10. Summer

10

SUMMER

T he heaviness of sleep begins to fade as I stretch my body, my eyes blinking open. It takes a second or two, but then I realize where I am. In my bed, except I'm lying on top of the duvet with a throw blanket over my body. The setup causes me to sit up and attempt to recall how I got here.

The only thing that makes sense is that Nash must have carried me up here. I only remember sitting on the couch while he put away dishes. I must have fallen asleep. I rub my eyes to wake up further.

A little gesture begins to cause chaos inside of me. If I ended up here, then it means I was in his arms. For a moment, I let down my defenses yesterday, and a natural hug found my body far too close to his. The idea of Nash carrying me to my bedroom shouldn't affect me, but it does.

I hear the breakout of Bo's cry beginning to form. Our clocks are aligned, so I know that he is waking, too. I swing my legs out of bed, my feet touching the rug. I'm still in my tank top and jeans from yesterday, but I'll worry about that later .

Walking groggily into the hall, a peculiar sound occurs; Bo hasn't reached his full-fledged crying status.

My eyes open wide when I reach the doorway to his room. Immediately, my sight strikes up to the ceiling, trying to gain composure.

"Hey," Nash greets me.

He's pulling Bo up and out of his crib. Albeit, shirtless. What's worse is that I don't think he is even lacking a shirt on purpose. That just makes this all the more endearing.

Internally I curse to myself before getting a grip. "Hey. Looks like we can upgrade your baby skills from a four to a five." I meander into the room and reach my arms out to take hold of my son, but Nash makes no effort to hand him to me.

"It's good. I think I can handle making oatmeal if you want to change."

Subconsciously, my eyes slip down to examine myself, and I cross my arms as if I can shield myself. "Yeah, sure… uhm, thanks?" My voice is uneven. "I mean for taking me to bed." His eyes widen. Shit. "I mean not to bed , just bed, my bed, setting me in bed so I can sleep." Phew, I think I saved that.

He tries to suppress his melting grin, but I see it all the same. "I got what you meant the first time."

I blow out a breath, thankful that we can move on. "Just thanks. Okay?"

"No problem," Nash says as he swings his body side to side, and Bo seems to take interest in grabbing Nash's chin.

"And, yeah, that would help if you can do the oatmeal. I normally make it then bring him to the bathroom so I can shower and he chills in his bouncer," I explain.

I take a few steps to Bo's dresser and pull out some clothes and a fresh diaper then pause when I pivot to look at Nash with doubt. "Maybe I should get him dressed. "

Nash chuckles. "Nah, I have to learn."

Skeptically, I agree. A few seconds' pause is mindless. Well, that is until it bursts out of my mouth about logistics last night. "How did you carry me up the stairs?"

He gives me a proud look. "Summer, I've played hockey most of my life. If I don't have the ability to carry you, then I think they were paying millions to the wrong person," he jokes.

It causes me to smirk. "If you say so."

Our eyes remain locked for a moment before I leave him to be with my son who is cooing.

The moment I'm out of the room, I lean against the hallway wall and sigh, acknowledging that there has been a shift between Nash and me. And it's scary.

Watching Nash skate is somehow soothing, with his hockey stick in hand, oblivious to me. Is it the sound of blades on ice? Or simply knowing that he'll be surprised I'm here.

Truthfully, I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to drive here, but my feet are planted to watch as I hold Bo in my arms. When Nash looks up for a millisecond, he does a double take, surprised that I'm here, as he should be. I raise Bo's wrist to give a little wave to Nash, and a faint line on his mouth slides up.

Nash slowly skates our way until he's at gate from the ice.

"Hey. Wasn't expecting you to be here."

My eyes circle the arena. "Well, me neither, but here I am. You mentioned earlier about coming here." My face must show that I'm pleased to be here; no jabs are planned to leave my mouth in the next few minutes.

Nash uses his stick to toss up the puck until he snatches it away and shows Bo. "Maybe you'll like hockey one day," he says to my son before his eyes dart to me as he waits for an explanation.

"I just wanted to… well, everyone is right, maybe." There I said it.

His face screws up in confusion.

"Maybe I do need a little help," I admit. Nash listens patiently. "Can we just forget I said anything." I'm backtracking and press my lips together and rinse the thoughts in my mind. But Nash's eyes study me, and his face is neutral. "Fine." I roll my eyes, caving. "Maybe we can just… keep it between us?"

"We're good at that," he remarks simply. My lashes bat as I recognize the truth in that. "But yeah… we can."

Appreciation floods my face.

"Anything for you," he mutters. I don't think he expected me to hear, but my breath hitches all the same.

"Lie of the century," I rasp. He left. "But let's keep this a normal conversation. Besides, there are seven-year-olds about the descend onto the ice. We can keep it classy and get an award for this perfectly normal conversation." I straighten my posture as much as I can with a baby propped on one hip.

The corners of his mouth twist. "Sure."

"Okay, well, uh… see you at home." He looks at me strangely, probably because I'm being awkward. Even when I turn to leave only to backtrack, I find him waiting in the exact spot with the exact same facial expression. "Actually, I thought about going for a coffee or ice cream with Bo. Maybe…"

Now he just grins. "I would like to tag along?" He helps me out because my invitation just spewed out of my mouth without thought .

"Yeah, something like that. Or like that." It drags out of my mouth.

He chuckles as he lowers his hand to unlock the gate. "I'll see you soon then."

Debating, I'm not sure if this is the right move. It's just Bo, and Nash is his uncle. I can't keep Nash at bay. This is good for Bo. Hence, why all three of us are wandering down Main Street to Jolly Joe's for ice cream.

"I'm surprised it isn't colder. The weather for fall seems to be okay," Nash remarks.

I continue to push Bo's stroller. "You may have jinxed us."

The fall decorations of Lake Spark overpower the scene. Pumpkins, hay bales, a weird-looking scarecrow, plus fakes leaves in shop windows.

"Are you decorating the house for Halloween?"

Shrugging a shoulder, I remind myself that is another item on my to-do list. "I guess I should at least get a pumpkin or something. Trick-or-treaters are ruthless here."

A brimming smile is pasted on his face. "Oh, I remember. Prime prank time."

"Speaking from experience." I give him a pointed look, very well aware of his younger antics.

"Don't you want to take Bo to a pumpkin patch or something? Isn't that a photo-op necessity?"

I move my head side to side in contemplation. "Solid point. I'll figure it out."

He nudges my shoulder with his. "There's a pumpkin farm down in Bluetop, at the Blisswood winery. We can go there one day. "

We.

I'm wary of the term, as much as it warms my heart. "Maybe a good idea." We arrive at Jolly Joe's, and Nash is quick to open the door for me. "One scoop of blueberry and one scoop of rainbow sherbet per your usual? The ice cream of senior citizens."

Nash seems surprised. "You remember my ice cream flavor choice?"

"Of course, I do. How many times have we been here?"

A fond smile shades his face. "Probably too many to count, Ms. Chocolate Cherry Shake."

My mouth turns to an O shape. "Seems you remember, too. It's a classic flavor," I protest.

We find our way to a table, and I get situated as Nash prepares to order at the counter. "For the little guy?"

"I don't really let him have too much sugar, but they say the vanilla bean here has the least amount, so perhaps a small scoop of that."

"Got it."

Finding a table, I decide to leave Bo in his stroller and hand him a soft book with different activities, it should keep him occupied. My eyes drift to Nash ordering with his suave smile that he gives everyone. I hate that it's the little things that bring back memories that makes me twist inside.

"So, you watched the game?" Nash wipes a hand through his sweaty hair while he holds his helmet to the side, with the background noise of the arena. His face is red, and he still causes my middle to swirl. I was up in Michigan to visit a friend from college and Nash left tickets for us.

"Well, I'm here, aren't I?" I tease.

He's nearly bashful and glances away while he licks his lips. When his sight returns to me, I think we might be melting. It's been a few years since we both acted on a spark, because who knew a simple kiss could cause years of attraction to grow. The seldom times that we saw one another since, we left it as a magnetism between us that we never acted on. But tonight feels different.

"What are you doing after?"

"My friend and I were going to probably get a drink."

A devilish grin hits his mouth. "I need to change, but I'll text you a place where we can all meet."

I snicker a laugh. "Something feels like this isn't an innocent ‘let's go for ice cream' suggestion."

That grin is my undoing. "It's really not. But I think you knew that when you came here."

"Earth to Summer." Nash waves a hand in front of my face, and it snaps me back to reality, brushing thoughts of how our secret months began.

I forcefully form a smile. "Yeah, sorry, just… remembering something for work."

Nash slides into the booth, not entirely convinced, and thanks the waitress for following with the ice cream and shake. "You have work tomorrow?" he asks me.

"Yeah. You're going to meet with your parents' realtor?" He nods in answer. "Sounds like we're busy then. Bo will be with the babysitter, so everything is on schedule."

"Cool."

I try not to look at him in a different way. It's just odd to be sitting here as if life is normal… and the three of us are together.

"I forgot to ask you how your brother is," Nash says. Yep, general everyday conversation.

"Keats is doing well. Checks up on me far too much, but hey, who doesn't?"

My brother is older than me by a few years and just moved a few towns over after living in the city. He's on the legal counsel for the Lake Spark Spinners. We're close, as our parents kind of live in their own world, divorced and now living with new spouses who don't get our approval.

Nash watches me intently with understanding. "That's good to hear."

"Your mom mentioned in the group chat that she enjoyed seeing a photo of you and Bo together."

He beams an honest smile. "Yeah, took it when you were getting ready. Figured, it would make them happy." His attention turns to Bo who is busy chewing on the corner of his book. Nash leans over to take the book away. "Come on, buddy, let's trade that for some ice cream."

Nash slides the small cup of ice cream his way and grabs the small spoon. I must be motionless as I watch everything unfold in front of me. The way he flawlessly offers Bo a small bite and then waits before scooping up another. No experience with babies my ass, he must have lied.

I have to wonder. "Did you ever want kids? I mean, with whomever you might have dated… in the past." My face flushes with uncomfortable warmth. I shouldn't be asking this.

It causes Nash to plop the spoon back into the bowl. "No bullshit, Summer. You asked that, and you're not sure why, except it's more than curiosity." His face is serious. "To answer your question. No. Why? Because there hasn't been anyone remotely close to y—" He stops short of what I'm well aware he is about to say.

My chest wants to burst, and my throat closes. He's right. I wanted to hear him say that there wasn't anyone else. Maybe I wanted him to suffer for pushing me away all those years ago or maybe I wanted him to confirm that I'm not crazy in my theories. Either way, the truth is now out in the open .

We both sit here, trying to understand what to say or do. Ease hits us when Bo squeaks a noise and steals our attention, immediately causing both of us to laugh. He managed to get his fingers into the ice cream.

"Uh-oh, we have a misfit in training." Nash slides the bowl away while I grab a napkin.

"Must run in the family." Our eyes connect in recognition.

Because Nash has always done things in his own way.

Which means he will do the same now that he's back in Lake Spark.

"This is pretty good," Lexi informs me with a full mouth as we sit by the turned-off fireplace in the inn's lobby.

I hold up a small wrapped candy. "I think so. I mean, we have the welcome sugar cookies now shaped in pumpkins and ghosts. Now we also have homemade Halloween candy with Dizzy Duck Inn wrappers."

"A perfect touch."

"Yeah, completely." I drop the caramel back into the bowl. Lexi swallows her candy, and the way she's studying me is unnerving. "What?" I wonder.

"Are you okay? You seem distant. Not in a bad way, just distant in a different way."

A long exhale leaves my lungs. "I don't know anymore. It's more Nash reappearing in my life."

"Hmm. Is it not going well with him following Zac's wishes?"

I press my lips together. "For Bo, it's fine. For me?" My head tips to the side. "Not so much. He's stirring up too much."

"About Zac? "

My mouth crosses from one side to the other. "No… Nash and I."

Lexi surveys the area to ensure we're all alone, and despite nobody in sight, she still scoots closer to me. "What about you two, exactly?"

"We were together once. Long before Zac."

She offers me a comforting look. "I kind of figured. You just never talked about it."

My shoulders lift to my ears. "Kind of hard to. I married his brother. But Nash coming back stirs up a pot of memories, remorse for even thinking some of things that are running through my head…" I begin to list.

She touches my arm. "If you mean Zac, well, he isn't around to judge," she delicately reminds me.

"I don't know what he can judge me for, except it feels like something. A tide is changing. I could say it was Nash and me fighting, but in truth, it moved as soon as he returned. And I don't know what to do." My lips begin to quiver because everything inside of me hurts, wants, and hopes all in one.

Lexi offers me a hug and soothes my back with her palm. "Maybe this is what you need to move on. We all mourn in different ways."

I begin to play with the ends of my hair. "Perhaps so. I'm just scared shitless that a door to the past might be reopened. I'm not sure it's the right thing to do."

I always feel appreciation when my friends listen without judgment. I've never shared the full story of the dynamics between me and the Nix brothers, but they would be blind not to see that there is something far too deep. A wound that I'm wondering if it could ever be healed.

The two wounds they caused. Or was it me?

"There isn't a timeframe for when you can move on. Or explore what needs to be. Maybe that's what you need? Clarity, and that only can happen in a way that works for you."

My lips quirk out, and everything inside of me is one big hurricane brewing. "You're right."

"Good, because Nash just arrived with the other owners who use inn meetings as an excuse to just have a good time," she nervously states with a droll smile.

We both stand, and she heads straight to her husband. Stone walks to the reception desk to ask something, and Nash stays put. But I don't say anything; my chest visibly moving up and down is enough of a message.

"How was your meeting? Or rather time at the ice rink? I can only imagine it was all productive," Lexi teases her husband and pats his chest.

Holden circles his eyes between all of us, with the stiffness between me and Nash gnawing away at our current loss of clarity. "Not productive at all except for getting some tension out. Funny how skating and hockey pucks can do that."

She yanks his arm slightly, well aware that his observation is only multiplying the strain in here.

My only option is to escape when Nash doesn't say anything, instead he wipes his thumb across his jaw. "I'm going to leave you all. Need to check on one of the rooms. A guest had a special request before they arrive," I explain.

I dart away before anyone can say anything.

My powerwalk doesn't seem to be fast enough because when I'm upstairs pulling a key out of my pocket to unlock the door, I feel him near even if I don't see him.

"Go away, Nash," I request, although I know that it falls on deaf ears.

He steps closer. "I don't think I can. I think that you are avoiding the obvious. "

I refuse to meet his gaze. "Humor me," I tell him dryly.

"The shift between us since the other day, it's changed things. Neither one of us has figured out what."

Fumbling with the key, I choose not to answer.

"Summer, it's impossible. Always has been between us. Except now it's anything but and that scares the hell out of me, which means it scares the hell out of you. Tell me I'm wrong." He reaches out to grab my arm when I get the door open.

My heart flips, my throat tightens, and a turmoil of emotion barrels up inside of me. I can't face him, I shouldn't face him.

But I do.

A mere glance and then I do it.

My hands plunge forward and grip his shoulders as I slam my lips onto his, a world of memories hitting me like a drug.

Instantly, he wraps his arm around me with pure reverence. Our lips don't need to explore, because they are meeting again in a fierce return. Hard, crushing, and tender, yet fast all the same.

We tumble into the room, our mouths not parting, instead tilting to get more. Our tongues greet one another in a reunion. I swear my body reacts as if no time has passed between Nash and me.

It's so fierce and desperate. I'm not sure who is murmuring and who is leading. The air I breathe is Nash's again. No thoughts of the time between us interfering. He kisses me just as he did when I was his.

Why aren't our mouths more hesitant? Why is my entire body easing into Nash just as a piece fits into a puzzle?

Then we slow, with his hands sliding up to cradle my face. Our lips soften, they chase, they part, they return. We stop. Our foreheads touching and our bodies still connected, I soak in this moment.

Wondering if this is the circle that leads back to a starting point.

Nash. Oh, Nash.

You came back wanting to fulfill a promise, caring for me. That was the request. I'm not sure taking my heart back was part of that.

It's simple. I want to stay. But something still inside me is enough to cause me to flee.

"Nash, this can't or can or, I don't know… just, I have to go."

I begin to escape, but he pulls me back. "Summer."

My eyes strike up to meet his that are full of devotion to his new plan. Still, I need to breathe in air that isn't drenched in Nash's presence. "Nash," I plead.

He nods subtly in understanding and quickly gives me a kiss on my forehead as a parting gift right before I leave.

Because I'm running away from the inevitable.