Chapter one

August

I ignore my brother again as he tries to plead his case, but his arguments fell on deaf ears several hours ago.

I'm methodically scrubbing down the kitchen counter, and the sink, and anything else I can find to keep my mind somewhat busy; anything that will prevent me from going after her. Delaney might have told me we were over, but she doesn't get to decide that.

We're going to pick her up in the morning, and we"re going to drive to her new dorm, and we're going to talk. We're going to get over whatever miscommunication there was between her and my brother, and we're going to move past it. There aren't any other options, because she's mine. I know she is.

My brother finally gives up on me, heading to his room but not quite closing the door. I use the silence and the absence of him to just breathe, resting my forehead on the cool tile of our countertop so I can really think.

Whatever drama that"s happening between us and Delaney has to be back seat to her comfort and safety. That's the most important thing right now.

The students at Hemlock have been on a short break between semesters, and while I'm not really sure why Adam chose to stay on campus and squeeze in a fast track course instead of hanging out with Delaney, I'm under no illusions that we won"t be seeing a lot of him when we get there. This means him and I need to figure out a way to be best fucking friends, because I will not do anything to jeopardize my permanent place in her life. All her friends will become my best fucking friends.

Delaney's starting school in the middle of the year, and she's at a complete disadvantage because everybody's comfortable in their routines and in their dorms, and she's going to be the new girl. She needs to be comfortable around me and Jackson, no matter what. So if that means shutting up the part of my brain that says Adam is an idiot and not worthy of Delaney, so that there's no conflict between us, so be it.

When I finally convince myself there's nothing else I can possibly do to prepare for tomorrow, I get ready for bed, but I know my mind won't shut off.

I grab my headphones and put some music on low, needing something to calm me down and focus my brain, something to distract it from everything it wants to over-analyze and plan for right now.

By the time my alarm goes off I feel like I've gotten at least some sleep, but I"m nowhere near rested enough because…previous reasons.

The first thing I do is check my phone because it's become habit at this point to see what silly things Delaney texted me, but then I remember she thinks we"re broken up, so I almost don't want to look.

Except that there is a text from her.

My brother barges in, half asleep with his phone in his hand, clearly a recipient of the text as well. "Is this code for something I'm unfamiliar with?" he asks, rubbing his eyes as his hair sticks up everywhere. "And why would she just leave like that? Does she not realize how dangerous that was, going there alone?"

Delaney: sometimes mountain goats just need to climb the rock on their own to feel worthy of their ecosystem. I am the mountain in this scenario.

Delaney: P.S. I left for hemlock last night because I needed some space. If you decide not to come, send a pigeon.

As I'm trying to puzzle through that, another text comes in. My brother's phone vibrates as he receives it as well, which might be an okay sign.

Delaney: Have you seen my special edition ham? I can't find it

Delaney: oops sorry, wrong person

Delaney: August, Jackson, I met a ham last night

Delaney: ham

Delaney: HAM

Delaney: Godsdamn it I meant to write man. No, not man. Person. Yes, person. I like that word better anyways. Aren't we all just people after all? Guess plan B is out. Adam loves somebody else. But it's okay, they gave me some seltzers to take back to my room with me as a housewarming gift. That'll keep me company I suppose.

Delaney: now I want ham

"I think she's drunk," I say as I throw my arm over my face.

I've only seen her drunk a couple times, but if she's drinking, then she's messed up like us, which means that she hasn't written us off. I refuse to accept that we're over. Did I mention that?

"I guess we should go buy some ham," Jackson mumbles. "How soon you want to leave?"

"I just need to shower, then we can start loading up the car. And we'll probably have to talk to the administration about getting her another parking pass since she drove her car up there. I doubt she thought of that when she fled in the middle of the night."

"Good call," Jackson replies. "I know you don't want to hear it, but—"

"You're right, I don't," I tell him, walking into my bathroom and shutting the door on the conversation.

By the time we're both ready to head out, we lock up our apartment with an odd feeling sitting in my chest. I know we'll be back here occasionally, so we aren"t completely giving the apartment up. This has been our home for several years now, and me and my brother have never lived with a woman before; is it weird that the thing I"m most scared of is us stinking up the bathroom and turning her all the way off? Maybe I should order another case of that spray for the toilet that traps in all the funk…

"Did you get the text saying she wants us to stop for laser pointers and kitty treats? She must have found a kitten or something to adopt. Are kittens allowed in dorms?"

I shrug, willing to think about anything else if it gets my brain away from the toilet rabbit hole. "Doubt it, but I will protect that kitten at the expense of my job and reputation if it gets her to look at us again."

The drive is thankfully uneventful, but I have no idea what kind of reception to expect from her. When we told her we were on our way, all she gave us was a thumbs up and a tropical fish emoji, and I have no idea if the fish was meant to be passive aggressive or not?

Finding our assigned parking spot is easy, then I have to take a minute before I can get out of the car. I haven"t really talked to her since she fake dumped me, and I feel like I might throw up. Just staring at the building where we"ll be living has my heart racing, because I know she"s up there somewhere right now, and I want to just run up to her and tell her she"s still mine and that I"m going to fix everything with my brother so the three of us can be what the goddess intended.

"We getting out or what?"

I turn my head and stare my brother down. "You have maybe a week to fix your shit. At that point, I"m un-breaking up with her whether you're on board or not."

It"s a Sunday, the day before classes start again, so we're expecting there to be lots of students around today. That means we need to keep a closer eye than normal on Delaney.

Because of whom she is, we"ve gotten a full rundown of who lives on her floor, and in the dorm, with a spreadsheet of rooms and who lives in them, and we've done full background checks on everybody directly next to her. I still look at anybody we walk by suspiciously. Well, as best as I can with luggage draped over every part of my body.

"Everybody looks so young," Jackson mumbles.

"They are in college," I remind him.

"Does Delaney look this young?"

We don't need to talk about that right now. She spent so much time alone I'm not sure she'll act like your typical college student, but then again, she still seemed pretty drunk this morning texting us, so maybe she"ll act exactly like a college student. "Age doesn't matter. Not when it's her and it"s us."

Of course there's no elevator because the building is older, and of course her room is on the top floor in the farthest corner because that's exactly why it's empty. Well, other than the fact that nobody told the room it was no longer the 1970s.

I can tell Jackson is on edge because of how whiny he"s being. "Fuck these stairs, man." He glares at his suitcase.

"Fuck you," I counter.

"Seriously? Is this how it's going to be?"

"Let's just get up there before I punch you. I'd hate to injure my fist with your face."

Her floor is conduits only, as are the two floors under her, so frankly speaking we won"t have to worry about random male neighbors traipsing about the halls. Just ones that are there because they"re either bonded to a conduit or are courting one. This does wonders for my peace of mind.

The anticipation and the not knowing what we're in for when we see Delaney again makes the trip up the stairs feel so much longer, but I'm completely on autopilot, not acknowledging much until a familiar voice on her floor pulls me out of my head.

"Why are you holding a big-ass ham?"

"Fuck. Where the hell did you come from?" I halt my steps as Adam suddenly appears in the middle of the hallway.

He smirks. "Just escorted Delaney to her new room. And cat treats? What's with those?" he asks, peeking into the bags me and Jackson are holding.

"She asked us to get them," Jackson says right before Adam starts cracking up.

"Delaney!" he calls. "You're not seriously going to give those to him, are you?"

"What?" she calls back from ahead.

We follow Adam into the room her voice is coming from, freezing as soon as we cross the threshold. Her makeup is smudged and her hair has been braided into pigtails, and she has a mug in her hand, but I'm not entirely convinced it's just coffee.

Her and Adam giggle about something quietly as we move into the room and set our stuff on the counter cautiously.

"Hey," she says. "Your rooms are right here. Do you need help carrying anything up?"

"Me and Cory already emptied her car out, so you don"t need to worry about that," Adam tells us as he puts an arm around her shoulders and guides her out of the kitchen.

"Who the fuck is Cory?" Jackson asks, wrapping one fist around the other.

I'm so confused right now.