Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

B J pounded on the door, heart in his throat. "Penny? Open up. It's me."

After receiving her text, he dropped the clipboard he'd been using to keep track of the proofing levels and rushed over to her place. Del gave him a weird look and Ace demanded to know what was going on. All he remembered shouting to his brothers was that he had an emergency, and he'd call them later.

The last time Penny texted him saying she needed him right away had been years ago. He'd just gotten home from his last tour. He'd been tired and on edge being back in the civilian world. It always took a few weeks to acclimate to a life where you didn't have to worry about enemy fire coming at all hours of the day and night. His plan had been to head up to Estes Park, rent a cabin, and spend a week in solitude. But then Penny had texted.

BJ, I need to talk to you right away. Please come.

The same words she'd used tonight. The last time it had been a trauma times three. Her grandfather had passed after a long battle with cancer. The dog she loved with all her heart had run away and hadn't been seen for a week. And the final blow had been her dick of a fiancé breaking off the engagement two weeks before the big day. Not to say he mourned that loss. He'd always hated the prick and never thought Lance was good enough for his best friend. But he'd seen the devastation in Penny's eyes. It damn near tore his heart out. She'd cried harder than he'd even thought a person could. Never in his life had he felt so helpless. All he could do was sit there and hold her.

He hadn't seen Penny cry since that night, and she'd never sent him another frantically worded text like the one she'd sent that night.

Until now.

So here he stood. Fist pounding on her door. Heart pounding in his chest. Terrified of what lay on the other side because he didn't think he could stand to see Penny so broken again. He'd vowed that long-ago night to protect her from pain of that magnitude ever happening again. An impossible promise, sure, but one he'd made and damn sure tried to keep.

"Penny?"

The door slowly creaked open. A pale face covered in a smattering of freckles peeked out through the opening. Fiery red hair gathered in a sloppy bun on top of her head. A few strands had fallen out. Large hazel eyes stared at him with…embarrassment?

"Hey, BJ."

" Hey, BJ . You send me a 911 text, took forever to answer your door and all I get is a Hey BJ ?"

Her brow furrowed. Nose wrinkling. The small, upturned tip rising even higher. "I didn't take forever."

Felt like it to him. Every damn second had stretched into an eternity as he hauled ass over here. The worst of the worst running through his mind. Placing a hand on the door, he pushed slightly. Penny automatically stepped back, allowing him entrance. Once inside her house, he headed straight for the living room. The sound of the door closing, and her soft footsteps followed him.

Normally he'd sit on her couch, make himself at home, maybe turn on the TV. Tonight, he didn't do any of those things. He stood in the middle of her living room and turned to face her. "Penny, what is going on?"

Long, thin fingers tapped against her thigh. "Um…well, you see, the thing is…do you want to sit?"

No, he didn't want to fucking sit. He wanted to know what the hell was wrong with his best friend. Crossing his arms over his chest, he remained where he was.

"Right, okay, no sitting. Um, I…kind of need…oh! How rude of me. I haven't offered you a drink, or are you hungry? I bet you're hungry. I can make you a sandwich. I got those bread and butter pickles you like and—"

"Penny!" The woman was killing him. He reached out, grabbing her wrist in a firm, yet soft grip before she could turn tail and run off to the kitchen. Tugging on her arm, he gently pulled her to him. "I don't need anything except for you to tell me what's wrong."

She tucked her chin into her chest, refusing to look him in the eye. "Nothing is wrong."

"Bullshit."

At that, her face rose. He rarely swore around her, but he was done playing or whatever the hell they were doing. Something had been bothering her for days. He knew it, knew her . He'd tried to let it go, allow her to come to him in her own time, but he was tired of waiting. Tired of her almost coming out with it, then retreating into herself. They were friends, dammit, best friends. She didn't get to hide her problems. Not from him. Not when he could help.

"Please." He brought his hands up, cupping her face, stroking the soft skin in a soothing manner. "Tell me what you need."

"I need your sperm."

His hands fell from her face. Shock dropping his hold. Hazel eyes grew impossibly wide as she blurted out words he'd never imagined coming from her lips. His brain tried to come up with something, anything, but surely, he'd misheard her. Penny couldn't have possibly asked him for his sperm. Had she?

"I…what?"

A loud groan left her pink lips. Stepping out of his touch, she brought up her own hands to cover her face. He thought he heard her let out a muffled scream, but he couldn't be sure of anything his ears were hearing tonight.

Dropping her hands, she turned and paced back and forth across the living room floor. "Okay, remember a while ago when we were talking about me wanting to be a mom, but being too socially awkward to attract any kind of decent man—"

"You mean you being awesome and the entire male species being too stupid to realize it?" Ableists fucks . He knew a lot of Penny's relationship woes came from her partners not bothering to understand autism or even trying to learn more about it.

She waved away his sentiment, continuing, "Anyway, I was remembering your offer and—"

"Wait, wait, what offer?"

She stopped pacing and turned to face him. "Remember, we were talking about how adoption wouldn't work, and you suggested I use, um, some guy's stuff and then said I could even have yours?"

His jaw literally dropped. He would even swear he heard it crack. "Penny…I was…I didn't mean...I didn't realize you were serious about it."

She lifted her chin. "Well, I am, and I really want the second set of DNA to come from you."

He'd sampled too much of the latest gin batch and was currently passed out in the office having a wild, booze induced dream. That could be the only explanation for what was currently going on because there was no way he stood here, in the middle of Penny's apartment, talking about her need for his sperm. Nope. No way in hell. This was all some weird, messed up gin fever, and he'd be paying for it in the morning with a hangover from hell.

"You want to have a baby and you want my…" Oh, shit, he couldn't say the word. Not again. Not to her. " Stuff to do it?"

"Yes."

He bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. Ouch! The coppery taste of blood slid over his tongue.

Yup, he was definitely awake.

"You…want to have sex with me?"

Her nose wrinkled. "No! I just need you to make a deposit at my doctor's office, then I will be artificially inseminated."

Oh. Okay. That sounded easy. But damn, she didn't have to seem disgusted by the thought of sleeping with him. It wasn't like he was a hideous troll or anything. He knew some women didn't like his long hair and beard, but others damn near ripped their panties right off the moment he took his wavy locks out of the confines of what his sister called his manbun. He'd gotten a few spontaneous proposals rafting down Clear Creek every summer.

He had no idea why it bothered him so much. It wasn't like he wanted to have sex with Penny. They were friends. Still, the rejection stung. She didn't have to act like sex with him would be worse than doing her taxes. A chore he knew she hated almost as much as all the reboots of their favorite childhood television shows.

"I'm not asking you to be my partner in this. I don't want to marry you or have you pay any child support. I'm not looking for any of that. You can be as involved as you want. We can work out an agreement. Of course, I'd love it if you and your family were in the baby's life. You all mean so much to me and that's partially why I want you as a donor, but I'm not demanding anything of you. I just want a baby. My baby."

She stepped closer until they were less than a foot apart, those soft hazel eyes revealing every emotion like they always did: sadness, hesitation, longing.

"I want this desperately, BJ."

He knew that. One of the reasons her failed engagement had broken her up so much was because her and dickwad had talked about starting a family right away. Something Penny had been excited about. Perhaps even more excited than the wedding itself.

"I want—no, I need this baby and I want them to have the very best start in life. That means giving them the very best genes I can. I don't trust the donors in the books the doctor gave me. I don't know those men. Sure, they look great on paper. All their tests come out healthy, but I don't know who they are as people."

She placed a soft hand on his chest, right over his heart. Could she feel how hard it was pounding? Had it ever stopped its frantic thundering since rushing over here earlier?

"I know who you are, inside. I know you're not only strong and healthy, but good and kind. You have the very best inside of you and I want to give that to my baby."

Wow. He didn't think anyone had ever said anything so nice to him. Or strange.

"I know this is a lot to think about."

"Understatement of the year."

She ignored his muttering. "Take your time to think it over. You'll need to drop off a sample for testing beforehand and then we'll have to coordinate with my ovulation cycle. If you agree, that is."

"Right, um, yeah, okay. That makes sense, I guess."

Only it didn't make sense. None of this made any damn sense.

Coordinate with her cycle? Was it weird to know when his best friend was ovulating? Had he ever known when a woman was ovulating?

This whole situation was weird. He'd rushed over here tonight, expecting to find Penny in crisis. Another death in the family, career trouble, hell, even trouble with a guy—though he knew she hadn't dated anyone seriously since Lance. Being asked to supply the other half of a DNA strand so she could be a mom was the very last thing he'd ever expected her to need his help with.

But she did need his help, and he'd never turned her away.

Still, this was…huge. This wasn't protecting her from school bullies, giving her advice on running her own business, or helping her search the entire town in vain for a lost dog. This was a big, colossal , life altering favor. One he didn't know if he could do. Even if it had sort of been his idea in the first place. But he hadn't thought she was serious enough to take him up on it.

He should have known better. This was Penny. Of course she had been serious about it. She was always serious about important stuff and having a baby was probably the most important thing in the world to her. He knew that. Then why had he opened his big mouth that day in the sandwich shop?

Because he'd do anything to help his best friend. That's why. But could he do this?

"So…you'll think about it?"

He glanced into her face, dark reddish-brown freckles standing out against her stark, pale skin. Big hazel eyes filled with hope and worry. Damn, he hated seeing the worry there. He couldn't stand seeing Penny upset. Truthfully, he hated when anyone was upset, but Penny's distress cut him to the bone. He couldn't disappoint her. Not tonight, not after she'd laid herself out there like that. He knew what she was asking of him had to be hard for her. It'd be hard for anyone, but Penny didn't like to bare herself to people, even him. She kept a lot of her feelings and desires locked away. He got to see more than most, being her best friend, but she was still hesitant to let people in.

"Yeah, I'll think about it."

Pink lips turned up as a huge smile graced her face, happiness lighting her up from the inside out. Throwing her arms around him, she squeezed. "Oh, thank you, BJ. I promise I'm not asking you for anything but your sperm."

Did she have to keep saying that word? It sounded strange and out of place between them. But he'd made the lines of tension leave her face and her fingers had stopped their tapping. Hugging her back, he kissed the top of her head; grateful he made her feel better. Even if he was the one with a stomach full of rocks now.

Better him than her. Always.

"Um, I gotta go. I kind of left Ace and Del in the middle of a batch run."

"Oh shoot," she pulled out of his embrace, nose scrunching. "I'm sorry. I should have realized you'd be busy."

"Never too busy for you."

And that was the truth. The distillery was important to him and his family, but they all knew when it came down to it, family always held higher priority. And Penny had been like a part of the Jackson family for years now.

He headed out her door, waving as he closed it behind him, shutting out the weirdest moment he'd ever had in his life. As he headed back to Jacks, he replayed her request in his head over and over again, still trying to come to grips with it. He had no idea what to do. All he knew was Penny wanted something. Something she'd wanted for ages. Something within his power to give her. He'd never hesitated to do anything to make her happy before, but this…

For once in his life, he had absolutely no fucking clue what to do.