35. Blake

CHAPTER 35

Blake

“Well, that was a long day,” I say as I shove open the door to my apartment and let Elise slip in before me.

I’m both keyed up and exhausted.

I hate the spotlight on a good day.

But today?

When I just wanted to be alone with Elise on our wedding day?

It was fucking torture.

There were reporters everywhere, mics in my face, lots of congratulations, and my phone hasn’t seen that many notifications since I let the puck slide past me last season and I lost the Racketeers the championship.

But probably for the best, because if I was alone with Elise, I would have told her I’m in love with her and forced her to let me down gently.

Which would have really been torture.

“I had no idea people were so in love with love,” she admits, dropping her overnight bag by the front door and bending over to yank off her boots.

She strips her winter coat off and just drops it on top of her shoes.

“I have a coat closet.” I point to it.

She just shrugs. I leave the coat where she’s tossed it.

She’s stayed over here several times before but we were usually ripping each other’s clothes off within three feet of my front door. Tonight, she looks like she needs a hug much more than she needs my dick.

She looks as exhausted as I feel.

Faking happiness is brutal. Or rather, faking that you’re faking happiness is brutal, when you are, in fact, really happy, but it’s all fake. Or something like that.

“Come here.” I pull her into my arms and she sags against me. “Do you want to take a shower or a bath? Then we can watch a stupid comedy or a horror movie. Your pick.”

“Oh, definitely horror,” she murmurs against my chest.

“Works for me.” The whole ride home I was worried about tonight.

This afternoon, after I stood there in the courthouse and realized I wanted to be married to her for real, and that I’m in love with her, I shouldn’t have gone home with her. But I couldn’t resist the urge to be inside her one more time, to touch her soft flesh, and kiss her gorgeous lips.

I think she sensed I was being weird. She kept trying to make it about quick sex, and I kept trying to make it romantic. Finally, I got myself so fucking wound up I ended up pounding her into the headboard with such ferocity she probably still has a headache.

Yeah. I was weird.

Hell, I even took her panties.

But I’ve never loved a woman the way I do Elise, and I’m kind of going out of my fucking mind.

Every moment in bed with her, every moment on the ice hamming it up for the crowd, then answering reporters' questions, I wanted it to be real.

I told Aidan I’m in love with her.

He and Simon are in love with her, too.

So now I don’t know what happens.

But right now, Elise just needs time to decompress.

I do have to warn her though. “Aidan and Simon found out we got married. They were a little…caught off guard.”

“Oh! Shit. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Neither did I.” I massage her lower back. Her muscles are tense. “You never found your phone?”

“No. Maybe it’s in the garbage compactor. I’ve found it there before.” She pulls back. “They didn’t call the landline though. When did you hear from them?”

“Before the game I talked to Aidan. He said he spoke to Simon earlier and told him. I guess some of the other firefighters saw the social media posts.”

She bites her lower lip. “We should have told them.”

“Yep. But they’ll understand. It wasn’t meant to be a secret. Just…”

“Not a big deal,” she finishes, her voice flat.

My stomach drops. “Exactly.”

Frustration nearly overwhelms me.

This is nuts.

I don’t want to live without this woman.

In the woods, or otherwise.

I’m going to let her take a bath, we’ll watch a movie, get a good night’s sleep, then I need to shoot my shot. I’ve spent most of my life blocking shots on the ice and in my personal life.

Not anymore.

I’m going to tell her how I feel and see if it lands in the net.

But right now, she needs some space.

“Bath or shower?”

“A bath sounds amazing.”

I take her into my bathroom and I dig out some bath salts I use when my muscles are tired. Elise ties her hair up in a bun on her head as I turn the water on. I go and get her overnight bag and when I return, she’s already in the water, piling bubbles up over her naked body so I can’t see the good parts.

I’m going to assume that’s a hint that she doesn’t want me to touch her.

Pulling a towel out of the linen closet, I set it on the counter. “Here you go. Do you want a glass of wine?”

“That sounds amazing.” She gives a sigh and leans back, closing her eyes.

In my bedroom I change into lounge pants and a T-shirt, then go and open a glass of the sauvignon blanc I know she likes. When I come back, I turn off the overhead lights and just leave the sconces on so the harsh glare isn’t in her eyes. I set the wine on the little table I have next to the free-standing tub.

She opens her eyes and smiles at me. “Thank you. This tub is incredible. It’s massive.”

“I have a big body and I do love a good soak.”

“Think how amazing you’re going to feel in a year after you’re done playing.” She lifts the glass and sips the wine.

“Yeah. I’m looking forward to it. I’ll miss hockey though.”

I’ll miss her.

I almost blurt out my feelings again, but she closes her eyes, so I just retreat and leave her be.

I debate reaching out to Aidan and asking him for advice, but I don’t know where the three of us guys stand with each other right now.

Or where they stand with Elise.

All of that kind of seems like a conversation that needs to happen in person. The four of us.

Scrolling through all the messages I have on my phone, I see a text from Justin Fucking Travers. Annoyed, I open it, wondering what the prick has to say.

Congratulations on your marriage, man. I’m genuinely happy for you. No more shit talk, let’s keep it to hockey.

I don’t know if it’s genuine or not, and I still want to slam him into the boards, but it’s something. I just text him “thanks” and leave it at that. If I think about him touching my wife, my head will explode.

Another twenty minutes pass while I scroll. I don’t hear anything from the bathroom. Worried Elise might have fallen asleep in the tub, I go and check on her. She’s asleep, but not in the tub. It’s still filled with deflating bubbles and lukewarm water.

Elise is curled up in the middle of my bed, sound asleep under the covers.

I pause, debating joining her, but she looks too comfortable to bother. My bulk will drop the mattress the second I sit on the bed and I don’t want to crowd her. I’ve crowded her enough today with my wants and desires.

So I grab my pillow and a spare blanket and head to the couch.

Not exactly the wedding night of my dreams and yet, I still feel very fucking grateful.

Fake or not, I’m married to the woman I love.