

Then the mist around him billowed, rushing up his legs and around his hands and face. It grew dark, transforming from mist into shadows, and bled into his soft, pale eyes, turning them black.

“Fuck.” Lord Rider hissed and lunged for Talon as a wave of darkness exploded from Talon’s body and slammed into me.