27. Dimitri

27

DIMITRI

Zara’s pregnant.

That’s why she’s been so sick these past few weeks. It wasn’t anything to do with Giovanni after all.

My wife, the woman I love, is pregnant, and my first reaction was to slam my fist into the marble counter.

I caught the flash of fear in her eyes. Fuck.

I’ve been so worried about turning into my father that I never considered the fact that I might actually be worse.

I promised Zara that I would be better, but I’m yet to show it.

I run my hands over my face as I take a steadying breath before throwing open the door to my office.

When I catch sight of her on the floor of the bathroom, my heart feels as if it’s being shredded to pieces.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” I get to my knees.

She lifts her head, her green eyes red rimmed and shining with tears.

I’m such an asshole. “I…I just need some time.”

She sniffs, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“I was going to tell you tonight. I planned a whole evening. I-I wanted it to be special.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Could I be any more of a prick?.

That’s why she had decorated the living area with candles and set the table for a nice intimate dinner.

I was all ready to bypass it all and jump straight in the shower with her, and I would have if I hadn’t noticed the notification on her phone.

I’s so fucking stupid.

“It’s all going to be okay, Zara.” I cup her cheek, praying that she can hear the sincerity in my voice. “I need to go to my office to clear my head and then we can talk.”

She nods, her throat bobbing, as she watches me get to my feet.

I wish I could give her the reaction she was hoping for, but in truth, I’m not sure how I feel.

I stalk back into my office, locking the door behind me, and sink down into my chair. My phone lights up on my desk with an incoming call from Alexei, but I ignore it.

He’s due to fly back from Russia today, and I expect he’ll waste no time in calling a family meeting, but right now, I’m in no mood to discuss my father.

I need to clear my head, and I can’t do that when Alexei is breathing down my neck about shit I want nothing to do with.

Zara is pregnant .

I’m going to be a father in a matter of months, and that thought both thrills me and terrifies me at the same time.

I’ve always wanted children. I loved having brothers growing up, and I pictured myself having a big family, with loads of kids running about the house, filling it with laughter.

But I glance at the photo of my parents and brothers on my desk, and my jaw clenches because I also thought I knew my father, but it turns out, I never really knew him at all.

All my life, I’ve been compared to him, and that was once something I took pride in.

Charming.

Funny.

Outspoken.

Just like your father…

Now I’m not so sure. What if our similarities run deeper than that?

Zara is my first real relationship, and even that started out as fake.

What if I don’t have what it takes to be the kind of father our child deserves? The kind of husband that Zara deserves?

I can’t shake the thought that I’ll end up hurting Zara and our baby, just like my father did to my mother and brothers.

My phone flashes again, and I groan.

It’s clear that whatever Alexei has to say can’t wait.

“What is it, Alexei?” I put the phone on speaker.

“I’m just about to board the plane to head back to New York.”

“Well, safe travels, brat .” I just want to end the call.

“I’m not calling just to inform you of my travel updates. You’re not my fucking secretary,” he snaps.

I huff a laugh. “I’m not your wife either, so go and bother Bianca. I’m sure she misses your annoying voice.”

“Oh, she misses much more than that.”

“You know what, I think you should stay in Russia a while longer. It’s been peaceful without you. ”

“It’s not going to be when I get home, that’s for sure,” Alexei mutters.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I sit up straighter, my eyes flicking to the photo on my desk. “What did you find out?”

Alexei is quiet for a moment, and all I can hear is the bustling sounds of Moscow airport in the background.

“Rurik was right to send me over here in person. This information can’t get out. I should really wait to tell you in person.”

“You’re about to board a ten-hour flight.”

Alexei groans. “Which is why I called. I can’t sit and ruminate on this for the next ten hours because I will lose my mind.”

I brace my arms on my desk and take a deep inhale. “Hit me with it.”

“We were only half right about the stillbirth. Igor did use it as a cover up when he found out our father was the one to sire the child.”

“I don’t understand.”

“He paid someone off to record it as a stillbirth, but the child survived.”

“Fuck.” I run a hand through my hair. “So, you’re telling me that we’ve had a half-brother out in the world this entire time?”

“Yeah, but no one has any idea who or where he is.”

“This isn’t good.”

“No, it’s not. This can be used against us if played correctly. We need to find out where the hell he is before anyone else does.”

“Do you want me to tell Mikhail and Danil?”

Alexei sighs. “No, I should be the one to tell them.”

For once I don’t argue with my oldest brother .

“Let me know when you land, and we can tell them together.”

As soon as Alexei hangs up the phone, I lean back in my chair and stare at the ceiling.

My brain feels as if it’s about to explode with all the thoughts that are swirling around inside it.

But I need to focus.

There’s nothing I can do about this situation with our half-brother until Alexei lands back in New York, and we can speak with Mikhail and Danil. Until then, my energy needs to go toward Zara and the baby.

I can’t have her thinking I’m angry at her, not when she’s in such a fragile state.

If it weren’t for this shit with my father, I would be nothing but overjoyed at the news that she is pregnant.

Zara is the most incredible woman I’ve ever met, and to have her be the mother of my child is a blessing.

What I do want to know is why she didn’t tell me about the pregnancy sooner...

Once I calm down completely, I head down the stairs to find Zara collecting the dozens of candles that she had scattered on every available surface throughout the living area.

She looks over her shoulder at me as I reach the bottom step, and I can tell she’s hesitant to approach me.

“Dimitri, I’m so sorry.” She wraps her arms around herself as her eyes fill with tears. “This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

I glance over to the kitchen where I find the takeout containers from Angelo’s , my favorite restaurant in the city. She really had gone all out to tell me the news, and I ruined the night by letting my temper get the better of me.

I really am no better than my father .

“How long have you known?” I turn my attention back to Zara.

Her throat bobs as she bites her lower lip. “A week.”

She’s kept this a secret for a week?

I can’t deny that it stings to know that she didn’t tell me the moment she found out.

“Is there a reason you felt you couldn’t tell me right away?” I rub at my jaw. “I thought we were starting to build trust.”

“We are, Dimitri. It’s just…” She looks away, wiping at her cheeks with the back of her hand.

“Just what?”

She sighs. “I didn’t want to risk losing you. I know we’re only married because of a deal but…I’m falling for you, Dimitri, and part of me was starting to think that you were falling for me too.”

She shakes her head, a nervous laugh escaping her lips. “But it’s clear I was wrong.”

“Is that what you think?”

She nods, her eyes downcast.

“Zara…” I take a step toward her.

“I was dumb. And a baby changes things.”

I freeze.

She bites her lip. “You didn’t sign up for this, and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking that once our situations are dealt with, you’ll be marching me down to the lawyers office so we can get divorced, and you can finally be free of me.”

She thought I was going to walk away?

“Are you kidding me?” My eyes run the risk of falling out of their sockets. “You truly believe that’s what I want?”

“That’s why I couldn’t bring myself to tell you about the baby sooner. I know it was selfish, but I didn’t want the bubble to burst. I’m so sorry. I’ll get my things. I’ll—” Her voice cracks, and she covers her mouth with her hand to muffle her sob.

Like hell would I ever turn my back on the one thing that has brought me the most happiness in my life.

I cross the distance between us until my hands are resting on her waist.

“I guess I’ve not done a very good job of showing you how I feel because in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m so fucking in love with you it feels like my chest is going to explode every time you look at me.”

Zara blinks at me. “You are?”

Her eyes well with tears as she gazes up at me.

“You’re all I think about, Zara. You’re all I want .”

“But the baby…”

“I’m in Zara. I’m all in?—”

She reaches up on her toes and crashes her lips against mine.

“I love you too,” she whispers against my lips.

“Dr. Waite is ready for you, Mr. and Mrs. Koslov.”

Zara glances over at me with worry in her eyes.

I squeeze Zara’s hand and offer her a reassuring smile.

“Let’s go and see our baby.” I bend down to press a kiss to the tip of her nose.

Her face breaks out into a smile, and my chest swells at the sight.

This woman loves me.

I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face as I clutch Zara’s hand, knowing that she’s mine, and I’m all hers.

Zara assured me that Dr. Waite is reputable. He’s the same doctor who took care of Bianca when she was pregnant, so if my ridiculously overprotective brother trusts him with his wife and child, then I can do the same.

I keep my hand on the small of Zara’s back as we’re led down the corridor toward the examination room. I can’t believe that in a few minutes I’m going to see my baby. It feels so surreal.

A few months ago, I was still sleeping around, trying my best to fill a void that turned out could only be filled by her.

She’s everything I didn’t know I needed and more.

Once Zara has changed into the paper gown, I help her get settled in the chair, my hand never letting go of hers.

Dr. Waite appears a few moments later, a warm smile on his heavily lined face. “Are we ready to see your baby?”

Glancing down at Zara, I smile and squeeze her hand, and her face lights up. “We sure are.”

Dr. Waite gets to work readying the ultrasound probe, and I have to hold back a laugh at the look on Zara’s face. She looks horrified.

The doctor smiles at her. “Relax for me, Zara.”

She looks up at me again, and I bend down to kiss her on the tip of her nose.

“You can do this, sladkaya .”

Her body relaxes.

I keep my eyes on Zara the entire time, watching her face for any sign of pain or discomfort as Dr. Waite inserts the probe.

Neither of us seems to take a breath as the room falls silent.

Zara frowns. “Is something wrong? ”

My eyes flick to Dr. Waite, and I immediately tense as a deep frown forms between his eyebrows as he stares at the screen. “Is it the baby?”

“Not at all.” Dr. Waite adjusts the probe. “It’s just that… Well, I was not expecting this, but it seems that you’re having twins.”

Zara’s eyes go the widest I’ve ever seen them. “Twins?”

Dr. Waite laughs, turning the screen around to point out the two separate blobs on the screen. “There’s baby A, and there’s baby B.”

“Oh, my god,” Zara whispers.

Twin s.

I’ve barely wrapped my head around the idea of having a kid, and now we’re having two? Life really does like to throw me curveballs these days…

“Twins would explain why you’ve been feeling nauseous so early on in the pregnancy,” Dr. Waite explains. “That tends to be a common side effect.”

“Great,” Zara mutters. “I love that for me.”

I bite back a laugh at the look on Zara’s face.

Her green eyes fly to mine. “Can we handle this?”

“Of course, we can, sladkaya . We can handle anything, as long as we have each other.” I bend down to kiss her forehead.

“Two babies…” she whispers as we both stare at the ultrasound. “We’re having two babies .”

“At least, we won’t be outnumbered.” I chuckle.