5. Seojun

CHAPTER 5

SEOJUN

" A re you sure you're okay?" the guy asks Jack, and I turn to watch him.

He really is a gorgeous man. That beard is glorious, but despite all the dark hair framing his face, it really just makes him look more…cuddly. And those arms…

Ooh, those arms are big and strong and inked, and what wouldn't I give to be handled by them.

"I…am," Jack says and glances at me, but if he's phased by his current predicament, he doesn't show it.

Truly, I don't know if this man is capable of frowning. Even when he attempted it before I signed him, he looked comically entertained.

"Why are you being weird? And who is this guy?" the other man asks.

He's older, much older than Jack, who I pegged somewhere around his early thirties. This guy seems double that, with a prominent shiny forehead, silver hair, and scarily blue eyes. They couldn't be more opposite.

"I'm not being weird," Jack answers.

"He's not being weird," I say at the same time.

Jack and I exchange a glance when the other guy raises his eyebrow.

"If you say so. But who is this? Aren't you going to introduce me?"

"He's…" Jack opens his mouth, but if he's trying to warn his colleague, he doesn't succeed. "He's…he's my…he's my boyfriend," Jack says.

I'm his what? I gasp and turn to him.

Where on earth does he get off thinking he can pass me off as his boyfriend? As if I would be caught dead anywhere near him.

I mean, sure, he's attractive, and sure, he's just my type—dark, handsome, with a bear-bod I'd love to explore…with my tongue. But me, his boyfriend? Bitch, please.

"Your boyfriend? I didn't know you had a boyfriend." The guy's voice goes up an octave, and it startles me. When I look at him, he appears genuinely heartbroken. "Why didn't you tell me? We've been partners for so long. Did you think I wouldn't approve?"

"No! No, I didn't think that, but—" Jack starts.

"I mean, I know you've dated girls in the past. Was that for show because you didn't think I could take it?"

Somehow, I knew Jack was straight. The good ones always are. Or at least the ones I find attractive.

Oh well. What can you do?

"I mean, give me a break. I'm old. I'm not a bigot."

I roll my eyes as discreetly as I can. Of course he'd say that. No one is a bigot until they come face to face with a femme guy who pushes all their toxic masculinity buttons, and then words like "gross," "disgusting," and "freak" are thrown around.

Although, to be fair, this guy hasn't given me the once-over. Yet.

The guy extends his hand to me, and it takes me a few moments to realize he wants to shake my hand.

"I'm Bob. Bob White. Nice to meet you."

I choke down a laugh because what else would his name be and shake his hand.

"Seojun Bae. Nice to meet you too."

Oh shit.

Did I just tell him my real name? What the fuck? Why would I do that? I've never given up my real name. Like, ever. What the hell did I just do? Now, when this is all over, they might remember me, and even worse, they might find me.

I don't want to give up my beauty of an apartment. Agh!

Stupid, stupid Seojun.

"Seojun, did you say? Korean?"

"Yep." I groan, fighting the urge to slap my face hard.

"Well, nice of you to drop by. Happy here hasn't brought anyone over."

I grimace.

So these people can bring family and friends into the building? What's that about? I thought this was a top-secret government facility. Do all these people and their families know what kind of disgusting work they do here? Rounding up people who are different and disappearing them?

"Hang on. Did you just say Happy?" I ask.

Bob glances from me to Jack and back to me again, laughing.

"Do you not know his nickname? How is that possible?"

"He has a nickname?"

"Sure does."

"And it's Happy?"

Bob gives me his most WTF-esque hand gesture and points at his partner.

"Have you seen his face? This man can never stop smiling."

Well, he has a point there. That's true. I've noticed that, and I've only known the guy for five minutes.

"Happy, huh?" I flick Jack's cheek with a finger and smirk.

"Yeah, Happy. Why? Is that a problem?" He raises an eyebrow but doesn't look pissed. More…intrigued.

"No, no problem, darling. No problem at all…Happy!" I make sure to pop my Ps and ruffle his hair, hoping I can rile him up, but if anything, he looks even happier.

A guava-esque scent reaches my nostrils, and in combination with his soft hair, it makes me catch my breath. A warm feeling grows from my hand, spreading down to my arm and the rest of my body.

It's weird.

It's nice.

It's alien.

"You guys are cute together."

I shake my head and turn to Bob.

"Why, thank you, Bob. You're sweet to say that."

Maybe I've misjudged this guy. Maybe he's not that bad. Then again, he's a SPAM and CREEP agent, so I reserve the right to change my mind about him.

"Have you shown your boyfriend around?" Bob asks.

"Fiancé!" I say. I don't know why.

"Fiancé?" Bob's eyes go wide, and he stares at his partner. "You got engaged, Happy? And didn't tell me anything?"

Well, shit. Why did I say that? What is wrong with me? I didn't even want to go along with the boyfriend bit in the first place, and now I contribute "fiancé." What?

I'm gonna kill myself.

"Yeah, I…I don't…" Jack mumbles.

Did signing him make him lose the ability to speak to anyone other than me?

"Come on, darling. Don't be shy. Tell Bob here how you proposed to me." I stroke his hair again.

And again, I have no idea why. But the more I touch him, the more I smell this guava shampoo bullshit, and all I can feel is my body on fire as if being licked clean by a porn star's tongue.

"Yeah…um…I took him where we first met," Jack manages, and phew, I didn't break him.

"Oh yeah, tell him where we met, darling." But I may have broken myself.

Why can't I shut up?

Jack gives me his biggest smile yet before he turns to Bob.

"We met… He's a friend of a friend, and they set us up on a blind date. They bugged me for ages that he'd be the perfect fit for me, but Seojun was reluctant to meet me."

"I was?" I ask, and Jack glares at me for a very brief moment. "I mean, I was. I was, you know, scared of commitment, relationships, bleh."

"But they managed to wear him down, so he went out with me, and the rest is history." Jack doesn't miss a beat.

Either he's too good at lying, or my signing him has caused him to be one hell of a liar.

"That's sweet. How long have you been together?" Bob asks.

"Two years," I answer.

Damn it.

"Two years?" Bob's jaw drops.

"Yeah, two years. I've known he's the one since day one, but I had to wait a while before I proposed. Didn't want him to think I'm crazy. So a few weeks ago, I took him back to the first place we met, this gay club my friends like to go to called Poèt. And yeah, I dragged him onto the dancefloor, got down on one knee, and asked him to marry me."

I shake my fingers at Bob and lock my arm around Jack's neck in an awkward hug.

"He got the wrong ring size, my dufus. But hopefully, it'll be ready soon. I can't wait to put that ring back on so everyone knows I'm off the market."

Is this a dream? It must be a dream. I can't find another possible explanation for why I'm making things worse for myself otherwise.

Maybe it's my signature.

I've never signed for a person before. I didn't even know I could, and now that I have, I don't know the side effects. I don't know what the repercussions will be, and worst of all, I don't know how long it will last. So I better act quickly, get the information I need, and ditch to find a new apartment. Which is so unfair. I love my apartment. I worked so hard to get it. But I made my bed when I casually revealed my name to both of them, so now I need to lie in it.

"Congratulations to you both. That's incredible. But Happy…Jack. Why wouldn't you tell me? I thought we were friends. Partners."

The disappointment is clear as day on Bob's face. I kinda feel sorry for the guy, which is odd because I never feel sorry for anyone. Especially evil people like them.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say," Jack says.

"Well, are you at least going to invite me to the engagement party, or are you gonna keep that a secret too? Or…wait a minute. Don't tell me. You've already had it."

"No, no, no, we haven't had it yet. Of course you can come. Martha too," Jack says.

I glare at him. Why would he say that? I mean, I get not wanting to break his heart, but like, wouldn't inviting him to a nonexistent party break his heart even more?

Well, maybe we can say it's months away so there will be plenty of time for the signature effects to wear off and for me to disappear. Hopefully, with my mom and brother.

"Ah, great. When is it?"

"Friday. Eight p.m." Why do I keep opening my mouth? What is wrong with me? I'm usually much better at this whole supervillaining thing. Unless it's a side effect of using my power on a person. Hm…further testing is required. Once this one wears off, of course.

"We'll be there. You have my word," Bob says.

"Can't wait to have you there," Jack answers before he looks at me. "Isn't that right, honey?"

"Honey? You're going with honey?" I glare at him before I can stop myself.

Like I said. I seem to have lost the ability to hold my tongue.

"Yes, honey. Something new I wanted to try, honey."

Ooh. Is Happy Jack being snarky? That would be a first in the five minutes I've known him.

"Yes, yes. We'll be super excited to have you there, Bob. Now, sweetheart," I say and point to the keyboard. I really need to focus. "Shall we get on with…"

"You guys must be busy with all the planning and stuff. I'll…I'll go get a drink and leave you to it. Wait till I tell Martha about this. She won't believe it." Bob waves at both of us and leaves the room, and Jack mumbles something about clits and housewives that I don't get.

Jack is staring at me.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." He shrugs. "I'm just thinking about the engagement party we have to plan now."

"We have to plan a party?"

"Well, you just told my partner we're engaged and having a party, so yeah, I think we need to plan a party, considering we can't be separated."

I blow some air and wave him off.

"Please, darling. The signature won't last that long. That's the problem with my power. It barely lasts a couple of hours, if that."

"Are you sure?" He looks down at his signed arm, and I bite the inside of my cheek.

"Of course." I chuckle. "You'll see. By tomorrow, I'll be a distant memory, Happy ."

Or I hope to God I will.

Why did I have to go and sign a person?