Chapter 23

Eurydice woke up to the sound of arguing. A sense of fear and panic immediately started coursing through her veins. For a horrible second, she thought she was back in Orpheus”s house, and there was some brawl happening outside. It took a few precious minutes for her to identify the voices; the screaming was coming from the courtyard outside. She picked up on Hecate”s voice first, louder than all the rest.

”You have not been given a formal invitation or permission to enter this house,” Hecate”s voice dropped to a lower register and echoed, ”which means you will die before the walls fall, you insolent fool.”

Eurydice threw the blanket back and nearly fell getting out of bed, rushing to re-tie her chiton and go see what all of the commotion was about.

Of all the fools in the Underworld, who would attempt something so brazen as breaking into Hecate”s house?Eurydice got her answer when a male”s voice began shouting in response.

”Then I die! I”ll go up against all the witchcraft in the world and every power of hell,” the voice cracked, ”but let me speak to her. I beg of you!”

Pan.

Eurydice froze on the steps, her heart leaping up into her throat. Pan was outside and was going toe to toe with Hecate”s wrath in order to see her. Eurydice was nearly lightheaded with the connotations of what that might mean. She brought her hand to her chest and forced herself to breathe, taking deep breaths until she had regained some of her composure. Not all of it, but enough to head outside and to stop feeling as though she was going to pass out.

Hecate”s dogs picked their heads up in curiosity as Eurydice ran past them, only pausing when she poked her head out of the doorway. Pan was standing right outside of Hecate”s courtyard, down on his knees. He looked as distressed as Eurydice had ever seen him, and it made her stomach drop. He was dressed as a man, but she could see his horns nestled atop his mess of curls. His hair was all tangled, and Eurydice wondered if he had been running his hands through it excessively. His eyes were red-rimmed, and his cheeks were wet. She heard his voice hitch as he pleaded with Hecate.

The goddess herself looked like immovable stone. She was standing tall, her back straight and shoulders squared. An opaque cloud of red magic swirled around her feet like an attack dog, waiting to jump out at a moment”s notice. Hecate”s auburn hair had been tied back in elaborate braids, and the snakes on her golden arm bands undulated back and forth. In short, she looked furious, and even Eurydice was suddenly worried about anything she may have ever done to piss off the goddess. She was a terrifying sight to behold.

”Stunning, isn”t she?” A man”s voice popped up from behind her, making Eurydice gasp sharply. She spun around and got her first look at the man who must have been Hecate”s consort—Ae?tes, the immortal crown prince who had been the source of the myth of the golden fleece. He shared some characteristics with Pan, from curly hair to tanned skin, except he was smiling when he stared at Hecate, even in her furious and awe-inspiring state.

”Excuse me?” Eurydice whispered, unsure of what to do.

”Hecate won”t let anything come in between her and a woman she”s protecting.” Ae?tes nodded towards the sight unfolding in the courtyard. ”If you don”t want Pan to be strung up by his horns and kicked off to the titans, I suggest you intervene.” Ae?tes went back to staring at Hecate like a besotted teenager. Eurydice took his words to heart, suddenly springing into action. She ran out into the courtyard, her arms raised as she called out to Pan.

”Pan!” she shrieked. ”Hecate, Hecate, it”s fine. It”s okay. I”ll speak with him.” Eurydice was surprisingly breathless; it wasn”t the physical exhaustion but the emotional one that was finally catching up with her.

Pan”s face transformed when he saw Eurydice, and his tears started falling fresh.

”Eurydice,” he practically sobbed the word out, ”I needed to see you. I wanted to tell you, I swear...” Pan didn”t rise from his knees, simply angling himself towards Eurydice and clutching his hands together as if he was praying. Normally, Eurydice might have found the position pathetic, but there was something about the devotion on Pan”s face that made her heart soften further.

”Eurydice, are you sure?” Hecate”s voice gentled as she looked between the two of them.

”Yes.” Eurydice didn”t look at Hecate but kept her eyes on Pan, muttering the affirmation without any hesitation.

Hecate simply nodded, all her fury dissipating in a matter of seconds. Her red magic ebbed away, and the tone of her voice lightened; even some of the red glow to Hecate”s eyes disappeared. She readjusted the shoulder of her tunic and gave a short nod to Pan.

”I”ll leave you both alone then. Eurydice, feel free to use the house if you need to.” Hecate turned around and beckoned for Ae?tes, who had been standing in the courtyard. He practically ran to her side, kissing her cheek and interlocking his fingers with hers. Hecate gave him a smile so gentle, Eurydice suddenly got the impression she was intruding.

”If you change your mind,” Hecate looked at Eurydice, ”just tell the house. It”ll remove anyone unwanted from the premises.” Eurydice could only nod, and Hecate and Ae?tes exited the courtyard, disappearing and leaving Pan and Eurydice with the house to themselves.

An agonizingly long minute passed; Eurydice and Pan weren”t able to say anything. Pan finally pushed himself up to his feet, holding his hands out to Eurydice.

”I want to talk to you, only for a minute, if you”ll let me. Please.” His voice was pleading, and Eurydice couldn”t help herself from tearing up. She wanted to be with him just as badly, but so much had happened—so much had been revealed to her. She didn”t know what was possible for the two of them.

”Come inside,” Eurydice said simply, turning around and leading the way inside of the house. It felt wrong, ushering into Hecate”s home, but Hecate had given her the permission to do so.

A million questions raced through Eurydice”s head, and she tried to push them all aside. Pan followed her without a word, without any signs of hesitation. Eurydice didn”t know where to take Orpheus in Hecate”s house, so she settled on bringing him upstairs to the guest room. She didn”t anticipate what the sight would do to her when Pan stopped at the threshold. He seemed to sense it was her space, at least for the meantime, and he leaned against the doorjamb.

Eurydice”s heart nearly seized at the sight of him. Even with everything that had happened to her in the past thirty-six hours, she couldn”t forget the feeling of Pan between her thighs.

”Eurydice...” Pan started, but Eurydice interrupted him.

”I don”t want to hear it. I can”t. I can”t right now, Pan. It”s not that I don”t want to. I just... There”s been so many promises…” Eurydice trailed off.

The atmosphere between them shifted, the air growing thick and heavy simultaneously with heartbreak and arousal. Eurydice dragged her eyes down Pan”s long frame, so broad he nearly blocked out the light from the hallway.

”If you don”t want to talk,” Pan murmured softly, ”what do you want me to do?” His voice was perfectly neutral. Even at a moment like this, he was holding it together and appearing calm for her, even if there was nothing serene about the atmosphere around them.

Eurydice sat on the edge of the bed, her breath catching in her lungs. ”I don”t know.” Her mouth dropped open, and she watched the moment Pan”s eyes lit up with his arousal. He was holding onto the door with a near white-knuckle grip.

”You”ve had enough promises.” Pan took one step inside the bedroom. Eurydice”s breath hitched. ”You”ve heard enough sweet words.” One more step. Eurydice”s pulse skyrocketed. ”You have to tell me what you want, my wild thing.”

Pan dropped to his knees effortlessly, sinking down between Eurydice”s legs. On his knees, he was still eye level with her and met her gaze with a matched intensity that lit her up from the inside out.

Eurydice leaned forward, careful to not let a single lock of hair or scrap of her garment touch Pan”s skin as she whispered in his ear.

”Speak to me only the way you can.” Eurydice was barely breathing. ”Use the language of the trees, Pan, of the wild. Give me something that no one else can.”

Pan exploded.

Before she could even blink, Pan”s hands wrapped around Eurydice”s waist as he tossed her onto the bed. He crawled up her body until he was suspended above her, pinning her underneath him. It reduced Eurydice”s senses until all she could perceive was the heat rolling off Pan”s body, the coarse feeling of his rough, hairy skin brushing up against hers. Eurydice”s body reacted before her brain did, and she found herself throwing her arms around Pan”s back and shifting her hips upward to feel more of him.

”Fuck, Eurydice,” Pan grunted, tucking his head in between her shoulder and neck. He inhaled deeply, tracing one hand up her side until he started pulling off her chiton. ”You have no idea what you do to me. You”ve driven me to madness for five hundred years. Do you understand that?”

He punctuated his words with a roll of his hips. Eurydice gasped and dug her nails into Pan”s back when his hard cock brushed against her entrance, only thin layers of fabric separating them.

”You”re Pan,” Eurydice sighed on an exhale, continuing to rock her hips upward in time with Pan”s movements. ”You”ve always been mad.”

Pan supported his weight on one elbow and pulled at the knot on Eurydice”s shoulder, wrenching the fabric away from her body. He followed suit, and for a few desperate moments there was nothing but the awkward rearranging of limbs and discarding of clothing. Pan and Eurydice were both sweating and frantic, as confused as they”d ever been before and searching for a clarity they didn”t find but were willing to burn their lives apart in the process. Nothing else mattered in those rushed, cramped movements, desperate to get closer to one another to feel something, anything, to make the raging aches in their hearts go away.

”I”ve always been mad because of you,” Pan grunted. He grabbed one of the cushions from behind Eurydice”s head and tucked it under her back. It was a subtle gesture, simultaneously arousing Eurydice further and making her want to cry harder. Even in this rush to feel one another, to lose sight of everything happening for a few moments of connection, Pan was thinking of her, always.

Eurydice was nearly going out of her mind, feeling her innermost walls clenching around nothing and practically begging to feel Pan inside of her.

”Please,” she whimpered, her eyes shuttering closed, ”don”t say another word, Pan. I need you inside of me.”

“Whatever my wild thing wants,” Pan grunted in response. He grabbed Eurydice”s thigh and wrapped her leg around his waist, positioning himself right at her entrance. Eurydice moaned again, and before she could open her mouth to demand he move, Pan thrust forward. Eurydice”s mouth dropped open in a silent scream, and she tightened her grip on him, the blood in her veins turning to liquid fire. She relished in the stretch of him, prepared to savor the blur of pleasure and pain as her body wept to accommodate him.

Pan was panting heavily in Eurydice”s ear, an incoherent babble of moans and a mess of whimpers as he refused to move until Eurydice”s hands tangled in her curls.

”Please,” she begged, ”move, god, Pan, give it to me.”

Pan only grunted in response before pulling backward and thrusting into her again. Eurydice gasped as he got a little farther, realizing that she hadn”t taken him all the way the first time.

”Fuck.” Eurydice pulled Pan”s hair. ”I don”t know if I...”

”You can take it,” Pan affirmed. He spoke to her in a low and soothing tone although his breath was still coming in choppy pants as he struggled to keep his composure. ”I know you can take all of me, my love.”

His sweet endearments mixed with the declarations he was making practically sent Eurydice over the edge right there. Pan started rocking his hips in shallow motions, working the rest of his length inside of her until finally he settled his hips against hers. Eurydice squeezed his leg tighter around Pan”s waist. She knew the moment he was fully seated inside of her that she”d be ruined for anyone else.

”Move,” Eurydice breathed. ”Move!”

“That”s my wild one,” Pan exhaled, pressing a series of kisses from Eurydice”s neck to her forehead. He picked up the pace again and started rolling his hips against hers with shocking dexterity, the base of his cock brushing against her clit as he ground against her with every thrust.

”Fuck!” Eurydice gasped, moving her hands from Pan”s curls to his horns and holding on tightly. He was working her body over like he”d already done this a thousand times before, somehow seemingly detecting what every sigh and hitch of her breath meant.

”You feel like heaven,” Pan breathed, still keeping his perfect pace. ”Who would”ve thought I”d have found heaven waiting for me past the gates of hell?”

”P-Pan.” Eurydice felt the tears start to fall down her cheeks. She couldn”t handle him talking this way to her, giving her everything she”d realized she”d always wanted to hear from his mouth, not Orpheus”s.

”Come for me,” Pan insisted, one of his hands finding her clit. ”I need to see it. I need to feel it, Eurydice, to feel how you respond to me. My love, my Eurydice.”

”Oh, gods, Pan...” Eurydice”s world was exploding around her, pieces of who she thought she was, her past and her future, scattered throughout the room.

”Now,” Pan demanded with a sharp thrust of his hips, and Eurydice was coming. Her voice went out as her head fell back, and she screamed, her entire existence being reduced down to the overwhelming sensation of lightning and bliss pounding through her veins. Pan came with a roar, one hand grabbing out for the wooden frame of the bed and shaking the entire bed. Eurydice felt him release inside of her, and she knew for better or for worse, there would only ever be Pan for her.

Pan collapsed on the bed beside Eurydice, and neither of them said a word as they breathed through the aftershocks. Eurydice could still feel her thighs shaking. Pan seemed to notice that, and he placed one hand on her leg, gently rubbing it in a soothing motion. It did nothing to stop her body”s tremors, but Pan seemed to only want to remind himself she was real. That had happened. She was beside him.

Eurydice knew she was going to ruin the moment, but she couldn”t wait another second, keeping them both in the dark about where they would move forward after this.

”I don”t know what I”m ready for,” Eurydice blurted, fighting the urge to hide her face in her hands. She couldn”t bear to look at Pan”s face. ”I don”t know if I can be with you, long term. There”s just been so much...”

”Stop,” Pan commanded gently. He leaned over Eurydice and kissed her gently, as though he was slowly savoring every last second he had with her. ”I understand.”

Eurydice watched, flabbergasted, as Pan stood up and quickly dressed himself, slipping towards the door without another word.

”Wait!” Eurydice sat up, calling out to him before he could disappear. She started to cry, cursing the tears that ran down her cheeks. ”I love you, Pan.”

”I know.” He smiled gently at her, his eyes wet and full of pain. ”I love you too. When that is enough, you know where to find me.”

Pan had disappeared down the stairs and out of Hecate”s house before Eurydice even fully comprehended what he said.