22. Summer

22

SUMMER

H ow did I end up here?

In the Dizzy Duck Inn reception on the day after Thanksgiving, bright and early at 9am. Nothing is going according to plan today. Then again, it hasn't been for months.

Staring down at the pile of papers, I can't believe I forgot to sign off on the invoices that need to be paid by Monday. My mind has been muddled lately to say the least.

Staring at my name on the paper, I still sometimes wonder how a name could inflict so much emotion. I'm carrying the last name that has changed my life.

Sliding the papers into a yellow envelope, I write a quick note so Holden knows the contents. Now I can get on my way and drive to my brother's. My plan is to stay there until late afternoon.

Sighing, I turn to leave the lobby, but I hear someone call my name.

My eyes search and find an older lady who is smiling brightly at me. "Mrs. Nix?"

I point to myself. "Me?" She nods, and I step forward. "Is it my mother-in-law that you're after?" After all, what does this old lady want with me?

Her smile remains. "No, dear, you. You live in my house now."

"Oh. You must be Mrs. Grace?" I never met her, but I heard about the friendly lady.

"Yes. I'm staying here while I'm in town to see my granddaughter. I do hope that you're enjoying my old house."

"What's not to love."

Her eyes bow for a second. "I'm sorry about your husband."

My lips purse out. "Thank you. "

"He was a special man. You know, when he heard I might sell, he first came to me almost two years ago, asking if I would sell early. I thought it was the most heartbreaking thing."

My head perks to the side. "How so?"

"He told me how he was dying and wanted to ensure that you would have the house and everything you would need."

"W-what?" It makes no sense. He only found out he was terminal a month before Bo was born. Everything happened so quickly. "It can't be. He was sick but not that sick then."

Confusion paints onto her face. "Huh. I clearly remember him telling me how he didn't have much time. He pleaded with me to sell because he thought it would be a house that you would want. I wasn't quite ready, even though he pulled on my heartstrings."

"But I only moved in much later."

She shrugs. "Well, I only decided later."

"Are you sure you have the timing right?" It simply can't be. Zac wouldn't have kept that from me.

Mrs. Grace seems to grasp that she's sharing new information with me, and she gently touches my shoulder. "Forget what I said. I'm just happy you live in my old house. It's a perfect little place."

I nod with an attempted closed-mouth smile. "Uhm, I need to be somewhere, but it was lovely meeting you." Swallowing, I do my best to digest her information. "Have a lovely holiday weekend."

"You too, dear."

Fleeing, I find myself behind the wheel of my car, paused and wondering what the hell.

"I've made sure that you have everything that you'll need, I promise."

Shaking my head, I'm even more happy now to get the fuck out of Lake Spark.

Wandering through Keats's home to the kitchen, it's clear this restored old house is far too big for him. Despite the farmhouse kitchen that brings a bit of lightness, this place screams bachelor pad, down to his tray of whiskey tumblers and crystal decanter near a restored fireplace.

"Juice or water? I actually went to the grocery store this morning," he informs me as he disappears behind his fridge door.

Sitting at the island, I twiddle my thumbs as I tell him a water.

He reappears with a bottle for me. "I'm happy you came, though without my nephew, but still a relief that you feel this place is a refuge. I just wish it was under better circumstances."

My lips twist as I play with the cap of the water bottle. "I wanted some air to clear my head, and since you said you wanted to work yesterday and let me enjoy time alone with the Nix family, then I have no choice but to drive here. And trust me, I didn't enjoy the time alone."

Keats reaches out to soothe my arm with his hand. "I'm sorry. I wish things were better. They didn't take it well that you and Nash are something, did they?"

"His father, absolutely not. Gail seemed okay. She wants to keep me in the family, even if that means switching sons. I'm getting confused if I've ruined their family or if they ruined my life. But after unraveling it all, I'm well aware that they didn't destroy my life and they probably didn't mean their words."

"Nah, they don't hate you or anything. They're just sensitive considering the last year. But to be honest, the parents are not bothering you. It's something else. Or rather someone."

Clawing my hair with my fingers, I growl a sound of frustration. "I love him, but I fear I've been blinded." My hands slide down to rub the back of my neck. "Everything is spinning so fast that I'm not sure I'm looking the right way," I admit. The clouded judgment isn't just a theory, I'm now an example of it.

"Summer, I was convinced that's what you and Nash are. But you smile around him, seem more yourself. It's more a question of if you're truly ready to move on."

Licking my lips, the question in my head confronts me again. "That's when the guilt cycle begins to turn. I've never really moved on from Nash, just tucked him away. It's a horrible thing to say out loud because I had a husband, but I loved him too, just in an altered way. Not many people would realize that, nor am I going to correct them. Zac wanted a wife, and he got one, so I won't let the world know that it was anything different."

"You never explained it fully, but you're my kid sister, and it was always my sixth sense. "

"The thing is… to everyone it must appear that Nash is sliding right in where his brother left off, but I don't see any other way. It's a wall about what the future may look like. I'm just stuck in a moment."

Keats tips his head in the direction of the couch. "Come on. This conversation deserves a more relaxed setting."

I half smile in agreement and hop off the stool. Walking to the living room, I glance out the window to see the gray sky and notice the neighbor's house. "It's empty. Your new neighbor hasn't moved in yet?"

"Why? Want to move closer to me? You know I would love it."

"Ha, ha. You've offered many times for Bo and me to move in here for a bit, but we're staying in Lake Spark."

My brother flops onto the sofa. "The neighbor better move in soon, otherwise I swear a family of raccoons might take up occupancy. Now back to you, and no more small talk." He narrows his eyes at me.

I salute him that I shall listen. "The wall, right?" I check to remember where we left off, and he nods to confirm. "I don't think I see any other paths with Nash, but responsible me reminds myself that we are skipping a lot of steps."

"Well… he does live with you."

I roll my eyes. "Which feels like that might be a strange story, too. I think I just need to hear it one more time from someone that I'm allowed to be happy, and it just so happens to be with Nash."

"The guy annoys the shit out of me, but he loves you. If he makes you happy then it's okay."

"Maybe I should slow us down, you know? Suddenly, Bo has more than an uncle in the picture. Nash is so much beyond. We have to tread carefully. "

Keats stares at me blankly. "Bo chews on his foot. He is fine."

I crack a smile at his comment. "As true as that is, I wouldn't want to do anything that will affect him. Nash is… great with him. None of us expected that. Maybe I didn't want that. I was counting on him leaving after six weeks, yet he didn't leave at all."

"Sounds to me that you get to have everything you wanted. A friendship and a son. And now the guy who I'm fairly positive you wanted all along. Now you just need to come to terms with it."

My eyes grow as I sigh. "You're supposed to be solving this situation for me. That's kind of crazy too. Your romantic life needs improvement." I pinch his arm.

"We're focusing on you today," my brother deadpans.

"I'm kind of surprised how calm you are. Considering my life is imploding, I thought for sure you would go brother bear on me."

"Meh, as much as I want to punch a few people, it's a holiday weekend. I'm being considerate. Besides, Nash hasn't actually done anything wrong. It's you and what's inside of your head that's the problem. The pin will drop any moment, I feel it."

I have to smirk at his optimism. "Did you really just have a few drinks with friends last night after work? Are you sure they didn't slip anything into your food?" I joke.

"Funny." He slides his eyes to the side then back to me. "Take the afternoon to breathe and lightning will come. Now don't fucking ponder any more right now, I want to take you for lunch or at least try this coffee place in town. I would say it's part of my marketing plan to get you to move here, but I think you would much rather still refresh and start your life anew in Lake Spark. "

My brother cares so much, and it makes the corners of my mouth hitch. "You're probably right. In fact, I know you're right. Just need a little more time to clear my head."

Keats stands up and offers me his hand. "Coffee it is then."

Chipping the brick away. It takes time. I'm not there yet, but the brick wall is getting smaller.

Arriving back to my house, I see the lights on upstairs which tells me that Nash is home and probably getting Bo to bed. I was expecting that. I just wasn't expecting Walter to be waiting in his car on the street.

This was bound to happen at some point, but still, I slide out of my seat with a little dread. He exits his car and walks toward me. Closing my door, I take a few steps to meet him halfway.

"Summer."

"That's me." I avoid looking at him and examine the area instead. The outside lights are enough for us to read one another.

He clears his throat. "I owe you an apology. A big one."

My shoulders sag, and my mouth quirks out. "I think you also said what you think."

"Maybe so, but I could have worded it better, and I was out of line. It's just hard to figure this all out. They're both my sons and very different in all ways. Except they share one thing in common, and that's… you."

My gaze snaps in his direction, and he must sense that he caught me off guard. "I believe you realize that, too."

Crossing my arms around my body, I inhale a long breath only to let it fall out. "I don't want you to think that I'm a horr?—"

He holds his palm up in protest. "I don't, so no need to say it."

"How long have you been waiting?"

"Nash was with Gail all afternoon, and he mentioned you would be back later. I arrived here and he was already upstairs. He hasn't realized that I'm here."

I chortle a laugh. "Maybe that's for the best. I want to remain on good terms with my neighbors."

Walter seems to find that amusing. "Probably a good idea."

A long pause lingers around us.

"Again, I'm sorry. I might not be forgotten, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry."

"Consider it forgotten and move on." My personal crime, giving forgiveness so easily. I do it a lot. Especially with men from this family.

"You make it too easy on us. You know if you just held your ground a little more then maybe it will be easier to move forward."

Now I laugh to myself. "I think I'm offended by that comment but to hell with it. We can sweep the last forty-eight hours away and just… tomorrow, you and Gail can spend more time with Bo before you head back."

He nods. "Thank you." He begins to leave, but a thought comes to me.

"Uhm, an unusual question. It's just the timeline in my head is blurry, and things happened so quick when we realized that Zac wasn't going to get better. Only two months and then he was gone. Right, two months?" Not a year.

Nash's dad scratches his cheek. "Yeah, Summer. Your memory serves you well. "

"A silly question, I'm sorry. Just… have a good night."

I'm not sure if the air is eerie or hopeful or just plain strange. At least I got an apology, and it did feel as though he felt remorse. I kind of have enough issues as it is to let it bubble in my head.

Settling back home, I set my coat and purse by the door, take my shoes off, and go upstairs. When I reach the top of the stairs, I can already see that Nash is tiptoeing out of Bo's room, clearly having just put Bo down.

"Hey," he whispers.

"Hi. I guess I just missed it."

Nash steps to the side. "Have a look."

I walk on the balls of my feet to keep quiet and then peek through the half-open door to hear a little snore. My little heart, forever he will be.

Warmth of a hand on my shoulder causes my head to turn to Nash. "A good day?"

"He was fine. You?"

"I'm tired."

Nash scoops up my hand to guide me to my bedroom, or is it our bedroom? What a muddle of logistics. "Want me to leave you be?" he checks in, because it seems he's reading my thoughts.

"Tomorrow we'll talk. For now, let's go to sleep. Hold me under the covers, Nash. That's what I need," I coo, wanting to say nothing, and instead, comfort is what I want now.

He nods in understanding, and as he tows me toward the room, I glance over my shoulder to the room of white noise and nightlights then back to Nash.

"Don't worry, Summer. I've made sure that you have everything that you'll need, I promise."

It floats in my head, pushing me to the finishing line.