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CHAPTER 11

The win had been nice. The prize money had been even better since it was the largest prize pool of the season so far, which was good for her bank account. Yet, instead of being happy about all that, Aspen still felt awful about her foolish move with Kendra. She couldn’t believe she’d brought that up in front of stands filled with people.

Truthfully, she’d been really nervous about talking to Kendra again after the dinner the previous night. It hadn’t gone well, and she’d felt responsible for that. On top of that, when Aspen had returned to the hotel after that awkward dinner, she’d looked Kendra up online and had ended up on some old local newspaper’s online edition featuring an article about a local superstar on the court who’d lost her scholarships due to a heart condition.

At first, Aspen had been angry because she didn’t like the idea of a newspaper sharing information about a high school student’s medical diagnosis, but it had turned out that Kendra had been interviewed for it, so Aspen had just assumed that either Kendra’s parents or Kendra herself had okayed the article being published. Then, Aspen had gotten worried because she didn’t know how bad the condition was. The article hadn’t been specific, but Kendra had been forced to stop playing, so it couldn’t have been a small problem. That had scared Aspen more than she cared to admit, resulting in her nerves getting in her way the next day. Still, she had no excuse for bringing this stuff up when and how she had. She should’ve tried and applied some of that natural filter that most people seemed to possess, preventing them from doing stuff like that; one that Aspen had never developed.

“Aspen?” Kendra asked when she opened her front door.

“Yeah, hey. Feel free to slam the door in my face. I’ll even step into it, if you want, so that it really hits me. I’d understand.”

“I’m not going to slam the door in your face, Aspen. What’s going on, though? It’s, like, seven in the morning.”

“You weren’t up yet?” Aspen asked and looked at Kendra more carefully now, realizing that the woman was still in her sleep clothes, and she looked like she’d just gotten out of bed, with mussed hair and no makeup.

She looked amazing in sweats and an oversized T-shirt and definitely didn’t need all the makeup they made her wear for the cameras.

“No, I’m off today, so I was sleeping in. Is everything okay?”

“I realize now that I made yet another mistake by assuming everyone is up by the time I am, so I’ll apologize again and let you get back to sleep.”

“What? No, I’m up now. What’s going on, Aspen?” Kendra asked. “Come in.” She moved out of the way to let Aspen walk into her home.

“I sometimes forget that while I wake up early, not everyone else does. I was about to head out to practice with DJ and thought you’d be awake and maybe drinking coffee or something. I wanted to apologize again since I didn’t get a chance to do that when we were there this weekend.”

“You apologized, Aspen.” Kendra closed the door behind Aspen and turned to her.

“I did. But I wanted to do it again. I’m really sorry, Kendra. I didn’t know about…”

“My surgery?”

“Yeah. I get curious about things and need answers, but sometimes, I forget that people don’t want to share them.”

“It’s fine, Aspen.”

“Is it? You didn’t talk to me the rest of the weekend and asked DJ all the interview questions when you had to talk to us after we won.”

Kendra sighed and said, “Yeah, well, I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to you; that’s true.”

“I get it.” Aspen nodded. “And I’m still sorry. I read that article, and… I don’t know. I got worried. You had to quit playing sports, so it had to be a big deal, and I guess I just needed to know that you were okay today. It’s silly. I got worried. It’s your business, though. I know we don’t know each other well enough yet, but when I care about someone, I really care about them. I’m the kind of friend who will help you move, and I’ll be there in the hospital waiting with flowers when you’re having a kid or after a… surgery. I’d give you a ride home if you need it. I just… I don’t have many friends who aren’t pro beach volleyball players, and sometimes, I forget how to act, so I’m very sorry.”

“You helped me paint my guest room.”

“What?”

“You really are that kind of friend, aren’t you?”

“Oh, yeah,” she said with a little laugh. “I like to help people when I can. I stayed at the autograph booth thing they’d signed me up for, like, an hour longer than I was supposed to because there were still kids waiting, and I didn’t want to disappoint them. It’s just who I am. So, if you need me to back off, you kind of have to tell me, or I’ll offer to help you landscape your yard next.” She laughed nervously again.

“We’re okay, Aspen.”

“We are? You’re not just saying that to get me out of your house?”

“No, I’m not.” Kendra gave her a small smile. “I don’t talk about what I went through with anyone, really, so it’s not personal.”

“Not even Monica?”

“Not even her. We’d just started talking again after our breakup when I needed to have my surgery. She was there for it, but I pushed her and everyone else away after that. I’m lucky; she didn’t put up with my crap, but she did understand that I didn’t want to talk about it. I really am okay now, so you don’t need to worry. They repaired what they needed to repair, and now I go to a cardiologist twice a year to have it rechecked. I just went last month, and I’m still fine. All clear.”

“It stopped you from playing volleyball,” Aspen said softly.

“It did, yeah. I lost my scholarships when they found the problem. No college would let me play. I still could’ve played beach on my own and tried to make the tour, but doctors recommended I not play any sports because, even with beach being a fairly low-contact sport, there was a risk that if I bumped into my partner out there at just the wrong time, it could’ve caused a heart attack. My parents cried at hearing that, so I chose not to make them worry that they were going to lose their daughter, and I gave it up. I wanted to be like you.” She motioned toward Aspen with an open palm. “Kicking ass on the pro tour, making the Olympics, and representing my country. It was all I could think about growing up, but it wasn’t in the cards for me. The surgery was necessary, but even though they repaired the issue when I was twenty-five, it took me well over a year to recover, and by then, I was in my job, and I liked it enough. I couldn’t just start over with beach volleyball and have any hope of making it on the tour or to the Olympics after I hadn’t played competitively since I was eighteen. So, I kept going at my job, and now, I’m here. That’s the short version. But most people don’t even get that, so I’d appreciate it if you can keep it to yourself.”

“Of course,” Aspen said. “You don’t even have to ask. Thank you for sharing that with me. And I’m still sorry that I put you in the position where you felt like you had to.”

“I was caught off guard after the interview. I’m okay now. I just have some things I need to deal with sometimes when this comes up.”

“And yet, you’re surrounded by volleyball during the season, beach and indoor. That doesn’t bother you?”

“Would I love to be out there playing? Yes. But I’m thirty-five now, so that’s starting to go away the older I get and as people I know, like Monica, start to retire. She’s only going to play for another year or two more before she hangs up the bikini. That makes it a little easier. But still, I love the sport and being around it in any way I can.”

“Really?” Aspen said with a lifted eyebrow.

“Why are you making that face right now?”

“Because I’m going to practice. You could come with me.”

“Why would I go to your practice?”

“To be around volleyball.”

“I just did that this weekend. I’m good,” Kendra argued, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No, come on. It’ll be fun. We’re loose today; just getting time on the sand for a couple of hours. I’ll hit the gym when we’re done and take it easy the rest of the day. I’m going to watch film from this weekend. You can join me in that, too, if you want, but come to practice with me. It’s just me and DJ. We don’t have a coach right now. We’re still searching after trying out a few people and not having it work well with any of them.”

“Aspen, it’s your practice. You and DJ should–”

“If you don’t want to go, just say so. You don’t have to lie or pretend otherwise. You can just be honest. If you do want to go, though, I can give you time to get ready, and you can meet me at my car. I’ll drive. It’s going to be fun, Kendra. You can watch, or you can join us in a passing drill, if you want. Hell, you can serve us, and we can practice some defense. I don’t care.”

“You’re not…”

“Not what?” Aspen asked when Kendra didn’t finish.

“Worried about me?”

“Your heart?”

“Yeah.”

“No. Should I be? You said you–”

“No, you shouldn’t be. I can play a little without a problem. I guess I just expected you to not want me to play.”

“I trust that you know what you can and can’t do, Kendra. So, if you can’t do something, just don’t. DJ won’t say anything. And if she does, I’ll tell her to knock it off. You don’t have to tell her why.”

Kendra seemed to think it over for a moment before she ran a hand through her hair and gave Aspen a nod.

“Yeah?” Aspen checked.

“Can I have ten minutes to get dressed?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll text DJ that I’m running late. I can meet you outside.”

“You can just wait here. And, Aspen?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t show anyone my scar.”

Aspen nodded slowly.

“I showed you, and I honestly don’t know why, but I did. I don’t want anyone else to see it, though, so I’m going to wear a T-shirt. Can you and DJ not make a big deal out of that?”

“I honestly didn’t see much of it, if that makes you feel any better. It was more like I knew it was probably there because you were trying to show me something. And if DJ says anything, I’ll tell her to stop.”

“Okay. Thank you,” Kendra replied.

“But, Kendra?”

“Yeah?”

“Scars are part of us, like anything else. They’re not the whole thing, you know?”

Kendra seemed a little surprised at the comment but didn’t say anything. She did nod before she headed down the hall to her bedroom. Aspen looked around and saw the couch behind her, so she sat down to wait. She didn’t know what it meant that Kendra had shown her the scar that she showed no one else, but she felt honored, even though she had been the one to put the woman into that situation, and she shouldn’t have.

A few minutes later, Kendra came back down the hallway carrying a bag and wearing a different shirt but the same pants.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah, ready.”

“Okay. Let’s go.”

They got to the beach fifteen minutes later and found DJ already on the sand, taking off her shirt and tossing it on top of her bag.

“Hey, DJ?” Aspen spoke. “Kendra’s going to hang with us today. Is that cool?”

“You didn’t text her?” Kendra asked, sounding worried.

“Yeah, it’s fine. Hey, Kendra,” DJ greeted.

“It was a rhetorical question,” Aspen shared with Kendra. “DJ doesn’t care about much other than volleyball.”

“And chocolate,” DJ revealed. “It’s my one vice.”

“It’s one of her vices,” Aspen countered.

“Shut up.” DJ laughed. “Warm-up?”

“Yeah. Give me a second to change.” She turned to Kendra. “We usually just pepper to warm up on our chill days. Want to join us?”

“I haven’t done that in years,” Kendra said with a little laugh, referring to the common drill volleyball players used for their warm-ups, where they would find a partner, one of them would toss the ball to the other, that partner would pass back to them so they’d set it back, and then there would be a spike and, hopefully, a pass back.

“So, no?” Aspen checked.

“Can I try it, but if I’m terrible now, I’ll leave it to you two?”

“Yeah,” Aspen said.

She then went to pull off her shirt, tossed it into her bag, and looked at Kendra, catching her staring. Neither of them said anything else as Aspen looked down to pull off her leggings. Having discarded those, too, Aspen looked up to see Kendra look off at the ocean, trying to pretend like she hadn’t just been ogling Aspen’s legs.

“Come on.” Aspen chuckled. “You wearing those?” she asked, pointing to Kendra’s sweats.

“Yeah. Is that not okay?”

“It’s fine. You’re just going to get hot.”

“I wear jeans and blazers on the beach to do my job. This is fine.”

“Okay. Kick off those flip-flops and let’s go, badass,” she teased.

Kendra rolled her eyes but did as she was told. They joined DJ on the court and stood opposite her. DJ tossed the ball to Aspen, who passed it back to her. DJ then set it to Kendra, who, instead of going for a gentle spike, just passed it back. They went around like that, alternating who was at what end of the court for several minutes, and Aspen kept finding herself staring at Kendra’s smile, which seemed to get wider and wider by the minute. When it was time to change things up and do some serves, Kendra was on one side of the court, shagging balls for them, but she’d serve one herself every so often, too. She helped them run a few plays to get them moving, and when it was time to go, Aspen packed up next to DJ while Kendra stood on the court, staring out at the ocean.

“Think she had fun?” Aspen asked DJ softly.

“I do. But why is she here?”

“Because I think she needed this,” Aspen replied.

Kendra turned around and smiled at her then, and it was the happiest Aspen had ever seen her.

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