Chapter 21

Luca looked at the email again. God alone knew how many times he’d read it, dissected it, picked it apart, forensically examined every word, syllable, letter.

The phone call had come first. He’d been on his own, the door to his office having closed just seconds before when the last of his management team had left. He’d listened, asked a few questions. His palms had grown sweaty and his heart rate had climbed when the smooth voiced woman on the other end of the line had outlined — in the broadest terms — what the package would be. The fine details, she’d said, would be ironed out later. There was room for negotiation. A lot of room. For the right candidate. The opportunity, she said, would be career defining.

He read it again — really, how many times was that, now? The woman’s words echoed in his head. Career. Defining. And she was right. It was everything he’d been working towards, the chance of a lifetime. His heart rate picked up, just as it had when he’d taken the call almost two days before. But his heart wasn’t thumping with excitement and what could be. Luca rubbed his stomach and willed the nausea away. Not sick with excitement but sick with indecision. And a decision would have to be made soon. They’d agreed to talk again. He swallowed. At 8.00am tomorrow morning. The woman had pushed for an earlier appointment to speak, but he’d pushed back and she’d demurred — an indication, perhaps, of how right a candidate he was.

“Why now? Why did this have to happen now?” He put his mobile down and walked over to the window and gazed out over the hotel grounds.

It was another beautiful day, the leaves only just beginning to turn red and gold. Autumn was coming, in a blaze of colour, to The New House Spa Hotel, to Love’s Harbour, and to the rich farmland all around. Resting his head against the cool glass he closed his eyes. He’d been — was — happy here. Leaving London and coming to run Alex’s stunning hotel had been one of the best things he’d done in a career that had been full of good things. He’d fitted into the local community, had been welcomed. In so many ways, it would be a wrench to leave. His stomach tightened again. A wrench to leave, and who he’d be leaving behind.

Adrian. Brooding, blunt, complex Adrian Hardy. Often rude, more often arrogant, always so bloody cocksure. A man he should have kept his distance from, a man whom from the very start it had been impossible for him to do so.

A man who’d made him feel alive again. A man who’d lit a fire in his heart where all there had been was cold ash. A man who made him long for the working day to be over so they could be together again. And a man who’d made him moan darkly as he’d been taken apart, before being pieced back together again.

A man he was beginning to?—

Luca’s eyes snapped open. Care for. It was too soon to think anything more. He’d plunged in too fast and too deep with Bruno, and had paid the price.

Turning away from the window, his gaze landed on his phone. The decision he made would change the course of his life. And he had less than twenty-four hours to make it.

* * *

“Sorry? What was that?”

Luca turned to Adrian, next to him on the sofa. Adrian’s head was tilted, his brows slightly raised as he waited for an answer to a question Luca hadn’t heard.

“I asked you which one you wanted to watch.” Adrian nodded to the large plasma screen TV.

“Oh…”

In the cottage, private and tucked away from the eyes of staff and guests alike, dinner had been eaten. Now, drinks sat ready on the coffee table, and a film was waiting to be watched. An easy, cozy, relaxed evening after long, long days for the both of them. But Luca felt as far from easy, cozy and relaxed as it was possible to be. He’d been tense and wound up all day, just like he’d been since the call he’d taken yesterday morning.

Adrian turned the TV off. “You’ve been quiet and distracted all evening. Are you going to tell me what’s up?”

Luca looked away, unable to hold Adrian’s intense, uncompromising gaze. Just tell him, just spit it out… but the words felt like weights that were too heavy for him to lift. Swallowing, he willed himself to answer, to tell Adrian what he needed to know.

“I received a call. Yesterday morning,” Luca began slowly. “Out of the blue. Just a few weeks ago, it would have been everything I wanted, ticked every box…” He glanced up at Adrian, who sat statue still, watching intently. “The call was from a head hunter who deals with top end appointments. Senior management levels in the hospitality industry, all over the world.” He stopped, and licked lips that felt like strips of dried out leather. “There’s an opening that’s come up they think I’d be perfect for. And I would be, I know it. It’s an incredible opportunity, and it’d take my career to the next level and beyond.”

Adrian’s expression didn’t change as he waited for Luca to continue. Silence bore down on them, heavy and thick, and Luca waded in, slow and sluggish.

“They want me to apply for the position. From what I can tell it’d just be a formality,” he added.

Adrian raised one eyebrow and leant back against the sofa cushions. “And you’re considering it?”

“Yes.” The word tore at his throat. “I haven’t made a decision yet, but yes, I am. Because I have to. You do see that, don’t you?

Adrian said nothing and all Luca could hear was the blood rushing through his veins and the erratic thud of his heart.

When Adrian spoke, it was slow and considered, each and every word carefully weighed. “You said being here was never a permanent option for you.”

“I know I did.” But it could be, it could be if he let it.

“And now you have the offer of a lifetime. Isn’t it what you’ve been chasing?”

“Yes. If—if I follow this up.” Luca rubbed his hands down his face. He felt tired, suddenly, the decision he had to make pressing down on him. “I’ve loved being here, more than you could ever know…”

“But?” Adrian prompted when Luca trailed off.

“But this is the opportunity I’ve been working towards for god knows how long — which is now being presented to me on a plate,” Luca admitted quietly.

“What happens to us if you take this job?” Adrian’s voice, low and tense, his words as direct as his gaze.

Luca forced himself not to shy away. “The thought of leaving here…”

“Where’s the job?”

Luca kept his gaze locked on Adrian’s. “Australia.”

“Oh.” The word exploded from Adrian’s lips, as surprise turned to shock, but just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, leaving Adrian’s expression as unreadable as ever.

Was that it? Oh?

“For god’s sake, Adrian.” The words burst from him, relieving some of the pressure that had been building up over the past two days. “I’ve just told you I could, just possibly, be upping sticks and moving to the other side of the world, and all you can do is say oh. Do you even care what I do?” Luca hated the wobble that crept into his voice, but more than that, he hated that he couldn’t read the man who sat just inches from him, the man who was making the decision he had to make so damn hard.

“Of course I fucking do.” Adrian jumped up from the sofa, and thrust his fingers through his hair, his unreadable, still expression shattering like glass. “How can you think I don’t care what you do, or where you go?”

Luca’s chest tightened as Adrian glared down at him. Adrian’s lips were pushed into a thin line, tightening his jaw, and he was breathing heavily through his nose. His expression was one of pure anger, radiant with fury. Luca’s heart tripped as he locked eyes with Adrian. No, not angry, not furious, but brimming with upset and turmoil.

Adrian dropped down next to him, the fire that had exploded from him just as quickly doused. “Of course I care, and more than you know,” he whispered as he placed his hands either side of Luca’s face.

Luca leant into Adrian’s warm palms, feeling the press of Adrian’s work worn hands, the little callouses, the roughness of his skin. Hands that could be as gentle as they could be aggressive and demanding, hands that had travelled his body and had made him see stars. Hands that had never held him quite like they were holding him now.

“I know what I want you to do, but this isn’t my decision,” Adrian said quietly, as he brushed his thumbs across Luca’s cheeks.

“I want you to say it. I have to hear what it is you want.”

Luca gazed up into Adrian’s eyes. Eyes he’d seen blazing with fury, with heat, with stripped down, naked lust. Eyes he’d seen filled with laughter. Eyes he’d seen wide and full of wonder, glazing at the point of release. But as Adrian continued to gaze down at him, there was something new, something different, and Luca’s heart thudded, fast and erratic as his mind groped for what it might be.

“I want you to stay,” Adrian said quietly. “I don’t want you to go to Australia. I don’t want you to go to London, or even the next damn village in the valley. For god’s sake, Luca, I want you to stay. Because my life is better with you in it. I’m better for you being in it. I reckon I’ve kind of got used to you being around, and I’d like you to stay around for a whole lot longer.”

“You’ve got used to me? Like an old pair of slippers you mean?” Luca couldn’t keep the smile out of his voice, and when Adrian smiled, slow and soft, a light flicked on in Luca’s heart.

“Your words, babe, not mine.”

Babe… The endearment, never uttered before, dug deep inside Luca’s chest, pushing out all the air and making it hard to breathe.

Slowly, gently, almost with reverence, Adrian kissed him, little more than the softest of brushes across his lips, before Adrian pressed his forehead to his.

“I’m difficult. I don’t compromise, or not well. I see the world in black and white. I’m not an easy man to be with, god knows I’ve got the scars to prove it. I’m not blind to the kind of man I am, but it’s who I am. If you stay with me that’s the whole package. Is what I am worth you giving up your dream job for?”

Adrian’s voice was gravelly and unsteady; he’d opened himself up in a way that Luca hadn’t experienced before, not even when undone with need and want and desire. Luca closed his eyes, to stop the welling tears that threatened to fall.

“I don’t want to go,” he said, his voice trembling. “Everything tells me I should, because this is what I’ve been working towards for all these years. Everything is telling me to say yes, except for what’s in here.” Luca eased out of Adrian’s hold, and pressed his hand to his chest. “I want to stay here, Adrian. I want to stay here. With you.”

Luca sucked in a shuddering breath. He’d said them, the words he’d thought he’d never say to a man again. He’d said them to this awkward, frustrating, difficult man. He’d said them, and meant every single one.

“You do? You’re sure?”

Luca’s heart jumped at the hope shining in Adrian’s eyes. Pushing himself to his feet, he held out his hand. “Let’s go upstairs, where I can show you exactly how sure I am.”