7. Seojun

CHAPTER 7

SEOJUN

S ee…I'm confused.

Because according to Mr. Happy himself, he's straight, but then he literally carried me through the dirt so I didn't get mud on my Jimmy Choos, so what am I supposed to think?

That he's a gentleman? He is, I guess.

That he's hot? He's that too.

That he's interested in me? Pfft. As if.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I've had my fair share of "straight boys" parade through my bedroom—one at a time, of course. And on different days. I'm not a slut.

The thing is…even if he does like me, I don't like him. No, I don't. Even if he's Prince Charming incarnate, he's still a creep who works for SPAM, so…

Besides, he's infuriating. With his cheery voice that edges pretty close to sing-songy and his never-ending smiles. Ew. Gross. Gag.

"I still don't understand what's wrong with it," he says, and I can barely hold back from choking him.

"It wasn't your job to do," I reply.

"But he got the flat tire helping us. The least I could do was help him."

"That's why people have insurance, you know. And he wasn't helping us. We were paying him to take us from Point A to Point B."

"Exactly. I.e., helping us."

"Not."

"Besides, we weren't really paying him, were we? You just did your little signature trick at the end, and the poor guy will be short when he finishes his shift tonight."

I cackle. No, really. Cackle.

"It was the least I could do after you delayed us trying to be a mechanic. Weren't you in a rush?"

He nods. "I'm sure she'll understand."

"She?"

Oh dear Lord, please don't tell me he's taking me home to his girlfriend. Or at least, please tell me this signature will soon stop affecting both of us so I can get out of here. I'm tired. Drained. Lying really takes it out of me, especially when I have to maintain my cover for so long. I mean, lying is hard in and of itself, but lying well…well, that's a skill. A skill I've had to master over the years.

"Yeah, Shuga," he answers, and I stop in my tracks to stare at him.

"Sugar? What the hell? Are you dating a stripper?"

He chuckles, and I have half a mind to slap some sense into him when a gang of people appear around the corner.

"Jack-Jack? Is that you?" a big Black guy with short curly blond hair says, and Jack turns around.

"Zeke!" he says.

Fuck.

Great.

More people to deal with. I just want to rest and plan my next step. Is that too much to ask?

"What are you doing here, guys?" Jack asks the group gathering in front of us.

"It's movie night, silly. Did you forget?" asks an Asian girl with gorgeous long hair in a floral dress that would be to die for if it was designer.

"You better have bought popcorn, dude. You know how grumpy Robin gets if there's no popcorn," Zeke adds.

"Oh my God. He forgot. Of course he forgot. He hates us. Why wouldn't he forget? Why would he get the popcorn? He's trying to break up with us gently." A tall white guy frowns and tears trail down his cheeks, sniffing.

What the hell? Way to be overdramatic.

"Relax, Brandon. None of that is true. You know Jack would say so if that's how he felt," the girl says, rubbing the tall, white guy's back with way too much compassion.

"Annie's right, Brandon. Besides, how could I ever break up with you guys? You're all the best."

"Break up?" I mumble.

Is Mr. Happy in a poly relationship? How fun.

"Oh! Hi! Who is that? New friend?" says a person in a wheelchair with turquoise bangs.

"Oh, definitely a new friend, Robin," Annie says and steps forward to embrace me.

What the hell?

"Your aura is so…" she says, letting go and waving a hand in front of me before she finishes, "cute."

"Thanks?" I have no idea what she's talking about, but perhaps the best course of action is to keep my talking to a minimum.

Which to be honest, might be hard. I like talking.

"And what would be your name, you fabulous creature?" Zeke asks with flair and pizzazz, and I can't help but smile.

I like him.

"I'm Se—" I pause.

I was just about to give my real name again. And they're not under the influence of my signature.

Oh, damn it. Bob already knows it, so even if Jack forgets it, his partner won't.

"Seojun," I tell them.

"That's so cute. And I love that fur!"

I take a bow for Annie, who claps her hands with excitement.

"Gorgeous, darling," she says. "I'm Annie."

She moves her hands above her head as if it's written in the sky, and I can't help but think she's a little away with the fairies. Or maybe she's just high.

"I'm Robin," the person in the wheelchair says and gives me their hand. "They/them."

"He/him," I reply instinctively.

I shake their firm hand before Annie drapes herself over Zeke.

"This big teddy bear is Zeke. He/him." Zeke offers me his hand. "I'm she/her. And this is Brandon. Also he/him." She moves to the tall guy and ruffles his blond hair.

Brandon frowns again.

"You left me for last. That means I'm out, right? I'm being replaced by Seojun, aren't I? It's only fair, I guess. He's so much better than me."

What's this guy's problem?

"Excuse, Brandon. He always sees the glass half-empty," Jack says.

"What glass?" I ask.

"The metaphorical one?"

"It's my power. More like my curse," Brandon adds, and it all makes sense.

"Wait a sec. You always see the bright side of life, and you"—I point at Brandon—"always see the shit side? What a pair!"

"Oh, we're not a pair. I'm nothing. A no one," Brandon says. "How could Jack ever be with a guy like me?" And here I thought I was disenchanted with life in general.

The drama queen turns to Annie, who comforts him as he cries, and I have to bite my cheek to keep from rolling my eyes. Poor thing can't help his power. I need to remember that before I say or do something awful to him and make him want to die or something.

"But you're the best no one there is," Annie sings, patting his back.

"Are we going to stay out here or what? Let's get the party started," Zeke says and goes past me, followed by Robin, Annie, and Brandon, who are still embraced, leaving Jack and me behind.

"I'm so sorry," he says. "I forgot it was movie night."

I roll my eyes.

"You have movie nights? What are you? Five?"

"No. Thirty-five."

"Do you think that makes it better?" I ask him.

He's smiling again. Arghhh! He's so annoying. But also, those dimples are…mouth-watering.

"Of course it does. I have much more cognitive consonance and life experience as well as a deeper appreciation that makes the movie-watching experience more nuanced and meaningful."

I grimace.

"You just said a lot of big words, and it's fucking weird."

Jack's friends stand by the front door to an apartment building, staring at us, and Jack walks toward them.

"Is that because you don't know what they mean?"

I gasp.

"Bitch, please. Of course I do," I reply.

As if I'm going to admit I don't know what cognitive consonance means. I won't give him the satisfaction.

Jack goes to the front of the line. I follow close behind him as he unlocks the front door and we all march toward the elevator.

"So, Jack. You haven't told us yet. Who is Seojun, and where did you meet?" Zeke asks once we're in the elevator, slurring his words as if there's hidden meaning behind them. The way he's smirking tells me there most definitely is.

"Oh, ah…yeah," Jack says. I glare at him and try to find anything on him to squeeze threateningly. "He's…"

The only part of him available to me, squished as we are, in the elevator, is his tushie.

A big, fleshy tushie.

"Ouch!" he cries out when I pinch it, and that warmth from before washes over me again.

What is that all about? I really need to experiment with signing people when this is all over because I hate not knowing the full effect of my power more than anything in the world.

"What?" I ask, daring him to tell them who I am. Although if what happened earlier at the office is any indication, he probably can't say it even if he tries.

"Nothing." He shakes his head and turns to his friends. "He's my boyfriend."

"Fiancé," I correct him.

"What?" everyone exclaims in unison, and the elevator shakes, adding to the drama.

"You're engaged?"

"Your fiancé?"

"Since when?"

Oh crap. Here we go again.

"Maybe he kept it from us because he doesn't like us anymore. Or worse. He doesn't love us anymore."

"I don't hate you guys," Jack tells Brandon, but it's aimed at all of them.

I kinda wish we'd come up with a different lie for his friends. Of course they feel betrayed that their best friend hasn't told them about meeting the love of his life. Because if I'm someone's fake fiancé, I'm most definitely the fake love of their life.

"But when were you going to tell us?" Zeke asked.

"Now?" I offer, but I'm not sure if it's any help.

"Exactly," Jack says and stops in front of a red door with the number thirteen on it. "That's why I brought Seojun with me for movie night."

"I thought you'd forgotten about movie night," I tell him.

What happened to me keeping my mouth shut? Why am I not following my own rules? Why am I making things worse?

"No, honey. I didn't forget. I was acting," he grinds between his teeth.

"Ah. So you didn't tell him he was meeting us either!" Zeke points from Jack to me with a look of sheer revelation.

"That's right. I'm as surprised as you guys."

I know I'm a supervillain, but that's out there in the cruel, cold world of New York. In here, surrounded by kind strangers, I'll let Jack be the bad guy. He can handle it. He's got the power for it.

"Right. Yeah. Surprise!" he exclaims with a genuine smile that makes me feel just a tinge of guilt.

Only a tinge though.

It's not my fault this guy can only see the good in everything without reprieve. Yeah, maybe I'm taking advantage of him, but I can't have these people looking at me funny if I'm gonna have to watch a movie with them.

"Hm…" Robin says as Jack opens his front door and steps inside.

"But why keep it from us?" Brandon cries again.

I really hate seeing this guy wrap himself in knots over this. Or the glares Zeke is giving. Or how annoyed Robin looks. Actually, I'm not enjoying seeing Jack take the fall for this at all. And I can't understand why.

"It's my fault, you guys. Jack was protecting me. I'm…I'm still in the closet, see."

Five pairs of eyes all turn and stare at me, and I can't say I blame them. Here I am, wearing the most flamboyant clothes, makeup, and nails to the T, claiming I'm not out.

"You are?" Zeke asks.

I nod very slowly as if that will make it more convincing, and Annie slaps Jack's arm.

"And you surprise outed him to us? Shame on you!" she says.

"Yeah. How could you!" Robin adds when a big furry thing jumps at Jack.

"Rat! Rat!" I scream and back away into a ball on the floor.

There's a deafening silence following my cry, and when I eventually look up, everyone is staring at me. Again.

"What are you doing?" Brandon asks.

I point at Jack.

"A rat jumped at Jack!" I say.

"That's Shuga. That's not a rat."

I scoff.

"I mean, I'm not one to judge, but I think it's highly offensive to call Jack's girlfriend a rat."

Everyone frowns except for Jack, of course, who's holding a furball to his neck and beaming.

"Jack's girlfriend?" Zeke asks. "What are you talking about?"

"Sugar," I tell them.

"The sugar glider?" Robin asks.

The what glider?

I look closer into Jack's hand. Sure enough, a little head with huge eyes peeks through. A fluffy tail is draped over Jack's neck. It's definitely not a rat. More like…a beaver. Or something.

"He's just kidding guys. Don't pay him any mind. He's a real joker. He likes to tease me that Shuga is like my girlfriend. You know, I have to be on time, or she'll chew my ear off and all that," Jack says, and for a moment, everyone stays quiet.

Then, one by one, starting with Annie, they all burst into laughter.

"He's so right! Shuga is like a girlfriend!" Annie chuckles, and everyone walks into the apartment, leaving me for last.

"Sorry," I whisper.

He shrugs me off. "It's all good."

This time, his smile doesn't quite shine in his eyes, and I worry this is all too much for him. Lying to his partner might not be that bad, but lying to his friends…is evil. Maybe. I'm not sure. If I had any friends, I might know how he feels right now. But since I don't—and since I'm a supervillain, anyway—I don't care.

"You have a beaver?" I ask him.

He narrows his eyes and chuckles.

"You mean a sugar glider?"

"Eh, same species."

"Have you…seen a beaver before? They're nothing alike. He's more opossum than beaver."

I raise an eyebrow and glance at the little beaver.

"Yeah. Exactly. Same thing. Beaver, opossum."

"That is not what I said."

"Anyway…" I walk into the apartment, taking my coat off for the first time in what feels like forever. "This is where you live?"

It's a small studio apartment with a small couch in front of a TV, the tiniest kitchen known to man, and a single bed in the corner.

What a sad excuse for a house.

"Um, yeah," Jack says.

I glare at him and shake my head.

"Where can I put this?" I look around me for a hanger, but everything looks worn down. Not dirty necessarily, just…cheap. "Never mind."

I wrap the coat back around me and sit on the edge of the couch, ensuring minimal contact between the furniture and my clothes. This simply won't do, but I manage to get adequately comfortable.

And then I realize everyone's staring at me.

"What?"

Annie pats the space next to her, and I refuse as politely as I can muster.

"What are we watching?" I glance at the TV that looks like it's been pulled straight out of the nineties, all boxy, spacious, and curvy, and turn to Jack again.

"Did you rob a thrift store?"

Robin chuckles. Annie purses her lips. Brandon starts crying again, and Zeke puts his hands on his hips.

"More like Denise robbed him blind," Zeke says.

"Who is Denise?"

"You haven't told him about Denise?"

Jack hides behind his beaver, and I bite the inside of my cheek.

"We've been too busy getting to know each other to talk about our exes," I offer before Zeke punches me or Jack into a wall.

"Denise is…" Jack starts as he sets the beaver down in its cage and approaches the rest of us.

"A bitch," Robin says.

"A lost soul," Annie offers.

"A poor cow," Brandon says.

"A fucking monster," Zeke says.

"My ex."

"Ex doesn't even cut it," Robin scoffs.

"That's right. She's the dickhead who took everything and left you with nothing. She's more than just an ex." Zeke raises his voice. "She's a horrible human being."

"The worst," Brandon agrees.

Jack shrugs and licks his lips.

"Come on, guys. She wasn't that bad."

"He had to buy stuff from Craigslist because she ran with his money and all their stuff." Annie grabs my hand and squeezes it.

"She does sound terrible," I tell Jack.

"It wasn't like that. She was trying to start over."

"With your shit," Zeke snaps.

"He can't see it," Annie whispers to me. "Just like Brandon can't see he's loved."

I'm thoroughly intrigued, but I've already opened my mouth more than I should, so I'm keeping it firmly shut for the rest of the evening.

"Right. Got it. Bad bitch. See? That's why we haven't talked about the past. Just…the future. Now, what movie are we watching?"

I don't know how I've ended up with a group of strangers and a fake fiancé, but the sooner this is over, the better.

Annie shakes a plastic bag for show and puts her hand inside. When she takes it out, she retrieves a VHS tape.

" 13 Going on 30 !" she announces.

"My favorite movie!" I screech. "How did you know?"

Okay, I have no clue how she found a VHS and, most importantly, why and how there even is a VHS version of Jennifer Garner's best movie to date—other than Elektra , of course—but I'm gagging for a rewatch.

"Oh, perfect," Annie says and…puts her arms around me to hug me.

What the fuck? Why would she do that?

"I'll put it on." Robin snatches the tape from Annie's hand, who in turn lets go of me and sits back on the couch.

"I guess I'm making popcorn?" Zeke says with an eye roll and walks to the kitchen.

Everyone settles soon enough, and I feel trapped, smack dab right in the middle, smothered with icky things like love and acceptance, as if I'm a wildcat that's been involuntarily domesticated, when pain shoots all over my body.

"Are you okay?" Brandon asks when I fold in two.

I shake my head and look behind me. Jack is also on the floor.

"Come back!" I shout, and everyone turns to him, but before they can see him wince, he steps backward and smiles at everyone. "Where do you think you're going?"

"The bathroom." He points behind him to a door.

I take a deep breath and compose myself.

"I'll come with." I spring off the couch and walk around so I'm close to him.

"To the bathroom?" Jack asks me before anyone else has the chance to.

"Yes, darling. To the bathroom. Or did you forget I can't be apart from you wherever you go?" I mutter the last bit.

"I thought you don't do number ones or twos." Jack has the nerve to chuckle, and I glare at him.

"I don't. But clearly, you do." I drag him away toward the bathroom, shaking my head.

I can't believe I'm still stuck to him. What happens if I want to take a shower, and I most definitely will want to after such a long day? Or what happens if I need to…brush my teeth in the bathroom. I can't brush my teeth in front of someone else.

"Oh my God, you guys! They're inseparable!" Annie coos, and I throw my evil smile at her before I open the bathroom door and nearly gag. It's tiny. But at least that means I won't have to go in with him.

"You can go," I whisper to him. "But just so you know, I'm not sleeping here tonight."

Jack looks around as if taking in his apartment for the first time and frowns.

Wait, he can do that? I thought he was a happy chappy twenty-four-seven. What the hell? Does that mean I can hurt his feelings?

"Okay," he mouths and closes the door behind him.

It's easy not to care about hurting his feelings when he's out of sight. Because I don't. I don't care about hurting anyone's feelings. I'm a supervillain and proud of it.

I wave at the gang staring at me, and two moments later, Jack comes out, and we go back to watching the movie.

They sit him right next to me, of course, which means he's plastered all over my side, but thankfully, my fur coat puts a layer between us. The last thing I need is for him to be touching me right now.

"Are you sure you don't want to take this off?" one of the guys asks, but I shake my head, trying to hide my frustration.

I'm melting, but it's not coming off.

"I'm cold," I tell them. "Now watch, Jenna is about to go in the closet." I point at the TV.

Somehow, I get drawn into the movie, which I guess isn't that hard since I love it, but still. All things considered, I'm in too much of a pickle to enjoy myself. I just need it to be over so I can go home.

But then…

I turn around just as Jenna manages to fix everything and get her happily ever after, and I find him. Lying on me. More specifically, buried in the fur on my shoulder.

Maybe he's not the monster I imagine him to be. Maybe he's actually…decent. Maybe waking him would be cruel, considering what I've put him through today.

"She never got to live her childhood!" Brandon cries with all the tissues in front of him, and Robin comforts him.

"Of course she did, Brandon. We just didn't see it," Annie comforts him. "We're should go," she whispers when she notices Jack next to me.

I nod, and slowly but surely, they all put their shoes and coats back on. All I can do is look at Jack.

He looks at peace. As if I haven't shaken up his world. As if I haven't trapped him to me for God knows how long.

"Good night," Zeke whispers, and the door clicks shut.

And with that, my mind snaps back into place.

I roll away and let Jack fall to his side.

"Wake up, Mr. Happy."

I watch him go from oblivion to squeezing his eyes and nuzzling the sofa cushions, and I can't help but wish he was nuzzling me in that way.

"What happened?" he mutters when he manages to open his heavy eyes.

Damn it, Seojun. Get your head screwed on .

"We're going home is what's happening. Get up, get dressed."

That's right. I can't spend any more time in this guy's world. It's like a trap. An enchantment. And the last thing I need is to do something icky, like get a crush or fall in love with the guy in front of me.

I'm a supervillain. Supervillains don't fall for the good guy. Ever.