Chapter 19

NINETEEN

Z ed opened his eyes to see the familiar riveted ceiling of the Chaos 's med bay stretching overhead. Two things occurred to him. The first was that he'd clearly passed out—again. He wondered if he could get Ness to reward him if he managed to go a month without needing a visit to her domain. Worth looking into.

The second thing was that someone was whispering in his ear. He lifted a heavy hand and pulled at the lobe, trying to dislodge the voice.

"Zanderanatolius."

"Oh." Not a whisper, then.

Clothing rustled next to his bed and he directed his gaze sideways in time to see Flick straighten, his boots slapping the metal floor. "Zed. You awake?"

"How do you feel?"

"How do you feel?"

Well, this was going to get old quick. "I'm fine," Zed rasped.

Ness approached, her wallet out, readouts dimly visible on the display. "They did something?—"

"The stin poison ? —"

"—but your vitals look good and?—"

"—we have been monitoring ? —"

"—should be fine?—"

"—simply need to rest and ? —"

Zed lifted his hands to cover his face. "Stop. Please. One at a time."

Flick shifted in his seat, making metal scrape against metal, and shared a concerned look with Ness. "Zed, are you sure?—"

"Apologies, Zanderanatolius."

Zed took his hands away from his face and tapped a finger against his temple. "Give me a sec?"

Ness's eyes widened. "They're talking to you?"

Flick's expression said he wasn't sure if Ness should give him a shot of something. Zed closed his eyes, shutting out the vision of his lover—former lover? God, I don't want to think about that —and focused instead on the voice in his head.

"I'm here," he sent to them, meaning well, healthy, conscious, alive. As always, the mental words weren't really words, but concepts, ideas. His brain just interpreted them as speech.

"We are glad." He sensed hesitation and regret, and the next thoughts were weighed with each. "We did not realize that our mark would not be understood."

"The cuff?" Zed smiled. "It's sort of nondescript."

"We did not think you would appreciate a brand on your forehead."

Zed's eyes snapped open as he let out a snort of laughter. "Oh my God, they made a joke."

"This is really fucking weird," Flick muttered. Ness gently cuffed the back of his head.

"At least, I think it was a joke." To the Guardians, "It was a joke, right?"

"Yes, Zanderanatolius. It was a joke."

"It was a joke," Zed assured Flick and Ness, then he remembered that they wouldn't have heard the comment. He frowned. "Sorry. I think I'm still loopy."

Flick grunted, as though that wasn't a surprising statement. "Can you ask them if keeping us locked in regular space is supposed to be a joke, too?"

"What?"

"They've got jamming tech or something," Flick said, slouching in his chair. "Wouldn't let us start up the c-core and kept the Cambridge from moving, too."

"We needed to ascertain your health before allowing either vessel to depart," the Guardians said, sensing his question before he could give it a mental voice.

Just in case. He really didn't want to think about what would have happened to the Cambridge if he hadn't woken up. "They wanted to be sure I was okay," he said. "I'm fine."

Hesitance again. And was that…sheepishness? "If ever you have need of us, Zanderanatolius, focus and our mark will call."

"That would've been good to know a few days ago."

"Yes. We agree. We assumed that, since you had acclimatized to this manner of communication, that you would understand…" A tendril of frustration wove through his thoughts.

"Hey, don't be frustrated with me that I didn't know how the cuff worked."

Ness paled. "Zed, are you seriously talking to the Guardians like?—"

A mental finger poked at Zed's brain and he winced. "Ow."

"Watch your tone, Zanderanatolius."

Zed smirked. Yep. As he'd thought before, many times, they were just like his Nana. "Yes, Guardians."

"We hear your amusement."

"Thank you, Guardians," Zed replied silently, putting all of his gratitude into the concept behind the words. He still didn't know what purpose they expected him to fulfill, but in this moment, it didn't matter. They had rescued him. They had returned him to the Chaos . To Flick.

Even if Zed didn't know what the hell to do with the man sitting beside him.

"Farewell, Zanderanatolius." A last brush against his mental forehead, and the presence of the Guardians disappeared.

"Done?" Ness checked her readouts. "Yeah, you're done. That was fascinating."

"One word for it," Flick mumbled.

Ness leaned in to check his pupils. "How's your vision? Anything hurt?"

"I'm tired as hell. And sore all over. And my foot hurts." That pain was strong enough it needed to be mentioned separately.

"Not surprising. I'm going to keep you on fluids until we get to Alpha. ETA is about twelve hours."

Zed frowned. "I can handle a j-space?—"

"Ryan can't," Flick broke in.

Oh, right. Shit. He should have remembered that. "How's he doing?"

"Better than you." Ness offered a conspiratorial grin. "I think all he needs is rest and some TLC from his wife."

Flick grimaced. "Seriously, you had to go there?"

"Don't tell me if Zed was in any better shape that you two wouldn't be going at it like bunnies yourselves."

Zed turned his gaze back to the ceiling, but not before he saw Ness's grin fade. Clearly her brain had caught up with her tongue. "Right. I…"

She was going to step away, going to leave him alone with Flick to try to sort shit out. Everything in him rebelled at the thought. Not because he didn't want to figure out where he and Flick stood—he just didn't have the energy. His thoughts ricocheted between his temples, chaotic and scattered, and really focusing on everything he felt, trying to put it into words that made sense…he couldn't do it, not now. He couldn't reflect on what it had meant when Flick had finally said "I love you." Was it because he panicked and it just tumbled out? Did he regret saying it? Would he still walk away anyway? His head spun.

Talking about it all with Flick right now…would be bad.

He reached out to Ness as though she were a lifeline. "How's Kinley?"

Expression softening, Ness brushed a strand of hair away from his forehead. When the gentle gestures came out, Zed knew the news wasn't good. She glanced to the side, where Zed could just pick out Kinley's still form on the other med bay bed. "She's resting. Quietly."

"Has she…" He trailed off. Stupid to ask. He knew the answer.

"Not a spark," Ness confirmed. "Her body's here, but the rest of her…I'm sorry."

Before Zed could say anything in response, the door to the med bay hissed open. Elias stepped inside, followed by Marnie, and the small area suddenly felt crowded. In a mostly good way.

"There he is," Elias said, a broad smile creasing his face.

Zed returned it, but his attention was focused on Marnie. She answered his unasked question. "He's sleeping. He's good, Zed, because of you."

"I thought you were giving him TLC."

Her eyes sparkled. "I already did."

Elias chuckled, then moved around to the side of the bed to offer his hand, clasping the inside of Zed's forearm in a firm grip. "I contacted Brennan. Your family's expecting us. I gotta warn you, man, I don't think they're going to let you out of their sight for a bit."

That was something he'd have to deal with when it happened. He refused to be a prisoner of his family, no matter their good intentions. He squeezed Elias's arm in acknowledgment of the good-natured warning.

"And I've been in contact with the AEF."

Zed froze, all easiness in his body erased with Marnie's few words.

"We're good," she said, her voice full of reassurance. "Ryan and I are officially out, and they know I have enough evidence hidden away on things to make life difficult if they try to encourage us to reconsider." One eyebrow twitched upward and Zed wondered if she was secretly hoping the AEF would do something that stupid. "Between that and your family's pull, I don't think we have to worry about them anymore."

"And the Guardians," Ness pointed out.

"Yeah, but the Guardians…they're like the bogeyman. They may or may not be in that dark closet, just waiting to jump out. My intel and the Anatolius influence—those are much more tangible. Understandable."

Zed nodded. He knew what Marnie was getting at. The Guardians were a vague sort of backup—good to have, but maybe not totally reliable. He'd have to see how things played out.

"We'll find a specialist on Alpha for Ryan," he promised. Someone who could remove the implants without permanent damage so he'd be able to traverse the galaxy via j-space.

"Already done. Brennan's work." Marnie tilted her head. "You look like you're about to crash again."

Given that his eyelids had drooped to less than half-mast…"Yeah."

"Did you and Fl—uh, Fixer?—"

Ness placed a hand on Marnie's arm and gave her head a small shake. That was when Zed realized that Flick was no longer sitting in the chair beside him.

"Shit." He made to push himself up, but Elias's large hand on his shoulder prevented much movement.

"You both need to rest," he said. It sounded a little like an order. "Get some sleep and you can talk when we get to Alpha."

Exhaustion tugged the tension out of his muscles. He didn't want to lie in bed without Flick at his side, but it didn't appear as if he had much choice in the matter. Was it Flick's way of saying that things were truly over and done? Should he just let him go?

After all the bullshit of the past few months? No. Hell no. If Flick thought he was going to let him go without a fight, he was in for a nasty surprise.