Chapter 3

3

Aiden

" Y ou have what we need yet?" I paced my room as I spoke to the man on the phone. "Chuck, what am I paying you for if you can't get me what I'm asking? I don't care how–"

There was a knock on my door. My mom's soft voice called from the other side. "Aiden?"

"One second," I called back before lowering my voice and finishing my call.

"Just get it for me, Chuck. Or I will find someone who will."

I hung up the phone and opened the door to find my mother standing in the hallway.

"Everything okay?" Mom was usually in the library with a book at this time of night so her visit concerned me.

"I just wanted to check on you, after what happened downstairs. Mind if I come in?"

"No, of course not. Come inside, Mom," I said.

"I know Jackson can be a bit… well, hard-headed sometimes."

"That's a nice way of putting it." I laughed to try and make it into a joke, but it wasn't funny to me. Jackson had always been a bit of an asshole. A cocky, arrogant asshole who was becoming more and more like our father every year.

Mom pursed her lips but didn't argue with me. She walked over to the window and took a seat in one of the chairs there, patting the chair next to her.

I sat beside her in silence for a long time, staring out at the snowy landscape.

"I believe you, Aiden. I know it feels like no one is on your side, but I am. I'll always be on your side, I'm your mother."

For most of my life, though warm and loving, our mother kept to herself. She let our father do most of the parenting, seeming to be a background character more than a main one, even in her own story. She always took care of us, but we were never a family that had heart-to-hearts or expressed outward affection for one another. That is, until Dad was out of the picture.

Mom had changed a lot since she left Dad. She came out of her shell. It took her some time, but she took over as matriarch of the family, handling most of the family affairs until Nathan stepped in to help her once he finished college. She blossomed, and I loved to see it.

Didn't mean it made me any less uncomfortable to talk about my feelings.

Twenty-something years of being told to suck it up and to keep it all inside took its toll on you after a while.

"I think I'm going to take a walk."

"This late?" Mom asked.

I glanced out the window. Although night had fallen, the moon shone brightly and illuminated the snow, allowing for a mildly dark appearance.

"I've walked in worse conditions in the Army, Mom," I reminded her.

"That was before your–" she cut herself off, but her gaze fell on my legs.

My jaw clenched as I was reminded that my injury would always make others see me as damaged or changed, even though it barely affected my mobility at all.

"I'm sorry, I'm your mom, Aiden, it's my job to worry about you."

"I know, but I'll be fine," I reassured her. "I won't go far; I just need to get some air."

"Alright," she said after a long pause and a sigh. "But please be careful."

She left the room as I changed into warmer attire and headed down the stairs toward the door. Nathan's voice popped up from the living room.

"Heading out?"

I paused just long enough to answer him. "Yeah, going for a walk."

"Mind if I tag along?"

He was already at the door with me before I could object.

"Did Mom put you up to this?"

"No, not at all. I'm just a bit bored."

I wasn't sure if I believed him, but I also didn't feel like arguing.

"Alright, but only if you can keep up with me."

"I think I can manage," Nathan laughed as he grabbed a coat from the front closet.

I was enjoying the silence of the mountains around me. When we got a few feet from the house, however, I recognized Nathan was struggling with something.

"So what's up, man?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"Suit yourself," I said and continued walking. If he didn't want to talk, I wasn't going to force him.

Nathan didn't speak for a few moments but finally heaved a deep sigh.

"I got an invitation to Carly and Brett's wedding."

Hearing the words caused me to stop in place and turn to face my brother. "What the hell? Really?"

"Yeah, after not talking to either of them for three years, they just invited me out of the blue."

"They're assholes. I never understood why you hung out with them."

We continued walking slowly. Nathan shrugged. "They weren't so bad, or so I thought."

"What they did to Harper was fucked up, you have to admit that."

"Yeah, it was and I should have dumped Carly after that, but she convinced me it was just a joke, she hadn't meant to hurt anyone."

"Did she pull that bullshit when you caught her with your best friend too?"

"Something like that," Nate muttered. I knew that catching his high school sweetheart in bed with his best friend had done a number on my brother, but after three years, I had expected him to be over it. Then again, maybe he was, but the invite seemed to open up fresh wounds.

Neither of us were raised with the ability to talk about our feelings openly, and I wasn't sure what to say to my brother. I could see he was hurting but wasn't sure what he needed or if he even wanted me to say anything about it.

So, I decided to change the subject to something a little more pleasant.

"Harper is pretty hot. Who knew that girl would grow up to look like that."

Nathan chuckled but kept his gaze fixed in front of us.

"What? You don't think so?"

"No, she's gorgeous," Nathan said. "I really didn't expect her to show up looking like that either after all these years."

"But?"

"But what?" Nate looked over at me.

"There's a but in there, I can hear it. I'm not Jackson, man. You can talk to me."

"Just that she hates my guts, that's all. Not that I blame her."

"That wasn't you."

"She thinks it was."

"Well, clear the air between the two of you."

Nate shrugged. "I don't know."

"What I know is that I would give almost anything to get her into my bed, even just for a night." The words slipped out.

Nate looked over at me with a strange look. "She's our sister's best friend."

"Yeah I know. Not like I'm going to actually do it. Harper may hate you most of all, but I'm a pretty close second."

"I think Jackson takes that spot."

"Well, that might be true," I said, rubbing my knee as my pace slowed. The snow was heavy and thick at times, and we were headed up a hill that was testing me. I knew I could manage, I had done far harder courses, but that was before the bombing.

"We were pretty mean to her growing up," Nathan said softly.

"We treated her like we did Kat."

"Which was also pretty mean if you think about it. I know we thought we were being funny, but we often pushed it too far."

"I can't argue there." My face twisted in pain as we reached the top of the hill.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I snapped.

"I think we should head back."

"If you want to go back, go back. I told you not to come along if you can't keep up."

"I'm not the problem here, Aiden."

"Well you're the one talking about quitting."

"You know who you sound like right now? Dad. Whom you claim you hated, but here you are, acting just like him. Stubborn as hell and refusing to admit that you're hurting."

"Fuck off, Nate. I'm not like Dad." My voice echoed through the air.

I walked down the other side of the hill, which was almost as bad as going up. My damaged leg was screaming in pain as I reached the bottom and tried to leave Nathan in the dust, to prove to him that I wasn't broken.

I glanced back to see Nate was still behind me, but he stayed put. Good. I wanted to be left alone.

Every time I took one step forward to bonding with my brothers, something always happened that pushed me two steps back.

Sometimes I wondered why I even bothered.

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