13. Kayla

CHAPTER 13

KAYLA

I curl into my bed and groan. I haven't been this tired in a long time. I smile when I remember why I'm tired.

The smell of something burning wafts up the stairs, and I leap out of bed. Oh, God. The house is on fire or maybe it's the barn? Oh no, the horses! My mind goes into overdrive, racing through all the worst-case scenarios while I throw on the first thing I can find.

I don't have time to think about what I did last night or the fact that I woke up naked.

Racing down the stairs, I'm fully expecting the house to be on fire. I skid to a stop when I see Ash in an undershirt and gray track pants making breakfast.

I quickly scan the kitchen and the rest of the living area. Nothing is on fire. I turn back to Ash. He made breakfast? Looking outside, I see it's still dark. Why is he awake?

He smiles. "Sorry for the burned smell." He gestures to the kitchen table full of food. "The first batch didn't go to plan."

I let out an awkward laugh. "Our appliances are finicky, but, uh, thanks for this."

It takes me a minute to shift from panic mode. I slowly make my way to the table and sit down, inspecting the food. It looks delicious.

A pit forms in my stomach. What is happening? I didn't exactly think about the consequences of last night. I didn't think about the morning after.

It seems like he's trying to make sure it isn't awkward, through food. I appreciate the effort, but I don't know what it means.

I can't help but stare at him as he brings me a coffee. No one should look that good in the morning.

I feel like I'm in shock. I can't believe I allowed myself to do that. The sex was amazing, and, boy, did I need it, but I'm worried about the current predicament.

I take a sip and thank him. He somehow knows exactly how I take my coffee.

He smiles as he watches me, and I shift under his gaze. I suddenly feel self-conscious.

He sits down and gestures at the table. "Dig in."

"Ugh, thanks." Smiling, I take a bite of the eggs and make a satisfied sound. "Where did you learn how to cook?"

He eats a piece of bacon with his hand. "My mom and grandmother."

I nod. "Everything I know, I learned from my mom when I was younger, and then YouTube. Dad isn't much of a cook. I mean, he knows the basics." I shrug.

I don't know the protocol here. Do we acknowledge what happened?

My head feels foggy from the alcohol. I remember every moment we shared in bed, but it feels like a dream. It feels like it happened to someone else.

I watch as Ash piles food onto his plate.

He looks up at my bewildered expression and laughs. "Surely Jack eats like this?"

I tilt my head. "Hmm. Maybe not quite so… ravenously."

My shoulders tense. His not mentioning what happened between us is making me anxious. I'm just another notch under his belt. I knew I would be, but as reality hits, it feels like being hit by a wave of ice-cold water.

I look down at my food. He made me breakfast. I don't know what that means. I suppose men don't overthink these things. During my last relationship, with Daniel, not once did he make me breakfast.

My head pounds and my brain hurts from overthinking. For the first time in a long time, I just want to go back to bed.

I butter the pancakes, cut them up, and drown them in syrup.

Looking up, I see that Ash is studying every move I make.

He chuckles. "Want some pancake with your syrup?"

"This syrup is made locally, and I would swim laps in it if I could."

He raises an eyebrow. "I feel like that would be sticky."

I stab a piece of pancake with my fork and wave it in the air. "Yes, but also delicious."

An awkward silence lingers between us.

I hear my phone beep and go to grab it from my coat that's at the bottom of the staircase. A reminder of what happened between us.

Looking at the screen, I groan. There's a million missed calls from Izzy and a text making sure I'm alive.

Jack has sent me a message, too, saying he's happy I took Ash to The Roadhouse. Some of the guys must've sent him pictures.

I don't remember if Ash and I got a picture by ourselves. I hate that I care if we got a picture together.

I know there was a period of time when people were snapping pictures. I remember him kissing me on the cheek for one of them, but I don't remember if it was just us two. Not that it's something I should be focused on right now.

I head back into the kitchen, plonk down in my seat, and reply to Izzy.

Ash clears his throat. "Everything okay?"

I let out a dry laugh. "Yes, just Izzy checking on me. And someone must've sent Jack pictures from last night."

He nibbles on a piece of bacon. "Yeah, I think one of the guys said he was going to send it to Jack. Make him see what he's missing."

I sigh thinking about him with my dad. "I bet he'd rather be with us right now."

Ash sits back in his chair. "Last night probably would've gone differently if he was here."

I bite my lip.

Ash leans forward. "We can forget last night happened if you feel like it was a mistake. No harm, no foul."

I'm taken aback by his willingness to address the subject.

I take a sip of coffee to give myself a moment to gather my thoughts.

I didn't expect him to say that. I didn't expect him to say anything .

My chest tightens. Does he want to forget last night and that's why he's saying it? I wonder if he's just trying to push me into saying it was all a mistake.

But why would he make me breakfast, then?

I focus on my food and take small bites as I contemplate his proposal. My skin heats under Ash's stare. I can feel him watching me. I try to think of the whole situation logically, but when I look at him logic flies out the window.

I make sure my gaze stays fixed on the food, otherwise I won't be able to form a coherent thought.

I know his reputation. I know he's been with a lot of girls, so I'm not special. Anything that happens between us will just end with me being heartbroken.

Usually, I don't have a problem with keeping my guard up. The problem is our connection. I haven't felt this way with anyone before. That means it will inevitably hurt me even more when he leaves.

I have to be realistic about what I mean to Ash. I look up at him, and my heart flutters. I hate that he has this effect on me. I also don't want to look back at this moment and have regrets.

My biggest regrets have always come from letting fear hold me back. I've always worried about what other people thought of me. I was always seen as the girl who lost her mom, or Jack's little sister.

Shit. Jack.

Ash is Jack's friend. My brother specifically warned me about him. Jack is a good judge of character, and I usually trust his assessment of his friends. However, I have a bad habit of ignoring his warnings.

Perhaps we could keep it a secret?

I look over at his muscular arms and his gorgeous body. Even though I know he won't be sticking around, my own body is screaming at me to jump his bones again.

Last night was fun. A lot of fun. It's not like this happens all the time. It would be a fling, and that would be it.

Of course I'm worried about my heart, but as long as I keep my feelings in check, I should be fine.

I eye his body, suddenly very aware that a few flimsy items of clothing are the only things stopping it from happening again. Gosh, I want it to happen again.

That decides it for me.

I'll protect my heart and have a bit of fun. What's the harm?

Our eyes lock. As if in a trance, I get up and walk over to him. "I don't want to forget what happened."

His eyes scan my legs and land back on my face. "Thank God. You look so goddamn sexy in just my T-shirt."

Before I can make a smart-ass remark, his lips are on mine. Tingles spread through my body as I mount his lap. Part of me thought it was the alcohol that had caused that sensation last night, but apparently it's just my body reacting to him.

He runs his hand through my hair and down my back. I shiver and sigh. No one has ever made my body react the way he does. I soak in every delicious touch as he deepens the kiss.

I rock back and forth on his lap, and Ash groans. I lightly bite his lip. He groans louder.

"You are evil, woman."

I smile against his lips. I like that I'm having an effect on him too.

He stands up and ducks his head to kiss me. I feel small compared to him.

His kiss is soft and sweet, and it makes my stomach flip. I remind myself that it's just his game. Ash is a player. This is what he does.

We continue to kiss as he guides me to the couch. He pauses at the edge and lightly caresses my face, then leans in for another soft kiss. He deepens the kiss, and my body flushes in response.

I end up with my back on the couch. He kisses my neck, and I get goosebumps down my arms.

I can't believe I'm really here with him. He's so handsome, it's almost offensive.

The strange thing is, it seems like he's looking at me the same way — like he can't believe that he's here with me. I must be imagining it. I try to push all thoughts away and enjoy his body against mine.

It doesn't take long for our clothes to end up on the floor. Our bodies intertwine and we lose ourselves in a haze of heat and pleasure.