20. Josie

"You can breathe."

Could she? Standing in the doorway of the massive bedroom suite at Parkland Grounds while she watched Miranda sleep, could she actually breathe?

All clear. The doctors had given Miranda an all clear.

The cancer was gone.

The bitch was dead.

Hallelujah.

But.

There was always a but.

No victory was ever an absolute when it came to cancer.

As they left the doctor's office today, the damn grim reaper wearing a white coat stopped them to say the dreaded but. "But it can always return without warning."

Without warning? Did cancer ever strike with warning? Josie had never wanted to punch a man more.

No, that wasn't true.

The guy standing next to her had held the honor for the longest time. But things change. Sometimes for the good. Sometimes for the bad. She didn't have to like Ben Fairweather, but she no longer wanted to punch him.

And progress was progress.

Samuel lay curled next to his mother, the two of them sleeping the afternoon away. He was a brave little man, never showing Miranda how truly scared he'd been through this ordeal. Josie was proud of the kid and made sure to stay readily available to be his sounding board whenever things became too much.

"Did you call Simone?" she whispered to Ben. "Miranda will want the girls to know the good news."

Leaning on the opposite side of the doorframe with his arms crossed, Ben shook his head. When Miranda announced she planned to marry him, there was a brief moment where Josie understood. The man was so handsome it hurt her brain half the time.

Not that she was attracted to him. It wasn't like that. But she could understand his appeal, and it helped soften the loss of Miranda.

"I'll go do it now."

He left her, heading down the hall into his office to make the call. The two of them had come to truly know each other over these last few months. It had been difficult at first, but they managed for Miranda's sake.

With him occupied, she stealthily entered the bedroom and closed the door. While Ben claimed to be accepting of what she and Miranda meant to one another, it remained nearly impossible to be completely open around him. Trust was a tricky thing.

Then there was Samuel.

That brilliant boy wasn't easily fooled but was still too young to concern himself with the love lives of adults. Acceptance might never come from others, but she hoped that it might come from him.

One day.

Standing at the foot of the bed, she held the tears at bay. Even weak and frail as Miranda was now, she remained beautiful.

Since freshman year in college, there hadn't been a day where they didn't talk. The connection snapped into place within the first moments of meeting. Josie had walked into her dorm room and found Miranda hanging back in a corner while her mother fussed over the barren space.

"We're going to hire decorators." Mrs. Abrams had thrown her hands in the air. "Pick some colors, girls. We're going shopping."

Miranda and Josie had shared a giggle—the first of many—before being rushed out to spend an ungodly amount of money on room décor.

Their friendship grew from there, and the entire experience had been so very foreign to Josie. She'd never had a friend or even someone who just wanted to hang out. As overworked lawyers, her parents never had a great deal of time to spend with their only child. There had never been any dates or long-term boyfriends. She did try. Several times. But nothing.

Two years into rooming with Miranda, neither of them had gone on a date, or even associated with anyone else. Mostly because there wasn't a need. They had each other.

But then everything changed on one of their movie margarita nights.

It was their thing. Friday nights were for movie marathons and margaritas. No exceptions. Even when apart, they continued the tradition, sitting on the phone until well past midnight watching something together.

On the Friday night that changed their lives forever, the torrential downpour outside had called for something spooky, and they scared themselves half to death with a slasher flick. Add in their poorly mixed drinks, neither of them could sleep, and in the wee hours before dawn, Miranda slipped into Josie's bed.

Josie couldn't remember who made the first move, but there was kissing, and then there was more. So much more. Neither of them knew what they were doing. It was funny now, but back then, totally terrifying.

In the morning, they both agreed that what they felt was too dangerous to be taken seriously. It couldn't last. It couldn't be real.

But it couldn't end either.

Miranda agreeing to marry Ben had been one of the hardest times in her life, and Josie wasn't sure if she would ever get over it.

"Nothing is going to change," Miranda had attempted to assure her on one of their girl weekends away. They had begun to regularly rent a place on the North Carolina coast. A quiet beach house that they swore to buy one day. "I'll marry him, but I'll love you."

"And what am I supposed to do?"

"We'll always have each other, but you need to find someone, or people will start to talk."

So, that's what she did. Thomas Campbell hadn't been the handsomest of men, but he'd been two of the best things any woman in need of a husband could want. Rich and old.

Tommy had been kind, too, and she honestly had no reason to complain. He gave her a good life, never caring if she spent more time with her best friend than him. When he died two years into their marriage, with no heirs and no known relatives, Josie had inherited his entire fortune.

Enough to support herself and buy that North Carolina beach house.

"Josie?" Samuel stirred on the bed, his big brown eyes opening slowly. "Is that you?"

"I'm here."

God, how she loved him. He might be Ben's by nature, but he was hers, too. No matter what the universe said.

Crawling on the bed, she carefully laid down on Miranda's opposite side, taking Samuel's hand that rested on his mother's stomach. "She's okay, you know."

Samuel's glasses began to fog from the tears filling his eyes. The spectacles sat lopsided after he'd fallen asleep—yet again—with them on.

"But he said it could come back." His bottom lip trembled. "The percentages are not in the favor of the patient."

"Have you been reading those AMA journals again?"

"Kinda."

"Didn't your mama tell you not to do that?"

"Yeah, but—"

Josie released his hand to swipe the mop of black hair back from his face. "No buts."

"Oh, this talk sounds serious," Miranda rasped, waking slowly. Since the treatment ended, Josie had noticed it took her a little longer than normal to come out of a deep sleep. "And today is not a day to be serious."

Samuel wiped at the tears, his knuckles scraping the lens of his glasses. He was going to pop them out of the frame again. "Easy there," Josie said. "Your second pair is all the way on the other side of the house, and I'm not walking that far to get them."

"Okay." He sucked in his tears and crawled up to peer into his mother's face. "How are you feeling? Do you want some tea?"

"No, my little worrier. I don't want tea." Miranda grinned bright and beautiful at her son. "It's Friday, and the doctor said I can do whatever I want."

"Within reason, Miranda." Josie would not have her relapsing over something ridiculous like eating too many hamburgers or smoking the occasional cigarette as they did now and then. "Nothing crazy."

Miranda stuck her bottom lip out. "But it's Friday."

"Ugh." Samuel flopped onto the bed. "Do we have to watch one of those movies?"

"Absolutely." Ben appeared at the door, juggling a tray holding a blender and various bottles. "We'll watch it up here, so Mom doesn't have to trudge all the way downstairs to the living room."

More times than not, Josie no longer hated Ben Fairweather. She should, but she just couldn't find it in her anymore. Hurrying over to help, she told Samuel to get Miranda situated for the movie.

"What did the girls say?" she asked Ben, keeping her voice low so Miranda wouldn't hear.

"They wanted to come over and celebrate, but I said leave it until tomorrow," he replied, dropping some ice in the blender. "Fridays are for you two."

Josie paused in her tequila pouring, staring long and hard at him. "You're alright, Fairweather." She bumped his arm with her elbow. "I mean it."

"Thanks, but don't tell anyone."

They made the margaritas with sugar instead of salt on the rim just the way Miranda liked and settled about the room. Josie propped herself up on the bed next to Miranda while Ben and Samuel sat on a batch of pillows spread across the floor.

"Ben, aren't you going to change?" Miranda asked.

Sliding a stack of VHS tapes over to Samuel, he shrugged. "I'm fine."

"The man was born in a collared shirt and tie, I swear," Josie murmured to Miranda. "Oh, and Samuel, pick a good movie for tonight."

With a whoop of excitement, Samuel dug through the options. "Jurassic Park?"

"Mom movies." Ben leaned back on the foot of the bed, loosening his tie. "Something with kissing."

Tossing every Meg Ryan movie out of the pile, Samuel made noises of disgust until finding one he approved. "This will work."

Ben started the movie, and the opening of ThePrincess Bride appeared on the screen.

"You know what I don't get about this movie?" Samuel said as he dug around in the bowl of pretzels he and Ben were sharing. "Why does he say as you wish instead of, I love you? Like, just tell her you love her. Stop being weird."

"Because love is weird." Miranda slid her hand under the blanket covering them and rested it on Josie's leg. "Sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, the world can be a scary place, and you have to hide it."

"There's also the fear of rejection," Josie added. "That can suck big time."

"Nah." Chewing loudly, and eyes on the screen, Samuel shook his head. "If I ever fall in love with a girl, I won't hide it. That's stupid. I'll walk right up to her and be like, hey, I love you, and then she'll say, oh, Samuel, I love you. Done."

Josie and Miranda burst into laughter at hearing him switch to using a girl's voice while Ben ruffled his son's hair. "You realize you just jinxed yourself, right?"

"Whatever."

They watched for a little longer, with Samuel growing bored after about thirty minutes. "When are we going to get to the sword fighting?"

"Come on." Ben rose from the floor, dragging Samuel with him. "Let's get more snacks."

Miranda paused the movie which was pointless. Samuel couldn't stay still long enough to watch any movie straight through.

"Are you alright?"

Relaxing on the headboard, Josie kept her face neutral. "I'm fine."

"You're such a liar."

Miranda set her drink aside, craning her neck to check that Ben and Samuel were truly gone. Once she was sure, she laid her head on Josie's chest. "I'm not going anywhere, Josie."

The margarita barely made it to the nightstand, her hands shaking as she placed it out of the way. Burying her face in Miranda's hair, she held the woman she loved. The doctors had said her not losing a single strand during treatment had been a miracle. Miranda was a miracle.

Josie could have told them that.

"You better not." She squeezed Miranda a little tighter. "We get a life together. I can't have you crap out on me now, because we damn well deserve to be happy."

"We do. We deserve it. Me, you, Samuel. We're going to be so happy. Our little family." Miranda tilted her head to meet her gaze. "Ben won't go back on his word. I know he won't. Just don't get scared by all the small stuff."

Josie kissed her gently, not willing to waste the speck of alone time they had been given. "As you wish."