Chapter 35

"We're going out," I said into my phone as I got into my car outside of Serenity's building. "I need to drink."

Lance chuckled. "What'd you do now?"

"Knock it off," I growled. "I didn't do shit, but apparently, that's a problem. Are you busy?"

"Nope. Come on over. I'm not going out, but I do have drinks at home. I'll have a whiskey waiting for you."

I hung up, gave his address to my driver, and sank back in the seat. My head shook as I glared out the window. I had no idea what'd happened back there, and I really didn't like not knowing. Clearly, I'd done something wrong when all I'd been trying to do was to stay out of whatever I'd walked in on.

I hadn't meant to intrude and I had figured he would leave faster if I didn't speak up. Given that I knew he wasn't a fan of the fact that she was moving on with me, I'd thought I was doing the right thing by trying to stay out of it, but evidently not.

When I got to Lance's townhouse, I went right in after he opened up and started ranting, telling him what'd happened at Serenity's. Instead of commiserating with me though, he handed over a tumbler of whiskey and then shook his head at me.

"I hate to say this, bud, but you fucked up," he said as we sat down across from one another at the small bar on his patio. "What were you thinking making it all about you?"

"I didn't know what the guy was like," I reasoned. "Well, I mean, I did. Sort of, but that's exactly why I did it. I was just trying to get him to leave faster. It wasn't like I could pretend I wasn't there to see her. I was carrying flowers, for God's sake. I thought I was doing damage control."

"I'm pretty sure that she didn't see it that way," he said. "If you'd told me what you said word for word without any explanation, I'd have thought you only cared about yourself. You should've been more careful, Dash."

My eyebrows twitched up. "How? If I'd said anything else, it would've become a whole thing, which is what I was trying to avoid for her sake. If I'd had my way, I'd have decked the guy. Or had him arrested, but if I had done any of that, he would've had more reasons to go after her."

He sighed, dragging a hand slowly through his hair as he thought it over. "Maybe, but you need to tell her what you just told me. You have to let her know that you didn't say it because you only care about yourself, but because you care about her."

"I tried, but she slammed the door in my face."

He grimaced. "Try harder and next time, think about what you're saying before you say it. After everything she's been through, she's not going to be interested in a man who's only in it for himself."

"I'm not, though."

"She doesn't know that," he reiterated. "Put yourself in her shoes for a minute and then think about that exchange again. She just got out of a relationship with a guy who viewed her more as a possession than a person from the sound of things. Ethan obviously didn't support her. He wasn't there for her. He didn't give a flying fuck about what she wanted or needed. Do you really think she's going to pursue a relationship with someone else who doesn't seem to give a flying fuck?"

"No, probably not," I admitted, closing my eyes before finishing the rest of my whiskey in one gulp. Lance poured me another and I looked at him. "When did you get to be so smart?"

He laughed. "That's an easy one. I've never been commitment-phobic."

"Neither am I," I said.

He scoffed at me. "You're thirty-three years old and you've never been in a serious relationship. Maybe you've never labeled it before, but you're at least mildly commitment-phobic."

"I'm not," I argued as I got started on my fresh drink. "I've just never met anyone I wanted to get serious with. There's phobia and then there's timing. In my case, I think the universe wanted me to be free for Serenity when she finally escaped from Ethan."

"Look at you getting all philosophical. I didn't think I'd live to see the day." He topped off his own whiskey. "Either way, you need to remember that words and actions have consequences now, bro. Serenity needs someone rock solid right now and if you can't be that, then step aside. Especially for someone with her background, you're going to have to really be there. Really prove to her that she can depend on you and that you're nothing like her ex."

"I'm not like him," I said, but I was starting to understand where he was coming from. "Let's say I agree with you, though. How do I stand by her side without overwhelming her or making her feel like I'm taking over? Because that won't go down well either."

"Then don't overwhelm her and don't take over," he said simply. "You've been there a lot for me in the past, Dash. You're always there for your mom. Your brothers. If you're serious about Serenity, it's time to make that circle bigger."

Draining the rest of my whiskey, I pushed the glass over to him for another refill. "There has to be more to it than that."

"Why?" he asked. "We're all people you care about and so is she. It's as simple as that. Don't overcomplicate it. You were wrong tonight. Make sure she knows that you know you were wrong. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, right? So your intentions earlier might've been good, but now at least you know where you're heading."

I cursed under my breath, but I really listened to everything he was saying while we had a couple more drinks. When I left, I wasn't drunk exactly, but I also wasn't entirely sober. Even so, I had my driver take me back to her apartment.

Lance was right. I had been wrong and I had to make amends. I texted her on my way over, but she didn't respond. That wasn't surprising though, considering how we'd left things. I decided to risk it anyway, going up to her penthouse and knocking on her door.

A few minutes later, I knocked again, but she didn't open up and there was no sound coming from the other side. Exhaling harshly, I realized that this would probably have to wait until tomorrow. She either wasn't home or she was already sleeping—or she'd seen me through the peephole and had decided against talking to me.

I waited a few more minutes anyway, hoping that if she was in there, she'd change her mind, but eventually, I left her alone. Deflated, I headed back to the elevator and pulled my phone out of my pocket. If she didn't want to see me, perhaps she'd read a message when she was ready.

Nodding to myself, I pressed the call button and started writing, but my fingers were stupid and it took me ages to get anything onscreen that made sense. When the elevator doors opened, I didn't look up until the sound of familiar laughter reached my ears.

My gaze snapped into the elevator and right there was Serenity and Julie. They'd been talking and laughing, singing some song until they saw me. The mood changed instantly, with Julie scowling like she was about to tackle me.

"You!" she seethed as she stalked toward me with her little hands clenched into fists at her sides. "You promised me you wouldn't hurt her! I helped you."

"I know." I blinked a few times to clear my swimming mind. Then I focused on Serenity over Julie's shoulder, leaning past her to hold the doors open. "I made it all about myself earlier and I shouldn't have. I should've told Ethan to stay away from you."

"You should've, but you didn't," she said dismissively, striding off the elevator with her head held high. She brushed past me. With her hand sliding into her purse, she withdrew her keys, unlocking the door without even looking at me. "Good night, Dash."

"No," I said, firmly but with a hint of pleading in my tone. "I was wrong, Serenity. I know that now. In that moment, all I wanted was for him to leave and I thought that staying out of it was the best way to make that happen, but I didn't think about how it might've sounded to you."

Her door opened, but I saw her shoulders rise on a deep breath before she slowly turned to face me. Despite the whiskey, I saw the hurt shining from her deep blues as she looked at me. "You're admitting that the way you handled that situation was wrong?"

"Without any hesitation," I said. "I had my reasons, but it's been brought to my attention that they're nothing but excuses. I don't want to make excuses. I was wrong and I'm taking full responsibility for it, and also, I'm sorry."

"You seem to say that a lot."

I sighed. "I know. I suspect I'm going to be apologizing to you often for at least a couple years. If you'll have me, that is. What I should've done earlier is tell him he was right. You're mine now, and unless he wants trouble, he has to stay away from us."

Serenity's gaze was locked on mine, and I held my breath waiting for her response. Waiting to find out if it was over or if she'd give me yet another chance, but Julie broke the moment, pushing past us and scowling at me over her shoulder once more.

"I'll wait for you inside, Serenity," she said, shaking her head at me before she turned and walked away.

Serenity shut the door, taking a step closer to push her fingers into my hair. "I can accept apologies. As long as they're genuine and heartfelt. I think this one is, so I accept. I know that we're new and that the situation with Ethan is difficult to navigate, but for the record, I'm not trying to involve you. I just need to know I can count on you."

"You can," I assured her, lowering my forehead to hers as I circled my arms around her hips. "I realize I need to work on proving it, but I'm here, Serenity. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to."

Toying with my hair, she tilted her head back and I kissed her deeply, pushing her up against the door as the kiss got heated. She leaned into me, moaning as she held me closer. My tongue swept into her mouth, my hips pushing forward into her until I abruptly broke away.

"Thank you for hearing me out, Serenity. I should probably go now, though. Unless you want to kick Julie out?"

She sighed softly, then shook her head. "I want you, but I can't do that to her. Also, you're very drunk and I want you to be sober when we have make-up sex."

Her teeth sank into her lower lip as she tried to hide a smile and it drove me mad, but I pushed away from her anyway. "I'll see you soon, baby. Apologize to Julie on my behalf, please. She'll have my balls otherwise."

Serenity giggled, nodding as she reached behind her to open the door. "I have plans for those balls, so I'll tell her. Get home safe, Dash. We'll talk tomorrow."

With that, she slipped into her apartment and I heard her locking the door behind her. Leaving with a raging hard-on and an intense need to hold her, I blew out a heavy breath and climbed into the elevator, relieved that she'd forgiven me again but knowing I was going to have to up my game.

If I wanted to hang onto her, there was no two ways about it. I was going to have to do better. Apologizing would only get me so far. At some point, I was going to have to just stop constantly doing things that I had to apologize for.