Chapter 13

Once Kenna had left for work, Maxwell realized that he had to tell her everything. Their situation was untenable; the room and the bed were too small for both of them, and he was almost constantly hungry, despite Kenna's best efforts. As well as that, there was the huge problem of the growing attraction between them, which was making it harder and harder for them to stay away from each other.

Holding her in his arms had been blissful, but he knew it could not happen again. Part of the experience of holding her had been the tension of his arousal, which was both pleasant and frustrating. He knew that he could not fulfill his desire, even though the temptation of the warm, soft body lying in his arms was almost irresistible.

As well as that, the whole situation was becoming more and more dangerous for Kenna. She was risking everything to save him, and he truly believed he was not worth saving.

He was standing looking out of the window when something—or rather someone—caught his eye. It was Douglas, who was throwing a ball at Duke. Maxwell eyed them sadly, wishing he could go and join them, and he chuckled as he watched Duke return the ball that Douglas had thrown for him, a great smile all over his doggy face.

Suddenly Douglas looked up, and their eyes met for a split second before Maxwell jumped back, his heart hammering. He stood still for a full minute before moving again, but as he turned, he realized that Kenna was standing, staring at him. She was holding a plate of leftovers for his breakfast.

Before he could stop her, she peeped out of the window. She had evidently seen the same view that he had. She turned back and looked at him suspiciously with narrowed eyes.

"Douglas and Duke. Why did you get such a fright?"

Maxwell could think of nothing to say for a moment, and he simply stared back at her, seeing the suspicion in her eyes turn into anger.

She looked out of the window and saw Douglas.

"Ewan, you look as if you have seen a ghost." She waited for one more moment, then stepped so close to him that she was only an inch away. "What are you hiding from me?" she demanded. "Why are you looking at Douglas that way?"

"I used to know him," Maxwell replied dully.

Kenna stared at him for a long moment, then put the plate of leftovers on the table.

"I will see you later," she said grimly. "I will try to bring you something this afternoon but don't depend on it. Every one of the McDonald family is here, and I will be very busy."

She flounced out of the room, leaving Maxwell staring at the door. He moved over to his food, which was an unappetizing mess of stale bread, cold black pudding, and some scrambled eggs. Still, he knew that he should be grateful for it, and he had to remind himself once more that Kenna was taking some huge risks for him.

He finished his breakfast quickly, glad of the cup of milk Kenna had managed to scrounge up for him, then lay back in bed with another of her books, but he simply could not concentrate on the words. Kenna was suspicious, and although up until now he had been skirting around the issue of admitting to her what he had done, he now felt as though he had been backed into a corner.

It would be impossible to stay even another night, and Maxwell resolved that after he had made his confession to Kenna, he would leave as soon as it was dark, even if the snow was still lying on the ground. His clothes were not warm enough, though, so he decided to see what was available in the stable, where they used thick blankets to cover the horses.

As for food, he would simply steal what he could from the kitchen since he was no longer prepared to put Kenna at risk.

After that, he would not allow himself to think about the future. His hope was to get to his estate of Kirklieth, but if he did not make it…well, everybody hated him anyway. No one would miss him, especially not Kenna. No doubt she would be heartily glad to be rid of him.

Up until she saw Ewan in the bedroom, Kenna had been in a better mood than she had been for ages. She was humming a happy tune while she filled a bucket of water for cleaning the floors. Then, as she was about to leave, her mother stopped her.

"Ye are in a very cheerful mood," she observed, smiling. "Did ye have good dreams, hen?"

"Indeed I did," Kenna answered, smiling.

Impulsively, she threw her arms around her mother and hugged her tightly.

Flora laughed. "So has Roy Nicholson spoken tae ye?" she asked, winking. "Is that why ye are sae happy?"

"No, he has not," Kenna answered. "He may think he is God's gift to women, but he is a coward."

"I will tell him ye said so," Flora answered, laughing but a little shocked. "He is a nice boy. Has somebody else caught yer eye?"

"Can I not just be happy, Mammy?" Kenna asked. "Why does it always have to be because of a man? I just feel good today."

Flora shrugged. "Is it no' about time it was because o' a man?" she asked. "Most o'—"

"—my friends are married with babies. Yes, I know, Mammy. If I had a shilling for every time you have told me that, I would be a very rich woman!"

Flora flapped a dishcloth at Kenna and wandered away, muttering something about never becoming a grandmother. Kenna laughed, put the bucket down outside the first bedroom she came to, then sneaked back to collect the plate she had made for Ewan. It was rather a meager offering, but it was the best she could do.

She opened the door to her chamber and saw him looking out of the window, as motionless as if he had been frozen. He was staring down at something on the grass outside, then abruptly he jumped back as if he had been stung.

Kenna, puzzled, pushed past him to see what he was looking at. It was Douglas and Duke, but Douglas was looking up at her chamber as if searching for something. As she watched, he lowered his gaze back to the dog, and they began to play with the ball again.

Something is going on, Kenna thought suspiciously. There is something he is not telling me, and I mean to find out what it is.

Later, as Kenna emerged from the bedroom she had been cleaning, she bumped into the young stable hand she and Flora had been discussing. He grabbed her upper arms to steady her as she almost fell over, but she was unable to stop at least a gallon of water from slopping out of her bucket.

"Kenna, I am that sorry," Roy Nicholson said, shaking his head. "I am such an eejit. I will clear up the mess."

"Don't worry, Roy," Kenna consoled him. "I can do it."

She smiled at him. He really is a handsome young man, she thought. He was tall, although not quite as tall as Ewan, with an athletic figure, corn-colored blond hair, and the kind of bright blue eyes young women swooned over. He usually had one or two of them in tow wherever he went, but not now. Now he was shifting nervously from foot to foot as he gazed at her but never quite met her eyes.

"I must get on with my work," Kenna told him. "Are you allowed in this part of the building?"

She raised her eyebrows questioningly. Stable hands were usually confined to the stables, courtyard, and fields.

"No, but I wanted tae see ye," he answered. "I didnae want any o' the other lads tae see me talkin' tae ye."

Kenna laughed and frowned at the same time. "Why not?"

Roy looked up and met her gaze at last. "Because they have a' been tellin' me for weeks that I should ask ye tae step out wi' me, but I never had the courage. Every time I looked at ye, I thought ye were tae lovely tae look at the likes o' me." He was flushed and biting his lip nervously.

"Well, according to all the ladies I know, you are a very handsome fellow," Kenna replied. "And asking ladies about anything has never bothered you before."

Roy stood up straighter and smiled, showing even white teeth and deep dimples on his cheeks.

"Thank ye, Kenna. Does that mean ye will walk out wi' me an' be my sweetheart?" He leaned toward her, ogling her suggestively.

Kenna had been seriously tempted by his offer until that moment. After all, he was a very attractive man, but that leer, and the way he had looked her in the eye so boldly, had immediately changed her mind. He was too confident, too full of himself for her to even consider him, and she could see now that his bashful demeanor had all been a sham. She felt like slapping him but restrained herself.

"I don't think so, Roy," she replied. "There is somebody else, you see."

This was not strictly true since Ewan was not hers, but she thought of him while she was refusing Roy, and it made what she said sound convincing.

Roy's jaw dropped. He had never been refused before, and he was not pleased.

"I see," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "Sorry tae have bothered ye, Kenna."

"I am flattered that you noticed me, Roy. Thank you," she replied graciously, but he was already striding angrily down the passage.

Kenna set to wiping up the mess. Men! She would never understand them.

"Was that Roy Nicholson I saw beltin' down the passage?" Jean McFarlane asked as she approached Kenna, looking puzzled. "He had a face like a wet weekend!"

Kenna laughed. "I suppose that was my fault," she admitted.

"Did he ask tae walk out wi' ye?" Jean asked, with a wicked smile on her face.

"Yes, he did," Kenna replied.

"What did ye say?" Jean was almost quivering in anticipation.

Kenna huffed in annoyance as she remembered Roy's face.

"I said thank you, but no, Jean."

The other woman looked at Kenna in complete astonishment.

"Are ye mad, Kenna?" Her voice was almost a squeak. "He is the best-lookin' fellow for miles!"

"Looks are not everything, Jean," Kenna reminded her. "You should have seen the way he looked at me." She shuddered. "I don't like him."

"I wish I could afford tae be sae picky!" Jean remarked, laughing.

Kenna looked at the other woman. They were about the same age, but Jean was plumper, with bright blue eyes and reddish-blonde hair. She was not unattractive, but none of the maids had Kenna's delicate beauty.

"You will find the right man soon, Jean," she said, smiling. "Any man who passes you by is a very silly man indeed! Anyway, I hear young Alec McBride is hot on your trail!"

Kenna knew she had made Jean's day by the way she was hugged tightly and kissed fervently a moment later, and she reflected that it felt wonderful to make someone happy!

If only someone could do the same for her.