Chapter 7

After the baby announcement party, everyone leaves, and I see Remi chatting with that British fuck.

”Thanks for coming,” Beckett says, squeezing my shoulder.

I’m no longer in a good mood.

”I wouldn’t miss something like this,” I admit, reflecting on tonight’s events. ”You shouldn’t force your sister to go out with people.”

He chuckles. ”You wouldn’t understand.”

”Explain it to me, then,” I urge. We”re too old for that shit. I’m aggravated that he took it that far.

Beckett sighs as we stand out by my truck. ”After Eric, Remi didn’t date anyone for years. He destroyed her.”

I remember the time we escaped to Florida after she turned twenty-one. We left town at different times, hopped on a plane, and were gone for seven days. We took hundreds of photos, swam in the ocean under the moonlight, and made love until the sun rose.

Beckett shoves his hands in his pockets. “I think he used her for sex, considering she hadn’t been with anybody until him.”

“What?” I ask.

“Yeah, he took her virginity. I thought you knew that,” Beckett says. “Fucking bastard.”

This admission has my heart beating erratically. Had Remi lied about being a virgin? And why the fuck would she do that?

He continues, and I can barely pay attention to him as I search through all the old memories and conversations we had. She’d told me she’d been with someone, but I also know Eric never existed.

”Now that she's back with him, I’ll do whatever I can to help end that toxic relationship. I don’t know shit about him, but I never want to see my sister like that again. She needs a nice guy. Someone who won’t use her.”

Frustration is written on his face. Beckett has been on a rampage about Eric since Remi brought it up this morning at lunch.

I need her to explain what the fuck happened because I don’t have all the puzzles pieces. I hurt her, and that’s crystal clear. It frustrates me that I’d nearly—how did Beckett word it?—destroyed her.

”I hear you, but she seemed uncomfortable,” I tell him, not wanting him to ignore the unnecessary pressure he put on her. It wasn’t okay, and I won’t sit back and allow that to happen again.

”Remi needs to be pushed in the right direction because she hasn’t moved on from Eric. It’s why I need you to keep an eye on her.”

”I won’t spy on your sister.”

He laughs. ”Well, I heard Summer is changing Remi”s schedule starting July first so you’ll see her a lot more next month.”

I keep my excitement to myself. ”I don’t care. She can do what she wants, like I said before.”

Remi walks around the house with Archie beside her. The two of them laugh at something, and I’m instantly jealous.

Beckett glances over his shoulder, seeing them. He has no idea how destructive this is for me.

Remi glances up at me before turning her attention back to him.

”They’re good together,” Beckett says. ”Carol said he’d move here if he had a reason to.”

”That’s interesting,” I say, trying to seem amused, but I’m not. Fuck him.

”You good?” he asks.

”Yeah, fine. I’m exhausted. Had a long day yesterday and was up at the crack of dawn. Been working a lot, and I don’t see that slowing down.”

I don’t want to learn anything else about him.

She walks him to the old truck of Carol”s he's driving. Remi holds out her hand, and he smiles and takes it. After he leaves, the taillights fade in the dusty distance as he turns onto the main country road.

She waits in front of Haley”s Bronco that’s next to my truck. The bright screen becomes a beacon in the night, lighting her pretty face.

”So, you move in tomorrow?” Beckett asks.

”Yes,” I say. “I already told my parents, and I think they were excited to get the house back to themselves.”

Beckett chuckles. ”I’m sure they are.”

I glance away from him.

“Please promise me that you’ll tell me if she’s not okay.”

When I meet his eyes, I know he has his sister’s best interest in mind. ”I will.”

”I have your word?” His brows raise.

This could get messy, and it’s how things get twisted. I”d prefer not to be in a position like this, but if Remi was not okay, I’d tell him. It’s not a lie.

”You have my word. Anyway, congrats again. So happy for you.”

It’s an unbreakable promise, something I hold with the utmost regard.

”Thanks,” he says. ”Let’s hang out again soon.”

”Deal,” I tell him with a wave as I continue to my truck. Beckett heads back to his house.

I glance over at Remi. She pushes off of Haley”s SUV and strolls toward me.

”Are you going out with him?”

She stands in front of me, keeping enough space in case there are any wandering eyes.

”Is that jealousy I sense?” she asks. It’s the same question I asked when she saw me with Christine at Beckett’s wedding.

When I look at her and smell the sweetness of her skin, I worry that I’ll wake from a dream and she’ll fade away.

”You didn’t answer,” she mutters.

”You know it is,” I hiss. “You know I can’t see you with another man.”

She glances around and it’s only us. ”Will you take me home?”

”Yes,” I tell her, unlocking the passenger door of my truck, and she climbs in. I move to the driver”s seat, and the tension cuts through the air.

We open our mouths to say something, knowing there won’t be anyone who overhears us.

”You first,” I say.

”I explained to him that I have a boyfriend, that if I ever have coffee with him, which I won’t, it would be as friends only. I’m unavailable.”

”And let me guess, he said that would be fine,” I say, cranking the engine.

We drive away.

”Well, yeah.”

”That’s how this works. Men say we’ll be friends until you’re not.” I stop at the end of the driveway.

“What’s the difference with Christine?” she asks.

I suck in a sharp breath. ”The difference is I know I want you and no one else. Also unrelated, but I never had ulterior motives when it came to you, Rem. I didn’t use you,” I say, recalling what Beckett said.

Her brows furrow. “I know that. What sparkedthis?”

“Beckett.” I sigh. I turn onto the country road, heading toward downtown Valentine.

Silence slices through the air as we drive to her place, soon ours.

”Is he who you want? If it is, I’ll accept it with no questions asked.”

”Wow, you’re big jealous,” she says, shaking her head. Remi reaches over and grabs my hand. ”You have no reason to be, okay? Do you trust me?”

”I don’t trust him.”

“Wasn’t my question,” she says.

”Yes, I trust you,” I confirm.

“Okay, then trust me.”

I’m lost in my thoughts, in the possibility of her even pretending to go out with someone else. The thought nearly drives me mad. She unlocks her phone and types something. If I had to guess, she texts Haley or Lexi. It could be Summer or Kinsley, too.

Ten minutes later, we’re turning onto Main. The streetlamps light the way to the other side of town. I pull into the condo and turn off my lights.

She unbuckles. “Will you come in?”

“Do you want me to?” I ask.

“I won’t be able to sleep until we hash out this wedge sliding between us. Also, Summer gave me tomorrow off to help you move in.”

A smile touches my lips. “You know I hired movers to deliver everything.”

”I know. It’s just more time I get to spend with you.” She reaches for the door handle and pushes it open.

When she steps on the cement, she turns and looks at me. “Are you going to make me beg?”

“Shit,” I say, knowing I can’t deny her when she's like this. When Remi knows what she wants, and it happens to be me, it’s my damn kryptonite.

She glances over her shoulder, ensuring I follow her as she unlocks the condo. Any other time I’ve come here with her late at night, I’ve snuck in through her window like we’re teenagers, afraid of getting caught.

Valentine is a small town. Someone is always around, and no one minds their business.

Once I’m inside, she turns and presses me against the door. My hands land on her hips, and we walk the edge of a line we shouldn’t cross yet.

“I’m not kissing you until we talk.” I force myself to grab hold of the situation.

”That’s smart,” she says.

“You look gorgeous,” I whisper.

Her lips quirk upward on the edges. “I wore this for you.”

“I know,” I tell her, taking a few steps forward, placing my hand on her cheek as her fingers hook into the belt loops of my Wranglers. “Rem, who took your virginity?”

“What?” she stiffens, and her eyes widen.

My jaw clenches tight. “Please tell me.”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes, it matters. Are you kidding me?”

Her reaction gives validity to what Beckett said tonight, and I hate the thought.

She moves toward the kitchen, opens a cabinet, and pulls out a bottle of Crown Royal Apple. She unscrews the top and presses it to her plump lips, taking two big gulps and offers it to me.

“No, thank you,” I tell her as she walks past me and flicks on a table lamp. She kicks off her wedges and pats the cushion next to her as she sits on the couch. She takes two more gulps of liquid courage. She might need the whole damn bottle to finish this conversation.

“Do we have to talk about this?” she asks when I sit next to her.

“Yes. I need the truth.”

“You,” she whispers. “I gave you my virginity.”

“What?” It crushes my soul and I don’t know what to say. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could’ve hurt you.”

“You didn’t,” she admits. “You were so gentle and kind, and honestly, I think back to that night with a goddamn smile on my face, so don’t make it out to be like it was some cruel night of virginity snatching. It wasn’t.”

“Rem,” I whisper, recalling the first time we hooked up. We took it slow because she admitted she was inexperienced. “You lied to me.”

“I’m really fucking sorry. In the moment, I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to think less of me or treat me with kid gloves. I promised myself I was going to tell you, but then you left and it didn’t matter anymore.” She pauses. “I don’t know what Beckett told you, but don’t believe a word of it until you’ve heard my side, okay? That’s all I ask. He doesn’t know half of what I”ve been through. No one does.”

I pick up the bottle of Crown and take several large gulps. I’m too on edge. “Will you tell me?”

She glances away from me. ”Just shitty relationships. No one ever treated me like you did, and I”ve been searching for your replacement for nearly seven years. After dating and dumping handfuls of men, I gave up, realizing I was still...” Remi briefly pauses. ”In love with you,” she says.

When our gaze locks, Remi leans forward, sliding her lips against mine. My fingers thread through her hair, and our tongues twist together.

”We weren’t supposed to do that,” I say.

”You’re my best-kept secret, Cash,” she says.

My heart lurches forward. I don’t want to be a secret, but she already knows that.

”He said Eric destroyed you,” I mutter.

“I was destroyed after you left. That’s not a lie.”

I give her all the time and space she needs to share her truth. It tastes bitter going down. “I’m sorry.”

“It was of my own doing. I wanted to replace you and couldn’t. I wanted to erase you from ever existing because you’d been places no one had. You were everywhere inside me physically, mentally, and emotionally, haunting me every damn day. I thought I’d be able to handle it. I barely did.”

“Why—.”

“Didn’t I tell you?” She finishes my sentence. “So you could do what exactly? Come back and rescue your damsel in distress? Before we started fooling around, we agreed it’d be temporary. I wouldn’t go back on my word. I wouldn’t be the woman that you gave it all up for. And I still won’t.”

The revelations make my world spin.

“I knew you’d eventually come back to me. And you did.”

“Rem, the guilt is almost too much.”

“Please don’t do that to yourself,” she says. “I’m fine now. It taught me a difficult lesson about loving and losing.”

“A lesson that shouldn’t have been learned.”

“We can’t take that back.”

I pick up the bottle. “Why did you ignore my texts and calls over the years?”

“Because I didn’t want you to leave Houston for me. Now look at you, you’re at the top, Cash. Your dreams came true.”

“They didn’t,” I say. She doesn’t realize how damn in love with her I am, and how a life without her is far from a dream. It’s a fucking nightmare. “I wish I’d known, I would’ve?—”

I shake my head, not able to finish.

“I can’t believe this,” I say, leaning my head back on the cushion. If Beckett knew the truth about this, I’d have his fist in my face.

“I didn’t want you to think I was a twenty-one-year-old loser for not having sex yet. I was waiting for the right person, someone I trusted who wouldn’t be a creep. I”d heard too many horror stories, and no one my age ever did it for me. I wanted it to be you, Cash, and it was. And it was so damn beautiful.”

”I don’t know what to say.” I lean back on the couch. ”This is a lot.”

She smiles. “You made it more special than you know. It was mind-blowing, the type of sex a person only has in movies. I always thought about how I would tell you.”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry you didn’t trust me.”

“Cash, no. It had nothing to do with trusting you, I promise. I trusted you with my life. I still do. I was insecure about my body and my experience.”

“I never judged you, Rem. I respect your decision if that’s what made you feel comfortable, but it hurts. I just would’ve done things differently.”

“I’m so damn sorry I hurt you.” She swallows hard. “I didn’t want my virginity to be the center of your attention. I didn’t want a big deal or for you to act weird. That night was the first time I was touched, the first time I came, and I had you buried deep inside of me. It was incredible, I promise. I’m so sorry,” she says. ”I deeply cherish that moment with you. I just hope you can forgive me one day.”

”Okay,” I whisper. ”I forgive you now, Valentine. So when Beckett shares something new about Eric, he's talking about me?”

”Yes,” she admits with a sigh. ”I guess he paid more attention than I thought. Had I realized that, I wouldn’t have revived Eric. It’s what I deserve for trying to be clever. My family”s memory is impeccable.”

”Maybe it’s time you break up with him,” I say. ”Beckett is convinced you and Eric are toxic together.”

She reaches for the booze and sits back, drinking it. ”You were the opposite of a red flag, okay? But I do think Eric has to go. There's a lot of baggage.”

“Does Beckett have it right, though? Were we toxic for one another?” I think about the question, too.

“No. I don’t think we were. I think I was toxic with myself after you. Unfortunately, my brothers will blame everyone except me. A lot of it was my stubbornness and wanting to be alone. I should”ve called and told you how much I missed you.”

I open my arms, and Remi crawls into my lap. I hold her tight against me, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. ”I would”ve come back had I known.”

”You had things to take care of. You’re here now. What will we do differently?”

”What will you do differently? I ask, loving having her close, something I”ve wanted since the last time we were together.

“I’m a risk,” she whispers. “You can still lose it all because of me, and I don’t like that. But I’m trying.”

Remi creates space between us, placing her palm on my face as she studies me, smiling. ”I told Archie I was dating someone and he asked if it were you.”

I tilt my head at her. ”What did you tell him?”

”Yes,” she says. ”And that it would be in his best interest not to fuck this up for me. Then I set him up with Haley.”

”Clever girl,” I tell her, mentally adding another person to our confirmed list.

Remi moves forward and brushes her nose against mine. ”I don’t want any drama. I have enough to figure out without anyone else being involved.”

”I don’t either,” I admit, searching her face.

“Cash, I can’t be the reason why you lose your clinic and best friend. If we do this, I don’t think we can tell anyone.” She presses her forehead against mine.

I meet her eyes. “One day you’ll be ready, and I’ll be waiting.”

“I know.”

“Good news is for the next three months I’m yours, Valentine.”

And after that I hope it’s forever.