Chapter 22

22

Kara

I’m not sure what happened yesterday with Silas, but it was obvious he was battling with something in his head. When I entered the shower, I wanted much more than just showering, but when I saw something wasn’t right, plans changed quick. I’m glad I was able to help him. I just hope he’ll open up to me one day when he’s more comfortable to do so.

I can only imagine what he goes through at work. Witnessing the tragedy he sees must be a lot to take on for one person.

I never heard from him during his shift, so I’m surprised to get his call in the morning as he’s walking out of the station.

“Morning, Angel,” he says in the sweetest voice.

“Morning. How was your night?”

“Quiet actually, which was nice. I was able to get some sleep. What are you up to?”

“Not much until I pick up the girls at three.”

“Good. Come over and be lazy with me.”

A grin covers my face. “Sounds like the perfect way to spend the day. Be right there.”

We hang up, and as I grab my things, all I can think about is how he looked in that shower. I caught him in a very vulnerable moment, and the true Silas couldn’t hide from his emotions like he normally does.

I want him to know he can open up to me, but I also want him to know it’s important he works through whatever is going on in his head and not keep it bottled up. I know music is what always saves me, so an idea comes to mind, and I head to his house with a plan.

He’s already at the front door, waiting for me, when I pull up.

“Good morning,” I say before he wraps me in his arms with a welcoming kiss.

“Good morning,” he whispers back, then steps to the left so I can enter his home.

I walk in and head right to the counter, where he normally sets his keys, and grab them. Turning to face him, I hold them out for him. “Let’s go for a drive.”

He takes them and eyes me suspiciously. “Where to?”

“You’ll see. Follow me.”

I head toward his garage, and thankfully, he follows me without a question.

We both hop in, and he cranks the engine and looks at me for direction.

I hold out my hand to him. “Phone, please.”

He does as told, not asking questions, but I can tell he’s curious as to what I’m doing by the expression he’s giving me.

He backs out of the garage while I open his Spotify app to see what playlists he has saved to his phone.

I smile at the list that is simply an emoji of a guy wearing a cowboy hat and click it to play.

Once it starts over the speakers, I set the phone down and see him staring at me with raised eyebrows as he waits for his directions as to where we’re going.

“Are you familiar with Natchez Trace Parkway?” I ask.

He nods. “Of course I am.”

The historic route was used by the Native Americans and early settlers in the area since it links the Cumberland, Tennessee, and Mississippi rivers. I just love it because of the tree-lined roads and water, making it one of the most beautiful drives around.

“Good. Go there.”

“To the parkway? But where are we going?”

I place my head on the headrest and let out a breath. “We’re just going to drive, listen to music, and breathe.”

He blinks, obviously not understanding my thoughts.

I place my hand on his. “Trust me. It’s better than any therapy you could ever pay for.”

Silas

I stare at this beautiful woman in front of me. She knows something was happening with me yesterday morning in the shower, and she still has not pried to find out what it was about. Even though I tried to play it off like it didn’t happen when I called her this morning, it obviously concerned her, so here she is, trying to find a way to help me.

I inhale a deep breath and put the truck in reverse to pull out of my driveway and head toward Natchez Trace Parkway.

We drive the scenic road as music plays through my speakers. Not a word is said between us as I focus on the road and the lyrics and, like she said, just breathe.

As time goes by, I feel myself relax. The breaths I’m taking are deeper, cleansing my lungs more. My head feels clearer without a thousand things running through it about my job or the panic attack I had in the shower yesterday.

It’s just me, the road, the music, and my angel beside me.

Who knew something like this could be so healing?

I know this road can take us for as long as we want to go, which, at this pace, I’m totally fine with driving to Mississippi, but she has to get the girls, so when I see a place to stop and grab a bite to eat, I head toward it.

Once I’m parked, I reach for her hand. “This was perfect.”

She gives me her gorgeous grin. “I’m glad.”

“Let’s grab a bite to eat, then head back before we lose track of time.”

She nods and hops out of the truck, meeting me at the front and reaching to hold my hand again.

We sit in the diner-style eatery, and after our food is ordered, I sit back and stare at her.

“What?” she asks nervously.

“I’m just in awe of you, of your suggestion to take this drive.”

“You looked like you needed it yesterday. Taking drives like this with music playing always calms my mind.”

I close my eyes briefly, nodding my head, not sure what to say.

“Do you ever talk to someone? Like, does the city provide counseling for all the horrible things you see?”

I raise my eyebrows slightly and let out a breath. “That’s what choir practice is for.”

“Choir practice?”

I nod. “Yep. After my first really bad call, my captain placed his arm over my shoulders and said, ‘Let’s get you to choir practice.’”

“You sing church music?” she asks in disbelief, and I laugh out loud.

Shaking my head, I answer, “No. It’s when we go to the bar and drink our problems away.”

Her eyes open slightly. “Drink your problems away?”

I nod. “Yep. That’s why I was at the bar so early the day I met you.”

“And the day they called me …”

I sigh. “Choir practice that day wasn’t working as well as planned. I think they all were thankful they could call you that night.”

“Does everyone participate in choir practice?”

“Yeah. It’s impossible to just go home after such intense calls and go on with your life. You have to have something to get rid of the memories.”

“Yeah, but drinking doesn’t seem like the healthiest way to deal with things like that.”

I nod, inhaling and letting it out slowly. “No, it doesn’t. But …” I leave my thought just hanging in the air because I don’t know what else to say.

“I’m glad they were able to call me, and I’m glad I surprised you in the shower yesterday morning. I don’t want you to bottle those things in. It’s not healthy. Just know that I’m here to talk if you ever need to.”

Memories of what caused my panic attack flash through my mind, but I don’t want to ruin our moment by bringing it up, so I just grin and nod.

Maybe she and Cooper are right though, and I should go talk to someone.