39. PAUL

Iarrived at my office in the morning, feeling quite good about my future, even though I had nothing lined up and did not yet know what I was going to do next.

As I sat at my desk, a notification broke the silence. I looked down at my laptop screen. It was a Zoom chat message from William.

Are you in yet?

Have you got a minute?

A few seconds passed.

It’s important

I paused a moment, wondering what could be so important. My fingers hovered over my keyboard. What could William want to discuss so urgently?

Sure, what’s up

I waited a few seconds again.

I know who the guy is

What guy?

The guy from the Chicago office

My heart quickened, anticipation mingling with apprehension. A surge of adrenaline flooded me. Did I even want to know? Jack and I had broken up. As far as I knew, he had gone back to his wife.

So what?

Then came another message:

God, don’t be an idiot. Of course, it matters

I am calling you

I felt a low panic. I didn’t want him to pull me into any drama. In that moment, amid transition and change, I didn’t need any ghosts being dragged up. My phone rang.

WILLIAM

I took a breath and picked up.

“What’s up, William?” I asked as soon as I hit Answer, trying to sound cool.

“Paul, you need to find somewhere private so we can talk.”

William’s voice sounded anything but cool. I found a secluded spot at the end of the corridor that fed into the office. I leaned against the wall.

“Okay, I’m alone. What’s so urgent? Why do I need to hide away?”

William took a deep breath before speaking.

“Paul, I know who the guy is.” I heard him breathe out down the line. “He works in your office.”

“No, he’s in Chicago,” I said.

“No, he’s not. He’s been transferred.”

I held my breath.

“What?”

“He works in your office. His name is Ethan West.”

There was no Ethan West in my office.

“I don’t think that’s right. There is no one here by that name.”

“He transferred when you were in London, was transferred to the marketing department, so you wouldn’t know him,” he explained. “But Laura knows him or knows who he is, at least.”

I felt a wave of unease wash over me. “Don’t you want to find out the truth, at least?” my friend asked.

Instinctively, I did. I wanted to find out. I turned and looked around the office. I was trying to see someone I didn’t know, someone who might fit the description of a young man just arrived in New York.

“Okay,” I said. “Thanks, William.”

“Look after yourself,” my friend said. “And let me know what happens.”

After ending the call with William, I waited a moment. I lingered in the corridor. The air crackled with the tension that was in me. I scanned the office, searching for who he might be.

And then, amid the sea of faces, I spotted someone – a young man, maybe my age or younger – whom I did not know.

He was like me in many ways, and yet, there was something different about him: darker and more athletic. He was handsome, actually very handsome. I could see someone like Jack choosing someone like him before me.

With a deep breath, I summoned the courage to do it, to go and be brave. I walked over to his desk and hovered for a moment behind him, like some weird stalker.

Only at the last moment did he turn and see me there, pulling a puzzled face at this crazy stranger stalking him in his own office.

“Ethan,” I began, and his face changed a bit. “You’re Ethan, right?”

“Yes,” he said.

“Ethan West?”

His brow furrowed.

“Yes.”

“Hey, I’m Paul.”

“Hey, Paul. Nice to meet you,” he said, of course, not vaguely guessing what I was about to ask. But hell, I was going to ask it anyway.

“Can I talk to you for a moment, Ethan?”

He smiled a little.

“Sure, of course.”

He must’ve thought it was about work. I moved closer to the edge of his desk.

“Have you moved from the Chicago office?”

Ethan nodded. “Yes, recently.”

“Cool. How’s it going?”

He smiled.

“It’s going okay. First time living in New York.”

“Did you want to transfer, or did the company force you to do so?”

The word “force” seemed too much. Some small suspicion passed across his eyes.

“The company asked me, and I was happy to do it.”

“Cool,” I said, wondering how long I could go without just coming out and asking him, “Did you have an affair with our boss, like I heard?” “Have you found an apartment?” I asked instead.

“Yeah, in Greenpoint in Brooklyn.”

I nodded.

“Oh, Greenpoint. What a cool area!” I said. “And are you settling in well?”

He shrugged nonchalantly. “So far, so good. You know how it is.”

“Sure, of course,” I said, pausing. “And you used to work with Jack, right, in Chicago?”

Ethan’s gaze met mine, and the suspicion grew sharp in his eyes.

“Yes, I did,” he replied, his tone slightly hard, as if to say, “What of it?”

A silence opened up between us. His assertiveness surprised me and intimidated me a bit. Finally, with a sigh, Ethan said something. “Look, Paul, I don’t know what you’ve heard, but nothing happened between me and Jack. A jealous ex just put something on Facebook to hurt me, and it spread around the office. Jack was just really cool and kind to me when I started, just being a great boss.”

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean…” I said when of course, I had meant it.

“I felt so awful, some psycho ex embarrassing me in front of my boss when Jack was nothing but a great guy to me.” The poor guy was blushing. “So, yeah, whatever you heard, I never so much as touched Jack’s elbow, let alone anything else!”

I laughed, and now I was red-faced, too.

“No, of course, man. I wasn’t hinting.” Ethan gave me a sour look as if to say, “Sure.” I realized I had made him feel bad. “Okay, I was, but I won’t say anything to anyone.” I felt bad now. I felt like a bit of a shit, really, but at the same time, I felt something else: relief.

Ethan softened, a wry smile playing at the corners of his lips.

“Office gossip can be a real nightmare. It’s part of why I left Chicago.”

I felt I should do something kind for him, as William and Laura had for me in London.

“Look, man, let’s go for a drink sometime if you need some contacts in the city.”

He broke into a grin.

“Oh, that would be great,” he said. “I don’t have too many friends.”

I smiled at him. He seemed a nice guy.

“In New York, you need some friends,” I said, and I wore this ridiculous grin the whole time, all the while thinking: Jack didn’t lie to me, he was telling me the truth.