24. Levi

24

LEVI

L evi woke with the dawn, and had just enough time to gaze at a still-sleeping baby Flora for a little while.

The big window behind her crib showed him a vision of his own backyard that looked like something dreamed up for a movie or a fairytale. Each tree was encased in glittering ice, and it looked like the rhododendrons were made of crystals.

Maybe Andrea won’t make it in this weather .

But he thought about what he would do to get to Flora if he had been away from her, and he knew she would find a way.

After a few peaceful minutes, Flora furrowed her brow in her sleep and began to wiggle and stretch herself awake.

“Good morning,” he told her softly. “Merry Christmas.”

She opened her eyes and smiled at him radiantly, dimples forming on her chubby cheeks .

“ Gah bah bah gah ,” she told him, wiggling her fingers at him to take her out of the crib.

He eased her through her diaper change and then found her a pretty pink dress and leggings, as well as the sparkly, fluffy booties Lily had chosen for her. He was thankful that Flora cooperated with being dressed today, instead of fighting the leggings for all she was worth, like she sometimes did.

“What a good baby you are,” he told her.

She squeaked back at him and grabbed for his face, chuckling to herself like she had made a good joke.

When he picked her up again, she curled herself right onto his hip like she was made to be there, and he slipped downstairs as quietly as he could, hoping to let Lily get some rest while he started some breakfast for everyone. But Levi was too big to really sneak on the wooden steps, and he winced when he hit the creaky one.

By the time he got to the landing and was greeted by the welcome scent of coffee, he knew he didn’t need to keep trying to be quiet. The radio in the kitchen was playing "Let it Snow,” and he could hear Lily singing along carelessly, the sound of a pan sliding on the burner punctuating the melody here and there.

“Merry Christmas,” he called out, not wanting to scare her.

“Merry Christmas,” she called back to him. “You guys are up early.”

“ Bah, ” Flora replied. “ Mee-bah-bah .”

He hurried into the kitchen and had to stop for a second just to take in the sight of Lily flipping pancakes at the stove, a big smile on her face, and his ring on her finger.

“I could get used to this,” he teased, waggling his eyebrows.

“Pancakes are easy,” she said thoughtfully. “So, yes, you can get used to this.”

He threw his head back and laughed, which made Flora chuckle too.

“Who is the cutest baby in the whole world?” Lily demanded.

Flora let loose a string of delighted syllables.

“Oh no,” Lily said. “I don’t have her presents with me.”

“I don’t think she’ll notice,” Levi teased. “We can get her mom’s address and send them.”

Lily nodded and bit her lip, looking as heartbroken as he felt.

“Maybe we can visit too,” he added. “It might be nice to drop off presents in person, if Andrea doesn’t mind.”

Lily smiled bravely and he wished he could kiss that smile.

“Besides,” he added. “We have the teddy bear you helped me choose for her. And I have something else for her too.”

Suddenly, he felt self-conscious about it. What if Lily thought the bracelet was a silly gift for a baby? Or what if she didn’t want someone else’s child to be wearing the companion jewelry to her engagement ring?

“What is it?” she asked.

“I’ll just grab it now,” he said before he could change his mind.

“Okay, I’ll finish these up,” she told him.

She returned her attention to the pancakes, so he headed into the living room and grabbed the wrapped teddy bear and the little velvet bag Valerie had given him from under the Christmas tree. The tiny bag felt unusually heavy in his hand.

When he and Flora returned to Lily, she had just put the last of the pancakes onto a big serving plate.

“We can eat first,” he offered.

“No way,” Lily said with a smile, placing a large mixing bowl over the plate to keep the pancakes warm. “It’s Christmas morning. This baby needs her presents. I can hold her while you show her what she got.”

Lily sat at the kitchen table with Flora on her knee, both of them smiling expectantly at him.

“I think this first,” he said, holding the little bag in the palm of his hand.

Lily and Flora both eyed it with interest.

“You’ve spent only a little time with us, Flora,” he said, trying hard not to get choked up. “But we’ll remember you forever. This is something to help you remember us.”

He slid the bracelet out of the bag, and it sparkled in the palm of his hand.

“Oh Levi,” Lily breathed.

“It’s the same stone you have in your ring,” he said softly, looking down at it wistfully. “I hope that’s okay.”

“It’s more than okay,” she told him. “I love that she’ll have a little piece of us to take with her.”

It took a few tries to get Flora to hold still for her bracelet, but once it was on she gave it a wide-eyed look and then chattered to it for a minute, before waving her arms around happily.

“Now how about a toy ?” Levi said.

Flora was interested in the pretty wrapping paper, but she was definitely too little to rip it all open, so he helped her, revealing the soft teddy bear Lily had been certain she would love.

Sure enough, Flora squealed with rapture, and when he handed it to her, she immediately pulled it close and nuzzled it.

“What a great day,” Lily said. “We’re so lucky we got to have a Christmas with you, Flora.”

Levi could see the sorrow in her eyes battling with the joy.

“Let’s have some breakfast,” she suggested.

“Stay with her,” Levi said. “The least I can do is serve it.”

But the doorbell rang before he could get up.

Lily’s eyes met his and they shared a moment of sadness before he put on a smile and headed through the hallway to get to the office and the front door.

When he opened it, there was Andrea, looking so much more like he remembered her from back in the days when they served together.

“Merry Christmas,” she said with a smile.

“Merry Christmas,” he told her, pulling her into a hug. “You look fantastic.”

“I feel much better than last time I was here,” she said, glancing down at her feet for a moment.

“I still can’t believe you made it all the way to me when you were feeling so low,” he told her firmly. “You’re an amazing mother.”

Suddenly, she was wearing her old, crooked smile and a little glow of pride that she had more than earned.

“Come on,” he told her. “Let’s go find Flora. Lily’s here too.”

She nodded and they headed down the hall beside the office and back to the kitchen, where Lily held Flora in her arms, offering her tiny bites of pancake.

“Andrea,” Lily said with a big smile. “Merry Christmas. It’s so good to see you again.”

“I can’t thank you enough,” Andrea said to Lily, her voice deep with emotion. “Hey, Flora.”

Levi couldn’t help noticing the tired note in her voice when she said her daughter’s name. And just like last time, she didn’t reach for her baby.

He could certainly understand now how much a little baby could wear a person out. He felt a pang of worry that it might be too much for Andrea again.

“Listen,” he heard himself say. “I’ve got a spare room where we put her crib. Do you two just want to stay here for a while? It might be nice to ease back in, right?”

Lily’s eyes met his and she gave him a relieved smile.

But Andrea shook her head, her eyes on Flora, a sorrowful look on her face.

“I hate to tell you all this when you’ve just sacrificed so much to help us,” she said. “But being away gave me the space to realize that I’m… not ready to be a mom. I love her too much to risk that I won’t be strong enough for her. ”

She stopped for a moment to swipe a tear from her eye with her sleeve.

“I need to get back to the Army,” she said. “I have a purpose there, and it keeps me healthy and focused. I thought maybe I could do it all, go back in and be her mom on my own, but… seeing the photos you sent me all this time, and how happy she was. Well, that’s what she deserves, a family that’s ready for her, and really wants her. I’m not asking you two, of course, with where you are in your careers and your relationship. But I want Flora to have something like what she’s had with you, a place where she belongs and she’s safe, and where she’s loved no matter what. I already started talking to a service about the possibility of adoption.”

Levi met Lily’s eyes again, a sense of disbelief coursing through him. Her eyes were as pleading as he imagined his were.

“We want her,” he said quickly. “We want her more than anything.”

Andrea’s brow furrowed, and she glanced over at Lily, as if she expected her to back down from what he had said.

Instead, Lily held up her hand.

“Levi proposed to me last night,” she said softly. “We already love Flora with all our hearts. It would be our honor to adopt her, if you decide it’s what you want.”

“She will always have a safe home with us, and we will love her no matter what,” Levi added, making sure Andrea knew they would give Flora exactly what she wanted her to have. “And of course you’ll be welcome to stay in touch and visit as much as you want.”

He held his breath, waiting for her to tell him she had to think about it, or that she didn’t want her precious daughter to go to a couple who had been engaged for less than twenty-four hours.

“It’s the same as her little bracelet,” Andrea said softly, gazing at Lily’s ring.

“We wanted her to have something to remember us by,” Lily said softly, placing her hand on Andrea’s. “Something she could take with her always, and maybe feel just a little bit of the love we have for her whenever she wears it.”

Lily’s voice broke on the last part, and then Andrea was weeping too, dropping her face into her hands. Levi moved to his old friend, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

“Thank God,” she sobbed. “And thank you, Levi Williams.”

“Hey,” he said, feeling tears prickle in his own eyes. “Thank you .”

Lily joined their hug, with baby Flora snuggled in too, perfectly content as the adults all shed bittersweet tears.

When they were all cried out, Levi took the baby and Lily put a few more pancakes on a plate for Andrea while Levi caught her up on all of Flora’s adventures.

“She’s so happy,” Andrea said, smiling down at the little one. “This was meant to be.”

“It really was,” Lily told her, setting a generous plate of pancakes in front of her, and taking her own seat. “More than you know, since I can’t have children of my own.”

Andrea looked up at her in wonder, shaking her head .

“I needed heart surgeries when I was a child,” Lily said. “My heart is fine now, but I would be passing along the risk that my child might need the same, and they might not be as lucky as I was.”

“So, Lily and I were already planning to adopt,” Levi said, smiling at Lily across the table.

Flora chose that moment to let out a happy yell and then slam her little fist on the table for more pancakes.

Levi found himself laughing, in spite of all the tears the three of them had shed today. However they all felt, Flora was reminding them that life marched on, with hardly a moment to mourn or celebrate.

They had to keep embracing it all and enjoying every moment they had together. And that was just what he planned to do.