Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

B J rushed up the stairs to Penny's apartment. After waking up with a bit of a hangover and a massive case of the dumbassness—as Charlie would call it—he knew his mother was right. As always. No matter how scared he was about the possibility of losing Penny in the future, he would suffer more if he never took a chance on them to begin with. They already had a relationship. Whether he had been willing to admit it, it was there.

Sure, he lied to everyone, including himself. Said it was simply him doing her a favor, their scratching of a simultaneous itch. But he'd been wrong. Deep down, he must have known that making love to Penny would change everything, and a part of him had been damn ready for it.

He just hoped the rest of his senseless self hadn't ruined what was probably the best thing to ever happen to him in his entire life.

He needed to talk to Penny. Now.

His determination hit a brick wall the moment he reached the top of the stairs. The very person he needed, desired, loved stood right outside her apartment, pulling the door closed. Sweat coated his palms. His earlier self-assurance faltered. Everything had been so clear on the way here. All he needed to say and do, but now, in the face of the actual moment, he found himself frozen and speechless.

Penny turned, glancing up from dropping her keys in her purse. Startling shock covered her features when her gaze landed on him.

"BJ. Hi, um, what are you doing here?"

Somehow, he kicked his brain into gear and open his mouth. "I was coming to see you. Do you have a client meeting or something?"

She bit her lip, fingers tapping away on her thigh. "No. Actually, I was heading to see you, too."

Relief washed over him. He hadn't blown his chance. At least, he didn't think he had. Not if the hopeful look in her eyes meant anything.

"Can we…" He motioned to her apartment.

"Oh, yes. Of course."

She reached into her purse, fumbling around for the keys. As he approached, he noticed her body vibrating. A slight shaking to her limbs, making her fingers drop the keys to the floor the moment she pulled them from her bag. Bending down, he palmed them, inserting the proper key into the lock and pushing the door open.

He motioned for her to enter ahead of him, but she paused, glancing up at him with hazel eyes so beautiful it damn near killed him right where he stood.

He hated the lingering fear and doubt he saw there. Hated that he put it there. He bent his head, pressing his lips against hers, claiming her mouth in a move that made no mistake as to his reasons for being here.

When he pulled away, they were both breathing hard.

"Come inside, honey. I have some things I need to say to you."

She entered this time. He followed, closing the door behind him.

"I'm sorry, Penny."

"For what?"

He ran a hand over his unbound hair, tugging on the strands. The slight sting made it easier to focus on what he needed to say instead of how much he desperately wanted the woman in front of him. The air needed to be cleared. Intentions crystal, before they could resume their relationship.

If it resumes.

She could always have changed her mind. Decided he wasn't worth the effort. God, he hoped she hadn't.

Penny stood, immobilized, as she stared at BJ. He looked awful and amazing at the same time. How could a man do that? It was obvious to her that he'd had a rough couple of nights. Only fair, so had she. But there was something new about him. A kind of hesitant nervousness she'd never seen from him in all their years of friendship.

"I'm sorry," he began, clearing his throat. "For how I reacted the other night. I was scared, hell. Still am. But I've done a lot of thinking and gotten some wisdom shown to me. I know now no matter how scared I am of the possibilities in the future, nothing compares to the absolute agony of losing you now."

The pain and fear that had been weighing her down, crushing her for the past two days, lifted.

"I love you, Penny. I always have, but it wasn't until recently that I realized I'm in love with you, too. You're my best friend, my soul mate, you're the person I have the most fun with and the one I want around me when things are at their absolute worst. Everything I do is made better with you by my side."

A sob broke free, tears pouring down her cheeks, their liquid warmth welcome for the first time in days. The emotional dam inside her broke as everything came pouring out. The fear, the worry, but most of all, happiness.

"You're in love with me?"

He stepped closer, pulling her into his arms, bending his head until their foreheads touched. "So damn deep in love I can't even see the sunshine. All I see is you, and honey, you're the brightest, most beautiful thing in the entire world."

She smiled, sniffing back the last of her tears. "I love you, Bravo. So very much. And we don't need to decide on anything right away. We can take it slow, take our time. I know this changes our plans with the baby thing again, but I—"

One large, rough finger settled gently on her lips. "It's been seventeen years. Pretty slow by most people's standards."

"Yes, but we've been friends that whole time. Not lovers."

Full lips turned up in a wicked grin. "Not the whole time."

True. They had changed the dynamic of their friendship recently. "Yes, but we still don't have to rush anything. I know you never planned on getting married or having a family and I'm willing to wait until you—"

He silenced her this time with a kiss. A killer of a kiss. One large hand came up to cup the back of her head, angling her so he could devour her mouth. She sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck. The moment his tongue stroked hers, fireworks went off behind her closed eyelids. Her body trembled with need, aching in low, deep spots. How could he affect her so deeply with just a kiss?

Simple. They were in love.

"Penelope," he whispered against her lips, breathing as hard as her. "I love you and I want to be with you. I want to marry you, have a family with you, face all the stupid scary shit this life can throw our way. Am I still afraid? Hell yeah, but I'm more afraid of never having all of that than I am of having it and losing it. What do you say?"

She smiled up at him. Her best friend, the person she trusted the most in this world, the one she turned to whenever she had a problem. "I say yes. To you, to us, to everything."

His smile grew. Brightening so much it almost blinded her with its happiness. He bent, scooping her up into his arms. A laugh of pure joy poured out of her as he carried her toward the bedroom.

"Now," he said in a husky, teasing tone. "How about we continue with your plan to become a mother, because I suddenly find I am really looking forward to becoming a father."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, and the trying part is so much fun."

He bobbed his eyebrows, and she laughed. Her body was so light and happy she couldn't believe any of this was real. But it was. She thought her heart wanted only one thing when, in fact, it wanted it all. And lucky her, it looked like she was going to get her heart's desire.