34. Elise

CHAPTER 34

Elise

True to their word, Luna and Cameron get me out of the bakery without anyone seeing me and then into the arena by parking in the players’ lot and using a back door. The security people don’t even blink, clearly used to seeing these two.

But my anonymity ends the second we step off the VIP elevator and onto the concourse. People start turning and pointing and talking.

And as I follow Luna and Cam down the steps toward our regular seats, suddenly the wedding march is blasting over the intercom.

I stop, the crowd erupts in cheers and whistles, and I look up at the Jumbotron to find myself front and center.

The only thing I can do is blush, smile, and wave.

I am Mrs. Blake Wilder. Legally. At least for now.

I look down on the ice and find Blake immediately. He has stopped his warm-ups and is watching me come down the steps.

I blow him a kiss, and he puts his hand over his heart as he gives me a huge grin.

The crowd goes wild.

Yeah, that’s pretty sweet.

Well, so far, so good.

I’m only in my seat for about five minutes before Sammy, the Racketeers mascot, comes stomping down the steps and stops in the aisle at the end of our row.

“Jesus Christ,” Cam mutters.

“Remind me why I haven’t fired him,” Nathan says.

“Oh, stop it,” Dani tells him, grinning. “He’s great. The crowd loves him.”

There is definitely a love-hate relationship between Sammy and these guys. On one hand, he’s the reason that Dani is with her men. Kind of. On the other, Cameron does not like the fact that Wade, the kid inside the malamute dressed in a gangster costume had a little crush on Luna. Cam was quite pleased, however, when Wade seemed to shift his affections to me.

I look over at Sammy. I wasn’t told this was part of our show tonight. He tips his head to one side and plants his big furry paws on his hips. I glance up and see that, of course, we are on the Jumbotron.

Well, I can put on a show. I shrug as if to ask, “What?”

He holds up his left hand and points at his ring finger with his right. I hold mine up, wiggle it so the diamond sparkles.

The crowd cheers.

Sammy mimes a knife stabbing into his heart.

I laugh and shrug and mouth, “I’m sorry.”

He holds out his hand to me then gestures up the stairs.

I point down on the ice toward Blake, put my hand over my heart and then shake my head at Sammy indicating that no, I won’t run away with him.

Sammy sighs heavily, his shoulders slumping.

The crowd gives a collective, “Aw,” in sympathy.

Then everyone starts laughing and cheering.

I look around, then realize that Sammy has turned to face the ice and has his hands up in surrender, shaking them and his head.

I look down to find Blake pointing his hockey stick up at Sammy and then dragging his opposite hand across his throat.

Obviously, there is a break in the game action.

I laugh and feel my heart skip.

How could I not fall in love with this guy? I’m not stupid at all. Not falling for him would have been far more ridiculous than losing my heart was.

Finally, Blake has to turn back to the game and Sammy wipes across his forehead as if massively relieved and I extend my hand as if to shake his hand.

But Sammy puts his hands up and starts backing up the stairs, as if to say no way, I’m staying far away from you.

The crowd loves it.

When I can finally take my seat again, Luna and Dani are delighted.

“I could never ham it up like that,” Dani tells me.

“Yeah, I maybe could, but I would look ridiculous. You're a natural,” Luna tells me.

I shrug. “It’s pretty fun. I’m surprised Blake got into it.”

“It would’ve been hilarious if Aidan and Simon had been here too,” Luna says.

“Yeah, I’ve been dying to ask you—what were their reactions when you and Blake said you were going to actually get married ?” Dani asks.

Dani and Luna are both in poly relationships, but Dani is the only one who actually has married her guys. So far anyway. And she did marry all three of them, but not at once. She had a commitment ceremony with Nathan and Michael first, and Crew later. And did create some angst amongst them, but they worked through it and are all wildly happy and fully committed now.

Of course, there’s a huge difference between her foursome and mine. Hers intends to stay together.

I shake my head and lower my voice, “Nothing. I mean, we haven’t told them. It’s not real, remember?”

Dani and Luna both turn to look at me. “But it is real,” Luna says. “I mean you really got married, right?”

“Yes.” I don’t know why everyone is so worked up about that. It’s just a piece of paper. No one knows how I really feel about Blake so they shouldn’t be so invested in this. “But Aidan and Simon know that we were faking the engagement. And they’ll know that the marriage is temporary. I don’t expect them to have a reaction at all.”

Dani and Luna exchange glances. I lift my brows. “What?”

“You don’t expect them to have a reaction?” Dani repeats. “Really?”

“You guys, our situation isn’t like yours.”

“But there are feelings,” Dani insists. “I mean, I’ve seen you together. I know you’re having fun, but there are real feelings between you all.”

Danielle always wants everyone to be in love. That’s all that is. I tell my heart, which is now beating a little faster, to calm down. Dani has no idea how the guys feel.

I sit back in my seat and slump down. “Well, there are real feelings between Aidan and Simon.”

Luna leans in closer. “What are you talking about?”

“I overheard them. They’re in love with each other. Which is amazing. They’re both the best. I’m so happy they’re happy.”

Luna narrows her eyes. “You don’t look happy that they’re happy.”

I shake my head. “No. I seriously am. I love-–”

Dani now leans in. “What was that?”

I press my lips together.

“Come on,” Luna says. “Say it.”

“I almost said I love them.”

“See? Love.” Dani seems almost giddy. “You’re all falling in love.”

I shake my head. “Well, that’s the fucked up thing.” I look from one to the other then I focus on the ice. On Blake. “ I’m falling in love. I’m in love with all of them. But Aidan and Simon are in love with each other. Simon is going back to London eventually. I assume he and Aidan will work something out. And Blake and I have been faking all of this this whole time. I know they all love the sex. But nobody has said anything about love to me.” And dammit, now I want to cry out of pure frustration.

I’m the one who is always up for a good time. And this has been a very good time. I know I can’t do a long-term relationship with even one guy. There’s no way I can juggle three.

But…I have been. Or rather, I’ve found three that don’t need to be juggled. They roll with all of the messy parts of my life, with my quirks, and they make things easier, better . They also take care of each other so I don’t have to worry about failing one of them. And they definitely take care of me . I’ve never felt this cared about in my entire life. Not only do they accept the ways I can make things more challenging, they find it endearing and strive to make it all easier. On me, not for themselves.

“Have you said anything about love to them ?” Dani asks.

I shake my head. “No."

“Well you should. And you should’ve talked about this wedding thing with Aidan and Simon,” Dani says. “Trust me, from experience I can tell you that communication is the most important thing.”

“Seriously,” Luna agrees. “Having a poly relationship has a lot of challenges. I mean, just the sheer amount of testosterone… And not in a good way all the time.” She shoots a glance at Cameron. He pretends to be watching the game and not listening, but when she turns back to me, I see his eye roll.

“But you're in a relationship with three different guys. Individual relationships. But then they’re also having relationships with each other. Obviously, in one case there’s a romantic relationship. But there’s also friendships with each of them and Blake. And then there’s the whole group dynamic. It’s honestly like you’re having four relationships all at once. One with each of them and then the group. And communication and respecting all of that and everyone’s place is the only way it works,” Luna says.

My heart is pounding, my stomach is in knots, and I have officially decided that falling in love sucks.

I frown at both of my dearest girlfriends. “You know what? I don’t need to hear any of this. I believe you, I think you’re doing an amazing job in your relationships, but mine is not the same. This is a temporary thing the four of us are doing. And it’s going to be over soon.”

“But—” Dani starts.

But I see Nathan reach over and put a hand on her leg, squeezing gently. She presses her lips together.

On my other side, I hear Cam lean in and say, “You made your point, Pixie, give her a minute.”

Thank you Nathan and Cameron.

I take a deep breath.

Thank God, just then Luna‘s boyfriend Alexsei shoots the puck down the ice to Crew, Dani’s husband and everyone’s attention is glued to the ice.

I know they mean well. I know they have experience and they know what they’re talking about.

And these are the women I would want to talk to if I actually had a long-term, committed poly relationship.

But, fortunately I do not. Because it sounds like a big headache, to be honest.

I’ll be single again soon. No more worries about the three men who have come in and turned my world upside down.

So, yeah, I’m really happy I avoided all of that long term.

Yep. Really, really happy.