Chapter 14

Kenna was lucky enough to grab half a bottle of good wine from the dining room that evening, as well as a few slices of bread, some chicken, and fruit. She had not been feeding the horses for the last few days and was feeling quite remorseful, but the apples were finished for the year, and the horses had to make do with the remains of chopped-up vegetables and their peels.

Kenna knew that she was keeping Ewan waiting by going on her little errand, but something inside her wanted to make him suffer a little. While she wanted to hear what he had to say, she was dreading it at the same time. Then again, could she be making something out of nothing? Perhaps he had not been looking at Douglas at all but at something else that had caught his attention.

Then why had he jumped back in fright? And why had Douglas carried on looking up at the window? Kenna remembered the slight frown on his face when he saw Kenna and the way he had nonchalantly gone back to playing with his dog. What did it all mean?

She came to Frankie's horse, Robbie, who was now a very old man indeed, and gave him the only whole apple she had been able to find, a very old and wrinkled one. Robbie, however, did not care, but crunched it up with all the vigor of a young stallion, then rubbed his nose on her hair, which was his gesture of affection for her.

Kenna giggled. He had been her friend for more years than she cared to remember, and their relationship had never soured. He never argued with her, always listened patiently, never interrupted when she spoke, never answered back, and was always there when she needed him. They understood each other.

"I don't understand him, Robbie," Kenna said sadly, sighing as she leaned her forehead against the big horse's. "One minute he seems so good, and a moment later I am sure that he has a well of black secrets inside him." She sighed. "What am I going to do, Robbie?"

Talk to him, you silly woman! said a deep man's voice inside her head. It was the voice she always imagined Robbie would use if he could really speak. Did you not say you trusted him?

"Hmmm…" Kenna said softly. "Robbie, I am beginning to wonder if I am right about that."

"Right about what?" said a quiet man's voice behind her.

Kenna whipped round to see Roy, arms folded, smiling at her. Nothing about him looked threatening, yet she tensed instinctively.

"That is really none of your business," she snapped, glaring at him.

"Well, ye are talkin' tae a horse," he pointed out, laughing. "I can hear every word ye're sayin', Kenna."

Not the ones in my head, thank God, she thought viciously. Aloud, she asked, "Are you spying on me?"

"No, just came tae see how the horses are daein'," he replied. "What are ye doin'?"

He stepped forward and peered into her basket, which was empty. He raised his eyebrows in a question and looked at her.

"I feed them treats—apples, vegetables, whatever is left in the kitchen," she replied, shrugging. "I have been doing it for years. Surely you knew."

"Of course I did. I just never met ye daein' it before."

He stepped forward to rub Robbie's nose, but the horse whickered and shied away from him.

Now Kenna's suspicions about Roy's character were confirmed. Animals could always tell good from bad, and she was looking at a bad man at that very moment. Roy was handsome, but he was vain and selfish.

Abruptly he said, "I know yer secret." Then he looked up at her, his blue eyes glinting with malice. "But I will keep it tae myself if ye promise tae be my sweetheart."

Kenna's heart seemed to plummet into her stomach, and for a split second she froze in terror, then she recovered and laughed at him scornfully.

"What are you talking about?" she demanded. "Like everyone else, I have personal matters that I like to keep to myself, but I have no deep dark secrets. So perhaps if you know what it is, you can tell it to me."

She hoped that he could not hear the thundering of her heart, which was almost beating out of her chest in sheer terror, even while she kept her expression scornful and defiant.

For a moment Roy looked less sure of himself, then he recovered his cocksure attitude and scoffed, "The secret ye have taken such trouble tae hide, Kenna."

Kenna sighed wearily. She put her hands on her hips, looking at him in such a bored, long-suffering fashion that she looked as if she was about to yawn.

"Please tell me, Roy, because I am really tired and would like to go to bed."

"If ye become my lass, I will keep yer secret safe," he said slyly.

"You will have to tell me what the secret is first." Kenna rubbed her eyes and yawned. "Anyway, why would I want to be the sweetheart of someone who is trying to blackmail me? Go away. I am tired of this. Goodnight."

She turned away, half-expecting to hear the sound of his footsteps following her, but there was nothing.

Her heart was still beating nineteen to the dozen as she approached the kitchen to fetch the food she had squirreled away for Ewan. What if Roy was watching her? What if he was following her silently, keeping to the shadows? He said he knew her secret, but was he bluffing, toying with her out of spite for rejecting him?

Should I take the food or just walk past the kitchen?she thought as she neared the door. She had changed her mind half a dozen times before she decided that it was simply not worth the risk. If Roy had followed her and challenged her, she could say she was hungry and had taken some leftovers to fill herself up before bedtime. It was a plausible enough story, although strictly speaking, staff were not allowed to eat in their bedrooms, but she thought it better not to engage him in any more conversation.

Kenna strode as quickly as she could to her chamber, fumbling with the lock on the door in her haste to enter. At last, it gave way, and she almost fell through the doorway.

As soon as she entered the room, Maxwell could see that Kenna was more upset than he had ever seen her. He forgot about his food. He forgot about the fear he felt in having to tell her his identity. He forgot about everything but the need to comfort her.

"Kenna?"

He crossed the space between them and gripped her by the upper arms, then looked into her eyes. They were filled with unshed tears, and he felt his heart melt with sympathy.

"What happened? What is wrong?" He shook her gently. "Tell me, love. I can help. Tell me."

For a moment, Kenna stood silent and still, then she burst into tears.

Maxwell pulled her into his arms and held her as she wept, making soft soothing sounds and stroking her hair as if she was a baby. She felt so good in his arms that he wanted to hold her forever. When she had shed all her tears, she looked up at him, her green eyes still shining with the promise of more to come, and he felt his heart melt.

"What happened, Kenna? Tell me," he urged, then he tightened his arms around her once more. "Tell me, please."

Kenna took a deep breath and said, "I think somebody knows about you, Ewan."

Maxwell stared at her, his heart hammering wildly as fear flooded his body. But he was not going to let her see his panic. He needed to be strong for her.

"What makes you think this, Kenna?" He tensed and sat down on the bed, pulling her down beside him. "Has someone said something to you? Tell me."

"One of the grooms has just declared that he would like to court me." She paused, then put her head in her hands. "He told me that he knew my secret, and that if I did not agree to walk out with him, he would tell everyone. When I told him I had no secret and asked him to tell me what he meant, he would not."

"So he could not actually put into words the secret he was telling you about?" Maxwell asked, raising his eyebrows. "I see what he is doing. He either would not because he knows and is deliberately keeping silent, or could not because he knows nothing and is bluffing because he wants something from you. There is a difference here.

"Do you not think that if he knew anything, he would have told you? Or would at this moment be telling someone else? I don't think he knows anything, but it makes it even more urgent that I leave as soon as possible. Truly, I am not worth the life you have here. You are comfortable, well-fed, and have a roof over your head. I will not risk you losing it all."

He turned away and began to collect his few meager possessions.

"You are doing it again!" Kenna said furiously.

"What?" Maxwell asked, although he knew what she meant.

"Tearing yourself to pieces!" She walked over to him and poked a finger in his chest. "I am so tired of all this self-pity!

Maxwell bristled. "Then I will tell you why I hate myself so much!"

He sat down on the bed and put his hands over his face for a moment, then began.

"I was brought up in a privileged background, and I am the oldest son of a clan, so I acted like many of the young men of my class do. I treated my servants abominably. I beat one of the stable boys for spilling water on my new leather boots once.

"He was only twelve years old and a poor, skinny little thing. I was sixteen and built more or less as you see me now. I had been drinking. It was the first time I ever tried strong drink, and I think I was overcome by it, even though I only drank a little. It brought out the worst in me.

"Anyway, my sister Lindsey, who is two years older than I am, came to the stables on an errand of her own a moment later. When she saw the boy lying on the ground, she put her arms around him and wiped away his tears because that is the kind of worthy woman she is. Then she sent him to the kitchen for some little treats and promised to go and see him later.

"Then she had two of the biggest of the grooms hold me while she set about me with a riding crop. I have never seen her so furious, before or since. She had absolutely no mercy, and afterwards there was not an inch of my body that was not covered in welts and bruises. I have never felt such pain before or since.

"‘There!' she shouted. ‘How do you like the taste of your own medicine, you little bag of slime? Tomorrow you are going to that boy and you are going to say sorry, and if I find out you have not done it, I will make your life such a misery you will wish you had never been born!'"

He paused, then gave an exasperated sigh.

"And I did apologize, but I learned nothing from it. Are you happy now?"