Chapter 30

THIRTY

SOPHIE

Sophie hugged Maya goodbye, thanked her for the ride to the cruise dock, and looked up at the mammoth vessel resting on the Puget Sound. She’d seen cruise ships sailing by before, but she’d never been this close to one. The ship was as big as a city, the size almost incomprehensible.

Incomprehensible—like the last five days of her life. From the moment the client had approved, at the literal final second, everyone had pitched in—including people not assigned to the campaign. Various project managers covered meetings and consolidated notes for Sophie. The social team worked overnight to get everything ready for launch. The web team coded until five in the morning.

And this morning at exactly 1:01 a.m., the ad launched with minimal errors. Enough so that Malcolm said the team members not going on the cruise could cover whatever else was needed. Sophie had enough lingering adrenaline to pack, crash, and get to the ship.

For the next seven days, she didn’t want to look at a phone, a laptop, a screen, anything even remotely digital. Her irises would shrivel up and fall out if she had to read anything that wasn’t a smutty romance book. Her soul craved seeing the world outside of an open-floor concept office. And though she really liked her co-workers, and the cruise was supposed to be used for research, she planned on avoiding the team as much as humanly possible.

After waving off the deck to the cheering people on the pier—a bucket list item crossed off the list—Sophie strolled the ship. The cruise ship horn blasted goodbye to the land, and the sunshine-filled breeze hit her face as she made her way past shops and food, so much food , mini golf, pools, and spas. She was going to get a massage, join that damn knitting circle, and eat buckets of carb-laden food.

At the buffet, she plunked down at a table and filled herself with sashimi salmon, yakisoba, mangos, and two scoops of peppermint chocolate ice cream with shaved chocolate.

“God, this is delicious…” she said to a fellow traveler as she held her full belly.

She studied artwork on the wall, looked at jewelry from a vendor, and read the hypnotist performance schedule. When her belly settled, she returned to her room, and ordered more room service. Because, holy balls, room service was free! She could order anything she wanted, at any time, and they just brought it. Her inner child screamed with delight while her adult practical self tried to not be too gluttonous.

And then she slept. She slept so long she didn’t even know the time. The rocking of the ship was peaceful, like an adult bassinet, pushing her into the type of sleep that seeped into her bones. Tucked away in a dark room, the only sounds surrounding her were wind and the ocean slurping against the vessel. She slept so long that when she woke up, the sky was black.

She wrapped a hooded sweatshirt around herself and slipped out onto the balcony. The sway of the ship put her in a trance, and the saltwater sprayed and misted her lips. She licked the salt from her mouth and stared at the moon and stars illuminating the sky.

The tension she’d carried for years slowly melted, allowing her brain to wander. For so long she’d chased the corporate dream, and now that she had it, was she truly happy? Did she want it? She wasn’t unhappy , but she was aware that she wasn’t living her best life.

The sound of the lapping waves continued. She retrieved a blanket and returned to the balcony, snuggling herself into the chair. She exhaled and tried to break down the key moments in her life that led her to where she was today.

For so long she’d wanted to find her soulmate. Or maybe, had wanted her soulmate to be dropped into her lap. And she had . She was ready to be in love, ready to open up her heart, and she knew Ella was the missing piece in her life. But Ella had not reached out, and clearly that meant Sophie felt more for Ella than the other way around. And yes, of course she understood that she didn’t know what recovery from a seizure looked like. But it had been nearly two weeks. Wasn’t that enough?

And yet… she wasn’t ready to give up. Ella deserved more. I deserve more. Sophie would take these days, sleep good, eat good, and properly relax. She’d watch the sea, explore Alaska, and go hiking. And when she returned, she would try again to talk with Ella.

The fresh air and natural white noise made her yawn, and she moved back inside and curled under the covers. When she woke again, the sun was bright and full. She showered, taking the time to properly scrub. She put on a cute outfit, did her makeup, even polished her nails—everything she’d been neglecting, and everything that made her feel just a bit more human.

“Good afternoon.” She smiled to the bellhop as she made her way to a restaurant.

At the buffet, she entered major decision fatigue. Smoked salmon, roasted potatoes, meats, cheeses, an omelette station, crepes, and hash browns. She loaded her plate with the fried deliciousness in honor of Ella. Her mouth salivated as she tucked herself away in a corner on the upper deck to face the ocean.

She’d always wanted to see the ocean like this, and it didn’t disappoint. The ocean was both forgiving and unforgiving. This vast, powerful entity where you could throw in all your hopes and dreams, and it wouldn’t judge you. The water could destroy you or give you life. Make you breathe or drown you.

Today, the ocean provided hope. She breathed in. The salty air prickled her nose with a delicious burn. She bit into the hash browns and grinned. They were delicious, probably made with grass-fed butter and flaky sea salt, but they would never beat the dive breakfast joint she and Ella went to. She closed her eyes, thinking of that day a lifetime ago, and blew a wish into the water that she’d take Ella there again.

Footsteps approached behind her, and she barely noticed among the travelers, silverware clanking, and servers rushing to clean tables. But when the shadow hovered, she almost turned around.

“These hash browns are good, for sure. But I know of a place in Green Lake that does them better.”

No way. Maybe a conversation from a different table got stuck in the wind. Sophie was scared to turn around, scared to look, scared she was hallucinating.

But she did, and her heart leapt right into her throat.