Chapter 2

2

Jackson

H arper Olson. Damn. Had you told me that geeky ginger-haired girl with freckles and braceswould turn into an absolute bombshell, I'd have called you a fucking liar. I couldn't even put my finger on what it was about her that drove me absolutely wild the moment my eyes fell on her. Maybe it was her sexy librarian look, the way her curly hair was pulled back into the messy bun, tendrils framing her delicate face, or those stylish yet simple glasses which made her blue eyes appear larger and doe eyed.

She was exactly the distraction I needed right then—watching her leave the room, her curvy hips swaying with every step—made me forget all about the fact that there was an empty chair at the table.

What I wouldn't give to bend her over a desk and—

"Jackson?" My mom's voice cut through my fantasy. "You okay, dear?"

"I'm fine," I said. More than fine, except that all the blood in my body had rushed down south and I was trying to adjust myself without my mom or brothers noticing the tightness in my jeans.

"I know that your dad not being here is difficult for you."

"It's fine," I snapped. I reached for my glass only to realize it was empty. I motioned for Gerard but quickly realized that he had left the dining room already. Everyone had finished their coffee, their places had been cleaned up, and it was just me and my family sitting around, like old times. Except when Dad was around, we might have a game of Monopoly, his favorite, and play late into the night while he humbled us by kicking our asses every single time. None of us liked playing with him, come to think of it, but it was a near nightly requirement during our vacations.

I grabbed the glass from earlier, walking over to the bar for some more whiskey when I noticed all eyes were on me.

"What is it?"

"We're worried about you, Jackson," Mom said.

I scoffed. "Maybe you are, but I guarantee those two are just waiting for me to fall and make an ass of myself."

I waited for my mom to scold me, but this time she didn't look upset at my language. She looked worried. Deep frown lines set in on her face, lines that I had thought were erased via Botox long ago.

"Your brothers love you, Jackson. And like me, we're all a bit worried about how much you've been drinking."

"I'm on vacation, Mom. It's been a rough year with the bar exam and all that."

I poured myself a drink and headed for the door, not wanting to discuss my feelings. My dad's words echoed in my ears, "Feelings are for girls. Feelings are dangerous. They show weakness. That weakness can be used against you."

I wasn't about to show my brothers that I was weak. Fuck no.

"Jackson, can I speak to you for a second?" Aiden asked.

I stopped and turned to face him. "Go for it."

"I mean, alone."

"Whatever you need to ask me can be said in front of Mom and Nathan."

Aiden cleared his throat. "Fine. I was hoping you might be able to give me some legal advice."

I nearly choked on my drink. "You mean about that mess you got yourself in?"

"I didn't get myself into any mess."

"Yeah, you did. You tried to fu– I mean, sleep with some senator's wife, your own client."

"I didn't try to sleep with anyone." Aiden spoke through clenched teeth, his hands balled up on the table. "Not a single word of it is true."

"Sure, man. Just like it wasn't true when you slept with Chase's girlfriend in high school."

"They were on a break, and I only denied it because Val asked me to. She said it would make her look bad."

"Nah, you were just trying to save your ass then, and you're just trying to save your ass now. Pretty typical behavior for you, isn't it?"

Aiden slammed his fists down on the table as he stood up. "Typical that you'd believe anyone but your own brother. You clearly have taken after Dad in the loyalty department."

"Hey now, don't you dare talk about our father–"

"BOYS!" Mom raised her voice, something that rarely ever happened. Aiden and I stopped arguing, mostly out of sheer shock. "I will not have you two arguing and ruining Christmas. You best learn to get along as long as you're under this roof together."

"This is bullshit," Aiden muttered, heading toward the door. "Jackson insults my character, and yet I have to learn to get along with him? No one in this family fucking believes me."

Aiden left and Nathan stared at me, his arms crossed in front of his chest.

"What are you staring at?"

"I'm staring at my brother, wondering how someone so confident and smart could turn into such a mean drunk."

"Fuck off, Nathan."

Nathan was always the calm one, having taken after Mom. I knew I had poked him, hoping he might react.

He shrugged. "Whatever, man. I just think you need to get help." He pulled out his phone and started tapping on the screen, his sign that he had no interest in engaging any further.

Mom was silent sitting at her spot at the table. She was looking at me, and I didn't like the look on her face at all.

"Jackson, I know it's hard being back here. But I thought enough time had passed that we could get back to acting like a family."

Out of all of us, Mom was the one who had been hurt the most. She was also the one person in the entire world that I couldn't raise my voice at, I just couldn't.

So I let her continue. "Please go easy on Aiden. You may not see it, but he's not the same kid he used to be, he's grown into a really good man. The military really straightened him out."

"I hope so," I said softly. "He needed to be straightened out."

"He did. He got into a lot of trouble in high school, and there were nights I feared that the police would call, telling me he had been arrested or worse. But this Aiden, he's different, and it would mean a lot to me if you at least listened to him, to see if you can help him."

"I'll try," I said after a long silence and a sigh. Aiden and I had our issues, but he was still my brother.

"I'm going to talk to Aiden now," she said. "And I really would appreciate it if you two could at least try to get along. If anything, for my sake."

She slipped from the room before I could answer her, and my eyes once again fell on the empty seat where our dad used to sit. I finished my whiskey, imagining the sound of his booming voice telling me to make him a drink. The same drink I now enjoyed. I stared at my empty glass.

"I think I'm going out," I said, speaking to Nathan.

"Where?"

"Somewhere in town, just to get a drink."

We had plenty of alcohol in the house, anything you could ever want. But it wasn't about the alcohol, it was about getting out. Why did Mom think it was a good idea to bring us back to the same house we had spent every Christmas as a family when Dad was still around? Couldn't she have picked another location besides this one?

"Mind if I come along?" Nathan asked.

I placed the glass on the table and shook my head. "No, I need to be alone. I need to get out of this house and away from everyone in it."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

"Yeah, I have a driver, I'll be fine."

I headed for the door, stopping at the coat closet and glancing into the formal living room all decked out with the Christmas tree covered in glowing, flickering lights. A stocking for each of us hung from the fireplace, even Harper had one.

I opened the big, heavy door and stepped out into the snow, the cold hitting my face and making me feel better almost instantly.

How am I going to survive this trip ? I asked myself. I had to make it through Christmas and into New Years, with my family in this house.

And they wondered why I drank so much.