Chapter 22

Alex opened the door, and Luca couldn’t hold back his grin.

“What?” Alex said, letting Luca into his huge barn conversion home.

“You. Are you really Alex Love, or some sort of imposter? Because the Alex I’ve known for too many years would never have let his hair grow out even a millimetre, or wear—” Luca peered at his friend’s torso, “a ratty, old, and decidedly too big and out of shape T-shirt with a faded Badger’s Arse Ale logo. What have you done to my uptight, buttoned up old friend?”

Alex laughed as he led the way through to the kitchen. “Pulled out the stick that had been rammed way too far up his arse.”

A couple of minutes later, with coffees in front of them both at the large kitchen island, and perched on stools that should have been uncomfortable but were anything but, Luca met Alex’s level gaze.

“Ryan’s not here, in case you were wondering.” Alex sipped his coffee, his attention never leaving Luca.

Luca took a moment to answer. His and Ryan’s relationship was good, but the impression remained that Ryan couldn’t quite forget that he and Alex had once been much more than friends, no matter how many years ago it had been, and no matter how many years since it had been confined to a box labelled ‘The Past’. It was easier to talk to Alex alone when there was more than the business of the hotel to discuss, and today was one of those days.

“We need to talk about my position at The New House. You’ve been hounding me for some time to stay?—”

Alex’s faux look of hurt indignation didn’t fool Luca.

“I prefer the words gentle persuasion.” Alex’s expression morphed into genuine disappointment as he put his cup down. “Don’t tell me you’ve come here to formally tender your resignation. Seriously, Lu, whatever it takes to make you stay, it’s yours.”

“I’m not here to negotiate my employment package. I’m here to tell you that I’ve decided to stay.”

Luca quickly told him about the call from the consultant.

“You don’t know how happy I am, knowing you’re staying. Honestly, that’s the best news I’ve had all day.” Alex’s smile split his face in two.

“Given that it’s only 10.00am, I’m not sure that counts as much of an endorsement.”

“So why the change of heart? I’m very, very glad there’s been one, but you’ve been pushing back at me every time I’ve so much as hinted about you staying.”

Playing for time, Luca took a sip of coffee.

Alex’s question hung in the air. This was all suddenly feeling a lot more difficult than it had when he’d been making his way over. But Alex wasn’t only his employer, he his oldest friend, and Luca wanted him to have the full story.

“I’ve been seeing somebody. We agreed we’d be discreet, because neither of us wanted to be the subject of gossip, but also because he has a professional relationship with the hotel.”

“You’re seeing a member of staff? I’m surprised but I completely trust you not to compromise either yourself or the hotel.”

“No, he’s not an employee.”

Alex’s brow crinkled in confusion. “Then who is it?”

Luca turned his cup around in his hand.

Alex’s voice, filled with tenderness and warmth, cut through the sudden, heavy silence. “Lu?” he spoke softly, coaxing his friend to open up. “We’ve been friends for over half our lives. You can tell me anything, and I won’t judge you. You know I’ve done enough of that for myself.”

Luca looked up from his hands, which were worrying at his coffee cup. Catching Alex’s gaze, he felt a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth as their eyes met.

Years of friendship and love had built an unspoken understanding between them. All the times Alex had confided in him, pouring out his deepest fears and struggles, of a difficult, damaging upbringing with a cold and unloving father, and an insatiable drive to succeed and prove himself in spite of it all. And Luca, as both lover and friend, had always been there to support him without judgment or hesitation, just as Alex would be for him.

“I’ve been seeing Adrian Hardy,” Luca said quietly.

“Adrian…? You told me there was nothing going on between the two of you. That’s a bit of a turnaround — unless you weren’t telling me the truth?” The shock in Alex’s voice didn’t disguise the hurt in his eyes.

“No, I wasn’t lying to you, because nothing was happening between us. Not then. Or not properly. I certainly wasn’t seeing him, not the way I am now.” Luca felt the heat throb in his face as Alex raised a brow.

“Hmm. Well, I suppose I did say nothing was open to interpretation. Pleased though I am you’ve decided to stay, are you sure it’s for the right reason?” Alex asked quietly, a hint of hesitation in his voice.

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Because you’re so different to each other.”

Luca took a deep breath before responding. “But couldn’t I say the same about you and Ryan?”

“You could, and you’d be right. I’m sure there are more than a few people in the village who see us as a very odd couple. And do you know what? They’d be right. Yet, somehow, we make it work. God knows, he was the best thing to happen to me. No offence.”

“None taken.”

“So, is it serious?” Alex pressed, curiosity lacing his voice.

“I like to think it could be. He’s so unlike anyone I’ve been with before, but that could be a good thing. All I know is that I want to find out, because let’s be honest, the men I’ve been involved with whom I thought were ‘my type’ haven’t worked out, have they?” he joked, using air quotes.

“You mean like us? In the end, we never worked out.”

Luca sighed. “As lovers, no, because we were focused more on our careers than we were on each other. But as friends, I think we worked out very well.”

Their gazes caught and held, full of friendship and more.

Alex gave Luca’s hand a small, light squeeze. “There’s no denying Adrian’s a man you notice. A classic case of tall, dark and handsome. But it’s more than that. He’s the kind of man who turns heads when he walks into a room. There’s something almost wild about him.”

“There is,” Luca conceded. “But I’m not a dopey teenager dazzled by first love. Adrian can be difficult. I’m not blind to what he can be like.”

“So what happens now?”

“We’re still very new. We’re just seeing where it leads.”

“Hmm.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ve turned down the chance of what you yourself called your dream job. And very glad I am, too. But you wouldn’t have done that if you’re just seeing where it leads. This thing with Adrian, it’s serious. Don’t deny it, because I know you too well.”

“It’s too soon to say.” Luca looked away, no longer able to withstand Alex’s intense gaze. Like his friend said, he knew him too well.

Alex smiled, letting him off the hook. “Then maybe it’s all about his brooding good looks and the slight bad boy vibe he gives off. But you couldn’t possibly be that shallow.”

Luca laughed, and grabbed for the lifeline Alex was throwing out. “Shallowness is seriously underrated.” But the lifeline slipped from his grasp, as his laughter died on his tongue. He glanced up at Alex, who looked back at him with patience in his eyes.

“It’s more than that. He’s made me confront myself. I’ve put my career ahead of everything, to the detriment of personal relationships. Not once, not twice, but all the time. And my career’s flourished because of it. The life I’ve lived, most people would envy it and with good reason, but?—”

“The job won’t keep you warm at night.”

“You said that to me before.”

“Because it’s true.”

Luca nodded. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I never questioned myself about the road I’d taken. As far as I was concerned, every part of my life worked. But the situation with Bruno threw me. It was the first time I seriously asked if I’d done the right thing in refusing to go with him when he relocated. The choice he gave me was stark. Him, or my career. And I’d worked so bloody hard to get where I had. I couldn’t give him the answer he demanded of me and… well, you know what happened.”

“You can have both. The career and the man, as long as the pair of you are willing to give and take and work at it. I can say that because I’m living, breathing evidence for it. And you’ll make those compromises for the right man. Bruno wasn’t that man. If he had been, the two of you would have made it work. I know you won’t like to hear it, because when it finished it hurt you like hell, but I think parting ways was the best thing for you.”

Luca flinched. “Why do you say that? I thought you liked him.”

“And I did. But whether I liked him or not had nothing to do with it. When push came to shove, you made a choice, and he wasn’t it. All you’ve done over the last few months is waste energy trying to decide if you should have made a different choice. The answer’s no, because if he was who you really and truly wanted you’d have known. You’d have done everything you could to make it work, but you didn’t.”

“You sound so certain.”

“It’s because I am. When you meet the one for you, no matter how different or even unsuitable he may be, you’ll know. Your life will be tipped on its head, turned upside down and inside out. It’ll be exhilarating, but it’ll also be so bloody scary at times you’ll almost shit yourself. And you’ll just want more and more and more.

“Does Adrian make you want more? Does he make you feel that, every hour, minute and second you’re with him? You have to answer clearly and honestly, with no doubts, because it’s the most important question you’ll ever ask of yourself.”