25. Crave

25

Crave

Ivy

My night of sleep was short but eventful. I kept dreaming of Zane kissing me, no matter how many times I woke up and fell asleep again. That’s everyone’s wish, right? Going back to the dream you were just in? Mine too. Except when I’m kissing a guy who lives thousands of miles away, has a totally different lifestyle than mine, and is probably not even interested in me.

I draw open the curtains to look outside, but I’m not rewarded by the usual white coat of snow glistening under the sparkling sun. A thick fog has settled over Winter Heights, and I can’t even see the peak of the mountain anymore.

It seems like the perfect day to stay inside and soak in the bathtub with a book, but I’m seeing Zane today, and nothing beats that. So, I get dressed in extra warm layers and walk to our meeting point.

“Hey,” I say when I glimpse him coming. He’s wearing a bigger coat than usual, and the gray beanie on his head makes his eyes pop even more. “How’s Bobby?”

The corners of his lips twitch into a smile. “What about me, huh? Only have eyes for Bobby.”

I shake my head, rolling my eyes.

“He’s good. He even wagged his tail when I came in to feed him this morning, so that’s a good sign. He’s not a huge fan of the new food I’m giving him, but he ate everything.”

My heart soars in my chest. “Glad to hear it.”

“Are you sure you want to go out there?” he asks, glancing at the mountain. “Conditions aren’t ideal.”

I nod. “It’s just a little fog. Let’s go.” I want to make the most of my time here, which is soon coming to an end.

But as it turns out, it wasn’t just a little fog. The higher we go up the mountain, the thicker it gets, and the less visibility we have .

“Let’s just stop here,” Zane says after our second descent. “It’s not a good day to ski.”

He’s right. Most of the slopes are empty—or maybe I just can’t see people because of the fog. Either way, I’m fine with ending our session now. I’m wet and uncomfortable, and that bath is really starting to sound like heaven.

“Yeah, I’m struggling,” I say, leaning on my poles. “Maybe we should cancel our hiking trip? It’s a shame, though. I was looking forward to going. I only have two days left.”

He scratches his beard. “I know. I really want to go too. We’ll see if it clears out this afternoon. Otherwise, we’ll postpone it till tomorrow. Come by the farm after lunch, and we’ll figure it out.”

The prospect of going to Zane’s farm again to see the dogs and spend time with him, even if we can’t go out, rejuvenates me in an instant.

We say goodbye, and I hustle back to my hotel where I soak in that bathtub and order room service.

The weather is getting worse by the minute, with the wind picking up and snowflakes starting to fall, and it’s a struggle to reach Zane’s farm. I have no doubt our hiking expedition is now out of the question. The whole farm looks like a giant icicle. Everything is covered in a glimmering layer of ice, and the large barn door that allows the dogs to go out has been shut. When the wind batters my face, I hurry to the main house and knock on the door.

Zane swings the door open, and as always, the sight of him almost takes my breath away. Especially when he’s only wearing a thin sweater. “Hey, come in.”

He steps aside, letting me in before shutting the door, and I love how his place smells just like him. Fresh Mountain Man Scent. That’s how I’d label that candle.

“This weather is crazy,” I say, taking off my coat, beanie, and gloves. “It’s warm in here.”

He arches an eyebrow. “Why the tone of surprise? You thought I lived in an ice castle?”

I glance around. “Something like that.”

The entrance opens to a large living area divided in three sections. On the left is a rustic kitchen with dark wood counters and green floor tiles. In the middle, is a dining room with a large wooden table and a vintage-looking china cabinet. On the right, the living room hosts two large dark-blue couches facing a TV. The coffee table sits on a wide rug and is crowded with magazines, a remote, and a scented candle. A fireplace roars on the side of the room, warming the space and casting a soft orange glow on everything it touches. I definitely expected his home to be a lot less welcoming. It’s obviously old and hasn’t been renovated, but it looks like it’s been well-maintained throughout the years, and effort was made on the decor. I even spot a plant in one corner of the dining room as well as a large framed picture of Zane with his brother, sister, Belinda, and who I assume to be Bruce near the entrance of the house. The immediate vibe this place gives me is “cozy vintage farm that’s been lived in.”

Shaking his head, Zane laughs hard. “Sorry to disappoint, but this weather is too hardcore even for me. Haven’t you seen? Even the dogs are inside.”

I pout. “Yeah. Poor puppies. Are they scared, all alone in that barn? What about Bobby?”

“There are twenty of them,” he jokes. “They’re definitely not alone. But I was with them earlier, and we can go spend some time with them if you want. Bobby’s still doing good, but I’m sure he’d love to see you.”

A large smile tugs at my lips. “Sure. Are we alone? Where are Seth and Daisy?”

“I sent Seth home at lunchtime—we’re clearly not working today—and Daisy is at Belinda’s this afternoon. So yeah, we’re alone. If you don’t count the twenty monsters in the barn.”

I swallow hard, trying to ignore the burning in my body at the thought of being alone with Zane in this extremely cozy house. “Well then, let’s go see them. ”

I don’t know how long we spend playing with the dogs and cuddling them, but I could do this all day. They’re so affectionate and incredibly goofy. It’s enough entertainment to last a lifetime. They do get a bit of hair on my clothes, but who cares? Bobby earns an entire cuddling session before I let him rest and return to the others. And the biggest bonus—watching Zane playing with the huskies and kissing their furry heads. He lights up around the pooches and uses that cute dog voice to talk to them. You can tell he’s not holding back. This is clearly his happy place.

“You’re pretty lucky to have them. This way, you’re never alone.”

“I know it.” He chuckles, the sound going straight to my heart. “It’s both a curse and a blessing.”

“I think I’m going to get a puppy too, or a cat, maybe. They’re more independent, and I work long hours. I just can’t bear the thought of coming home to an empty house, you know?” I sigh. “I used to live with my sister before she left for France, and after that, Dan moved in. I don’t think I’ll like living alone.”

A slight wrinkle forms on Zane’s forehead as he scratches behind Bella’s ear—or maybe it’s Buffy. I’m not sure. “You don’t have any family or friends around? ”

I drop my hands to my knees. “Nope. I have some acquaintances, of course, and my work colleagues, but my sister is my best friend. I’m happy for her, but I didn’t realize how big of an impact her move to Paris would have on me. Well, I guess the impact shouldn’t have been that big since I was supposed to live with my husband. On top of that, most of our friends were his.”

The realization that I’m now utterly alone hits hard. How did I not see it before? Without my sister or Dan, I have no one. I lie down on the hay, and Burger comes to sniff my face. “Oh gosh. My life is a mess, and here I am, babbling to you about my problems. This new year is just far from what I thought it would look like.”

He leans down next to me, his shoulder grazing mine, and my pulse quickens. “I get it. But sometimes, the most unexpected things in life are the most beautiful.” He turns to face me, and we lock eyes. A whirlwind of emotions consumes me. I’m trying to make sense of it when Bella walks over Zane’s chest and starts licking him all over the face.

Yup. You and me both, girl. Only I don’t have the guts.

After a few more minutes of puppy play time, we head back to Zane’s house. We hear the wind picking up as we take off our coats. Walking over to the kitchen window, Zane peers at the driving snow that has started to fall .

“It’s getting really bad out there,” he says, turning to me. “You should stay here tonight. Even walking the half mile to your hotel could be dangerous. The roads will be icy.”

My heart surges in my chest. Spending the night here with Zane? I don’t think I could ever agree to that without putting in peril every effort I’ve made until now to suppress the desire burning inside me every time I lay eyes on him.

But then again, it’s for my own safety.

“Right.” I bite my bottom lip. “Are you sure? I don’t want to impose.”

He shakes his head, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “You’re not. I’ll make some dinner, and then we can watch a movie?”

“Who are you?” I strangle out a laugh. “Cooking and a movie? Is that really your thing?”

He tilts his head to the side, clearly amused. “You took me to a cooking lesson, remember? I’m now a certified chef. And I actually don’t watch many movies, but I thought it might be something you’d like.”

I wipe my palms on my pants. It’s getting warmer by the second in here. “Sure. That’d be great.”

Zane

Ivy is bustling around my kitchen, helping me make dinner. And the truth is, I want her here. I long for her touch as we bump into each other, reaching for the same utensil, or when her body brushes against mine when she passes behind me. I have totally and utterly fallen for Ivy Clark, and I’m not sure what to do about it. All I know is that I can’t let her out into a snowstorm, so here we are. I know I said hair removal was the ultimate torture. Well, I take it back. Spending the night indoors with the woman you like when you’re well aware the feeling’s not mutual? That’s the real torture. The worst kind. The kind you hate but also crave deep inside.

We’re almost done preparing our fancy meal—spaghetti and meatballs—when Daisy calls to let me know she’s staying at Belinda’s tonight. She doesn’t want to leave her alone in this weather, and I don’t argue.

The food is pretty good, though there is a lot of room for improvement. Maybe I should suck it up and book another lesson with Giuseppe. Everyone says the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Maybe it’s the same for women? Luckily, Ivy doesn’t complain and eats everything on her plate.

Once we clear the table, we settle on the couch. Ivy is sitting right next to me, the cozy throw blanket covering her. We go for an old classic, Home Alone .

It’s one of the few movies I’ve actually seen and enjoy, but I can’t concentrate on Kevin’s shenanigans with Ivy huddled so close to me. Her perfume, the sound of her laughter, her velvety skin inches from mine. It’s just too much. My mind starts spiraling, my heart thundering in my chest, threatening to burst out. I’m on sensory overload.

At this point, I’m not even watching the movie anymore. How can I when the most gorgeous woman on the planet is sitting next to me?

Probably feeling my gaze, she turns to face me, and I see a gleam in her emerald eyes that wasn’t there before. It mirrors the way I’m feeling inside, and suddenly, the debate about whether to kiss her vanishes.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, I plunge my gaze into hers, ready to kiss her. But without warning, she leans forward first, pressing her velvety lips on mine in a featherlight kiss. Her touch is soft and tentative, like she’s just testing the waters. My world tilts on its axis, heart bouncing in my ribcage. And in this moment, I know it’s never going to be enough. Now that I’ve had a taste, I’m craving more.

Cupping her face with my palm, I urge her closer, and our mouths collapse against each other again. Harder this time. It’s like the New Year’s fireworks are exploding all over again, except this time, they’re in my stomach and booming louder than ever before.

I pull back for a second, studying her, and the raw look in her eyes consumes me. She clutches my shirt, closing the gap between us. Her lips are like liquid fire on mine, igniting a flame I didn’t know existed.

We can’t stop now. At least, I know I can’t. All I want is to keep kissing Ivy over and over again. And I’m the luckiest man in the entire world, because she lets me.