Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

Elizabeth

This moment is just like the climactic scene that makes up the big climax of every dumb romcom I show at this theater. This moment is the one where the girls in the audience all catch their breath collectively. Maybe they let out a kind of sigh. The guys roll their eyes even though they're pretty happy because they know the director, actor, and cinematographer have worked together to get them laid that night.

In a movie, I would immediately respond with something brilliant and witty. I would somehow come up with the very epitome of brilliance as I make clear to this man how my entire life has become wrapped up in him. I would say in one sentence something so powerful that it could convey that…

I can't imagine my life without him.

I feel lost and alone when he's overnight at the fire station.

I love Joel with all my heart because I see Preston in him.

I want to stop moving from one house to the other and instead just live together.

I want sleepy mornings together.

I want all-nighters together.

I want vacations together.

I want it all.

Yes, one little sentence would say all of that if we were in a movie. I don't come up with a brilliant sentence at all. Instead, I just stare at him in wonder. I can see his face go from expectant to confused to worried and then to sad.

So, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind. "All I know is that my finger feels really neglected," I whisper. Well, what the fuck does that mean, right? I'm shaking visibly as I lift my hand and point to my ring finger. "Really, really neglected." My goodness, I sound like I'm hyperventilating.

But then, I hear the sighs. I hear all of the audience catching their breath.

And I realize it's real. We have spectators. They heard him ask the question. They saw me fumble an answer and his reaction and now they've heard me say the one sentence that is pretty damned good if I must say so myself.

And then, they erupt in applause as he pulls me to him and kisses me in a way that can only be described as savage.

Damn, this kiss is amazing!

But short. I'm in the lobby of the theater on Sunday afternoon, and there are people around excited about seeing the matinee. He pulls back and says, "We'll have to do something about your poor finger."

I smile and manage a nice, smart-ass, "Promises, promises."

He chuckles at that, and all I can say is that I think my life just became perfect. He offers Joel his hand and says, "Come on, bud."

I say, "Nope. You guys aren't going anywhere. Go watch another movie and I'll be off when you're done. Kung Fu Kids IV is playing and it's better than the first three."

"Kung Fu!" Joel shouts. "Hi yah!"

So soon, they're loaded up with popcorn and soda and candy and on their way into a different auditorium while I work through the rush and then turn into some sort of a speed demon when it comes to completing everything I need to get done before I can leave it to the assistant managers working in the evening.

When the kung fu movie ends, I'm there waiting in the lobby, and I have to say that I'm nervous as fuck. I mean, I don't understand how I can be nervous but I am, and I don't really know why except maybe because for the last hour and forty-five minutes a bunch of customers and pretty much every employee has congratulated me on my romance with Preston.

It's like we're already married!

That thought is sitting there in my head when I see them walking across to me. I smile at how much Joel looks like his dad. Same walk, same head tilt. Is this my family now?

"Okay, good recommendation." Preston gives me a hug, and it feels wonderful.

"Yeah, it was cool. Hiya, chop, oof." Joel interrupts with a very active karate routine.

"Anyway, how about we go get some dinner? My treat."

"Really, did you just say that? I think you've had too many movies for today, Sir." I tease him and he laughs. There's an easiness to him now that I didn't feel even when we were just friends. What were we so worried about?

We head over to the closest place, a little diner with a great kids' meal that has mac 'n' cheese for Joel. It's his latest food obsession and pretty much all he wants to eat. I help him color the menu while we wait for our food.

"A purple walrus? Wow, what planet do you live on, Elizabeth?" Preston teases.

I throw the stubby crayon at him. Elizabeth is what he always calls me when he's teasing me and my goofiness. It's lovely and affectionate and I can't stop smiling though I'm trying to sound stern. "I'll inform you, my good man, that color is subjective and a purple walrus could exist in certain lighting conditions."

"You'll inform me? Inform me? Oh wow, I'm going to be the smartest kid in school."

We smile at each other like goofballs. The old feeling of friendship being underscored by the newer feeling of attraction and deep love. He reaches across the table and takes my hand and we sit there like that until our dinners arrive.

And everything is just like the movies.

After dinner, Preston hints he has something special to show me. Joel is bouncing in his booster seat in the back. "A secret, a secret, we have a secret."

"Okay, bud, enough." Preston is still smiling but now there's a small hint of tension. Is he worried about something with us?

"No worries, I like secrets." I give Joel a wink.

"It's a big secret, so you'll really like it." Joel bops in his seat.

I look at Preston but he keeps his eyes on the road and doesn't say anything. He kind of already proposed, so what could possibly be a bigger secret than that? A love child somewhere? My mind starts coming up with stupid scenarios and I look out the window to try to focus on the passing scenery.

We drive past our turn off and then I recognize where we're headed. "Holy cow, are you taking me to our old camping spot?"

Preston gives me a small smile. "Maybe."

"Well, now I'm super excited!"

But I'm getting really confused at the same time. We're going camping now? Where's the gear? We both work tomorrow anyway, so why would we do this now? Then, I start to imagine a more formal romantic proposal and I grin like an idiot. "Okay, camping it is."

He doesn't correct me, and we park at the old turnout. We all get out of the car, Joel leaping out and running ahead like a wild man, karate-chopping the foliage. I laugh. "Better watch out what you pick a fight with, there's some dangerous stuff in these woods."

"Dad can fight anything. I'm not worried."

I smile at that. A kid confident in his parent. It shows just how wonderful Preston is as a father and I grab his hand in mine as we walk along the trail.

We reach a small clearing and now Preston stops and steps away from me. My heart starts beating so fast I think it's going to jump out of my chest. I want to hand Joel my phone and have him take pictures. I'm wondering what the ring will look like.

"Are you going to tell her, now?" Joel stage whispers to Preston. My heart is in my throat now.

"Uh huh."

Then, Preston starts undressing and I feel confusion replace my excitement. What the fuck is he doing? It's not just the shirt and shoes he's taking off. It's all coming off. "What are you doing? Why are you getting naked out here in front of your son?" I say the last word very pointedly, almost like a hiss.

Preston doesn't say anything, but he hands his underwear to Joel and Joel steps back.

"What's going on?"

"Before I can do anything about your finger," he says, "you need to know."

"Know what, damn it?" I ask. I think it's as close to a shout as I can get out here in the still of the forest.

And just like that, Preston disappears, and a giant cat stands where he was standing. A panther. A giant black panther.

I feel everything tilt. My head is trying to understand something that looks like a fucking illusion, a special effect.

But Joel laughs. And the freaking panther presses his face against the little boy.

The thing is huge, too. It's much larger than any panther I remember seeing at the zoo or on a TV special. It stands there and looks back at me with inky black eyes. I feel a fit coming on.

I'm losing my damn mind.

I'm losing my flipping mind!

Panic hits me in the gut.

Joel looks at me, still smiling. "I can't show you me because I can't shift yet. Not until I'm older."