Chapter 24

Orpheus was pacing. It was a nasty habit, one that had driven his staff to fury for years. He always managed to start kicking furniture and ripping rugs whenever he got to pacing. Like everything that Orpheus touched, he lost control of his emotions and eventually ruined it in a false display of ownership. The issue Orpheus was now facing was that he had tried to own nature itself; he had tried to wrestle Eurydice, a nymph and one of Pan”s chosen, into a place of submission. There was no possessing the wild. It could and would not be contained. Gaia herself would waken from the earth if anyone was ever successful.

So Orpheus paced.

He hadn”t returned to his own household. Every surface was covered in dead vines and thorns, and the mess was proving impossible to clean up. Every time someone tried to clear out some of the foliage, the thorns specifically, they would magically reappear. They would never regrow—nothing was growing in Orpheus”s house. They would simply reappear. Eurydice”s curse was proving true; it was not an exaggeration that everything was affected by her incantation.

Even when the serving staff were bringing in food, fresh produce died as soon as it crossed the threshold. No one really needed to eat in the Underworld for survival, but it was still regularly a part of everyone”s routine for the comfort and familiarity of it. Now, Orpheus was finding no solace in his own home. The garden was a charred mess and looked as though a wildfire had ripped through it. Although Eurydice”s anger could be compared to a wildfire, it was just as destructive and obliterated everything in its wake.

”Orpheus, sit down and have a glass of wine,” Perseus snapped, rolling his eyes. He had been less than sympathetic to Orpheus”s plight; his main concern had been the effect on both his and Orpheus”s reputation.

”I will have her again!” Orpheus growled, pushing the golden hair off his forehead. His eyes were red, and there were bags under his eyes. He hadn”t slept since Eurydice left, and it was beginning to show on his face and in his temperament. He was possessed with a nearly supernatural obsession for revenge. Orpheus had lost the support of his patron, his mortal life, and now his muse. He”d already lost Eurydice once, and this time around, people wouldn”t be sympathetic about it. When he”d returned to the mortal world without Eurydice, it only pushed Orpheus”s fame higher. There was nothing the Greek people loved more than a tragedy. Now the citizens of the Underworld wouldn”t be as forgiving.

Everything hinged on getting her back. Orpheus”s thoughts shifted to a dark, angry place, which was a more ominous side effect of Apollo”s influence.

”I”m sure you will,” Perseus rolled his eyes, ”but drink something to take the edge off because you”re going to make a hole in my floors.”

Orpheus grunted angrily in return, plopping himself down on one of the chaise lounges. He snapped his fingers, and a serving girl practically leaped to hand him a glass of wine.

”You”re being no help,” Orpheus snapped angrily, gulping down half of his wine in one sip. ”If you aren”t going to contribute anything other than sarcasm, I”d rather drink alone.”

”You”re in my house,” Perseus reminded him with a sneer. ”Yours is covered in thorns because you couldn”t keep you woman under control.”

”Fuck you,” Orpheus hissed, nearly spilling the rest of his goblet. ”You try marrying a muse and see what that gets you.”

”No, thank you. I decided to eliminate the women in my life that were threats.”

”I never understood that.” Orpheus rolled his eyes. ”I”m not sure how a woman hiding in a cave was a threat to you. Unless you”re that fragile.”

”Watch it,” Perseus growled. He jumped to his feet and stalked over to where Orpheus was sitting, jabbing his finger in Orpheus”s face. Orpheus dropped his cup, sending a crimson red stain splattering across the pristine floors. Orpheus was on his feet in a second, responding by shoving Perseus”s shoulders. Perseus went sprawling, landing in the puddle of spilled wine.

”All right, cut it out!” Perseus snapped, holding his hands up in mock surrender. Orpheus and Perseus were already breathing hard, both of them frustrated and already fairly well imbibed for the time of day. ”I”m not your enemy here. I”m only saying that drinking in my house and moping aren”t going to do anything. Why don”t you just let her go? She”s one woman, for fuck”s sake.” Perseus rolled his eyes and pushed himself up, wiping at some of the wine on his tunic.

”I wish I could,” Orpheus grumbled, plopping back down on the chaise rather unceremoniously. ”You know that my reputation wouldn”t take it well. Everyone is expecting me to be with Eurydice now that we”re both in the Underworld.”

”All right.” Perseus crossed his arms across his chest, trailing his thumb across his lip as he began to think. ”So you need her to play house with you. You don”t actually have to be in a relationship, but for all intents and purposes, you need people to assume that you are. You need her complicit.”

”Yes, alive would be helpful.” Orpheus grumbled again, motioning for the serving girl to bring them another round of wine. ”I”m so glad that you”re here to help.”

”Hear me out,” Perseus groaned. ”No wonder Eurydice left you. You can”t listen for shit. I”m starting at the beginning. It”s called making a plan. You should try it,” Orpheus said nothing but handed Perseus a glass of wine apologetically, motioning for him to go on.

”We know that murder and maiming are out of the question if we need her alive and willing to play house with you. So the question becomes—how do we get Eurydice to go along as your wife?”

”Blackmail, I”d assume is the answer you”re looking for.” Orpheus took another sip of his wine and began pacing again, except this time Perseus joined in. They began mulling over all of the ways they could try to get Eurydice in line, but every idea came up short when dealing with the premise of an enraged muse and nymph.

”What does she love? Flowers, the fucking trees?” Orpheus quipped frustratingly. ”We can”t exactly set a field of flowers on fire and expect her to pretend to be my wife for all eternity.”

Orpheus and Perseus went back and forth long into the night. They practically held their own caucus, debating every which way they could try and get Eurydice under their thumb. The wine continued to flow as they ate and drank their way through their scheming, until finally, they were both half-collapsed on the floor in the early hours of dawn.

Orpheus was propped up by the leg of a chair, and Perseus was lying on the ground. The early rays of dawn were starting to creep into the great hall, and the conniving duo was nowhere closer to hatching any sort of scheme that would help them get Eurydice under Orpheus”s control.

”If only we could call on H-Hermes,” Orpheus hiccuped. ”The trickster would know of a way or two to sort this out.”

”Can we not call on him? There”s nothing keeping us from petitioning the gods. If he runs his mouth about it, we can always pass it off as a trick of Hermes”s.” Perseus picked his head up from the floor, his eyes brightening as he thought of asking a god for assistance.

”Hermes won”t work.” Orpheus shook his head. ”Eurydice is one of Pan”s creatures. Hermes won”t do anything that could or would affect his son. He”s sneaky, but he has loyalties.” Perseus made a discontented sigh and lay back down on the floor.

”Well, then I don”t know. Apollo is gone, and he is the only one who ever showed you favor.”

”Oh, blame me for that,” Orpheus snapped. ”If you want to start talking about ushering in the gods’ favor, why don”t we call Zeus? Or are you no longer his favorite bastard hero?”

Orpheus rolled his eyes and propped his head up a little higher, just so he could finish off his wine. He still managed to spill some, staining the front of his tunic and coloring his lips dark purple. He looked like a disgruntled child who”d gotten into a grape harvest and spent the afternoon gorging themselves on sweet grapes; it was hardly the polished, beautiful picture of the infamous poet people had come to expect.

Perseus hauled himself up to a sitting position, and his eyes widened. He snapped his fingers and pointed towards Orpheus.

”Don”t bring me into this if you”re not able to handle the heat. I”m the one who has spent my evening trying to come up with ways for you to keep your wayward wife under your thumb. Zeus won”t mess with matters of the Underworld; we know that.”

”Well, by that logic, Pan shouldn”t even be able to visit here either,” Orpheus deadpanned.

As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he sat up a little straighter and wiped the wine from his mouth.

”Pan shouldn”t be able to visit here,” Orpheus repeated himself, his voice getting louder. ”Pan shouldn”t be able to visit here!”

”You said that already.” Perseus looked bored. ”Besides, didn”t Hades already grant Pan permission permanently to visit here because the forests were his territory?”

”He most certainly did,” Orpheus”s sly smile started growing across his face, ”because of a loophole. It would be a shame if someone exploited the same logic for their own benefit.”

”What are you saying?” Perseus picked his head up as his attention started to pique. ”You want to go visit the mortal realm?”

”No.” Orpheus shook his head. ”However, what would happen if all the gods were able to come and go between the Underworld and the mortal world as they pleased? What if Demeter was able to come down here and visit the fields, the forests, anywhere the plants grow like Pan is allowed to?”

Perseus”s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open. ”Demeter would never leave. She”d be in the Underworld all the time to keep an eye on Persephone.”

”Which would…” Orpheus encouraged Perseus to finish.

”Which would infuriate Hades. He”d do anything to keep that from happening and to protect his wife from her mother. There”s no love lost between Persephone and Demeter.”

”Who do you think he”d choose then? Pan or Persephone, his wife?” Orpheus practically clapped his hands together in glee. Orpheus and Perseus both stood to their feet.

”Hades would choose his wife, no questions asked. He”d revoke the special privileges that he”s given Pan because he”d never want Demeter looming around in the Underworld that often!”

”Exactly!” Orpheus crowed in victory, and they nearly chipped their cups slamming them together in a toast. ”With Pan forced out of the Underworld, Eurydice won”t have a friend left. She”ll have the nymphs and a goddess or two, surely, but her distraction will be gone.”

”Do you think she”d come right back to you if she knew you were responsible for getting Pan exiled from the Underworld?” Perseus questioned.

”She can never know,” Orpheus agreed. ”It”s not a perfect plan. I”ll have to lay it on thick once Pan is banished and go to her to offer support.”

”It”s risky.” Perseus shrugged. He walked over to an end table and poured himself another glass. Orpheus extended his hand out in a silent question, and Perseus refilled his glass too.

”It is, but it”s the best plan we got. Murder and maiming aren”t viable options, as we established, which means eliminating the competition is the next best thing.” Orpheus chewed on his lip, starting to pace back and forth, although his steps were noticeably wobblier after hours of consumption.

”It also relies on you being charming to a weeping Eurydice, who will have been ripped apart by losing another ”love of her life.”” Perseus pointed out.

Orpheus was not immune to the flaws in his plan; it was fallible from the start, as there was no guarantee Demeter would help them either. There was, however, a very good chance that she would for the opportunity to get unfettered access to the Underworld.

”If I don”t manage to get Eurydice under my thumb,” Orpheus grunted, ”everything is lost for me anyway. Do you have any other ideas?”

”No.” Perseus shrugged, tipping the last of his cup”s remnants into his mouth.

”Well then,” Orpheus clapped his hands together and looked out at the rising sun, ”let”s try and summon a goddess.”