36. These will be my last words to you, my little killer.

Chapter 36

These will be my last words to you, my little killer.

NYXION

"If You Only Knew" by Shinedown

"Take Aim" by Sleep Token

I t's the first time I rise from the table.

Zenya's wide eyes are fixated on the towering figure of my father with his great owl wings and skull. His majestic and terrifying presence bewilders her, but I don't believe it's true fear. Beastie's black eyes would merge if so, but Zenya is more dumbfounded.

The shadows deepen around him. Hypnos strides forward, his talons clicking against the marble floor.

The others stand, except for Phantasos, who slinks down in his seat and drinks his wine.

I approach Zenya, flexing my bony fingers and daring to cup her shoulders. She startles, purses her lips, and glances back at me, her eyes questioning.

My father's gleaming owl eyes leer down at me as he lowers his powerful beak toward her, his voice echoing with power. "Nyxion, you know I do not like to leave my cave. But it is time to hold up your end of the bargain. The hyoid bone—hand it over."

Zenya shivers at the intensity of Hypnos's demand. She doesn't fully comprehend what's happening, but she holds my gaze, her breaths leaving in shallow gasps.

I ease a deep sigh, lowering my worn wings, and lift my phalanges to stroke her cheek. It's the first time since the Abyss that I have embarked into our mental tether, sensing her mind fully open to me. Her presence is a balm within my mind.

Her brows soar to their ceilings. She parts her lips, but no words come out—my father's command is like a physical blow.

Understanding sheds upon her, and her face contorts with outrage and shock. My heart clenches as I look at her, knowing the storm of emotions ready to unleash within her.

I reach out with my mind, touching hers gently, Give him my bone, little killer, I whisper, hoping she hears the unspoken apology. What I feel for her, the love I hold for her, it transcends any words.

Her eyes widen with confusion and hurt. Her body stiffens, and her breath catches in her throat. She looks at me, searching for an explanation, for anything that might make sense of this. Gods, I knew her tears would be the worst torment.

I touch those tears. Her lashes flutter closed as I catch them, silent words of her pain. I lower my skull head to hers, silently begging her to understand.

"Why?" she asks, her voice breaking, and it feels like my heart is being torn apart. In some ways, it is. She held it in her hands. From that moment, I knew it belonged to her.

Morpheus approaches, body language tentative, wings calmly folded behind him. His shadows seek her as always. "Zenya," he begins, glancing at Hecate, who nods. "Nyxion left the campground that night as you?—"

"Don't," she warns.

He sighs heavily, combs a hand through his hair, and says, "Shortly after you ran, Nyxion returned. Hecate and I knew what had happened. We didn't know what he sacrificed, but he held the power of sleep…and hypnosis. He used it on those fuckers so they would black out. And then, he gave you hypnotic dreams, so you would dream sweeter."

She locks eyes with me, more tears streaming down her face. I long to take her in my arms, to soothe her pain, but she needs my strength now.

"What does this mean? Will you…?" she trails off, panting, struggling for breath as she suspects the gravity of my action.

When my father clicks his talons again, she stiffens. I close the distance between Zenya and me. Give me a moment, Father. One goddamn moment!

I cup her face in my unworthy hands of bone, in awe of this broken and beautiful woman, who followed me into my fortress. This woman who desired me even when I was a corpse. You broke for me, fell for me, and became with me, Zenya , I tell her as she shudders, eyes fixed on mine. Everything happened in reverse for me. I became with you first…when Morpheus embedded my hyoid bone within you. Then, I fell for you, for your tears, and showed you the night of the Abyss. She whimpers, blinking back more tears. Now, it is time for me to break. For you, Zenya, I will break.

"Does this mean…you won't—that we can't—after this, oh, god, Nyxion, please don't tell me…" She shakes her head in denial.

These will be my last words to you, my little killer. Know this, Zenya Alice Myre. You killed me. You killed every rotted scrap of the God of Nightmares who came before. Because of you, I remembered what it was to protect within nightmares like…building a blanket fort. How to grieve. How to fight the nightmares, which can require sacrifice.

"This is not fair," she cries, raising her fist and bringing it down on my chest again and again, unleashing her hurt and fury and pain. I let her. I let her break my collarbone, my rib cage, break whatever she needs as she breaks down.

I strengthen my grip on her face, tilting her jaw back. Zenya, Zenya! I search her eyes, hold her stare, and lean in to whisper, Not even in the Realms of Dreams is life ever fair. Please do not let this be our last moment, the last words we share.

"I love you."

The world goes still. Those three words hold more power and magic than the Abyss itself.

I bring my skull down and kiss her as best I may. She wraps her desperate arms around me, kissing me harder and stronger than ever.

In the moment she parts, Zenya blinks, her eyes turning black. Beastie screws her brows low, sighs, and lowers her head in a gesture of respect. "Say it back, Nyxion," she commands, citing my chosen name for the first time.

Aquamarine eyes find mine. I love you, Zenya. Every beautiful, fragmented shard. Please…surrender my bone. I drop my hands, straightening, steadying myself.

Pursing her lips, she reaches into her white gown's pocket with trembling hands, pulling out the three artifacts.

"Hecate…" She gasps from her emotions, holding the items up helplessly, not knowing what to do.

Hecate shadows to her, touches her palms and the objects, and fuses the objects into the tool she needs. The sand melts into a molten substance to fuse the stone and bone needle into what she needs to cut the hyoid bone from her collarbone.

Due to the nature of this realm and the magic of Hecate, it requires nothing more than a painless clean slice. As soon as it tumbles into her hand, Hecate heals the skin.

Forever voiceless. The only ones I may speak to will be limited in a mental tether to Morpheus and Phantasos. And my father.

My heart aches with every movement Zenya makes, the bone in her hands—this symbol of my sacrifice, my love, and my silent promise to protect her at any cost.

As she steps forward, offering the bone to Hypnos with trembling hands, I feel the bitter sting of my helplessness.

"Can't you?—"

"No!" Hypnos snarls. She flinches, as stung as me while he ruffles his feathers, scraping his talons across the floor, his indomitable will overthrowing hers with the laws of the gods.

She surrenders it, hugging herself after. The finality of the act sinks deep into my soul.

Hypnos takes the bone, his expression unreadable, and my gaze never leaves Zenya's face. I read every flicker of emotion that crosses her features.

Her composure shatters. She turns back to me, tears streaming down her face, a portrait of raw, unfiltered pain. Without hesitation, she throws herself into my arms, clinging to him with a desperation that mirrors my inner turmoil.

I wrap my arms around her, holding her tightly, feeling her sobs wrack her body. Soon, she will return to the world of the living, remembering nothing of this.

For now, I simply hold her.

"I can't leave. Not after this. I won't. I won't fucking leave you," she sobs, her voice a broken whisper against my chest. "Not any of you. Not ever."

My heart swells with this unconditional love. I'd sacrifice my heart if it would keep her soul safe and at my side forever.

As Hypnos departs, the hyoid bone clutched in his grasp, the echoes of his departure fade. For my part, the world outside our embrace ceases to exist. All that matters is the woman in my arms, the fierce and fragile soul I love beyond measure.

My mind storms with conflicting emotions—pain, sorrow, and a profound, unyielding love that binds me to Zenya in ways that transcend the realms of dreams and nightmares.

She will forget me. I will remember and love her for eternity, never regenerating into a new entity—no matter how long I may hold the pain.

Through me, she will awaken. Through her, I will sleep for the first time…at peace in the world of my nightmares.

I hold her tighter, my heart silently promising I will never let her go.

"Phanta?"

We all turn at the little voice, foreign in its fragility, followed by a whimper.

"I don't feel so good," Ivy moans at the entrance of the throne room, surrounded by her pups who ramble all around her, their ears low, tails between their legs.

"Ivy!" Zenya cries out at the same time that Phantasos rushes to the little girl's side and catches her, his eyes welling up with tears.

"What-what is happening?" Zenya whispers, her eyes scanning all of us in a moment before settling on Phantasos.

"Shh…shh, now, Ivy," his voice breaks with his emotion as he brushes the curls from her eyes and leans down to kiss her forehead.

Hecate turns to Zenya, her eyes filled with remorse and pity as she reveals, "Ivy is…dying."