Chapter 29

29

PATRICK

Thursday, 10 April

(two weeks later)

S aoirse and Ian sit on barstools, waiting expectantly for me to fill their glasses with the new IPA from one of the half dozen growlers in the fridges.

“Come on, what are you waiting for, Pat?”

“Right. Here we go.”

I pour a few fingers of the IPA into three pint glasses—one for me—and toss it back with them.

“Oh, mate, that’s so good.” Ian nods his head in approval.

“You’ve finally done it.” Saoirse smiles widely. “The right balance of bitter and citrus.”

“Exactly.” I nod. “Besides this batch, we’ve got a few more fermenting so we can start distributing over the coming months.”

“Fill them up, Patrick, then we’ll get out of your way.” Ian gestures to their empty glasses.

On Saturday, we’ll do a limited bottle release at O’Brien’s. We’re also going to celebrate this week’s successful meeting with Wellington Pubs. They got back to me with a last-minute opening in their calendar, so I drove to their headquarters in Dublin and pitched Slea Head Brewery. Lola came along and helped seal the deal by bonding with their distribution lead about both of them growing up on cattle farms in County Cork.

Wellington agreed to carry our lineup in a ten-door test this fall, including the IPA and the autumn brew, which we’ve still not got quite right.

If the test goes well, they’ll consider full distribution.

It would change everything for Slea Head Brewery.

Dad’s still helping out at the brewery and Saoirse starts this week as full-time head manager at O’Brien’s.

Everything is finally coming together.

Once I’m done pouring, Ian takes the full glasses and retreats to an open table.

Saoirse sticks around.

“You missed dinner with Mam and Dad last weekend.”

“I know. I was exhausted and needed some down time.” I lean my palms on the counter and pray for customers to interrupt us.

My sister assesses me with narrowed eyes. I silently beg her not to ask me about Maddie. Not to push things more than she already has since Maddie left town.

“Have you talked to?—”

“Saoirse.” I cut her off. I don’t need to hear Maddie’s name out loud. “No. I haven’t.”

After she left Dingle, I found out from my sister that Maddie had changed her flight to stay in Ireland until after the road trip.

Except I scared her away. Ruined it.

I’ve written texts and never sent them. I’ve almost called but couldn’t tap the button. I opened that original email chain and considered replying.

But there’s nothing I can say that would make things better. I know I’d just make it worse. Best leave it as it is.

“You’ll see her in a week. Why don’t you call and talk things out ahead of time?”

The idea of seeing her for the first time in Dublin nauseates me. Then again, having Oliver, Reese, Stella, and Ethan around will be a buffer.

We won’t have to be alone.

We won’t have to talk.

We won’t even have to look at each other.

“There’s nothing to talk about. I’ll be friendly. I promise.”

Saoirse’s face crumples with clear pity. I hate that she feels so bad for me. That she can sense the pain I’m in. That she probably knows I’m avoiding my family because it’s too painful to be around people who can feel my unhappiness as only those who truly love me can.

Everything might be coming together, but I’ve never felt worse.