Chapter 12
"Geoff, I thought I told you to deal with these TV people."
"Well, actually Carson told me that, and he wasn't particularly nice, but I am trying." Geoff sounded about as pissed off as Sterling felt.
No doubt for different reasons.
"Jimmy says they still have the airport staked out. He's starting to think he should fly home. Should he?"
"I think that's a good idea, Boss. They'll follow him." Carson winked at him, because that son of a bitch was having altogether too good a time out here baiting Geoff and finding things for him to take Benji to do.
"Yeah. Okay, have him file a plan to fly back to Aspen." God, his head hurt. Benji wasn't calling or texting back, but he was reading his texts, and he hadn't blocked Sterling's number, so that was something, right?
Sterling was working hard at this whole apology thing. He and Geoff and Carson had all put their brains together, trying to figure out what exactly the appropriate thing to do was.
He'd done a number of things.
First, he'd had the daycare repainted and a new kitchen put in. Then he'd donated one hundred books to the daycare and five hundred books to Ben's mom's school. Then he'd had Benji's driveway regraded.
The last thing Sterling had done?
He had set up a trust for Xavi. No strings attached, no nothing. Just money for Xavi. It was a thing for Ben to know that when Xavi grew up, there was five million dollars just waiting for him.
He also sent flowers.
Sunflowers, wildflowers, roses. Daisies, carnations. Anything he could think of that was just simple and happy.
And he didn't just order them, he chose them. He chose every one of them. He wrote a note in his handwriting, and he sent them via courier. He wanted Benji to know—no, Ben. He wanted Ben to know that he was serious.
And he was serious.
He was going to prove to Ben that he was genuinely sorry for what he had done. And that he genuinely cared about Xavi.
And Ben.
And their future.
With or without him.
He just wanted a second chance.
Though if he killed Carson and went to jail for it, it would render his dating life a moot point. And he was going to murder Carson for?—
"There's an escape room you could go to, Boss. It's medieval-themed."
For that. He kept suggesting dates Sterling could take Benji on.
For whatever reason, Carson had decided that he was going to be a matchmaker, for fuck's sake.
Boss, how do you feel about bowling?
Boss, you could take him to Telluride.
What about a movie? Explosions? Rom-Com? Triple X?
"Your mom called again," Geoff said.
"Oh, for— Okay. Let me call her." He glanced at his watch. "What's the time difference?"
"Eight hours ahead, Boss. So nine p.m.."
"That works. Get Jimmy back to you. Or send him to Austin or something. I don't want the TV people interfering." It was bad enough that Geoff and Carson were like a pair of maiden aunts.
"No. No, that would be awkward," Geoff agreed. "I could send him flowers?"
Carson snorted. "How about a man crate? Something so he can groom himself."
"You could both leave it alone. I'll deal with Ben." He would. He was trying. He'd sent a few texts. Called twice. Nothing too stalkery. And lord knew Sterling wasn't used to being ignored. He generally got what he wanted. So he was impatient, but willing to play by Ben's rules.
"When? Are we moving here?"
"Stop it, Carson. Leave the boss alone."
"Make me, Geoffy." Carson made kissy noises.
"I hate you."
Carson arched one eyebrow. "Don't make me put you over my knee, Geoff."
"Go away, both of you." He hung up on Geoff, then glared at Carson.
"Escape room. Look it up. Just sayin'." Carson hustled out of the room, leaving him some space to breathe.
Okay, next. Mom. He wasn't going to talk about Sierra or Benji or the baby. He was going to not give her money and listen to her chat about Italy.
He took a deep breath and girded his loins, then hit her number on the favorites tab.
It took a few rings, but she did answer. "Sterling! Where have you been? I've called and called. I even spoke to Geoff—such a sweet boy."
"I was out of town. How's Italy?" He always kind of wanted to tell her she could adopt Geoff.
No one had ever called Sterling sweet.
"I'm redoing Paolo's house. He's giving me free rein. I feel like that woman in Under the Tuscan Sun—not the pregnant one."
"Good deal. So you're still liking it then."
"Liking it. Son, this place… The light is perfect. I have a whole room for my studio, and it has the most delicious windows."
"Uh-huh." He got on his computer to research the escape room.
It actually seemed like a lot of fun, it was public, and they could hang out.
"And I need a little to tide me over until the interest starts coming in."
"Huh?" Shit. He'd missed something.
"I invested, dear. I had to put a big chunk into it, but it will pay off. I know it."
"Mom, we've talked about this." Her husband had money. She could hit him up.
"I know. But I like to have a nest egg. Just in case."
"Mmm. You had one. And now you sank it into…"
"It's a new company—cosmetics. Feels like silk against your face. I sold some to your Geoff. You might need some yourself."
"Mom."
"Come on. Just try it. If you hate it, you don't have to send me money."
"Ask your husband for money. Send me the face cream, though." What the hell, why not?
"You sound grumpier than usual."
"Do I? I've been busy."
"Doing what? Anything fun?"
Nope. Just falling in lust with your daughter's biological son's father four hours away from my ranch. Nothing at all. La la la. "Not a thing."
"Huh." She sighed. "I wish you would get out more."
"Mom…" Sierra got out enough for both of them, he reckoned.
"What? I need you to be happy and married, maybe adopt a bunch of babies."
"Your new husband has children too, Mom."
She blew out a frustrated breath. "You're missing the point."
"Which is what, exactly? Someone has to hold down the fort."
"It's a boring fort."
"I like the fort." Was he honestly having this discussion?
"Oh, Sterling."
He rolled his eyes, since she couldn't see. "Ask Paolo, Momma. I've got to go."
"Okay, sweetie. I love you."
"Love you too."
He hung up, then tapped his fingers on the desk. Making a decision, he grabbed his phone again and texted Ben.
What's your thought on escape rooms?>
It took a bit, but he got back. I've never tried one.>
Me either. I was wondering if you might like to try one this week?> He would let Ben steer on what day.
I'll have to check with my mom to see if she can watch the baby>
That wasn't a no. He wanted to do a victory dance, but he settled for a little fist pump.
Okay. Just let me know>
It took everything in him to put his phone down then. Step away. He needed to refill his water and grab some Cheetos or something.
By the time he got back, he had a new text message.
Thursday evening?>
I can get us a 6:00 if you want>
I'll meet you there.>
Ok.> He would rather have picked Ben up, but he got it. Ben didn't want to be dependent on him for the ride. cu@6>
I'll be there. No bullshit. No games. Right?>
You have my word.>
K>
Okay. Okay, that was…that was a date.
He had a date.
Woo. He breathed deep before clicking on the reserve button for the escape room. He made the reservation before grabbing his phone. He could go relax now.
"Are you honestly—"
"Mom, don't."
"But why? Why go out with him?"
"I don't know." Sierra would ask him the same thing, if she hadn't ghosted him.
He couldn't get her to answer calls or texts.
"You don't know?" His mom put her hands on her hips, staring him down. "Is that all you have? Did he buy you or something?"
"Excuse me?" His lips went tight. He was no one's whore. "Do you want to rephrase that?"
He didn't need any more shit from people. He wasn't the bad guy here.
"Baby, I'm worried about you. He's not an honest man." She went all sympathy-mom then, knowing she'd pushed too hard.
"I'm trying to be decent. That's all." And he was curious. And, dammit, he'd liked Sterling.
"Well, be careful, hmm?"
"I will." He had to come home to Xavi. "I'm not an idiot, Mom."
"No, but what about Sierra? Why did she walk away from him? Her family?"
"Why did she walk away from Xavi?" Sierra was Sierra, for fuck's sake. He'd been her friend, not her lover. Not her partner. "I don't have any answers."
"You know he's rich, though, right? Like rich-rich. Like huge ranch and spreads in Architectural Digest rich."
"Yeah." His ears and cheeks heated. He'd looked Sterling up. The man had come from big ranch money up by Aspen, and then he'd won two all-around rodeo titles and won a million-dollar check. Twice. Then some reining championship. The Rodeo News said he was one of the best-paid cowboys in the last two decades.
It didn't matter, except that Mr. Jordan could hire enough fancy lawyers to possibly take Xavi away from him because he was gay.
Of course, so was Sterling.
Maybe he was bi. Bi was a real thing. Maybe he wanted to get married and take Xavi with him.
But he wanted to see what Sterling's endgame was. Better to know now than to sit and wait for that other boot to drop.
Then he would go home, stay home, and raise his son.
"I'll be back by nine thirty at the latest to pick Xavi up."
"Okay, kiddo. Call me if anything changes."
"Ditto. Call me if he needs me. I won't put anyone ahead of him." Not ever. That was a solemn vow he hadn't even known he needed to make.
"I know you won't, son." She pursed her lips and shook her head. "You have to relax."
"Uh-huh." Maybe. Someday. He sighed, grabbing his keys and his wallet. "You be good, little one," he told Xavi.
Xavi's answer was a long, loud fart.
"Oh, classy."
His mom hooted. "Go on. I got this."
He nodded, heading out, and he wondered what Sterling was thinking. Was he manipulating? Was he genuinely interested?
The escape room was downtown, and he found a parking space. He knew he was looking okay—clean, well-dressed, not fancy. Jeans. Sweater. Jacket. Boots.
Nothing that was in the least bit sexy, but also not trashy. This wasn't really a date.
It was a fact-finding mission.
He took a deep breath, then found the newish used truck Sterling was driving a few spaces away. Sterling wasn't in the truck, so he must be inside.
The temptation to walk away was huge, but he wasn't a liar.
He wasn't a shit.
He was a good man.
So he headed inside and found Sterling waiting for him in the lobby, standing at one of those racks of brochures about skiing and four-wheelers.
Sterling turned, his blue eyes lighting up when he saw Benji. "Ben. Hey."
"Hey there." He held out one hand. "How's it going?"
Sterling shook, not too hard, but not too gentle. "It's going. How was work?"
"Good. The kids were pretty good all week. Nothing serious." Did he ask about Sterling's work? "How's the ranch?"
"It's right there waiting for me, I reckon." Sterling's smile was wry. "Now, my mom, she's getting impatient for me to say yes and loan her money."
"Ah." Who didn't loan their mother money?
"Yeah. I mean, her husband has all she needs, but she likes to invest on the side. And not tell her hubs." Sterling reached for his arm, but then dropped his hand. "They're all set up for us."
"Oh. Cool. So…what do we do? Do you know?"
"I think we wait for them to take us to the room, and then we'll get instructions." Sterling spread his hands. "This is my first one."
"Hey, guys." A college-age kid came out from the back. "Welcome to the Conundrum. There will be a short safety video for you to watch before you go in, and then I'll take you to your room." He led them back to a sitting area like at museums, where you always watched videos about horseshoe crabs or something.
They sat, and it was weird—being here, being with Sterling, being unsure. They didn't quite touch as they sat on the bench, but he could feel Sterling's heat, and it made him remember things best forgotten.
"This is weird, huh?" Sterling whispered. "I mean, freaky. There's a suit of armor from a bad haunted house."
He glanced over, and sure as hell, there was a suit of armor, and it did seem like it was going to walk right over to them. "They didn't say anything about full-body contact, right?"
"Nope. Just puzzles."
"Huh. Well…Has it started yet?" Was that a clue?
"No, I think not until we get to our room."
"Oh, okay."
The video droned about not pulling things off the walls, and alerting the attendant if anything malfunctioned. It was pretty standard disclaimer stuff, and then the lights came on, leaving them blinking.
"Okay, guys! Come on, and I'll take you to your room. You got the Robin Hood. It's a great room for the first-time escaper."
"The Robin Hood…" Benji couldn't bear it. He started chuckling, imagining Sterling in green tights and one of those little hats.
Sterling struck a pose like Errol Flynn in the 1930s movie. "Ha-ha!"
That was all it took. Four days of tension shattered like a dropped pie plate, and he cracked up, his laughter bouncing off the fake stone in the hallway.
Sterling joined him, chortling like a newborn fool, and they leaned over, hands on their legs, as they laughed.
The best part was the attendant, standing by, quiet and polite, as if this happened all the time.
Maybe it did. Lord knew they would be ramping up for tourist season soon. They were guinea pigs.
"Come on, man," Sterling said once they wound down. "This should be a hoot."
"This way, gents." The kid was grinning wide as he led them to their escape room, but he was way less eager to get away from Sterling suddenly.
The room was decorated like a feast table, with a huge fireplace, a throne, and a bunch of tapestries on the wall. There were fake sconces, and the walls were painted to seem like stone.
"The screens will fill you in on your quest, merry men. Have fun!" And the kid closed them in. They glanced at each other and cracked up again, howling with laughter in that way that as soon as one would trail off, the other would snort or wheeze and start them up again.
"‘M-m-merry men'. Lord have mercy." He was fixin' to piss himself.
"Ooodle-lolly." Sterling sang it out like a Disney movie, and that set him into another spate of laughter.
"Clues. We got to find clues," Sterling gasped out, and Benji shook his head.
"I don't know what qualifies as a clue…"
"Me either, but we'll figure it out."
They worked together, and it was interesting to see what he did well versus what Sterling did.
He had a math brain, whereas Sterling put patterns together quick enough that it took him a second.
They crowed when they eventually got the clues put together to open the secret door to the second part of the room, and the final puzzle took them the longest, but it was the most fun, because it really did involve the Robin Hood legend, and they had to reach for all that forgotten knowledge from when they were kids.
He had loved that damn Kevin Costner movie. Realistic or not.
By the time they got out, they were both smiling, and he didn't know if he was supposed to just stop or what.
Sterling gave him a warm grin when they hit the parking lot. "I know you probably want to get back to Xavi, but it didn't take us as long as advertised… Would you like to get maybe an appetizer and a beer somewhere?"
"I can get a snack, sure." He wouldn't dare drink, so he'd have a Coke.
"Where should I meet you? You know the town, ho—Ben."
He had to say Sterling was trying with the we're getting to know each other thing.
"How about the Steamworks? It's on East 2nd Street."
"Sounds great. I'll follow you, but that way I know where if I get lost."
"Works for me. I'm parked over there." He motioned to his yellow truck. "You can't miss me."
"I like it." Sterling waved, then went to hop into his truck. It was both good and bad, because he didn't want to have to worry about vehicles if things went bad, but this gave him time to think.
That sucked.
He hated how much he liked hanging out with Sterling, how much they laughed together.
At least Benji could admit that Sterling had been totally a gentleman.
What if this was a mistake?
What if he was being a fool?
He took a deep breath, though, and drove to the Steamworks because he'd said he would. And he waited for Sterling to walk in, not quite brushing shoulders with him.
"So what all is good here?"
"They have this quinoa falafel. It's really good. Poke nachos. Hell, the dirty fries are to die for."
"Sounds amazing." Sterling held the door for him.
"Thank you." He went in and got on the list with the hostess. The wait was short—five to ten. Surely they could wait that long and chat.
"That mare of yours get that cut healed up?" Sterling asked as they sat by the front door.
"I hope so? It's hard to get to her leg, so I'm waiting for the farrier to come on Sunday." He couldn't risk getting hurt with Xavi there in the barn.
"If you need any help, just tell me, Ben. No strings attached. No bullshit. I'm good with horses."
He was trying to be too, but he wasn't going to let his pride hurt an animal. "I appreciate it. If I check her out tomorrow and it isn't better, I'll call."
"Fair enough. I can stop at the feed store and get some ointment I know is good for that."
The hostess took them to their booth, and they ordered a few appetizers to share. Falafel balls, artichoke dip, and the dirty fries, which had pulled pork and sauce and yumminess. It felt a little stilted, but not near as bad as last time they'd sat down together.
In fact, it felt weirdly like a decent first date.
"So, Sterling. What is a normal day in your life like?" That was a fair question, right?
Sterling paused, but he didn't act like he was trying to lie. He was giving it thought. At least that was what it felt like.
"I'm not sure there's a normal day. I mean, I deal with all sorts of business stuff with the ranch. A lot of phone calls. I check stock and go to trade shows and competitions. I don't compete anymore, but I do sponsor, and sometimes I sign autographs." That last confession came with a wry smile.
"Oh, fancy." He rolled his eyes. "It sounds very busy. Have you always worked on a ranch?"
"Yeah. I mean, my dad's family owned the ranch I live on now. It's bigger than it was when I was a kid, because some of our neighbors retired and sold out to me."
"That's cool. How many acres do you have?" Did he really want to know?
"About twenty-five thousand all together. I have the ranch, and then I have two hay- and alfalfa-producing farms that are in different parts of the state." Sterling's cheeks went red, so at least he was aware of the… the disparity, maybe. That was the best thing to call it.
"That's really amazing." He refused to blush or look away. He worked hard for his ten acres. He was proud of it.
"It's something, all right." Now Sterling relaxed into a smile. "I love it. I mean, I've only ever wanted to be a cowboy."
"Yeah? What's your favorite part?" Because he thought he was a dad first, then an RN, then a wannabe cowboy.
"Just the daily work. I love the animals and the land. I love knowing I'm doing good things for both of them." Sterling leaned his elbows on the table, eyes lighting up as he spoke. "I do small batch heirloom beef. Grass-fed as much as possible. We sell direct, so there's no feed lots. And then we do working horses. Like, really keeping the western traditions alive."
"That's amazing. I know that it's a huge thing for health and the environment both—small-scale, grass-fed, and free-range."
"It really is. The food chain and food waste is a major environmental project. We do a lot of composting and repurposing too." Sterling sat back, chuckling. "I wax poetic."
"It's your life, right? There's no shame in that. Mine is simpler, but it's mine." And he knew it, to the bone.
"Hey, you have a good place. Your house really feels like a home. I live mostly in my office." Sterling shrugged, and the food came, which he thought gave Sterling something to do with his hands.
"It's a great place." He dug in, trying to decide whether he should ask another question or wait for Sterling to ask one himself.
"So why did you become a nurse?" Sterling finally broke in, the silence falling away.
No one had ever asked that question. "I was a 68 Whiskey in the service, a medic. When I got out, I already had a bunch of my prerequisites, I knew I loved it, and I knew I could make a living. One day I might go back and get my master's. I don't know."
"And pediatrics?"
"I wanted something that was a day job, but that I also felt in my gut, you know?" He grabbed a hot falafel. "I mean, ER work and hospital is exhausting, and with Xavi, I need the certainty of office hours."
"Did you do emergency, then?"
He nodded. "I did. I worked as an EMT during school, then I worked in the ER for a few years. I didn't hate it, but I needed something that was better for my family."
"Sure. I get that. It's why I quit rodeoing, even though I could still do roping or reining. I needed to settle in and be home more."
"I get that. I looked you up on the internet. You had some amazing rides. Did you have a lot of injuries?"
Sterling's gaze caught his. "You researched my happy ass, huh?" When he nodded, trying not to look away and give up anything, Sterling smiled. "Not as many as the roughstock guys, but I did my share. I got thrown once in the middle of roping a steer, and I came down in a bad triangle between me, the steer, and the horse. I had a broken shoulder and collarbone after that one."
"Ouch."
"Hey, you've had some injuries of your own, and that wasn't playing cowboy."
"No. Those were different."
Sterling shook his head. "Thank you for your service, man. Seriously."
"You're welcome. I wanted to get away from here and make some money for college, but I ended up finding some amazing friends and growing up."
"Yeah." Sterling's tone went tight. "You could have been killed. It makes me a little nuts to think about it."
"It was…" He shrugged and spread his hands wide. What was he supposed to say? He had been trying his best to save lives, including his. "I am really glad I survived. I have a good life, you know?"
"You do." Sterling paused, clearly pondering his words. Which was probably good, but it also made him brace a little for whatever Sterling had to say. "I'd like to be part of it. Your life. I don't know how yet."
"I don't either. I just—Sierra's ghosted me. Blocked my number. Everything. What—I mean, what happened that she's so scared of y'all that she'd lose the ability to see her son?" Something had to have happened.
"Nothing that I know of, honey. I mean it. One day she was home, and maybe chafing at having to follow some of Mom and Dad's rules, but I didn't know she was unhappy. And then she was gone." Sterling's expression was pretty convincing. He seemed baffled.
"She never bitched about you." She never as much as spoke about them. It wasn't even in a weird way. Benji couldn't remember if she'd said her people were dead or evil, or if he'd assumed that. He thought maybe she'd said they didn't speak, but that could be wrong. It wasn't as if he'd hidden his folks. Hell, Sierra had sent flowers to his mom on the anniversary of Dad's death. Mom had been there in the room too when Xavi had been born. There was never any hint.
"I wish I did know, honey. It would make it easier. This is like she just…died without saying goodbye."
"It doesn't make any sense."
"No. Neither did her giving up her baby." Sterling shook his head. "I don't understand this at all."
At least Sterling hadn't said, "to you."
"She was on the pill. They were a little worried Xavi would have low birth weight or some such." He hadn't imagined that one out of every thousand women on birth control ended up pregnant. He never even imagined. "She said she never ever wanted a baby, but before she had an abortion, she asked me. She gave me a miracle. She hung out at the house, watched a bunch of silly TV, craved Cheerios and chocolate milk."
Sterling smiled a little. "She always loved Cheerios when we were kids. She would put the chocolate milk on the cereal."
"Yeah. It was foul. Utterly weird, but she was the pregnant one." He felt bad for Sterling—at least he thought he did. He didn't know, maybe things were really bad. Maybe this wasn't even Sierra's brother. Maybe this whole thing was a hallucination brought on by the lack of sleep.
"Yeah. She can be pushy, too." Sterling's smile vanished. "I'm sorry about all of this. But I'm not sorry I've met you."
"I'm sorry too, that you two are…aren't having the relationship you'd like."
"Are you an only child?"
"Nope. I'm the baby. I have a brother ten years older than me and a sister eight years older. I was an oops baby." His siblings were very close—and he never doubted that they loved him—and they'd left home and the state years ago. "Bobby is in Dallas, and Marjorie is in LA."
"Ah. Neat. City kids, huh?"
He nodded. "They both swore no more small towns. So the closest town to you is…"
"Aspen in one direction. Basalt in the other."
"Ah. Pretty up there. I love Glenwood Springs. I worked at the pool one summer."
"Yeah. I go swimming there every few weeks. Good for the soul. And the feet. Calluses just fall off." Sterling wrinkled his nose. "Which might be too much information."
"Yeah, maybe a little, but I'll pretend I didn't hear. Fair?" God, he liked Sterling.
"That's definitely fair, honey. Thanks." Sterling grinned at him, then grabbed a falafel ball and dipped it in sauce.
"Good aren't they? I love these things." He took one himself.
"They really are." Sterling munched. "I mean, wow."
"I know. Quinoa is usually pretty crunchy when it's fried, but this comes out just crispy enough."
"And I love dirty fries."
"What's not to love? Bacon. Pork. Cheese. Sauce." Benji chuckled and shook his head. "So healthy for us."
"Hey, all things can be good in moderation, right? Usually I'm out working hard, and I've seen how much you run around like a gnat on crack."
"I am a busy guy, for sure. I'm trying not to miss anything."
"You have a lot going on." Sterling fell quiet again, and he could almost feel all the stuff that wanted to burst out. It encouraged him, he thought, that Sterling was trying. This was obviously a guy who was used to fixing things. He probably wanted to offer all sorts of shit.
"I do, but it was nice to spend the evening doing something fun."
"I'm glad. I had a ball. You see that attendant's face when we left? He thought we were nuts."
"I loved that you struck the Errol Flynn again for our picture."
Sterling nodded. "It was either that or the Usain Bolt."
That got him to laughing again.
It was no fair. None at all, but he couldn't hide it.
Sterling made him laugh.
Asshole.