12. Alik

twelve

Alik

M ine. Mate. Claim.

The primal part of me is a never ending chant of letting go and taking Sloane as mine. It takes all of my willpower and all of my concentration to stay in control of my mind and not let that part of me take over.

It would be so easy. It is so easy. Especially when I'm this close to Sloane. Her very presence has me itching and snarling, wanting to wrap her in my arms, pin her to the ground, bury myself inside of her, and hold her all night while telling her how I will never let anything happen to her.

Sloane has Jovi wrapped around her as she guides him to the couch. She might be battling back sleep, but she's still got some mischief left in her. I wouldn't be surprised if she's always filled with it.

"Neither of you made me come tonight," Sloane says as she leans her head against Jovi's chest.

His eyes go wide at the same time mine do. I was under the impression he took care of her when he was with her, and he must have thought the same about me. Wow, that's something else we can go ahead and add to our lists of transgressions we've already committed against our pleasure crew on this mission.

Essa at least pretends to be preoccupied by something on her comm, while Sloane chastises us for not taking care of her. We're not about to bring her to orgasm tonight. She can barely keep her eyes open, and I'm not into unresponsive females.

"In the morning." Jovi presses a kiss to her temple. He sits down and pulls Sloane down beside him on the couch. She nuzzles into him easily, tucking her feet underneath her, her arms wrapping around Jovi. They look perfect together, at ease with one another. "We'll both make it up to you tomorrow."

He looks up at me, making sure I'm okay with that plan. I give him a short nod and turn my attention over to Essa. I could spend all night looking at them together, but we have other things that need to be dealt with. Not to mention, the more I watch Jovi and Sloane melt into one another, the more I want to join them.

Jovi can handle keeping Sloane safe and comfortable tonight. He's better than I am at making sure she knows we care about her. I'm really only good at losing myself too much, taking more than I should, and then hiding out in our room. It hasn't exactly been a healthy response to how Sloane affects me.

"Are you okay?" Essa eyes me as I try to keep myself under control. I want to be the one to have my arms wrapped around Sloane while she sleeps. I want to press soft kisses to her temple and feel her warm breath on my chest. I can't be trusted right now, though. If I were as close as Jovi is, I'd be making far worse decisions.

"I'll be fine."

I don't know how true my words are, but I'm working on not losing it. It helps that at least Jovi's the one offering Sloane comfort. The possessive side of me doesn't mind sharing with Jovi, which is good since he's the male I'll always have to share with. At least one of us has the ability to hold Sloane close and comfort her without the need to bite and mark and claim. I just wish it was me.

"What did you want to talk about?" Jovi nudges Sloane softly, her head jostling, but it's clear she's already fallen asleep.

Jovi smiles and muffles a soft laugh that he doesn't want to wake up Sloane. He relaxes more into the couch, pulling Sloane with him. Our eyes meet for just a moment, and he gives me a questioning look. He wants to know if I'm okay with what he's doing, which is about right.

There's a system in place between males of our species. We're given a partner we'll share our life with when we're young males. We either become friends, lovers, or enemies. Most in the first two categories stay compatible for their entire life. The ones in the last category end up killing each other at some point. Thankfully, Jovi and I are in the first category.

Not that we didn't test out being lovers. We just found we both preferred having a female in between us rather than all of us finding pleasure together.

Once the bond forms between two males, we spend our entire life together, but we're an aggressive species. There's always one stronger than the other, one who submits to the other. Jovi and I didn't even have to fight to figure out which of us was taking on which role. The first time a conflict popped up between us, he defaulted to me and has defaulted to me every time except for once. It helps that I'm more serious than him in most things, whereas he's fine with going with the flow over everything.

"Let her rest on you," I say, leaning back in Holoth's recliner. I pop my feet up, hoping it will keep me from joining him in touching our Sloane.

Holoth will hate me for getting my smell all over his seat. His sense of smell is better than anyone else on the ship, but the only thing he's particular about is the smells in his room and on his chair. I'm hoping he won't care so much about my smell on his recliner when I tell him it was either sit here or maybe cause more issues for Jovi and me and probably scare Sloane away.

Jovi relaxes, his eyes turning down to watch Sloane breathe deeply in her sleep. She's already so contented, so peaceful, as she lies against him. I turn back to Essa, hoping we have the conversation with her and she can relay it to Sloane when she's awake and feeling more herself.

"We have a proposition," I start. "Jovi and I haven't been taking to having Sloane here very well."

"I like her." Essa cuts me off before I can explain that we just so happen to like her a lot. "She's staying at least for this mission."

"At least?" I try not to sound too excited about the prospect of Sloane staying with us for longer than just this mission when Essa could mean any number of things.

I shake my head, not waiting for Essa to answer because we have plenty of other things to discuss first. Things that are more important than what happens after we finish this mission and return to Earth.

"We want to amend the contract or come to some sort of agreement with Sloane to help with the stronger urges we're having."

Essa's realization is quick, and it has her frowning and pulling out her own comm. I grab mine and send her the list Jovi, and I made before coming down here. Her brows furrow, the sparkle of her skin seeming to dim. Her skin's sparkle seems dependent on her moods, even though she's told us all it is our minds playing tricks on us.

She frowns deeper before looking up at me. "I'll need to report this."

"We know." I try to keep my voice even, but I'm sick of others thinking that I care about my ranking or standing with the pleasure crew company when I'm never going to request a pleasure crew female again.

I haven't brought it up with anyone but myself, but once this mission is over, I'm asking Sloane if Jovi and I can live on Earth with her. If she says no, we'll go back to our planet, get our affairs in order, and then spend our time in solitude until we lose ourselves and pass.

I don't care if we're barred from ever using any pleasure crew company again because I will either have Sloane or I'll have no one ever again. I can't tell anyone yet because they'll lock me away for my own well-being. As though my well-being isn't directly determined by my proximity to Sloane.

Essa nods, her frown lifting slightly but not enough to show she's okay with it. "I'll speak with Sloane about it when she wakes up, but this isn't going into effect until I talk to her."

"Fair enough," I say. Then, because I can't stop myself from knowing, I ask, "How mad are you at me for what I did?"

Essa's brows furrow, her tail flicking in the air by her calves as she tries to think of what to say. Essa cares about the pleasure crew members more than anything. She feels like it's her responsibility to make sure they're all kept safe and happy, not that any of them except Sloane have ever noticed.

Essa used to try to befriend the pleasure crew females when they'd join the crew for a mission or two, but after being rejected over and over, she stopped trying as hard. She still watched over them from a distance, made sure Jovi and I behaved ourselves and followed the rules. I'm sure it hurt her to feel that sting of rejection, but she never made it out like it was any of their fault.

Sloane's changed all of that. She chose to be Essa's friend, even before Essa herself could get attached. She chose to be all of our friends, and it's making it more difficult to think about a crew without her on it. Essa's care for the females who join us has only become more fierce now that she and Sloane have grown close.

"I'm livid," Essa says and then sighs like she hates what she's about to say. "You hurt my friend, and then instead of making things right, you used her in a way that's only going to confuse her more."

"Confuse her?" I lean forward in the chair, unable to maintain my relaxed position. Not that I've been relaxed in days. "I have no intentions of confusing her."

"Then maybe tell her that." Essa's words are harsh as she says them, and I can tell by the twitching in her tail that she's holding herself back from how mad she actually is. I appreciate it. There's nothing scarier than an angry Essa.

I bite down on my tongue to keep myself from ruining everything by telling Essa that I intend to make Sloane my mate. I don't care if we're not bonded, and I don't care about the issues it could cause for Jovi and me with the Intergalactic Alliance. I just know that I want her.

If I tell Essa, she'll report it, and I'll lose everything before I even get it. The mission will be canceled, Sloane will be returned to Earth, and the crew—well, we might not even be a crew anymore. So, I stew in my silence and wait for Essa to calm down and change the subject.

"What will you two do until I can speak with her and make sure she agrees to these new terms?" Essa asks after too much time has passed. Her voice isn't angry. It's more tired and worried now. I can't say I blame her when it's how I feel, too.

Her eyes drift over to where Jovi now has his head leaned against Sloane's, his eyes closed, breathing deeply. His arms are wrapped around her, but he's fast asleep. A smile tugs at my lips, seeing the two people who are most important to me so peaceful.

I kick my feet down on the recliner and stand a bit too fast. There are plenty of blankets around the living room since Essa always says we keep the living areas way too cold. She's from a desert planet, so it makes sense that she's always cold, even though we keep the ship at a pretty neutral temperature.

I grab the softest blanket, open it up, and throw it over Jovi and Sloane to keep them warm throughout the night if they stay asleep out here. I return to the recliner, letting the feet go up and feeling less like I need to throw myself out of the airlock the longer I stare at them.

"I'll probably stay away from her," I answer Essa's question. "I've been having difficulties being around her without doing things I shouldn't." I rub at my temples, trying to fight back the urge to join Jovi and Sloane on the couch because I know I won't stop at just touching and cuddling with them. "I've had Jovi stay away from her, too. I wasn't sure how much he was affected, but seeing him now, it's clear that I'm the bigger problem between the two of us."

"He tried to kill Phial earlier," Essa says, trying to cheer me up.

I snort, knowing full well Phial would have come out on top of that fight. "Jovi had a blaster pulled on him in a second. If anything, he's getting sloppy because of the need."

Essa lets out a soft chuckle, making sure not to wake the two who are now sleeping so close to us. Her face falls after a moment, becoming contemplative. "Are you two able to do this job, or should we call it off?"

My heart sinks, knowing that as soon as one of us calls off a job, it's the beginning of the end for our crew. Sure, the others could find new ships to be on, but the company we work for is very particular about who they give jobs to.

High-paying Intergalactic Alliance jobs only go to crews with perfect records. If we call off this mission for the Intergalactic Alliance, we blacklist ourselves from working government jobs. That means no more helping to fight sentient smuggling, no more trying to rescue kidnapped humans. It's what we've been doing since we started this crew, and I don't think any of us are ready to be done just yet.

We could work private jobs, but those require more vetting to make sure we're not doing something illegal. Not that we mind somewhat illegal jobs because we've had to do our fair share of those for the IA when it comes to hiding informants or taking down low-level smugglers. Even our mission we're on now has some morally ambiguous factors.

No, I keep my thoughts about claiming Sloane to myself until we get this job over with so no one here feels like they aren't safe anymore. We're all running from something, whether it be the culture we came from, responsibilities we don't want, or crimes we may or may not have committed on our home planets. This crew is our second chance, our family, and I'm not risking that.

Essa is from an important family on her planet. She's set to marry another when she returns, which means she never wants to return. Phial is a wanted fugitive on his planet, something about a kidnapping that wasn't really a kidnapping that he doesn't like talking about. And Holoth, who… well, none of us know why Holoth joined our crew six years ago, but it's probably for a good reason.

"We're not calling off the job," I say, more certain of that than anything else right now. "Worst case scenario, Jovi and I fuck our hands and spar with one another like we do between jobs."

Essa doesn't even flinch at my crude language. No, she tries to get under my skin instead because that's the kind of female she is. "You could always fuck each other. I'm sure you'd be a great bottom."

We told Essa once, a long time ago when we were all inebriated, how Jovi and I tried to find pleasure in one another when we first matured into adults and were settling into our bond. I most definitely was not the bottom.

The growl that erupts from my chest is just my own hurt ego acting out, and thankfully, I can keep it quiet even though it refuses to silence. Essa knows what she's doing. She's trying to see how far I can be pushed before I lash out. One of the easiest ways to get under my pelt is to point out how fragile I am in my malehood. I snap my teeth at her, but it only has her covering her mouth, so her horrendous cackle of a laugh doesn't wake Jovi and Sloane.

"You're too easy to mess with," Essa laughs. "Plus, I'm pretty sure you could benefit from getting fucked. It would give you a reason to pull that stick out of your ass for once."

"Enough." I narrow my eyes at Essa, the muscles in my arms tensing as I grab the arms of the recliner so tightly that my knuckles are almost white. "I'm not in my right mind for this teasing, Essa."

"What teasing?" She throws her hands up, feigning ignorance like she loves to do. "Your kind can enjoy the company of males and females. Why would you not enjoy being the one receiving Jovi's cock?"

I launch out of the chair, reaching to my chest for one of my daggers, but of course, we left our harnesses in the bedroom when we left. Essa is on her feet, her own dagger drawn, a smile still on her lips as she realizes she has the advantage over me.

"Is it really that big of an issue for you to have someone think you could submit?" she asks.

The curiosity in her voice is genuine even though everything up until this point has been to work me up into the beastly version of myself. I might be ready to attack her, but I'm still fully in control of myself, which shows that I'm not a completely lost cause yet.

The light glistening off the dagger brings me back to Essa's question. I don't know why she suddenly has an interest in mine and Jovi's relationship. Yes, the males of our species often find companionship with their partner, but there's still structure. We have certain ways of doing things, and they extend to all aspects of our lives.

"He submits to me in all things," I growl.

I want to add that Sloane will do the same, but I keep that to myself. Mostly because Essa might stab me but also because I haven't broached the topic with anyone else. Jovi and Sloane will be the first I talk to about it. No one else really matters.

Maybe our ways don't make much sense to Essa and the way she was raised culturally, but to me, this is how things are—how they're meant to be. I wouldn't tell her that she's not allowed concubines, even though she has yet to find anyone willing. She won't tell me that my culture is wrong, just like I won't say it to her.

My eyes fall to where Jovi's passed out with Sloane in his arms, knowing if I wanted, they would both do whatever I asked of them. The idea of making Jovi claim her is tempting, though. How easily I could get him to pierce her skin with his teeth if I only ask.

I walk over to the two, softly stroking each of their cheeks and loving that they both nuzzle closer to me for comfort, protection, and everything they instinctually know I can give them. Not that Jovi needs protection. He's just as large and skilled a male as me. But he's mine, just as Sloane will be.

"If I wanted, I could have him claim her right now." I turn to Essa, my gaze turning hard as I lean over the two sleeping forms. I press a kiss to Sloane's temple and then move my lips to Jovi's before placing another. "Two words, and he'd obey. It would only take two words to make her ours."

"Alik." Essa's eyes go wide as she takes a step closer to me. I wonder how deranged I look if she seems so worried that I might do it. No, even I can feel myself succumbing to the need of my base instincts. The part of me growling to claim Sloane. Mark her and make sure everyone knows she is mated, bonded, and cherished. "Alik, step away from them."

I lower my head, my lips close to Jovi's ear. I rub a hand over his chest to wake him just enough to listen to me.

"What?" Jovi's voice is raspy with sleep.

I smile at Essa, watching as the panic in her face turns to absolute dread. "If you do this—"

"Do what?" Jovi's sleepy, so he's not really following, but he can sense that something's wrong. He turns to face me, and his body stiffens. "How long has he been gone?"

Am I gone? I don't feel like it. I feel better than I have in so long, and this plan—the plan where I have Jovi claim Sloane first so that we both can—is the best idea I've ever come up with.

I rub at my wrists, a strange burning sensation bubbling up underneath my pelt, irritating me. It's not the first time it's happened, and I'm wondering if I'm allergic to something on board. Whatever, it's a worry for another time when I'm not about to get everything I want.

"It just happened," Essa says, making sure not to move from where she's standing. "He wants to make you claim her."

Jovi's eyes widen, and then they crinkle in the corners as he laughs and throws his head back against the sofa. Sloane stirs, but she doesn't wake. Her face nuzzles deeper into Jovi's side as she falls back into her slumber.

"He won't." Jovi relaxes and closes his eyes, too. I'd feel some sort of anger if I wasn't already filled with it. Jovi cracks his middle eye, looking at me as he tries to suppress his laugh. "You really want me to claim her first? You want my seconds, Alik?"

His words wash over the idiotic part of me that demands I be first. The stupid part of me that thinks I deserve to be first in all things because I'm in charge of this pairing, and letting Jovi claim her first is bringing my ability to lead into question. Logically, I know I'm being ridiculous, but logic isn't here right now.

I use the moment of clarity to force myself away from Sloane and Jovi while I still can. I push away from the couch, stumbling over my own feet as I make my way back to the recliner.

"I'm going to tell her you called her your seconds," Essa says, her arms crossing over her chest after she puts her dagger back. "I'm sure she'll love that."

"You know I didn't mean it like that." Jovi doesn't even open his eyes to speak with Essa. "Alik and his territorial ass needed a reason to snap out of it. I gave him one. If anything, blame him for not wanting her to be my seconds. He's the one you should be mad at."

Essa looks between the three of us, plenty of thoughts running through her head, but she doesn't voice any of them. No, instead, she walks over to where Jovi and Sloane are lying and readjusts the blanket. I growl at her. Not that she cares. She wiggles her little finger at me and then grabs a second blanket that she throws at me. I narrow my eyes on her, but she just smiles.

"You two need to figure your shit out," Essa says as she goes to leave the living room. "Keep acting like this, and you're going to scare her off."

I wiggle my little finger back at her right as she leaves. I debate for a moment if we could scare off Sloane if we're too demanding—if we need her too much. I come to the conclusion that no, we won't. I think there's a part of her that wants us as much as we want her. If there's even a small possibility she wants to be with us, I'm going to pursue her in whatever way she needs.

I stare at Jovi and Sloane. Their breathing evens out, and their bodies relax again. I throw the blanket Essa gave me over my body and turn the lights off in the living room. We might regret sleeping out here when we wake up with stiff muscles, but it'll be worth it to be in the same room as Sloane all night.