Chapter 8

"Iknow, Momma. I know. I don't have time to have lunch this weekend. I have a pile of laundry so high it's going to topple over, and I'm going to be suffocated."

Benji's mom started laughing, and he knew she wasn't mad. "Wow. That would be a sight. Is my grandson wearing feed sacks to daycare?"

"Like you haven't gone over at four o'clock every day to get your snuggles in." He grinned and unloaded Xavi from his truck, along with his groceries and the diaper bag, and schlepped them all inside. "And I put him in Walmart bags, of course."

"Like a Christmas present."

Now it was his turn to laugh, because his mom's bad excuse for gift-wrapping was legendary. "Just like that."

Xavi let him put the little seat down without fussing, and he emptied his arms of the bags.

"Well, I'll miss you, but how about an early supper Monday? We can go to get Thai downtown…"

"Sounds great. We can even get it to go and take it to your house, huh?" He wasn't sure that the restaurant was clean enough for his son, and it was so tiny and kinda loud…

She laughed, the sound knowing. "You got it. Tom kha to go."

"Mmm."

He did love a good coconut milk soup. And that place did a great one.

The sound of a vehicle coming down the drive made him blink, and he glanced out of the window seeing an unfamiliar pickup that was maybe ten years old bouncing along the track.

"I got to go, Momma. I have groceries to put away, a baby and critters to feed, and someone is in my driveway." Lord have mercy.

"Be careful." His mom had a schoolteacher's view of stranger danger, small town or not. He was still her kid.

"Will do." He hung up, then checked on Xavi straight away before going to stand at the kitchen door. Someone probably had the wrong house.

He opened the door and waited to see who stepped out of the truck. He didn't want to have to deal with any nonsense.

Once the guy parked, he stepped out, and Benji blinked, then grinned. It was Sterling, and the man was carrying a couple of pizza boxes.

"Hey! I hope I'm not catching you at a bad time. I thought you said you worked office hours, and I wanted to bring something out to thank you for all the trouble you went to."

"Oh, hey. God, that would be amazing. I was going to make Cup o' Noodles. I'm exhausted, and I still have to feed animals and feed and bathe a stinky baby. Come on in." He was pleasantly surprised. He'd never expected to see tall, dark and studly again.

"Thanks." Sterling stepped past him, the distinct smell of Old Spice making him smile. So cowboy, but not too strong. There was also garlic and tomato sauce, which was even more sexy…

His stomach growled.

"Well, we can eat a slice now, go feed, and then feast. Sound good?" Sterling beamed at him, so pleased with himself.

"Sounds perfect. I do love a good pizza." Hell, he didn't mind a bad pizza. He was a nurse. He'd eaten stuff that tasted like cardboard if a patient or parent brought it in.

"I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got a couple of half and halfs. One nothing but cheese and then sausage and onion. One supreme and then pepperoni and mushroom."

"Yes, to all." He grabbed a slice of supreme, because that looked amazing.

Sterling took a pepperoni and mushroom.

They didn't even talk for a minute, both of them focused on snarfing down their slices.

It was good, though, and his belly was so much happier when it was in. "That was amazing. Do you want to come hang while Xavi and I feed?"

"I'll help. Hell, I know the routine now." The boots were older now, and the jeans not as fancy, so Sterling must have been wearing his Sunday best when he'd hit that ditch.

"Sounds perfect." He covered Xavi's carrier against the wind with a blanket and picked him up. "How was your week? Busy?"

"Yeah. I mean, I got the meeting I needed to do out of the way." Sterling's lips quirked.

"Good deal. Are you going to be heading home soon?" Wherever home was.

"Well, I hit a little snag, so I'll be around for a bit." Sterling followed him out to the barn.

"Yeah? Well, I'm sorry you hit a snag, but there's lots to do here, if you get bored." Sort of. If you had money or time…

"I bet. I mean, there's a ski lift…" Sterling gave him an ironic glance, and he chuckled.

"Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of hiking and rafting and there's the train…"

"Yeah, I might have to do that."

"I can't wait to do it with Xavi in a couple of years. I want to take him on The Polar Express ride."

"Is that at Christmas?" Sterling asked.

"It is. They have hot chocolate and play the movie or the music, depending on the car you're in. It's pretty awesome."

"I like it. Kids like trains, right?"

"I like trains. I have to admit, I'm looking forward to trains and Lego and action figures." He shrugged, and he felt his cheeks heat, because that was dumb as fuck.

"I always dug Lego, man. And my dad's old Erector set. I think his mom got it at a yard sale."

"Yeah? I was a Lego kid. I'm sort of a Lego guy." With tons of them in his basement, which he wasn't confessing to anyone.

"What's your favorite thing lately? I get the catalogs."

Okay, maybe he could confess to Sterling after all.

"I love the Rivendell, but I'm working on the police station in my downtime."

"Yeah? I got the Millennium Falcon for Christmas a few years back and have never had time to do it." Sterling started watering the animals.

"Yeah? Cool! I have…some set up in my man cave." Benji chuckled and started feeding the horses while Sterling helped with the goats.

"You'll have to show me. I mean, if you want to." Sterling sounded less than sure for a moment, and that seemed pretty unusual.

"Hey, if you aren't going to give me shit for having a nerd man cave, trying to be a good cowboy, a single dad and a nurse all at once? I'll take it." He knew he didn't click all the boxes for anyone.

Maybe he ticked too many boxes.

Whatever.

"Nope. I think you're a solid citizen, Benji. And that's for real. No matter what."

"Thank you." No matter what, what? That didn't make any sense. There shouldn't be a matter, right?

God, he had Friday brain.

He fed the chickens, gathered up three eggs, while Sterling fed the llamas.

They had a damn fine rhythm, and for a minute, he let himself imagine what it would be like to have this all day every day. That was silly, but it was there.

Maybe when Xavi was older. Maybe he'd find a lover who had children of his own…

"What else do we need to do, honey?" Sterling asked, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Yeah. Totally Friday brain. "I think everyone's happy. Let's go in and sit and eat. I'm so glad you're here, man."

"Thanks. I wasn't sure if you would want to see me, but I really wanted to come out. And pizza, you know?" Sterling clapped him on the shoulder, then squeezed, that hand lingering.

"I do. I—I'm all about hanging out. Pizza. Cards. Legos. Whatever."

"Cool." Sterling seemed much happier now, and they headed back to the house for the rest of their food.

Xavi was cooing and singing for him, letting him know it was dinner time for babies too.

"Feed him first, man." Sterling popped the pizza boxes into the oven, which would melt everything again without burning boxes.

"He knows he's starving. Poor little boy." Benji cracked up and popped a bottle in the warmer.

"I can tell. He's wasting away to nothing."

"Yep. Meanest dad ever. Just ask me."

Sterling snorted. "He has you wrapped around his little finger and you know it. Oh, sorry, honey." They'd collided mid-kitchen.

"No worries." Honey, huh? Worked for him.

They stared at each other a moment, but Xavi's bottle was ready then, and man, Xavi knew. He was crying right away.

"Listen to you! Are you starving?" He scooped Xavi up and plopped down into his recliner, pushing the nipple into that hungry mouth.

Sterling chuckled, coming to stand in the transition from the kitchen and dining area to watch them. "I missed you guys."

"Yeah, we talked about you a lot, me and Xavi. We have a lot of chats, the two of us." There was something buzzing between the two of them. He could tell. It was…something hot.

"Uh-huh." Sterling watched him as if the man was… hungry. Like he wanted. And that was wild.

"You have lots of plans this weekend?" You want to hang out with me? You want to spend the night? You want to share mutual orgasms?

"Nope. I've still got a cousin in town, and he'll want to have supper on Sunday, but until then I am footloose and fancy-free." Sterling's grin made all sorts of things tighten in him.

"Well, I have to do laundry, but—I'm willing and eager to spend time." He met Sterling's gaze. "With you."

There. That was clear, right?

"Good deal." Sterling nodded as if that was that, and maybe it was. If he'd found out what he wanted to know…

Xavi cooed, soft as a dove, and Benji sat him up to burp him. It didn't take long before the huge trucker belch made him laugh.

"Lord, listen to that. I'll get the pizza, yeah?" Sterling moved back into the kitchen to set them up: plates, pizza, beer.

Once Xavi was finished, Benji got him set up in the Pack ‘N Play, toys and rattles all around him.

"Why don't you have a dog, Benji?"

"I lost my old guy—Jerome—about six months ago, and I wanted some time to train a puppy, you know?"

"Sure. I get that." Sterling handed him a plate and a beer. "It just seemed off."

"Yeah. Jerome was sixteen. He was a cattle dog mix. So smart. The baby's mother, she loved him. Said he reminded her of a dog she'd had as a kid. She was with me when he died." A boy needed a dog, though, and so did a ranch, so he'd have to do it at some point.

"Hmm." Something flickered in Sterling's eyes, but he turned away to grab napkins, and when he turned back, it was gone. "Those are good ranch dogs."

"Yeah. I'm wanting something good-sized, affable, but protective."

"Hmm. But not so protective it will go after you if you tell Xavi no." Sterling propped on one of the stools at the passthrough and nodded easily, then took a big bite of pizza, cheese stretching out.

"True that. Something that will love Xavi. Boys and dogs are meant to be together." Speaking of boys?—

He glanced over, finding Xavi sound asleep curled around a stuffed capybara.

"True." Sterling grabbed for the packets of parmesan the same time he did, and those sparks exploded between them again.

"So, I know that—I want to be clear. I'm gay, and I am feeling sparks with you. Is any of this unwelcome? A surprise?"

"Not unwelcome. And not a surprise, but I was hoping I wasn't misreading things. It could end up being complicated, though." Sterling grimaced, as if he didn't want reality to intrude.

"Are you still not married? Involved with someone?" He wasn't into cheating. He'd been there, done that, and it wasn't going to work, not even for a weekend fling.

"No. No, there's not someone else." Sterling shook his head, gaze steady and serious. "I don't do that."

"Me either. I don't want to break anyone's heart." He wanted life to be good, for fuck's sake.

"Then we'll do all right." Sterling reached over to touch his hand. Those fingers were a little oily from the pizza, but the touch was warm, sure, and he found himself staring at Sterling's fingers on his skin.

Benji took a deep breath, and his eyelids went heavy even as his lips parted. Fuck, he was caught like a moth in a spider's web.

Sterling set aside his plate and stepped into Benji's personal space, their bodies pressing together chest to chest. Sterling bent, lips slamming against his.

Benji hummed and arched up, body sliding against Sterling. The kiss was slow, deep, but there was nothing sweet about it.

In fact, Sterling seemed to him like he was on fire, like he'd been planning this kiss for a lifetime. One hand came up behind Benji's head, holding them together, and his lips parted on a grunt. Sterling pressed the advantage, his tongue slipping into Benji's mouth.

He wasn't a virgin, but he swore he'd never felt a kiss quite like this—not ever before. This had intent behind it, a sense that Sterling was claiming him as his territory, and it curled his damn toes. And raised his dick.

He managed not to make a sound, but he wanted to holler with how good it felt. He let his hand land on Sterling's belly, the touch moving up and up over that soft button-down.

"Mmmm." The noise was low, but it was approving, and Sterling cupped both hands around his ass, tugging him so close no air could pass between them.

There was no question then how much Sterling was into this—the man's cock was like a heavy club in his jeans, something that made his eyes cross, his heart race. He pushed a thigh against it, since he couldn't get a hand wedged in, and Sterling bucked like a fractious horse.

God, he wanted to touch, no clothes, no distance separating them. "Let me put him down. Come to bed?" They weren't kids. They didn't have to be ashamed. The pizza would heat back up.

"Hell, yes, honey. I want you so bad I'm about to bust." Sterling squeezed his ass, then let go.

He nodded and checked the front door, then carefully picked Xavi up. He managed a quick diaper change, a spit bath, and got the baby into a onesie without waking him. When he put him down, Sterling was waiting in the front room, a slight smile on his face.

"He's down." Benji held out one hand, telling himself he was a grown-up. He wasn't hurting anyone, he wasn't being reckless, and he was legal. "Come to bed?"

Sterling took his hand, that callused grip warm and firm. "Lead the way, honey."

Benji sucked in a deep breath, and twined his fingers with Sterling's. "Come on in."

What was he doing? Seriously, what?

Sterling took Benji's hand, knowing he was doing what he'd come here to do. He was going to make love to his man while he had the chance. Before it all went wrong.

Sterling pushed that thought aside. This wasn't about that. This was about needing to connect for a minute. To spend a couple, three days out of time. Reality would intrude soon enough, and then Benji would probably hate him. So…

He closed the bedroom door behind them, but left it open a crack.

"It's okay. I have a baby monitor. Close it all the way and we can make more noise."

"Perfect, honey."

"Don't stress it." Benji tugged him into the bedroom. "You okay?"

"I am. I am so damn glad to be with you. I'm more okay than I've been since I left." He reeled Benji back to him for another of those kisses that was like scalding himself with something that tasted too good to care.

He wanted to learn every inch of Benji, and he wanted to know what it felt like to have Benji learn him. They could spend the night loving on each other. That sounded like heaven.

Benji wrapped those warm hands around his waist, thumbs rubbing above his belt. The touch was a bit maddening, sending shivers up and down his spine.

He grunted, rocking against Benji's belly, which was hard as a board under that soft pullover. He wanted skin, though. He wasn't in the mood to go slow.

Luckily for him, Benji was on board, dragging his shirt up and opening his buttons with sure fingers.

"That feels so good." He got his palms against Benji's ribs, pushing at that shirt, baring part of Benji's belly and chest.

Oh, how pretty was that! There was a little rainbow flag on Benji's ribcage, the ink a jolt of naughtiness he'd not seen. He traced it, making Benji shiver. Did that make Benji's nipples go hard? He shoved the shirt up off of Benji's head.

"Like what you see?" Benji muttered, hands dropping right back to his waistband.

"Hell, yes. I want to touch it all. Lick it. Jesus, honey, you rev my engine." Benji was so damn hot he could hardly bear it.

And that blush clawing up Benji's chest made him grin. Oh, that was so damn pretty.

Pushing his now open shirt off his shoulders, Benji left the sleeves dangling from his wrists. He struggled to get the stupid thing off, wanting to be able to touch again, dammit.

"Lord. Boots and cuffs off for you. I'm way more easy access." Benji chuckled.

Benji pushed him onto the bed, then knelt down to tug his boots off.

That was hot as fuck. He reached out to run his fingers through Benji's hair. It was springy and soft, and he carded through it, then tugged.

glanced up, the lamp light cutting across his face, making those pretty eyes shine. Jesus, that made his belly hurt. So he took another kiss, to keep from saying something so stupid.

His lips burned, his cock jerking hard, and he lifted Benji onto his thighs, unable to keep his hands off that tight ass.

Benji's prick pressed against him, the heat like a brand as they rocked together. His breath came out fast, so he sucked it back in, needing to get more air so he could spend more of it kissing Benji.

Benji held his head, fingers rubbing in lazy circles, almost like a massage. He had a feeling Benji was used to doing that for other people, comforting them.

And as amazing as it was, he wanted more passion. More of that fucking heat they had between them.

He cupped Benji's cock, thumb dragging hard over the thick shaft.

"Uhn!" Benji arched and spread. "Damn. That's so good."

He shivered. "You're hot as gasoline and matches, honey."

"Am I? Feels fucking good to hear it."

"Good." He struggled with Benji's pants, wanting them off. He wanted to see it all, touch everything.

"Yeah. Yeah, I hear you." Benji stood, stripped down, showing off a lean body with a surprising number of scars for a nurse. He reached out to touch one on Benji's hip.

"This almost seems like a car accident."

"IED blew my Jeep out from under me."

"Jesus."

"Yeah. Let's pretend they're hot, huh?"

"They are. They mean you survived." He couldn't imagine that kind of horror. And he wanted to push it out of Benji's mind now that he'd brought it up. "Come kiss me again."

"I'm into it." Benji's lips quirked. "First though, your jeans, man. I want your jeans off."

"Let's both get the rest dealt with and then we can be all naked and hot together."

"Deal." Benji wiggled to get his socks off, and Sterling skinned out of his jeans, coming back down on top of Benji to storm his mouth.

He didn't remember the last time he'd had a beautiful man eager underneath him, hard and begging, both of them rubbing as if they were trying to start a fire. And this was better than anything he'd done before. He knew it. He was on fire for this man. Not a cowboy from the crowd.

He held Benji still with one hand behind his neck, feasting on him, letting him feel how hard Sterling was. His balls felt high and tight already.

Benji bent one knee, and that motion deepened the connection, made him grunt as their cocks met, kissed, Benji's belly like satin.

He sucked in a full breath, going still for a long moment, struggling to maintain control. He was leaving wet kisses on Benji's belly.

"I know. I want everything." Benji reached down, wrapping their cocks in his callused fist. "Sucking, fucking, all of it."

"Me too, honey. So bad. I been aching." He arched, letting Benji see how good that was, using that hard-earned rodeo balance to fuck that hand.

Benji groaned, and his thumb dragged over his slit, making Sterling's eyes cross. "You like that."

"Who doesn't?" he rumbled the worlds out. "Do it again."

So Benji did, and he groaned, holding himself up on one arm, using the other hand to pinch and tug at Benji's tight little nipples.

"Fuck." Benji surged up and slammed their mouths together again, this kiss pure fire as their tongues battled, Sterling fighting to push Benji over the edge.

He panted into it, holding Benji against him, his body bucking. He was gonna come if he wasn't careful, and he wanted so much more.

"I—" Benji caught his gaze. "Fuck my mouth, man. I love to suck."

Sterling was going to expire from sheer fucking joy.

"Jesus. Are you real?" He reared back, getting them positioned so he could do just that. He would let Benji have that if he wanted it.

"Real as they come." Benji grabbed his hips and dragged him in close to those parted lips. His tip brushed against Benji's tongue, and the heat made his heart skip a beat

He arched his hips up, knowing he was being demanding, but he wanted more. A lot more.

Like a wet dream, Benji took him—inch after inch after inch, swallowing good and hard.

He put a hand on the back of Benji's head, holding on. He sank deep in one go, Benji licking him on the way down. Sterling was gonna lose it. He knew it.

Benji worked him like a popsicle, sucking hard as that hungry mouth pulled away.

"Wait. Where are you going."

Benji grinned up at him. "Nowhere. I'm just teasing you."

"Oh, honey, I might be beyond the teasing stage."

"Good to know." In a rush, Benji took him all the way in, deep throating him.

"Fuck!" He went rigid, like a man hit by lightning. Christ on a sparkly crutch, Benji was trying to kill him.

His balls throbbed, and he swore to God he had forgotten how to breathe, how to see. He had to scoot to Benji and kiss him, because he wanted to be together when they came, and Benji was too damn calm.

Benji gasped, expression confused, and he rolled, landing them both on their sides.

"I want more than your mouth, honey. I want us to be right at the same level." He kissed that mouth hard. "I know you understand."

Benji nodded, lips swollen, eyes so heated. "I do." He raised a hand to touch Sterling's face.

So tender, so dear, so fucking sweet and hot at the same time.

He nipped at those fingers, because he wasn't feeling sweet. Sterling figured he was way more feral. "Tell me you have condoms."

"You didn't bring them with the pizza?" Benji teased.

"Just one. And it might be a bit old."

"Mine too, but I am a nurse who periodically does health classes, so…" Benji kissed his nose. "Keep the bed warm."

"I got that part down. I am on fire for you." He trailed a hand down Benji's thigh as Benji slid out of the bed.

Benji hurried out into the front room, and he sat there, cock in his hand, keeping himself focused. He was going to make Benji feel so goddamn good. Sterling took a deep breath, hoping Benji didn't give him too much time to think, and he was lucky as hell.

The man was back in no time, moving like his ass was ablaze.

He was tossed a line of condoms. "Ta-da! Let me in."

"Come on, honey." He grabbed the condoms and ripped one off, tearing it open so he could sheath up. "Lube?"

Benji wiggled the bottle. "I got that too."

"You are a gentleman and a scholar." He took it, rolling it between his palms.

"Mmm." Benji wiggled back into the bed with him. "Now, where were we?"

"I was about to get you all ready for the main event. Though the warm-up was stunning."

That earned him a blush, a warm grin, and then Benji ducked his head.

"Come on up here." He patted his thighs.

When Benji climbed astride, it spread him just right, so Sterling opened the tube of lube to coat his fingers. He circled that circle of muscles with his wet digits, wanting to warn Benji he was coming in.

"Mmm…I want you. I want your heavy cock. Spread me wide."

Listen to that.

"I want that too, honey. I got you. I'll get you good and ready." He sank a finger in deep, wanting Benji off-balance and wild for him.

Benji gasped, and he eased back before sinking deep again, scraping at the tight little hole.

"Ugh!" Benji undulated for him, cock bouncing. "Damn. Damn!"

"You like that, huh?" He could see it was obvious, but he did like to tease.

"Uh-huh. Don't fucking stop."

Sterling chuckled and added another finger. "I wouldn't dream of it."

"Harder." Benji reached back to grab his wrist and push.

"Hey now. Don't you hurt yourself." He pulled back, then pushed in with both fingers. "I can give you what you need." He caught Benji's gaze. "Trust me."

"I do. I do. I'm aching for you, that's all."

"I feel the same way. Lube me up, honey. Then we can get to the main event." His balls were going to go off like bombs.

Benji huffed out a rough, raw sound, dropping the lube twice before he managed to wrap slick fingers around his needy cock.

"That's it." He hissed, closing his eyes for a moment. Damn. That felt like a whole lot of yes. "Just real quick. I want to be inside you."

"Yeah. Me too. Inside, I mean. Me." Oh, incoherence. He approved.

He grunted, easing Benji's hand away. "Okay, honey. It's time to ride, huh?" He was still a cowboy at heart, wasn't he? It all came down to riding. He pushed Benji onto his back.

Benji tugged his knees up and back, spreading himself wide.

Jesus. He about swallowed his tongue. That openness, the way Benji wanted… It made him humble, and he muscled up between Benji's spread legs, cock nudging that hole.

His prick was wrapped in pure heat, in a fist-like pressure that rippled and milked him. Sterling pushed deep, slow and inexorable, his body telling him what to do with no real permission from his brain.

"Damn. Damn, Benji. Yeah." His voice was blown, raw.

Benji's legs dragged around his hips, tugging him in, joining their strength together.

He started to move, trying not to rush it, but needing to get this going. His muscles were going to give out soon, his thighs trembling and his hands shaking. He needed to come.

Thank God Benji seemed like he was right there too, both of them sweating and shaking and panting like bellows.

Benji was arching up, taking him in as he rocked down, thrusting hard. They started to slap together, their noises becoming desperate. He was so ready, and he clenched his ass, trying to hold on.

Benji grunted hard, ass clamping down like a vise. "Gonna!"

"Uh-huh." Words were beyond him. He gritted his teeth, staring at Benji, trying to memorize this very moment. Just in case.

Benji shot, expression open and free, wild in its need.

So he let it go, his head snapping back as his body shook, his balls emptying. His wild cry was shaped like Benji's name. There was no coming back from this one and he knew it.

He was lost and found, all at the same time, and there was nothing he could do.