Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Elizabeth

I feel so damned good floating there. You know what I mean, I think. You know that place where you're not awake but you're not asleep. I always call it floating because it's like when you're at a pool or the ocean and just floating. You're not sinking but you're not swimming. You're floating.

And I'm not sleeping anymore and I'm not awake yet. It's just a beautiful place. I love it.

And then my eyes open up. I'm awake. I'm completely awake. I'm also naked in bed, which isn't a strange thing at all except this morning I'm naked in bed because I made love to Preston, for fuck's sake. I feel a surge of excitement that turns into panic when I realize I'm not just naked in bed. I'm naked in bed and alone .

I throw off the sheets and run out of my room. Then, I run back into my room doubly panicked now in order to grab my robe. See, in the back of my mind, I'm thinking maybe he's not next to me on the bed because he's in the room with Joel. Like, maybe Joel woke up and got scared and Preston went to be with him.

As opposed to Preston deciding that last night was a terrible mistake and skipping out before I even woke up.

Maybe it's not all that in the back of my mind because I can't find my robe at first and I feel trapped in my room. I'm not a poet or anything so I don't know why I see a kind of connection to being not awake but not asleep. But it's like that now.

I'm floating in this place where I don't believe Preston left before I woke and I also don't believe that he's still in the house. I don't know how exactly to explain it but I think I'm clinging to the idea of him being with Joel, clinging to it enough that I don't feel comfortable leaving the room naked in case Joel sees. I'm clinging to that idea so I can cling to hope that things are okay with Preston and me.

I try to think and finally glance under the bed.

Bingo.

It got kicked underneath during the whole desperate to fuck each other episode, I guess.

I quickly pull it on and rush out of the room. The moment I'm out of the room, I slow way down. I guess now that I have my robe on, I have a hard time believing they're here. I mean, I guess I always knew they wouldn't be here. I guess…

Well, I guess I don't have a best friend anymore.

There's no going back.

No best friend. No lover. Just an awkward relationship with a guy who'll probably still need someone to watch Joel.

Welcome to life after the one-night stand, damn it all to Hell.

Well, I want to tell you that I resolve to handle everything maturely and intelligently. I want to tell you that I'm completely committed to not getting all dramatic and angry. The problem is I open the door and Joel and Preston aren't there and I go fucking crazy.

I run to the shower and do you have any idea how hard it is to take a shower when every touch from the water jets is a reminder of your big fucking mistake? I mean, if not for the fact that last night was the most breathtaking sex even possible, maybe I wouldn't have to think about it with a bazillion little water tongues caressing me everywhere!

Fuck, I hate that I'm all poetic now.

I hurry my shower because I really don't need that kind of reminder of how good things were last night. But hell, everything is a reminder of that, except for Preston himself. How could he just disappear like that? If he felt it was a mistake, why didn't he just talk it over at breakfast or something?

Now, my anger is gaining traction and the poetry is wearing off. I want to go scream at him, throw something at him, I don't know! I just know that I'm hurting in a way that I've worked very hard to avoid. There is a reason I don't get too close to any guy, and it's not just because of some crush on Preston.

Or is it?

Well, fuck this. I pull on clothes at breakneck speed and rush out of the house and over to Preston's. I knock on the door (thankfully remembering Joel at the last minute so I can keep from beating on it like an angry villager in a horror movie.)

Finally, the door swings open and I get ready to unleash hell when I see that it's the lady who brought Joel to me last night. "Oh, hello."

She smiles. "Hello dear. How may I help you?"

I note the proper use of grammar and feel doubly stupid for being there. "Um, well, I just came over to see if Preston was here?" Oh my God, I sound like I'm asking a grown man if he can come out and play.

"No, he isn't. It's why I'm here so early. I don't normally watch Joel in the morning, but Preston got called into work early, so I agreed to watch him earlier."

Why didn't he stay and have me watch Joel? The thought tickles my mind like an annoying bug bite. "Ah, okay, well, um, I was just going to bring some Legos for Joel, but I wanted to check with Preston if he thought it would be okay."

"Well, would you like me to give him a message?"

"Joel?"

"Um, no, Preston."

I feel like I'm in a very bad comedy routine where the audience laughter is so obviously canned it's an insult to the viewer. "No, no thank you. I'll just try to catch up with him later. Thank you."

I hurry away before she can say much more or ask why I look so wild. I run home and grab my keys and I don't let my mind breathe for a second because, if I did, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing.

I drive to Preston's work.

I know where the firehouse is, Company 417, and I know practically all the players there because Preston has shared quite a bit about it. I don't want to make a scene there, but I feel like yelling is something I may not be able to stop myself from doing.

Actually, maybe I do want to make a scene there. Hell, I don't know.

Why the hell am I doing anything? Any other guy pulls this and I'm flipping him off and telling Preston all about it and…

Ah. That's it. If Preston's the asshole here, who can I tell about it?

Now, I'm feeling doubly angry, unreasonable, and hurt. Damn it, Preston!

I get to the station and briefly wonder if my plan of tearing him a new one in front of his co-workers is a good one because, well, maybe he got the call-in while at my place and everything is just a big misunderstanding. But then why not leave a quick note or a message on my phone? And trust me, I checked. There was no message.

I park and see Preston almost instantly. He's standing by the smaller truck, a Type 5, I think. Company 417 got two wildlife fire trucks. Type 5 and Type 6. I think this one is type 6 because it almost looks like a pickup truck with a crew cab. Hell, I don't know, Preston fills me in on a lot of details, but I'm no expert. I get out of my car, and he sees me instantly.

He walks over, the asshole, with a big smile on his face. I frown and say, "So, had a good time last night?" I hope he picks up on the venom in my words.

He smiles. "Oh, so you liked them? I wasn't sure about it because you always say you have a black thumb, but you know…"

"Liked? Liked what?"

Now he looks as confused as I sound. "The flowers? I mean, they're hokey, I know, and you can tease me if you want, Liz, but last night . . ."

I cut him off again. "Flowers?

He laughs and my heart beats harder. Oh God, I'm the asshole. I'm the asshole! Abort! Abort!I want to cry. This is too much. "So, what brings you over here? Is everything okay? Need something? I can probably take a few hours if you need me to."

I sigh and try to not sound like a crying mess. "Oh yeah, you know, um, Joel was loving my Legos last night and I thought I'd get him some. I mean, I really can't remember for sure but I feel like I told him I would buy him some because I wouldn't let him play with my dad's cars. I just wanted to make sure it was okay before I brought some over for him."

Preston looks at me. "That's all?"

I nod. "Yep. I mean, I was going to drive by the theater anyway so I thought stopping by to see you was a good idea."

Bless Preston being a guy because he instantly accepts what I'm saying. "Oh, that's awesome, Liz, yeah. He can have them just, you know, not a thousand of them okay."

I smile. "Okay."

"Well, if it's not an emergency," he says, "I'd better get back to work. I'm off tonight and then I switch to the next cycle, so I have a few days. Can we catch up in the morning?"

"Yep." Once I have myself back in control.

He pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head.I just breathe him in.

We let go and he hurries back to the truck and I head to my car. I make myself act normal and wave goodbye and smile.

The drive home is not normal. I berate myself out loud the whole way, but then I yell at him. "How could you not just tell me you were going? And what fucking flowers, man?!"

I pull into my driveway and there it is. A van with a florist logo on the side. I see the frustrated driver at my doorstep about to knock again. I hurry out of my car to take the large arrangement off his hands. "Wow, thank you!" I can't stop staring at the size of it.

The guy hands me a card. "Yeah, sure."

As the pissed off florist driver leaves, I set the arrangement down and read the card. Well, really, all I really see is the signature . Love, Preston. Love.

Only after my heart stops racing do I think to read the whole message. And he says every right thing.

Liz

Last night was the most wonderful thing to happen to me in a long while and maybe ever.

I hope there are no worries about it being awkward or it ruining things because all I want in the world right now is more of last night.

Love, Preston

I can't believe it.

"Shit," I laugh-cry at the day I've had. "And it's only nine in the morning!"

And I love you, too, I think.

I love Preston, too.