Chapter 30

30

Aurora – Three and a Half Months Later

I smile a little as I fold Harlen's little onesie, placing it in on the changing table.

Harlen Billy Taylor.

Named after his uncle Snake, Hunter Harlen Taylor, and my father.

He's due in three weeks, but I've been feeling little contractions all day, not that I've told Theo that. Last month, I was getting Braxton Hicks contractions, and the idiot admitted me into the hospital. He wouldn't let me leave for nearly a flipping week, he even moved Autumn into my hospital room, the poor kid.

I take a deep breath as another contraction hits and curl over a little.

"Crap, that one was stronger," I murmur to myself, checking my watch.

They're still twenty minutes apart, so it's not time yet.

Sighing, I take the clothes to the drawers in the nursery, and then look around. The walls are a very light blue and pink mixed. A circle crib sits on a massive rug with motorcycles stitched on it, in the middle of the room.

The nursery was supposed to hold two babies, but now it'll only be for one.

My heart hurts at the reminder.

I don't know how I'm going to cope when I have this little one. Emily and Hannah have both been trying to help me, but, in the end, my little boy will have that feeling of loss from his sister, and there's nothing I'll be able to do about it other than love him with everything I have.

Wiping away a few stray tears, I turn and leave the nursery, heading downstairs to the living room. I look around the room, ensuring everything is ready for Harlen.

His swing is next to the couch, a playmat underneath the window, and the new coffee table, which has drawers already full of diapers and wipes.

I don't think I'll be any more ready than I am.

With Autumn, he refused to do anything, only bought me what I needed, worried about being caught out, but this time around, Harlen will have everything.

Nodding in approval, I go to the kitchen, feeling a little bit hungry. As I near the kitchen nook, another contraction hits, and I grab the counter, breathing through it, suddenly feeling happy that my dad and Steel came down and took Autumn out for a few hours.

The Huntsmen MC brothers and their women call several times daily, telling me everything I've missed and how much they've missed me.

Most of the women want me to come home, and then Theo spends over ten minutes giving them reasons why I can't, and if I tried, he'd tie me to the bed.

The last time he threatened it, I asked if he was going to follow through with it, shocking him and myself, before he snapped out of it and did indeed tie me to the bed while he pleasured me for a good few hours.

Damn, that man knows how to play with my body….

The contraction subsides, and I stand up, take deep breaths, and check my watch.

"Damn, now eight minutes apart. That was quick," I mutter, and I call Doc.

He answers on the second ring, "Please tell me you're not having Braxton Hicks again because I don't want to spend a week at the hospital and away from my girl."

I chuckle and mutter, "Uh, no, I'm not, but I am having contractions. Have been all day, but now they're eight minutes apart. I haven't told Theo yet."

"Let me guess, you're still adamant about a home birth and want to wait until the last moment to tell him," Doc summarizes, and I laugh, not one bit sorry.

He sighs, but I cut in before he can convince me the hospital is the best place, "Autumn's birth was hard, for obvious reasons. This one is going to be a bittersweet moment. We get to meet our son while mourning the fact we won't meet our daughter. I don't want to be in the hospital with all the conflicted feelings, and seeing pity on the nurse's faces. Please, Doc, I want a home birth…."

I hear a smack, then a grunt, and Doc curses, "Fuck's sake, Ken, I was going to agree with her."

I chuckle as Ken's voice comes through the receiver, "We both know that's bull crap."

I gasp suddenly when another contraction hits, and Doc rasps, "I'm guessing this one was quicker?"

Breathing through the contraction, I check the time and mutter, "Yeah, five…."

He curses and asks, "And your water?"

I swallow hard, the contraction hitting stronger, and I gasp out, "Still intact."

Doc curses as Kennedy shouts, "We're on our way, Rory!"

The phone goes dead as the front door opens, and Theo's voice travels through the kitchen, making my eyes widen.

"Firecracker, where you at? I hear we have the house to ourselves, so I left work early…."

Dammit!

Theo walks into the kitchen, looking delicious in his wife beater, cut, and jeans. My eyes take him in as his hands grip the doorframe above his head.

Damn, if only I weren't in labor…. Though sex could break my water.

"Caught you sneaking into the kitchen again, huh?" He smirks, but his eyes widen when fluid gushes down my bare legs, his mouth hanging open in shock.

Okay, never mind.

I give him an innocent smile, trying to ignore what has just happened, knowing I'm in trouble, and whisper, "Well, you know me, I love my food."

He snaps his jaw shut, the muscles twitching, and he growls, "Please fucking tell me you haven't been having contractions all day."

The door opens again, but Theo doesn't move, only glares at me, and I reply, "Sure, I won't tell you I've been having contractions all day." I try to direct him elsewhere and ask, "So you, uh, came home early?"

He growls as Doc rushes into the kitchen, stops abruptly, looks between us, and then his eyes go to the floor.

"Ah crap," he mutters before looking at Theo and stating, "Brother, as much as I know you want to throw a fit, right now is not the time."

Theo shakes his head, and starts to pace as another contraction hits. I swallow my gasp as he snaps, "No! I wanted to go to the fucking hospital!"

I take a deep breath then snap, "And I wanted a home birth without the pity!"

He flinches, and I immediately feel guilty. I didn't mean to snap but these contractions flipping hurt.

Theo's eyes soften, and he asks with absolute pain, "And what if something goes wrong and we lose our son like we lost our daughter?" Oh my heart, the vulnerability in his eyes…. "What if everything goes wrong, Rory? If we lose him, then I know I'll lose you, and I-I can't fucking live without you…."

Everything inside me hurts at his admission. These are the fears he's held onto, keeping them from me.

"Brother," Doc rasps, "I promise I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure your baby comes into the world safely. Ken will also be here in a moment; she's just getting everything we need."

Theo drops his head with a sigh, and my tears fall.

Yet again, I'm only thinking about myself and not the man who gave me everything, including his heart.

"Theo, I…" I start but gasp and bend over, clutching the counter as another contraction hits.

"Fuck," I hear Theo snap before strong arms grab me, and a musky, woodsy smell hits my senses. I grip Theo's cut as he lifts me bridal style.

"It hurts," I cry out, and he curses again, carrying me through the house. I tense, thinking he's about to walk out the door, even though right now, if he did, I couldn't hold it against him.

He's been so strong for me. Even after finding out about my past, he held onto me tightly and kept his emotions in check, except for the four hours that day. He deserves someone to be strong for him, but instead of going outside, he takes me upstairs, and I whisper, "Theo…."

He shakes his head. "Don't, Rory. I'm fucking angry at you, but I won't hold your wishes against you. I can't. I haven't got it in me to do so."

My tears fall as he lays me on our bed, then removes my soaked underwear for me.

I cry, "I'm sorry…."

God, I'm so selfish.

He gives me a smile. "I love you, Rory."

I go to reply but gasp instead and cry out as the urge to push hits me, and Theo curses, shouting, "Doc!"

Doc rushes into the room with Kennedy, who is carrying several bags. Kennedy grins and cheerfully states, "Let's have a baby, shall we?"

Panic hits me, and I pray and hope I haven't made the wrong decision to have a home birth.

I can't lose this baby like I lost his sister….

"Three hours of pushing…you're amazing, Firecracker," Theo rasps from behind me, and I smile, gently stroking my hand over our son's bald head.

"He's perfect," I whisper, a few tears falling. I hate myself right now, because all I can think about is if his sister would look just like him.

Theo kisses my head, his hand going to our son's back. "Don't feel guilty, Firecracker. You're allowed to wonder because I am, too."

I smile a little. "You always know what I'm thinking…."

Harlen coos, making me smile.

Theo murmurs, "Always. You're my heart and soul. Also, honestly, I'm thinking the same, but I also feel blessed because we have this gorgeous little boy. He'll be the heart of our family and the reminder of his sister. She'll be in him every day."

I nod, my eyes taking in Harlen and how amazing he is as I lay my head back on my husband's chest.

"When is Autumn coming?" I ask.

He kisses my head and whispers, "She'll be here in the next hour. Momma said she's trying to find the perfect gift for her baby brother…."

I smile, not taking my eyes off Harlen.

"I'm sorry I didn't take your feelings into count. I was only thinking about myself, I?—"

Theo cuts me off, "You have every right to think only about yourself, Rory. You were held for a year, and then on the run for two more, before you finally settled here. You have every right to put yourself first."

I sniffle. "But you have every right to be able to speak, and voice your fears."

He wraps his arm tightly around me, and whispers, "I voice them when I think they need voicing, Firecracker. I won't stress you."

I shake my head. "No, you should always voice them to me, no matter what. We're a team, Theo."

He hums. "I'll learn, Rory, I promise."

I nod and tilt my head, placing my lips to his jaw. I whisper, "I love you…."

Moving his head so his lips brush against mine, he replies, "I love you, too, Firecracker, always."

Smiling, I close my eyes as I gently run my fingers over our son's back. My head snuggly underneath my husband's chin, and I feel content. I know that feeling will strengthen when Autumn gets home.

I'll forever feel grateful that this amazing man fought so hard to have me in his life, to make me his.

I'll never take this man for granted, and from this moment onward, I will always put him first, as he deserves.