17. Chloe

CHAPTER 17

Chloe

I sit on the couch, my fingers hovering over my phone screen, debating whether to send yet another message. It's been days since Rendal last replied, and the silence is deafening.

Each unanswered text feels like a stone added to the growing weight in my chest, a constant reminder of the distance between us. I can't help but think back to our last day at the park, replaying every moment in my head. Rendal had seemed so distant and preoccupied, his usual warmth replaced by a coolness I couldn't quite place.

Why has he pulled away? What changed? Anxiety gnaws at me, threatening to consume my thoughts, and I find myself second-guessing every interaction we've had.

I try to focus on grading papers or planning lessons for my kindergarten class, but my mind keeps drifting back to Rendal's green skin, his piercing blue eyes, and the way he used to look at me. The uncertainty is killing me, and I can't shake the feeling that something's terribly wrong.

Determined to address the issue, I send Rendal a text asking him to come over tonight so we can talk. My fingers tremble as I hit send, and I stare at my phone, willing it to buzz with his response.

The minutes tick by agonizingly slow, each one feeling like an eternity. When Rendal finally agrees, relief washes over me. My stomach does a little flip, and I take a deep breath, steeling myself for the conversation ahead.

As the evening approaches, I busy myself with preparations, my mind racing with possible scenarios. I arrange for the girls—Penelope and Zola—to spend time in Penelope's room, ensuring they won't overhear our discussion.

I set out some snacks and put on some quiet music, hoping to create a calm atmosphere. But inside, I'm a bundle of nerves, rehearsing what I want to say and bracing myself for whatever might come. The clock seems to mock me as I wait, my heart pounding with each passing minute.

The doorbell rings, and I take a deep breath before answering. Rendal stands there, looking as handsome as ever, but there's a weariness in his eyes that I've never seen before.

"Hey, come on in," I say, stepping aside to let him and Zola enter.

As soon as they're inside, Penelope comes rushing down the hallway, her eyes lighting up at the sight of her friend. "Zola!" she exclaims, grabbing the half-orc girl's hand. "Come on, I got a new game!"

The two girls dash off to Penelope's room, their giggles echoing through the house. I watch them go, wishing I could feel that carefree.

Taking a deep breath, I turn back to Rendal. "Why don't we sit down?" I gesture towards the couch, my heart pounding in my chest.

Rendal nods silently and follows me to the living room. As we settle on the couch, I can feel the tension between us, thick and suffocating.

"Rendal," I begin, my voice barely above a whisper. "We need to talk. Especially about Valeria."

I watch as his expression hardens, his jaw clenching. He avoids my gaze, staring intently at the coffee table instead.

But I can't let this go. I've spent too many nights tossing and turning, wondering what's going on, imagining worst-case scenarios. The uncertainty has been eating away at me, and I'm tired of feeling like I'm walking on eggshells.

"I can't compete with your past, Rendal," I continue, my voice growing stronger with each word. "Especially if you're going to ignore me and keep me in the dark about what's happening."

Rendal sighs heavily, running a hand through his dark hair. His blue eyes, usually so piercing and confident, now look troubled and conflicted. "Chloe," he says, his voice rough with emotion. I can hear the strain in it, the weight of the situation bearing down on him. "Zola needs her mother. She needs stability. It's... it's complicated."

I feel my heart constrict at his words. I know he's right about Zola needing her mother, but where does that leave me? Where does that leave us? The questions hang in the air between us, unspoken but impossible to ignore.

I feel a pang of empathy for his situation, understanding the complexity of co-parenting. But at the same time, a surge of anger rises within me. "What about us?" I demand, my voice rising slightly. "What about our future?"

I feel my heart constrict as Rendal's eyes meet mine, filled with sadness and conflict. The weight of his gaze is almost unbearable.

"Chloe," he begins, his voice low and strained. "I can't ignore my responsibilities to Zola. She needs her parents to get along."

His words hit me like a physical blow. I feel the air leave my lungs as I process what he's saying. My vision blurs slightly, and I blink back tears, determined not to break down in front of him.

"What..." I pause, swallowing hard against the lump in my throat. "What does that mean for us?"

Rendal's shoulders slump, and he looks away. "I don't know," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper.

The silence that follows is deafening, pressing down on us like a physical weight. I watch as Rendal gets to his feet, his imposing frame casting a shadow over me.

Suddenly, a surge of frustration courses through my veins, hot and urgent. I can't let him walk away, not like this. Not when there's so much left unsaid between us.

"You can't just leave every time something gets hard, Rendal," I say, my voice rising with emotion. The words tumble out before I can stop them, fueled by a mix of anger and desperation. "We need to talk about this! Running away doesn't solve anything."

His expression hardens, jaw clenching in that way I've come to recognize as his stubborn determination kicking in. Those piercing blue eyes, usually so warm when they look at me, now seem as cold as ice.

"I won't do this, Chloe," he says firmly, his deep voice resonating through the room. "Zola is my priority. She always has been, and she always will be."

I feel my heart constrict at his words, knowing that I can't argue against his devotion to his daughter. But surely, there has to be room for both of us in his life?

The anger in his eyes and the hard set of his jaw tell me that I'm wrong about that.

With that, he turns and heads towards Penelope's room to get Zola. I'm left sitting on the couch, stunned and hurt, watching his retreating back. The sound of his footsteps echoes in my ears, each one feeling like another crack in my heart.

I want to call out to him, to make him stay and face this, but the words die in my throat. Instead, I sit there, feeling the weight of his decision crushing down on me. The room suddenly feels too big, too empty, and I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hold the pieces of my shattered heart together.

I struggle to maintain my composure as Rendal scoops up a squirming Zola in his strong arms. Her protests echo through the house, each word like a knife twisting in my gut.

I watch helplessly as he carries her out, his broad shoulders tense and his jaw set in determination. The sound of the front door closing behind them feels so final, so devastating.

I'm left behind, my heart racing, trying desperately to hold back the tears that threaten to spill over. The silence that follows their departure is deafening, and I can't shake the feeling that everything we've built together is crumbling around me.

I sink into the couch, tears streaming down my face. What should I do now? I feel utterly helpless and alone.

My mind races, replaying our conversation over and over. How did we get here? Just a few weeks ago, everything seemed so perfect. Now, it feels like my world is crumbling around me.

I wipe my tears, trying to pull myself together. Penelope needs me to be strong. I can't let her see me like this.

Later, the silence continues to hang heavy in the air. I know I need to be strong for Penelope. With a deep breath, I head upstairs to check on her.

I find her in her room, quietly reading a book. She looks up as I enter, her little face scrunching with concern. "Mommy, are you okay?" she asks, her voice small and worried.

My heart clenches. I force a smile, crossing the room to wrap her in a tight hug. "Everything's fine, sweetheart," I assure her, though my heart aches with uncertainty. "We'll be okay."

I hold her close, breathing in the scent of her hair, trying to draw strength from her presence. How do I explain to her that the man she's grown so fond of, the one who's become such a big part of our lives, might not be around anymore? How do I protect her from the pain I'm feeling?