37. “You will fly away and become a lost dream…”

Chapter 37

"You will fly away and become a lost dream…"

ZENYA

"It's Not Over" by Secondhand Serenade

"The Other Side" by Ruelle

"The Offering" by Sleep Token

"Ocean Eyes" by Billie Eilish

" N o."

I shake my head furiously and ball my hands into fists. "This is not happening!" I raise my voice, spinning my head toward all of them.

Rage consumes my blood as I deny the sight of Ivy dying while Phantasos rocks her, singing to her and telling her about his next Drag Queen.

"You're all just fucking standing around. And I won't let this happen." Hot tears of righteous wrath burn through my eyes. "I won't stand by and watch her die in this nightmare in the Realm of Dreams and Magic when that little girl—when her heart is bigger than all of ours and all her dreams deserve to come true!"

All their postures are defeated. Their eyes lowered with shame and remorse. Fuck, why aren't they doing anything?

Thanatos takes one step toward Ivy, slowly, so slowly with his shoulders seeming heavier than ever. When he removes his hood this time, there is no skull. My heart seizes at the sight of the most beautiful man I have ever seen. More beautiful than even Nyxion or Morpheus. His skin, dark, umber, and lustrous, long silver hair swept away from his face, eyes bearing more wisdom and peace and dark power to transcend all of time.

Ivy whimpers again, Phantasos rocks her stronger, clutching the back of her head to his chest. "I've got you, Ivy. I'm so glad you followed me."

"Fuck you!" I shout to no one before I turn back to Thanatos, glaring icy daggers at him.

Six strides. I count each one like the pounding of my heart as I storm toward him and step right in his path. Out of the corner of my eye, the other three move toward me, their fear palpable.

Thanatos raises one hand. One silent command for them not to interfere. Instead, he meets my gaze with an omnipotence in his golden eyes—so gold, they shimmer like treasure. "Yes, little stranger."

My breath catches at the word, the true meaning of my name. "You're going to delay Ivy's death. I command it."

"Hmm," he does not respond with anger or a force of power. No, everything about him is serene. Too serene, it nearly calms my nerves, but I grow every infuriated one back. "Tell me why I will do such a thing, Zenya."

"Because I will show you why. And I know how curious Death can be. Will you let me show you, Thanatos? Please?" I finally offer up a thread of desperation, however wrapped in determination.

My entire soul holds its breath. My world is suspended in this eye of a storm only he and I know and feel. Ivy's whimpers, Thanatos's words of comfort…everything fades away.

Death's golden eyes deepen upon mine. Ice crystals like beautiful patterns of frost creep along his robe.

In one moment, he nods and lifts his palm toward mine. "Show me."

Summoning my deepest breath and resolve of steel, I envision the exact place I want to go and touch my palm to his.

A second later, we've shadow-traveled faster than ever. One second ago, I was in Hecate's castle. Now, we are standing in a hospital room. Invisible to all. A mother and father kneel on each side of the little blonde girl who lies comatose on the bed, an intubation tube in her throat. Others have gathered around the bed. Brothers and sisters, uncles and aunts, grandparents. Friends wait outside the doors.

Her parents are crying. Because they sense this is the end of their little girl.

I'm crying with them.

Thanatos cups my shoulder and says, "What do you wish of me, Zenya?"

No hesitations. No reserves. With hellbound resolve in all my heart and soul, I lock my eyes onto his, stab a finger at the most beautiful, little girl I've ever had the blessing to know, and proclaim, "Give. Her. My. Soul."

The icy breath of Death curls across my face, writing invisible warnings like veins of sinister frost.

"Do you understand what you are asking?" Death's voice is low and resonant, carrying the weight of countless souls.

"Yes, you prick with your goddamn, dick sickle," I spit out, impatient. Every sound from Ivy's bedroom is like a knife digging into my ears. "I don't care as long as Ivy lives." I keep my voice steady despite the fear gnawing at my insides.

I could transplant my soul back into my body, forget all this pain and torture. I wouldn't remember the horrors of the Abyss. I wouldn't remember how I relived the worst nightmare of my life. It would be so simple. But even with my memory, I would never want to live in a world where Ivy can not. She deserves the world far more than me.

"You have no anchor here," he tells me, his tone grave and unyielding. "You will fly away and become a lost dream, and no one can stop it."

"Will this take away my alters?" I ask, my heart quivering, desperation in my words.

"No," he says, his eyes dark and inscrutable, but it brings relief to my shoulders. "They are too strong of entities in your mind and your heart. They will float away with you, and you will become nothing more than energy sharing energy with them."

We are with you, Zenya, Eclipse tells me. We love Ivy, too. And she deserves to live.

We all do.

My resolve only hardens. So I take a deep breath, pit my eyes to his, and declare, "Do it."

Thanatos nods solemnly.

He produces the artifact tool, and I don't bother asking how he obtained it. It seems to gleam more in his hands.

"Turn around, stranger," he directs.

Once I do, he places a firm hand on the back of my neck, shifting my hair to one side. With a swift, deliberate motion, he cuts the Eye of Morpheus from the base of my spinal cord. A tingly dark sensation spreads from the cut, a strange mix of numbness and cold, as if shadows are creeping under my skin. But then they escape. The Eye is cut, and I understand I will never dream weave again.

"It's beautiful," I whisper.

So many colors shifting like a dream caught in a prism. The Eye is a deep, unsettling violet, with flecks of gold and silver that pulse and swirl, reminding me of distant stars trapped in a nebula. Delicate, spider-webbing of black diamond-like grains encase the Eye, pulsating with a rhythmic, hypnotic throb.

It's difficult to believe that otherworldly force was inside me, the embodiment of Morpheus. I like to believe that a part of my soul will always remember his. And Nyxion's.

Thanatos takes his sickle in hand and lifts it toward my face. "Eyes are the windows to the soul," he begins, voice soft but unwavering. A deep shiver rushes down my spine, spreading ice through me. "Every cut must be flawless. This will not hurt, but you will lose your vision. Once I do this, there is no going back."

I nod, blink once, then open my eyes as wide as possible, granting him the fullest access. Focused on the ice growing from his skull, I notice a couple of dead rose petals encased within the ice. My thoughts stray as I wonder why they are significant.

Thanatos slowly touches the edge of the blade to the corner of my eye. The blade is sharp and precise, designed for more than mere reaping. He makes clean, surgical incisions, his movements almost graceful in their precision.

As he slowly removes my soul, a bright flash of light like lightning sears my vision. I'd swear it feels like liquid ice and fire are escaping my eyes.

My soul itself emerges. I gasp at the glorious sight. Luminous and swirling, it thrums like a heartbeat and reminds me of a small star—but a star with thousands of iridescent tendrils curling from the radiant core.

My vision begins to dim, the world around me blurring into darkness. The last thing I see is Thanatos embedding my soul through Ivy's eyes, the connection formed in a brilliant, ethereal glow.

Ivy opens her eyes.

"They're so blue," I murmur right before blackness eclipses my eyes, and my heart grows wings until I'm floating in the air.