17. Chapter 17

Chapter seventeen

Penn

“So, how’d it go?” Dallas asks me as we stand side-by-side on the deck, surveying the backyard at my mom’s house while Lilly goes crazy jumping up and down every time my mom makes the volcano explode.

“Good. I told her everything I needed to. We agreed to move forward and just be happy.”

Dallas pats me on the shoulder. “Good for you. So, what happens now?”

“She has the benefit next weekend, so I know her focus is on that. But once that’s behind her, I’m going to talk to her about moving in together. I want to marry her, Dallas. I want a fucking life with her that I never thought I’d ever have.”

“See? Love makes you realize what’s important really fucking quick.”

I nod. “Yeah, I get it now. And I’m sorry I gave you shit about that.”

He shoves me playfully. “It’s okay. I knew you’d get there eventually.”

“No thanks to your nagging. ”

“Hey, I think my nagging helped, actually.” I arch a brow at him. “If I hadn’t kept bugging you about it, do you think you would have actually made a move?”

I don’t want to give him the complete satisfaction of knowing that his pep talk at the restaurant when Dick came in is what forced me to make a fucking decision. But I have to at least throw him a bone.

“It may have helped.”

His smile is smug. “That’s what I thought.” He wraps an arm around my neck and pulls me into a chokehold against his chest. “Just don’t forget that your older brother will always be smarter than you, all right?”

Struggling to break free, I push against him, finally managing to escape his grip. “Fuck you.”

“Oh! Uncle Penn said a bad word!” Lilly calls from the grass below us.

“Uncle Penn, you’d better watch your mouth now,” Dallas chides beside me. “Especially if you plan on taking on a fatherly role with those kids.”

His comment should make me sweat, but all it does is renew the purpose I feel in my veins—the purpose I have to love those kids like my own and love Astrid the way I’ve been wanting to for years.

***

By the time we finished dinner and finally left, I could tell the kids were exhausted and Astrid was spent too. I drove them all back home since we came together in my truck .

My siblings now know that Astrid and I are together. My mother looked up at me with tears in her eyes several times, pleased that I’m making choices in my life that make me happy.

And the woman beside me has been smiling all night, even though I haven’t been able to show her the affection that I wanted to because of the kids.

All in due time.

I help her and the kids take their things inside, but don’t plan on staying. Tomorrow’s a school day, the kids need to get to sleep, and I know Astrid needs to as well.

I’m standing by the front door, waiting for her to get Bentley and Lilly settled and ready for showers before I head out.

“You’re still here?” she asks when she sees me standing with my hands tucked into my jean pockets.

“Yeah. I wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye properly.” Reaching out for her, I pull her into my chest by her waist and plant a kiss on her lips. “It’s going to be weird not sleeping next to you.”

“Well, you can come by tomorrow and cuddle me for a while.” She smiles up at me.

“What if I stopped by the bakery and gave you an orgasm in the middle of the day?” Her smile drops and suddenly the confidence I felt earlier dissipates. “What? You don’t like that idea?”

“No, I do. I was just thinking…” Fuck. Astrid thinking is not necessarily a good thing. “I know you said you wanted to tell everyone, but could we please wait until after the benefit?”

“Okay…”

She brushes her hair back. “I just know that this week is going to be insane, and we haven’t even talked to the kids yet.” She drops her voice. “I don’t want them to find out from someone else with the way people talk in this town, you know? ”

Fuck. I didn’t think about that.

But I want to kiss her, hold her, let it be known that this woman owns me.

You can, Penn. Hell, you’ve waited this long, what’s a few more days?

“Makes sense,” I say as convincingly as I can. Disappointment rests in my gut and I’m trying to hide it, but I don’t think I’m doing a very good job.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” She cups the side of my face, staring up at me.

“Yeah, babe. It’s fine. But you best believe that at that benefit, my hands will be all over you so everyone in that room knows who you belong to.”

Her lips spread in a smile that makes me feel slightly less irritated. “That I am totally on board with.” She looks over her shoulder to make sure we’re still alone, and then kisses me deeply before I open the front door and leave a piece of my heart behind.

Everything is falling into place. I’m happier than I ever thought I could be.

I should have known that something was bound to fuck it all up.

***

“Oh, look. It’s Mr. Well-Rested,” Parker greets me as I walk into Catch & Release on Thursday for lunch. He and Grady look over their shoulders as I find my stool and Dallas slides me my burger.

“Yeah, those bags under your eyes are a lot smaller. It must have been your mini-vacation.” Grady grins as he pops a fry in his mouth.

I cup my hand around my ear. “Do I detect a hint of jealousy from both of you?” I nod my head. “Yup, I think I do. ”

Dallas scoffs behind the bar as he crosses his arms and his legs, leaning against the counter behind him. “I think I hear it too.”

Parker rolls his eyes and Grady goes back to eating. “So, you had a good trip then?” Grady asks. Parker already knows my trip was worthwhile because he was at my mom’s house Sunday night. But he’s playing it off in front of Grady, which I appreciate. Astrid insisted that we would tell him together after the benefit. I figured he’d be there too, but he has other plans, I guess.

“I did. The mountains are gorgeous in the winter, but fucking cold.”

“I can imagine. I’m just ready for the warmer weather,” Grady adds. “I got a rather interesting phone call yesterday, by the way.”

“From whom?” I ask before taking a bite of my burger.

“The new baseball coach at Carrington Cove High School.” Grady wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Coach Larson retired and this new guy thought that by reaching out to me directly, he’d get a different answer than the one I gave Larson.”

Parker shakes his head. “I don’t get it. Why don’t you want to help coach the team? You could help shape the next prodigy.”

Grady grumbles, “I’m busy. I don’t have time for that.”

“Yes, you fucking do,” Dallas counters. “I mean, hello? You’re sitting in my restaurant on a Thursday taking an hour-long lunch. You’ll go back to your garage, finish out a few jobs, and then what?”

“Running a business takes a ton of time,” he fires back. “You of all people should know that, Dallas.”

“I do, but I also know that we make time for things that are important to us, like having a life outside of work. You already have a guy that can run the place for you for a couple of hours, so why not take advantage of it?”

“Because I don’t want to fucking coach, all right?” he snaps, his voice booming through the empty restaurant.

Parker and I share a look, but Dallas continues to push. “Because it reminds you of what you lost?”

Grady stands from his stool and tosses his napkin on his plate, his meal only half-eaten. “I gotta go. I forgot I told Astrid I’d stop by to see her today since she was gone this weekend.” He turns to walk away, but only moves three steps before he freezes. Slowly, he turns back around and his eyes drill into mine.

Oh, fuck. Here we go.

“Uh, Dallas? Didn’t you want to show me that thing about the stuff?” Parker asks as Grady and I remain in a standoff.

“Sure. Yeah, we can do that.” Dallas heads to the back of the restaurant, Parker scurrying after him. And then it’s just me and Grady, the brother of the woman I’m in love with.

“Is there something you need to tell me?” he asks, walking back over to the bar where I’m still seated.

“Is there something you want to ask?”

He rubs his jaw, dragging his nails through the thick scruff he’s been growing lately. “Why were you and my sister away on the exact same weekend?”

“Because we were together, Grady,” I say, not shying away from the truth. Grady doesn’t deserve that and neither does Astrid. I’m not going to act like us being together is wrong. I’ve done that enough in my head, but that’s the last fucking thing that’s going to come out of my mouth.

He glares at me harder. “ Together? ”

I stand now so we can see eye to eye, even though I have a few inches on him. I have a few inches on everybody. “Yes. Together. I’m in love with her and I took her away to tell her that. ”

Grady’s face softens almost instantly. “Holy shit.”

“I’m not going to lie to you. She and I have been torn up about it, but I’m not going to stop living my life because of what other people might think. I’ve been in love with her for a while.”

“So when did things change?”

“About a month ago.”

He thinks for a minute and sighs. “Well, I know what I think about it doesn’t really matter because you’re grown-ass adults, but if there’s anyone I would pick for her, it would be you.” He reaches out his hand to me, and just like that, everything is good again. That’s how men handle our issues—cut and dry. “But don’t fucking take her for granted, Penn,” he says, our hands still clasped. “She doesn’t need to deal with that again.”

“Again?” I ask, wondering what he’s referring to.

“Yeah. I mean how Brandon never appreciated her. Their marriage was long over, but I’m sure you already know that,” he says and my expression must reveal my shock because just as quickly, he continues, “Wait…you didn’t know that?”

My pulse starts hammering in my ears, my mind starts to race, and within seconds so many things start spiraling in my mind like a montage of memories.

“Uh, no. What do you mean?”

I think back to the conversations that Brandon and I had, how much he boasted about his life, about his marriage and kids, that he felt like he had it all.

Was it all a bunch of bullshit?

No. It can’t be. Astrid would have told me.

“Fuck.” Grady releases my hand and blows out a breath. “Dude, she doesn’t even know that I know, okay? My mom told me. She was the only one that knew the truth. They were going to get a divorce when he returned from his last deployment, but then…”

“Shit,” I mutter turning away from him as I take in this information. She’s been keeping this secret all this time? No one knew they were having issues? I mean, hell—I was his best friend and he sure as shit didn’t say anything to me. Everything he said was always the complete opposite.

Jesus. Was he lying to me? Or was he really that clueless?

Is this why she’s been so hesitant to tell people? Because everyone thought they were so in love, the perfect little family and she’s the grieving widow who can’t possibly move on?

My head spins but Grady pulls me out of it. “Look, I thought you would have known. Don’t be mad at her.”

“I’m not mad at her. I just...” I tilt my head at him. “I just…I need to fucking talk to her.”

“Yeah, and I know that when you do, it’s going to be my neck on the chopping block, so why don’t you let me talk to her first?”

I nod. “Yeah, probably a good idea.” Especially because I don’t even know how to form words right now.

“And Brandon never said anything to you either?” he asks.

“Never, Grady. In fact, he told me the opposite.” I grab my Coke and drain the rest of the glass.

Grady scoffs. “Sounds about right. He always was about keeping up appearances.”

Jesus. Did I even know the man I considered my best friend? “I need to get back to work.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll text you when I’ve talked to her.” Grady heads for the exit and then Dallas and Parker peek their heads out from the swinging kitchen door .

“Well, I don’t see a black eye, Dallas. That’s a good sign,” Parker says as he steps through and Dallas shoves him forward.

“Why would there be, dumbass?” He glares at our younger brother and then turns to me. “Everything okay?”

“Yes and no. Uh, Grady doesn’t have a problem with us being together, but I just found out that Astrid’s been keeping a pretty big secret from me,” I say, grinding my teeth together harder now.

“Shit,” Dallas mumbles. “Is it that bad?”

“It’s pretty big.”

“Relationship ending?” Parker asks. “Because you know we’ll take your side over Astrid’s.”

The desire to punch my little brother comes out way too strong. “Just because you got fucked over by a woman, doesn’t mean all women are the enemy. And for the record, Sasha was a bitch. There, I said it.”

He stares at me and then nods. “I agree. Thank you. I’m just saying…”

“We’ll be fine. I’ve got to go,” I say, heading for the door, not sure if I believe myself or not. But until Grady talks to Astrid, there’s only one thing I can do—distract myself by working on my rental, wishing I had something to tear apart instead of putting the finishing touches on little things.

But those little things matter, just as much as the big stuff. The past ten minutes have made that abundantly clear.