11. Jovi

eleven

Jovi

" E ssa will come to get us as soon as Sloane's acting more herself," Alik tells me for probably the hundredth time since we've trapped ourselves in our room.

It's already been a few hours, and no one has come to get us at all. I might be more upset with Alik if I wasn't so envious of how he affects Sloane. Our semen works as a relaxant of sorts to our own females, but we had no way of knowing it would work on Sloane or that it would basically get her drunk and horny.

It's in our contract that we will not have our pleasure crew member ingest our semen because reactions can be as mild as calming them or as potent as making them unresponsive in their relaxation. Sure, that's for females of our own species, and we had no way to know Sloane would react at all. Still, he shouldn't have done it.

Alik's first words to me were that he fucked up, and now I'm understanding just how badly he did. There's a good probability we lose any chance of ever having a pleasure crew member again with how blatantly he disregarded one of the rules of our contracts.

The only reason I'm not more upset with Alik about doing that to Sloane is that I know how bad he feels. He's been losing himself way too easily, and he talks of claiming her like it's something we're allowed to do. I think if, after this mission is over, Sloane doesn't wish to stay on as our permanent crew, he might lose himself so completely that I won't know my friend anymore.

Not to mention, I want to feed Sloane my come and see if she reacts the same way. Maybe we can all have a nice little conversation about it once she sobers up. We can decide that she wants to get drunk on us and then let us pleasure her in all the best ways. I growl low in my chest at the thought and then rub my wrists where they start to burn again. I force the thoughts away and focus more on my other worries.

"I promised her I'd be waiting right outside her room," I snap at him. Again, it's easily the tenth time we've had this exact conversation. "How can I be there and here at the same time?"

Alik rolls his eyes, feigning a sort of unworried bravado because he doesn't want me to know just how much he's panicking, too. Not only will this be seen as him drugging our pleasure crew, but it could also jeopardize Sloane's health if she has any side effects.

I'm surprised he doesn't have all of his monitors on so he can watch her and Essa. He said something about not thinking it's right when she's not herself, but I think he just can't look at her because it'll remind him of what he did.

"What did she say to you exactly?" Alik asks. His eyes are closed except for the center one which is looking over at me.

"She made me promise not to ignore her again."

I cringe, thinking about how awkward the whole situation was. I should've just left her room, but then she was so accommodating, telling me it was okay to use her in another way since she wasn't wanting sex. I should've politely declined because I felt so miserable as soon as I finished.

We work ourselves into frenzies sometimes when taking a female, but it's never been this bad before. I'm completely lost to my base desires, wanting to take and claim.

When my head cleared, and I saw how I had spilled myself all over Sloane, I felt as though I was a vile male. Then, instead of me comforting her for using her as I did, she was the one to comfort me and tell me everything would be okay.

"Ignore her again?" Alik asks it like it's not what we've been doing.

I didn't realize that our isolation away from everyone was being seen as us avoiding the sweet human female, but that's what we were doing, even if that wasn't our intention. After we found pleasure in Sloane's body the first time, we both realized we were losing ourselves too quickly, too easily, and we couldn't burden her with our neediness. We've had her once, and now there's an itch under our pelts, a voice in the back of our minds begging us to go to her.

When I woke up that night, drenched in sweat, wanting to go down and wrap Sloane up in my arms to find comfort and peace, I knew I needed to keep more space between us. She's here to do a job, not become a companion to the crew.

For all I know, she's only eager to please us because she can orgasm many times on our cocks. It's a perfectly fine reason, but I don't need to be conflating it with wanting to be the sole bringer of my pleasure.

Alik made it easier not to see her. He told me we weren't bothering her until she turned her pendant to green again so she could figure out her feelings, and so we could try to regain some of our composure.

When he gives commands, I follow them. That's how this relationship works.

"When we started spending all of our time up here so we weren't seen as clingy or needy when she wasn't ready for us, she must have seen it as avoiding her."

"Well, that makes sense for how she viewed you, but I've avoided her since she joined the ship." Alik shrugs, thinking his reason is a good enough one not to need to reassure Sloane that we still want her on the ship as our pleasure crew.

No, I just want her on the ship in general, pleasure crew or human crew. I'm sure Alik feels the same, not that he'll tell me unless he's lost to the lust that consumes us.

He's been the one to make her beg us to impregnate her, something that only feeds that primal part of us. Next, he'll be asking her to call him mate and to let him bite her, and then we'll be in real trouble.

Role-playing that we're filling the human with our young is one thing. It's a whole other to fully mark her and claim her, something our contract states we won't do. As though that would stop Alik at all after what he's done already.

"Well, she's doubting that we want her," I snarl at Alik, who rolls his eyes again.

"I know."

He points at the darkened circle around his eye where Essa punched him earlier. He didn't even try to stop her when she swung at him, probably feeling just as miserable as I am. When I asked him what happened, he told me Essa didn't hit him hard enough. Probably true since she's stronger than anyone else on the ship. If she wanted to hurt Alik, she would've hurt him, and since he's still here talking with just a swollen eye, it's clear it was more of a warning shot than anything else.

Unlike Alik, I went and started a fight with Phial when I saw him leaving the bathroom after being tucked away in the navigation pit with Sloane for a few hours. He didn't want to answer my questions about what they were doing in there, and he seemed even more eager to poke fun at me.

When he asked me if I was jealous that Sloane was more interested in his and Holoth's companionship, I wrapped a hand around his throat and kicked his leg out from underneath him. He no longer found it amusing after that. No, he pulled his blaster on me and asked me if I was still myself or if he needed to shoot. It sobered me from my anger, and I ran back to my room, hating myself for getting that worked up in the first place.

"We need to amend the contract," I say, rubbing the back of my head so much that my hair is never going to lie right again.

I'm used to the restlessness of being around a female. I've gone many days feeling restless, and never once have I had to have a blaster pulled on me on day three to calm me down.

It's barely been a few hours, and I can already feel myself slipping away, wanting the primal part of me to take over. I want to take, claim, mark, and protect. All things I can't do, especially if I'm so close to losing myself.

"New rules?" Alik rubs his chin. His other hand is already grabbing for his comm and opening it up. He pulls open a blank document log and begins to type. "What do we need from her?"

"More frequent sex, or at least use of her in a sexual manner." It's the most obvious answer to our problem, but it comes with its own difficulties. "If we do that, I think we need rules for how we behave, too."

"No shit." Alik types away without even waiting for me to suggest how we should act.

I don't say anything. I just try to peek over his shoulder and read as much as I can when he types so fast. When he finishes, he scrolls back up to where he was and then reads it aloud to me.

"No fucking her together, no asking her to role-play getting pregnant, no lips or teeth near her neck, and timed sessions to make sure we don't let ourselves slip too far."

"A timer?"

I flop down on my bed, feeling like I did when we had our second pleasure crew member. She also had a timer, but it wasn't because we wanted to rut her and have her say filthy things to us. No, she just didn't enjoy being part of the pleasure crew. We offered to drop her off at whichever port station she wanted, but she'd always choose those times to dress seductively, say the right things to us to get us in bed, and then start her stupid timer. It would buy her another week on the ship and more money in her account when we finally finished our mission.

Thinking about having a timer with Sloane doesn't feel exactly like that, but it's not a great memory, either.

"Yes, the longer we're near her, letting her tease us and getting ourselves worked up, the more likely we are to slip," Alik speaks as though he's not the one who's slipped the most both times we've been with her. "A timer will ensure we get in and get out as soon as possible."

I have to admit that he makes good points, but that doesn't mean that I have to like these rules. "What about when she's just human crew?"

"Then I think we're fine to be around her." Alik looks at his comm and types out some more before reading it out to me again. "If we start to feel any sort of restlessness, anger, or sense of our baser instincts kicking in, we'll alert Sloane, and she can decide if she wants us to leave her alone or if she wants to assist." He chews on his upper right thumb, eyes scanning over the comm screen once more. "That all sounds good and reasonable, right? It doesn't sound like we're being too demanding?"

"I mean, if it were me, I'd ask for sex at least once a day if Sloane's okay with it." Really, I'd be begging to see if we could test that multiple times a day thing that I keep fantasizing about when it's just me, my hand, and my thoughts of Sloane's naked body. "Obviously, if she doesn't want to one day, we don't hold her to it, but I think we need to let them know just how bad this is affecting our ability to do our job."

"Fuck!" Alik pushes from his desk, pulling a second comm tablet out from underneath his bed and opening it up quickly. "Almost forgot to update Varth on our progress to the rendezvous."

My stomach twists at the reminder of what we're actually doing out here in the middle of nowhere. Sure, any reason is a good reason to be trapped in a spaceship with Sloane. But, in about a week, we'll be waiting for smugglers who want to take her. Smugglers who believe we're going to sell her to them.

It makes it feel gross, though. Not to mention the danger she'll be in just by being that close to a human smuggling ship. The idea of what could happen to her if things go wrong sends a shiver down my spine.

Alik's face screws up for a moment like he's thinking the same thing as me. He tosses the comm tablet used to communicate with the smugglers back under his bed and then continues on our list.

"Sex every day if possible, a timer, no fucking her together," he continues to ramble off the rest of the list and mentally check each one. It isn't until he's edited it three times to word it in a slightly different way that he leans back in his chair and tosses the comm to me. "How's that look?"

I scan over the words, not really paying them much attention since I just heard Alik go over them over and over out loud as he typed it up. It's everything he's already said to me, and I agree with all of it, even if the timer makes me want to ram my head into a wall.

There's nothing more demoralizing than having a female watching the time to make sure you finish fast enough. Well, the only thing more demoralizing is when you end up frequently finishing with minutes left.

"Essa will need to be there for this conversation." I toss the comm back to him. "It's Sloane's first pleasure trip, so Essa will have been taking many, many notes. She's probably already alerted the pleasure crew company of the drugging. Our rating's going to be bad if we even still have one."

"I don't care," Alik snaps, his mood souring almost instantaneously. "Why should I care what our rating is?"

"Do you never want another female on this ship again?"

Alik's eyes narrow on me, his hands wrapping around his wrists and rubbing at them like something is irritating the pelt. "You've been with her, and you can think of being with another female?"

When I look back up at Alik's eyes, I see my friend is gone. The angry beast of a male in front of me is the same male that had Sloane beg us to give her young and almost marked her with his teeth the first time we were inside her. There will be no reasoning with him, maybe not even winning a fight if I don't play my cards right here.

"That isn't what I meant, Alik." I use his name, hoping it pulls him further into control of his body. "You know how I feel about her."

"Do I?" He stands from his chair, and I do the same, not wanting to be on my bed if he lunges for one of our harnesses with our daggers.

"You're not acting yourself right now." I try to keep my voice calm, not needing Alik to pull a stunt like this so soon after being with Sloane. It only makes our need for her seem even more dire and desperate. "You need to calm down before the females come to find us."

"I only need to claim that little female as mine." Alik swings a fist into my lower abdomen, but I'm ready for it and swing one into his jaw.

He snarls, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth, but he only smiles and continues trying to goad me into losing myself, too. He wants me to be like him, so we're unstoppable in our need for Sloane. Not that we'd force her even in that state, but we'd be very, very pursuant of her, and she's already proved to be a very accommodating female with all of our other desires.

"Want to know why I fed her my come?"

"Because it's arousing." I shake my head, not even knowing what kind of question that is.

If it wouldn't get her all worked up, I'd be having Sloane on her knees, taking me in her mouth the next time she was willing. As it stands now, I'll never get to feel that, but it's okay since it'll keep Sloane safe.

"No," Alik growls, then cocks his head to the side, the anger in his eyes shimmering even as humor flickers in them for a moment. "Well, yes, but that wasn't my reason."

"I don't care about what your reasons were." It's true for the most part.

If this were Alik telling me himself, maybe I'd care, but it's the most primal part of himself gloating to goad me into getting just as angry and needy to claim Sloane as he is. He must have some control because he's staying in our room and not hunting for Sloane.

"She called me mate." He smiles darkly at me, pride filling his chest when he sees me give in for just a moment. "Sweet little Sloane on her knees, begging for her mate's come. It was beautiful."

"Alik." My voice is a dark growl, the sliver of control I have starting to crack, and he knows it. "She can't be our mate."

Matings happen on our planet often enough when a female allows the males housing her to claim her. That's for females of our own species, though. In accordance with our planet's restrictions with the Intergalactic Alliance, we aren't allowed to claim females from other species unless a mate bond forms and those are rare enough as it is between our own species.

In all my time exploring the universe, I've only come across a few bonded Varons. Most Varons stay planetside anyway and hope they'll find a mate amongst the females we allow into our homes.

Some females on Varon join pleasure crews to aide Varon males working on space crews. But for the most part, they join housing ceremonies. The ceremonies allow them to find a pair of males who will house them for a few months to see if bonds form between them. It's a time-honored tradition that allows females to be cared for and males to find some companionship. Most of the time males will mate with a female even without bonds forming, but it doesn't stop plenty from searching. Even when it's just normal mating, males will get the mate bond markings tattooed into their skin to show their devotion to their female.

Alik's lips pull back, a growl vibrating in his chest since he doesn't seem to like the truth I'm giving him.

A soft knock on our bedroom door has both Alik and me startling. It's enough to get Alik back in control of his body, and he looks like he's barely holding on when he lets the door slide open, revealing a pissed off Essa and a sleepy looking Sloane.

"We need to talk." Sloane's voice is a whisper, her eyes hooded in exhaustion.

I want to ask Essa what she was thinking keeping Sloane up when she looks ready to fall asleep standing up, but Essa holds her hands up in surrender and shakes her head like she's as opposed to this idea as Alik and I are.

Sloane's sleepy murmur continues. "Right now. We're going to talk."