Chapter 18

DARCY

* * *

A hot shower never felt better. I attempt to wash all the alcohol, regret, and disappointment down the drain from last night. Unfortunately, there isn't enough shampoo in the world for that.

From the sizzling looks I got from Matt at dinner to the growl that filled his voice when he confronted Ryan, he acted like he wants me. And his words? Everything. That word echoes in my head as I wonder what that means to him.

I can't believe I ran into Ryan last night. I haven't seen him in months, not since the last time he stood me up and I've ghosted him ever since. I don't have time to be strung along by someone that doesn't have the courtesy or kindness to treat me with respect. Sure, Ryan's cute, and we have fun at parties. He is also self-absorbed and doesn't consider how his actions impact others. Honestly, I've outgrown him.

Ryan is like my old pair of middle school Chuck Taylors. They're comfortable, and you know they aren't the best, but they're yours. And then they fray in all the wrong places. And then you hit a growth spurt a few years later, and they just become uncomfortable and unwearable. For sentimental reasons, you keep them tucked in the back of your closet, reminding you of the good times you had in them. Eventually, the sentimentality doesn't balance out the need for room for new shoes, and you toss them out. Yep. That's Ryan. It's time to toss him out to make room for someone new.

He caught me coming out of the bathroom and thought that tear was actually for him. As if. The alcohol weakened the wall around my heart, and I needed a break from Matt. Watching him come to life around Cole and tamp it down around me cut me deep. Matt and Cole are brothers. They need each other, especially now with all the changes they're going through. They haven't spent more than a few days apart since they were eight. Matt misses him and needs his friend. I can't get between them.

I've distracted Matt, keeping his mind off his new life. And if I'm honest with myself, I serve as a small link to Cole. He keeps me close as a duty to his friend.

Everything.

Shortly after that hallway encounter, Matt asked Jay to make sure I got home okay and made his excuses to leave. He hugged Ashleigh and Sammie, giving them both kisses on the cheek, me a half wave, and left.

Unfortunately, now is not the time to dissect last night. It's Sunday brunch at my mom's. I'm not in the mood to make an effort, so I wear an oversized Liberties sweatshirt, leggings, and my new Chuck Taylors. My shoe choice makes me laugh to myself. A clean face and messy bun complete the Sunday morning, I was out late last night, would rather be in bed, look.

Sammie is at the kitchen table typing away at her computer, her look similar to mine.

"Coffee's still on," she says, glancing at the counter.

"Thanks. Wanna come to brunch this morning?" Sunday brunch at mom's has always been an open invitation since I can remember. Sometimes, it was just Mom, Cole, and me. Other times, we'd have six or ten friends join us. No need to RSVP. Show up and come as you are. I always liked the surprise of who might show up. Today, I'm anxious about who might be there.

"Can't. I need to finish this paper and start my final project for Organic Chemistry."

I lean against the counter and take a sip of my coffee.

Everything.

The typing stops, and I glance at Sammie, who is staring at me.

"Want to talk about it?" She cocks her head and gives me a knowing look.

"Talk about what?" I ask innocently.

"Matt."

That's the problem with having a best friend. They know. Everything.

I shrug. "Nothing to really talk about. He's Cole's best friend."

"And?"

"And nothing." I drink my coffee and wipe at a non-existent spot on the counter.

"The looks at dinner last night were not nothing. The sexual tension was so thick, I was practically uncomfortable."

"I don't know. You and Jay were pretty cozy." I give her a lazy smile. "I like you two together." I sip my coffee and avoid making eye contact.

"Don't deflect. We're not talking about how awesome Jay is and how he's a great kisser. No ma'am. This is about you." Her eyes soften. "You've carried a torch for that boy since we were kids. And if I'm reading the room correctly, he's finally noticed you in that way, too."

Tears well up in my eyes as my heart flutters. Her words allow another seed of hope to plant itself. Was he looking at me like that?

Sammie comes into the kitchen and wraps her arms around me, and I hug her tightly. This girl is my rock. My person. I would shatter if I ever lost her. That's what best friends are, the glue that holds us together. I think about Matt and Cole. I can't be the reason Matt shatters. Not when he needs him more than ever.

I speak my fear. "I can't be the reason he loses Cole."

Her shoulders bounce as I pull away and wipe my tears.

"Are you laughing at me?"

I'm so shocked at her reaction that it stops my tears.

"Gah, you're your own worst enemy. What makes you think Cole would be mad? Don't you think he wants you with a great guy? And don't you think Matt is at the top of that list? I think he'd be happy for you two."

I shake my head and grab my purse. "Sammie, I thought you were the smartest person I knew. But that's one of the dumbest things I've ever heard."

* * *

Only Cole's rental car is parked at my childhood home. Looks like it's going to be a small brunch this morning. I take a deep breath and pull my armor up. I can show them I'm fine. I can do this.

Walking in, the smell of applewood bacon and pancakes reminds me I'm home. Voices drift from the kitchen, Mom reprimanding Cole for something, and Ashleigh giggles.

"Not fair, two against one," he whines. "I think you like her best." I lean against the door frame and take in the sight. Cole has flour in his hair and looks like he's on the losing side of whatever's going on. A smile fills his face. I've never seen him happier. The kitchen blurs as tears fill my eyes.

"There's my baby girl," Mom says when she notices me in the doorway.

"Hey, Darce," Cole says.

I give him my "I'm fine" smile, and he comes and holds me by my shoulders.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" His radiant smile gone, replaced by a look of concern. Mom and Ashleigh go still waiting for my response.

I sniffle, wipe at my traitorous tears, and shake my head. "Nothing. I've never seen you look so happy. You've smiled and laughed more this weekend than in your entire life. I'm so happy for you."

I wrap my arms around him and give him a hug that conveys just how much I love him. He kisses me on the top of my head and hugs me back.

I hear Mom sniffle and peek at her. She's hugging Ashleigh, and they're both crying.

"Damn, women. Knock it off. I can't handle all these tears. I need to get more testosterone over here. Hell, I'd even take your brothers or Chance to even the score," he says to Ashleigh.

Ashleigh throws a dishtowel at him, and he winks at her.

"Matt's not with you, honey?" Mom asks.

I give her a puzzled look. "Why would he be with me?"

"Well, he came with you last time," she says with a shrug.

"Matt came to brunch with you?" Cole looks at me, his face asking a different question.

"Matt's been to brunch hundreds of times. What's the big deal?" I shrug and make my face as neutral as possible.

Cole relaxes and puts his arm around my shoulders, pulling me further into the kitchen. "Yeah, I guess you're right. He spent as much time in this house as I did in his. So where's his sorry ass?"

"Cole, language," Mom gently reprimands.

I shrug. "I don't know. I'm not his keeper. That's your job." I try to keep my tone light but fail. Cole looks back at me and starts to say something.

"Cole, will you grab my sweater from the car?" Ashleigh asks, stopping him from his thought.

He immediately rushes to her side. "Sure, you okay?"

"Yep. Just a little chilled," she replies, rubbing her arms. He kisses her on her forehead and heads outside.

As soon as the door closes, she turns to me, looking like a predator eyeing its prey.

"You've got two minutes to tell me what's going on with you and Matt."

I hear Mom give a slight gasp and then giggle. My mom? With a giggle. I'm doomed.

"Nothing's going on, I swear. Nothing." Everything. "I'm just his best friend's little sister."

Ashleigh's look turns lethal. "Yeah, not buying it."

"Suit yourself," I say. "He's been beyond helpful with my project. But nothing's going on. Nothing." Everything.

"But you like him?"

There is no sense in lying about this. She's known about my crush since we spent a week together in Nashville.

"She's always crushed on Matt, probably since middle school," Mom chimes in.

"Seriously?" I can't believe my mother just sold me out. I'm with Cole on this one. I think Mom might like Ashleigh best.

"So, what's the problem?" Ashleigh asks.

The front door opens, and I arch my eyebrow. She gives me a knowing nod and a sympathetic smile. With a sigh, she says, "Brothers."

* * *

Brunch is filled with laughter and great food, just like always. Growing up, we didn't have many family meals around the table. Mom worked full time, and Cole had baseball practices or games several nights a week, which didn't leave us much downtime in the evenings. But Sundays were ours. As Mom would say, Sundays were our day for family, both by blood and by love. Friends were always welcome for Sunday brunch. Most Sundays included Sammie and Matt, Mom's coworkers, neighbors, and old and new friends.

Mom entertains Ashleigh with stories of Cole as a kid under the guise that she needs to know what she's getting into before they get married. The one constant in all the stories? Matt. My heart warms thinking about how ingrained he is in our family.

"You know, Matt asked me out first," Ashleigh shares with us.

Cole rolls his eyes and scoffs at her.

"I didn't know that," Mom says. "My biggest fear was that a girl would come between those two."

"Nah, a girl couldn't wreck what we have. Brothers for life. Besides, it's not like he had a chance with my girl. She only had eyes for me." He gives her a wink and a squeeze and she playfully rolls her eyes. Cole laughs. "But he knows how to push my buttons. Speaking of which, we have just enough time to see this project you're working on and swing by Matt's to say goodbye. Sound good, Darce?"

"Sure. I can't wait to show you the room I'm designing for you two."

"What are you talking about?" she asks. "This is Chance's getaway house."

"Not exactly. It's his family retreat. And you're family. Come on, I'll show you."

* * *

After a quick tour of the construction zone that's my senior project, Cole and Ashleigh are practically gushing. They loved all the design elements and told me they can't wait to celebrate New Year's here. Thanksgiving will be at Tripp Stevenson's Mexico place with Ashleigh's brothers.

"I can't wait to brag about this place when we're at Tripp's. Chance wanted something comparable, but this place is hand-downs a thousand times more amazing. I've officially felt the Darcy effect," Ashleigh says. She gives me an enormous hug. "Seriously, your future in design is bright. People, houses, doesn't matter. You have a way of giving them the it factor. The Darcy sparkle. I can't wait to help you launch your business after graduation."

"Proud of you," Cole says as he hugs me goodbye with a kiss to the temple.

"Same."

I watch them pull out of the driveway and return to the house. Since I'm here, I might as well get to work.