Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22

P enny woke up much the same way she had for the past three weeks, wrapped in BJ's arms. Unlike the previous mornings, however, she felt a sharp pain low in her abdomen, rousing her from an otherwise peaceful slumber. Knowing the cause, but hoping she was wrong, she slipped out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. Moments later, her disappointment was confirmed as she reached underneath the bathroom sink for the box of tampons she'd hoped she wouldn't be needing for the foreseeable future.

After taking care of necessities, she washed her hands.

"It's fine," she assured her morose reflection in the bathroom mirror. "It rarely happens right away."

At least, that's what everyone at the doctor's office had assured her. Only thirty-eight percent of women became pregnant within the first cycle of trying. She'd done her research. She knew the statistics. So how could she still feel this deep, aching disappointment?

Trying to push down the heavy weight crushing her chest, she made her way back to the bedroom. BJ smiled as she entered the room, rumpled and sleepy eyes and looking far too sexy for the dismal mood she was in right now.

"Hey, beautiful. Come on back to bed." He patted the mattress, lips curling into a grin. "I don't have to be at Jacks for another couple of hours. What will we do with the time?"

"I started," she blurted out the words, fighting back the sob trying to rise in her throat.

"What?"

"My period. I, um, started. So I-I'm not…you know."

In a flash, he rose from the bed, gloriously naked. Too bad she couldn't enjoy the sight. Not in her current state of mind. Even a sexy, naked Bravo Jackson couldn't stop this painful sadness from spreading through her soul.

"Oh, honey. I'm sorry." He cupped her face in his hands, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "We can keep trying. You know that, right? As long as it takes."

Yes, she knew. She also knew it was silly to be this upset. The chances of conceiving the first month were low. But, dammit! She really wanted this baby. For some reason, it felt like she had failed. Stupid, but she couldn't change how her emotions guided her brain.

"Here," he bent, scooping her up into his arms and carrying her back to bed. Placing her on the soft mattress, he pulled the fluffy down comforter over her, tucking her in. "You stay right there while I go make you breakfast. Cheese omelet and sausage with a side of toast?"

She nodded. Afraid if she opened her mouth, wailing would be the only reply.

His face pinched with worry and remorse. "I'm so damn sorry, Penny. I know it's hard, but we can keep trying. I promise. As long as you want. And hey," he stroked her cheek with his thumb, lips curling into a tempting grin. "At least the trying part is fun, right?"

She laughed, as she knew he meant her too. Even in her darkest moments, BJ had always been able to make her laugh. He never made light of her troubles, the bullying, her inability to fit in with people, her guy issues, but he always knew how to make her see the bright side. The man had an amazing ability to find the joy in anything, to brighten people's days simply by being him.

"I'll be in the kitchen. Yell if you need anything."

She watched him tug on his jeans and head out the bedroom door, all set to make her breakfast in bed. Amazing. Lance never pampered her like this. When it came to her time of the month, he usually disappeared for a week. Claiming there was no reason to hang out, since nothing would happen.

Why had she ever dated that asshole?

Blame it on desperation and stupidity. BJ would never abandon her just because he wasn't getting anything out of the relationship. The man wasn't wired that way. As cliché as it sounded, he'd give a stranger the shirt off his back if they needed it. He always looked out for people in need, the underdog. Just one of the many things she loved about her best friend.

"All right, the food is cooking, but I brought you some coffee, cheese, and some medicine to help with the cramps."

BJ set the tray he carried on the nightstand beside her. Hot steam rose from the blue ceramic mug, the aroma of the caffeinated beverage hitting her nostrils, waking her muddled brain. Beside her coffee lay a few slices of cheddar. She'd always hated chocolate. Even when most women joked about craving it during their cycle, Penny had never experienced a deep hunger for the sweet. She did, however, crave cheese. Weird? Yeah, but so was she.

Two little white pills she knew came from the menstrual pain relief bottle in her medicine cabinet, sat right next to her food and drink. He knew where they were. He knew where everything was and, more importantly, he knew exactly what she needed. She didn't have to ask or clarify, he just knew. There was no explaining, no questioning. He understood her inside and out. They'd been friends a long time, it shouldn't surprise her, but it did. Something heavy, overwhelming in its intensity, wrapped around her, suffocating her with the single realization she'd never allowed herself to see before. She didn't simply love her best friend. No, it was more than that. Her hand shook as she reached for the coffee, the truth whispering in her head.

Oh no! She was in love with Bravo.