Prologue

Iwish I could say my life was black. At least black has some substance to it, some depth. At the very least, it gives an emotion, a feeling, something behind the darkness. A hope that life could get better and change in some way. You just have to see the light.

But it would be wrong to describe my life like that. My life was gray. Gray is the absence of color. It's just so…so…blah. I mean, take the gray and add any color; all you get is more gray. It's nothing. It's boring, uneventful, an empty space. Yep, my life was gray. That was until he came and changed it.

Like a world to his own, he entered my life, my safe space and he took everything from me, stripped away all I was until it was just him. Those intense eyes bare down on me, thrilling me to the darkest depths of my soul. I always feel like I am drowning in them, but I didn't know what that was like until tonight.

I used to think it was an amazing feeling, but drowning in someone is frightening, heartbreaking, and just simply tragic. You lose all ability to think clearly, you can't breathe, you can't make decisions, and your body and mind just shut down on themselves.

When he used to look at me, it felt like he was breathing air into my lungs, but now it's different. I always knew he would take me to new heights of pleasure. What I didn't realize was that he would show me real pain, too.

That voice that carried hate and bitterness also carried lust, passion, and love. He turned my life into colors.

I was blinded by it.

Na?ve.

I just didn't realize the color I would be left with was blood red and that it would stain my soul. I knew from the moment he revealed his secret I would stand by him and watch him burn the world. I would stand and watch the ashes fall to the ground and bury anyone who stood in our way. I never realized the fire burning the world down around us would catch and harm the people I love.

This summer was meant to be the best summer of my life. I was spending it with my best friends and the man I had loved since I was five. He was meant to be my prince charming, my happily ever after.

Instead, my entire world crumbled around me. My own selfishness and idiocy are the reasons I'm covered in blood and losing the one person in my life who loved me more than they do anyone or anything else.

"Please don't leave me," I plead, sobbing as his blood soaks my shirt like spilled juice. It's hot and surprisingly sticky. It's a funny thought to have as he lays there dying in my arms, what his blood feels like. My tears fall on his face as I hold him in my arms, rocking him to me. The pit in my stomach grows every moment as I look at him.

This is all my fault. I should have taken the chance I had while I still could have.

"I can't do this without you," I choke out.

He raises his hand and caresses my cheek. His touch is cold against my warm skin in the hot night air, and that's not how it should be. His touch is usually hot, caring, and sweet, but this is wrong. So, fucking wrong. His touch usually makes me feel safe and loved, but now it does nothing to chase my cares or fears away.

"Please, why won't anyone help?" I scream at those around me.

This has to be a dream; I need to wake up.

Why won't I wake up?

They all stand there watching. They're not doing anything. I hear someone scream, and I watch her fall to her knees. I'll never forget that scream. That will haunt me until the day I die. It's harrowing, the one you hear and know there's no point in trying. You can feel the pain, the loss, the torment, and I know no one will help because there's nothing we can do.

This is it. I look over at my friend on her knees; she knows the same as me. I look at her—broken, crying as her dark angel holds her. This isn't real. She's not like this. She's always so strong, the one that faces the world and screams at it, but now she's just as damaged as me.

"Baby," I look down at his face, that gorgeous face that always makes me feel safe and loved. "Please don't go, don't do this, you're going to be okay, just hold on, please," I plead with him as if begging will do anything against this heartless act.

He smiles softly, "I'm sorry for what I said, Brooke. I love you."

My tear lands on his cheek. "I love you too," I whisper, "so you have to stay with me, okay?"

He spits blood out of his mouth, and it runs down his chin. I try desperately to wipe it away. I can hear him gagging on it as it fills his lungs. His hand drops from my face with a sudden thud to the ground, so deafening I will never forget it.

That will be the last sound I ever hear from him. Not his laugh, not my name on his lips, not him poking fun at me or trying to make me feel better. Just a loud, dull thud of his hand as it lands in the sand around us.

I can hear the sirens in the background. Help is coming, but it's too late. You're meant to hear those and feel hope, but my hope just died along with the only one who loved me so purely and without fault.

I'm done being the innocent princess. I'm done being that na?ve little girl. I can feel the cold seep in, taking root deep inside me, making me its new home. Like the blood seeping into my jeans, this cold seeps into my soul, my very being, every little crack. I gently slip my hands from around him, leaving him on the ground.

I don't get up. I don't think my feet would hold me if I tried. Instead, I embrace the cold and darkness and pray it makes me numb for what I need to do. I feel arms pull me up off the ground, locking me in their embrace as they pull me to their chest to look away. They expect me to break down, to sob, but the tears stop coming. There's nothing left inside of me. I just look at him on the ground. He's gone. That's just a shell lying there.

They will pay. Every single person involved. I'm not a princess anymore. They'll learn I'm the fucking queen, and every single one of them will bow down to me and cower in fear before I destroy them.

And anyone who tries to stop what's about to happen will regret the day they crossed paths with me, including the man holding me in his arms right now because every single one of them is to blame.